What's The Craic?

Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com slash call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Henry, welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan. Hello there, everybody. What's the crack? Ah, what's the crack? What's the crack? What's the crack? I've never heard that. That's sort of, correct me if I'm wrong, Henry, but what's the crack means? What's the scuttlebutt? What are you guys talking about? What's the gossip, the hot goss? Is that right? Exactly. What's the scuttlebutt? That's exactly what we mean. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry. Scuttlebutt is an ancient Greek term. Henry. Your name is Henry. What's your last name, Henry? Henry Duhan. And where are you coming to us from? I'm calling from County Donegal in the northwest of Ireland. Oh, God bless you, sir. God bless you. It's nice to talk to you. Tell me a little bit about, I'm just, I'm fascinated. You've probably heard me talk about this, but my people have been in the United States for over 100 years, but I am still genetically 100% Irish, which is disgusting if you really get into it. I'm with you on this one, Sona. Now, tell me, Henry, but I think to myself all the time, there are people in Ireland who are a quarter Spanish or half French or they've got some bell. What about you? What's your story? Well, as you can see, I am probably, I'm as pale as yourself. As I think Bill Hicks once said, we have, like if people in America have lovely tan skin and white teeth, we have tan teeth and white skin here. God bless Bill Hicks. Yeah. Yeah, I am pretty much, I think I'm 100% Irish like yourself. And I think you're probably one of our, you're our best guy. Oh, I don't know about, I don't know. I think it's a terrible burden to bear to be 100% Irish. Do you have crazy nightmares? I do. I feel like I'm somewhat insane. Do you find that it's a burden being 100% Irish? Do you know what? You could be worse things in fairness, you know. You know, we're lucky enough to have a lot of whiskey to try and drown them sorrows. Are you suggesting there's like a form of Irish nightmare that's distinct only to the Irish or something? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, the bar is always closed. Yeah, yeah. But you bring up a good point, Henry. There are many worse things. I can't think of any at the time, but I'm sure there are. And I like your attitude. You have a very positive attitude, Henry. Well, I'm very, very positive today. Usually I'm a very cynical and annoyed person, but today I'm on cloud nine today speaking with yourselves. Oh, that's so nice. Henry, have you been listening to the podcast or are you a fan? Oh, here, look at this. See the thing behind me there? Yeah. That is their original Nick Littleton, Taney stuntman costume from your show. Oh, that's a sketch. That's a sketch we did many years ago. Dimitri Martin did it. It was a very funny sketch. Yeah. You bought that? Yeah. My wife bought it for me. Yeah. When you were finishing up with late night, I believe you kind of auctioned off a lot of- I don't think I did, by the way. I don't think I did. I think you have that, I think someone was selling shit at NBC, but it was not me. So I'm glad that your wife got it and I'm glad that it went to a real fan, but no. Yeah. Well, I'm very sorry. Yeah, I'm bloody hell. It cost a pretty penny as well for something that's been in the attic for about 10 years now. Oh man, yeah. I really want to investigate this now because someone at NBC way back in 2009 said, well, Conan's leaving. Let's sell all of his stuff and keep the money. And I have some ideas as to who it might've been. Do you know what the worst thing is? She also bought me a night with Andy Richter as well, for some reason. Oh, trust me. You will not regret it. You will not regret it. I've never been held more tenderly in my entire life, Henry, than my night with Andy Richter. He looks very cuddly. No, I was going to say, no, I'm one of your OG fans, I believe, from back in the day. Oh, did you? Well, you're a young lad. Did you grow up watching the late night show? I was a teen. So in Ireland here, we don't have NBC the same as yourselves there. So full disclosure, the way it came to scroll for you was back then, I used to watch it on satellite TV. Yep. And my brother emigrated to America, and he didn't pay the satellite bill. So we had no other channels to watch but MSNBC or something from Germany. Yep. So I discovered your show from that. Oh, that's right. They re-ran us for a while on MSNBC, I think. Or CNBC. One of those. So I had the choice of watching yourself or going to mass on Saturday night. So it was... That's a crossroads for him. That is a dirty crossroads. You know what I love, Henry? I love that you basically just said, as a teenager, I watched you because I had little to no choice. That's like a Greek tragedy where you got to choose to go between the island with the monsters and the world. It's really... No, but I will say, I will say, Henry, I don't care how I get fans. The fact that you basically were forced to watch, that works for me too. As long as you, we got you in the tent, I'm happy. I know. You know what I couldn have been a better default fan than a Macondo brain fan It was fantastic Well tell me a little bit What do you do Henry What your livelihood Oh, well, I am very, very lucky. I run my own business. It's doneigaltourguide.ie, and I am a tour guide, and I drive people around Donegal every day, showing them all at the lovely countryside. So you just say, there's a green shrub, there's another one, there's some really green grass, there's a guy with a hat standing by the side of the road with a shovel there's more green grass what are you showing them well Donegal is like the most beautiful county gorgeous here I don't want to ostracize from me from the other 31 counties here in the country but uh no it's a beautiful beautiful spot here um it's uh it's uh because the fourth largest county we've got 1200 kilometers well over 1200 kilometers coastline and it's also noticed the forgotten county of ireland so uh people haven't been a lot of uh visitors coming here in the past few years so um wow we've been henry it really must be beautiful and special if everyone in ireland forgot about it here that wasn't our fault oh it's so special really yeah everyone forgot well we say that is because we are kind of like the poor cousins we have no infrastructure coming up here uh there's no motorways and we're bordered by northern ireland as well so beautiful yeah even though the rest of the country they forget about us but you know what we don't you know we're okay with that can you show me on that map that's behind you where you are can you just point on a map to where you are right now do you mind yeah we're right up here this is done here oh there you go okay oh wow that's near where my family from in uh in magra felt in Northern Ireland. You just said, that's where my family from. That's where my family from. Apparently not that long ago. My family from. He emigrated eight minutes ago. My family from there. My family from there. Yeah. So your guys are in Northern Ireland, but we're in the Republic here, but we'll not against you. I don't blame you. Let me ask you something. Henry, what kind of tour guide are you? Are you pretty serious or do you keep it light? Well, I learned everything I did from tour gated from yourself. Oh, no. I have bad news to you, Henry. I am not a tour guide. This is a new meaning to turn forgotten. You see, you have people coming on every night for maybe 30 minutes or so to talk to. I have a captive audience for about eight hours a day, and I get to talk and tell all my own jokes. And then at the end of the day, when they've given me a positive review, I give them back their luggage and they're free to go. Ah. That's a good tip. I used to do that with my audiences at the late night show. I used to confiscate all their phones and wallets before the show and if they didn't laugh, they didn't get them back. So it worked out very nicely. You would love this. You would love tour guiding with him. I think I would. I think I would be, how do you think I'd be as a Donnie Gall tour guide? Um, Kona, for real, you'd be the best because it's all about ad libbing and improvising and everything and like, you know, you're the king of that. you know so that's nice of you to say i don't know but and i'll tell you this nothing humbles me more than the times i've been to ireland because i think i'm a pretty funny person and then i'll get into a taxi cab and the driver's much funnier than i am i just it just runs in the water there so that's a compliment we don't take ourselves too seriously here that's the main thing everybody likes to you know you don't be too high on a pedestal before we take you down oh no i know Yeah, that's funny. That is exactly how my brothers and sisters operate and my family. It's always, you can't start to think you're something because they'll take you right down. Absolutely. And that's the thing, like, you know, you're self-deprecating humor. That's like myself and so many other people have kind of emulated your kind of sense of humor. That's nice. You know, maybe it hasn't done us too well. Oh, hey. Wait, Henry, are you saying that I've ruined Ireland. There it is. I just, I just know that I'm a tour guide. My problem, Henry, is if I were a tour guide and I went along with you, I'm quite certain I wouldn't take the time to learn anything. I'd make it up and it would just be a bunch of lies. It would be, as you people say, shite. Here, don't give away our trade secrets because that is a lot of it, you know. Yeah, you see that the key is you get them out of the car before they realize. And the worst thing to have is Google because once people start Googling and find out the truth, then you're in trouble. But yeah, it's a lot of making it up as you go along. Yeah, I meant to go this road, even though it's a dead end. That's the way you do it. Just make it up on the fly. Henry, tell me a little bit about your life. You married, are you in a relationship? What's happening? Yeah, I've been married to Leanne, my lovely wife, there since 2009. I've got three lovely kids who are all sleeping there soundly right now at the minute. Harrison, Drada, and John. And they're the best kids you could ask for. They're lovely. And yeah, thankfully, they've all been sent to bed with duct tape over their mouths at night for the recording. That a strange custom you have Henry And it had nothing to do with you interviewing here did it It just what you do every night Time for the duct tape Yeah so and your wife is she supportive of your humor She is a very long-suffering wife because, as you know, the whole night, every day when I'm not working, it's all about bits and doing jokes, having jokes and just making fun all the time and the poor woman has nowhere else to go that's the problem like so well guess what i think your wife should talk to my wife because i'd say that liza yeah liza um god bless her she's sticking with me and she's a wonderful mother and a great wife but there are times where i'm doing my bits my shtick running my mouth in the kitchen about nonsense and she says you've got to take this outside you've got to go outside and do this with a squirrel because i can't take this anymore yeah well when i first met my wife there um the first thing i said to well a few things i said to her i said she went to she was going to pick me up or sorry we're going to go for a date and she said what time could you pick me up and i said well i can't drive couldn't drive a car back then she's like you can't drive and i said you'd be surprised by the amount of things that i can't do but henry here's what i love about that you've got to be honest up front you need to tell her that. There are a lot of people who would think, well, I'll lie. I'll bluff my way through this. I'll say, I can't drive tonight because I had my eyes dilated by the optometrist. You'll have to do it tonight and then quickly go and figure out a way to get a license on the side. But no, you put it out there. You put the truth out there. And that's what I did with my wife. I decided on our first date that I was going to just be as foolish as I could possibly be. And if she made through that night then i'd be okay and she left me but then i met someone else who became my wife yeah no it's all full destroyed the best thing you do is honestly up front no bs at all that's the best way to do it and that's the way i run my tours i just like to tell everybody as it is and you know back back to that again when i came back after a good few tours and i threw the money down the table and my wife said my god i can't believe we found something that you're good death do you tell your passengers that you still don't have a license here they're gone before they find out yeah yeah they're just you're riding you're driving the double-decker bus through the countryside and you say by the way i don't have a license uh well it's uh you sound i mean i first of all i'd take a tour from you any day you seem like you'd be a terrific tour guide well i want to say um yourself sona and matt you're more i'd be a pleasure to take a tour you around Donegal. Next time you come to Ireland, I expect you to come here and I will drive you around. Well, I have a couple of quick questions. What are you going to show me that's the coolest thing you're going to show me on this tour? Well, probably you'll want to see Schlievele Cliffs, which are the highest accessible sea cliffs in Europe. They're here in Donegal. You'll want to go up to the most northerly point, Mallonhead, where they filmed Star Wars Episode 7. Wait a minute. What did they film there? Star Wars episodes 8 sorry 8 so is this like when Luke and Rey are kind of getting to know each other exactly so yeah the planet Act 2 I believe it's called yeah you're right where they got ports well I'll just continue on if you don't mind so and what's the name of this place Melonhead oh Melonhead was my nickname in high school so that's why I'd like I thought for a second someone who knew me in high school named a point after me. Hey melon head, get over here. Wow, that's incredible. Did you get to hang around the set while they were shooting the Star Wars installment? No, you don't want me anywhere near somewhere that should be professional at all. Oh, all right. Got it. Wow, Henry, you and I have a lot in common. I'm banned from most movie sets throughout the world. So- And theaters. Well, that's for a different reason. Okay. That was considered a perversion. That's a little different. Come on. I was wearing a raincoat. Oh, don't go with it. No, we're good. We got it. Used to be a good raincoat. Anyway. Ew! Conan, can I ask you a quick question? Yes. Is it about the raincoat? Yes. Because it can stand up on its own. Come on! My mother will be watching this, okay? Okay, go ahead. Sorry, sorry about that. I'll clean it up, Henry, apologize. No, listen there. So you, as you know, self-deprecating humor, you always run yourself down. And that's the way I would have always run my kind of, as I say, comedy to nobody. Yeah. You know, when I would be talking. Sure. Yeah. How do you then go from running yourself down to then trying to have a serious conversation? Say you had a plumber in your house who was doing a bad job and you had to try and explain to him, I want it done a certain way, but he knows you've been like wearing a dress or a dress as a cow the night before that. Right. Right. Right, right. How do you kind of... Well, whenever a plumber comes, I am in a dress just to try and catch his interest. But I will say, that's a whole different... Shooting a little movie there. Yeah, yeah. No. With the raincoat. Yeah. No, Henry, it's a good question. I am very bad at confrontation. So I not very good at telling people you know it interesting and this is true I being serious with you For just a moment I be candid I am not very good at telling someone who's doing some work for me that I would prefer it done a different way or someone cooking for me or anything like that. I'm not good at that, and I'll probably hold my tongue and let them ruin my sink or my disposal or my bathtub, whatever they're working on. Where I am able to tell people my mind is in comedy. So there I feel, I don't know what it is, but I'm very able to say, nope, nope, it needs to be slower and then this needs to speed up and then this has to happen. But that's the one area of my life where I'm very comfortable speaking my mind and my writers will attest that that's true. Yeah, I always felt like, you know, when you're making fun of yourself, other people then like to jump on and pile on you and using your own jokes against you to run you down even more. It happens sometimes. Sure. Sure, yeah. And then I just, you know, it's funny because sometimes when you're doing self-deprecating humor, other people pick up on it and so they don't even know you that well but they walk up to you and say, hey, you're a piece of shit, right? Isn't that funny? I don't think that's related. Well then why did you say it? Well, because you're a piece of shit. Okay. But anyway, I know what you mean, Henry, but for the most part, people understand where you're coming from, which is, I do have some self-worth. So not a lot, but I do have some. And the humor just, it's just, I didn't choose that sense of humor, that's just who I was. And that may come from being so Irish. I do think it is something that we do. Not all Irish people, some are very happy to be blowhards, but it was very much in my blood to have fun at my own expense. And sometimes that's just as a defense mechanism against the tall poppies. I wanna make fun of myself before anybody else cuts me down. So there's many psychological reasons. It all goes back to Ireland. Yes, yes, that's the way. Well, do you know what? It's nice to hear that you feel it as well because it's something that, I know we don't have the same type of audience when I'm talking to my friends in the pub or something like that. But it is the same. I'm telling you, it is the same. I don't think about it as being a big audience or when all those years I did my show or this podcast, I don't think of in terms of a large scale of people listening, I never have thought about it that way. I try to make people laugh the way I do one-on-one if I were in a pub. It's the same. It's exactly the same. There just happens to be a microphone here and some cameras and there's a bunch of people that listen to it, but it is really no different. Scale doesn't change it. It doesn't change it at all. It really, if you and I hung out in a pub, you'd find me just as annoying in person as I am on a podcast. I promise you that. Well, I'd love to find out for myself to see how annoying you are, because I think I'd out annoy you any day, I think. Wow. Okay. It's on. Hey, man, Henry, it's on. It is on. And I'm going to win. Very good. I'm going to win. Henry, a real delight talking to you. You seem like a very nice, funny guy. You have a great spirit. And I'm very happy that you've found your niche. You've found what you love to do. And you've got this great family. Yeah. Thank you very much. Just before I go, I just want to say once again to yourself and to everybody on Late Night. I know you've done so many things. But online now and on YouTube and everything, everybody can find a community very easily. Yeah. And away back in the 90s, you know, sometimes you felt like you were on your own. Yeah. There's a whole generation of us who discovered there are people with the same comedy tastes and the same kind of felt like they're in the fringes of society. And I just want to say thank you very much for all the years. Well, Henry, that means a lot to me that you said that. And you're funny. In a pre-internet era, it was fun to light this little fire on what felt like a lonely hill and then find out later that other people were watching it and digging it. So I just said digging it. And I'm not old enough to say that, though I'm quite old. So, Henry, thank you so much. I hope our paths cross someday. And just great to meet you, really. A real pleasure. Oh, it has been all my pleasure. Thank you so much for the opportunity. And I look forward to see you all in Donegal when you come over for a tour, okay? Okay. Yeah, a stream of bullshit from you. Take care. Thank you very much, guys. Thank you. Bye. Conan O'Brien needs a fan. with Conan O'Brien, Sonam Avsessian, and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick D'Leal, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair. Associate talent producer, Jennifer Samples. Associate producers, Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm. Engineering by Eduardo Perez. Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.