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--:-- John Bickley: As we celebrate Father's Day and recognize dads around the country, concerning data shows that America has the highest rate of fatherlessness in the world. In this episode, we talk to an expert about the importance of strong male role models in the home.
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--:-- John Bickley: I'm Daily Wire Editor-in-Chief John Bickley. It's Sunday, June 16th, and this is a special Father's Day edition of Morning Wire.
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--:-- John Bickley: Here to discuss on this Father's Day, the importance of fathers is Daily Wire senior editor Cabot Phillips.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: Hey Cabot, so this is your first time celebrating this holiday as a dad yourself. So happy Father's Day. Thank you very much.
--:-- John Bickley: I've already mastered the entire art of being a dad. Same to you as well, John.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: So right off the bat, let's talk about the concerning numbers we referenced at the top, the fatherlessness issue in America.
--:-- John Bickley: Yeah, obviously this day is about celebrating dads, so I don't want to be too much of a downer, but it is a good time, if nothing else, to remind folks of the importance of fathers in our culture.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: We'll hear from an expert on all this in a bit and have some uplifting conversation about what it takes to be a good dad. But it is important to know this is a tough day for millions of children because their father is not present in their life.
--:-- John Bickley: According to the latest data, roughly one in four children live in a home without a father present, while one third live in a home without their biological father. That is not only the highest rate of any country on earth, it's more than three times the global average.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: Now, much of that breakdown is due to a rise in children being born out of wedlock. In 1980, around 18% of kids were born out of wedlock. Today, that number is 40%. And for moms under the age of 30, it's even higher at 53%.
--:-- John Bickley: And while many women who have children out of wedlock are living with their biological father at the time of birth those relationships are more than twice as likely to ultimately fail as those in a traditional marriage.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: Altogether nearly 20 million American children now live in a home without a father present. And the outcomes for those kids, as we now know, are devastating.
--:-- John Bickley: Yeah, let's talk a little bit more about that. Walk us through the impact for children without a father in the home.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: Well, obviously there are outliers here. We all know of children raised by single mothers who go on to achieve great things and become good dads themselves. But the numbers are clear when it comes to the negative impact of those situations as a whole.
--:-- John Bickley: Whether you're looking at crime data, educational outcomes, or mental health, kids without a father around do worse, period.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes, and they're twice as likely to repeat a grade in elementary school. Fatherless children constitute 90% of homeless or runaway minors, 60% of youth suicides, 85% of the youth prison population, and 75% of adolescent patients in substance abuse centers.
--:-- John Bickley: The list goes on and on. Stunning numbers.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: Yeah. We also see a considerable uptick in abortions linked to fatherlessness. Around one in three pregnancies in a fatherless home and an abortion. That is about 50% higher than the national average.
--:-- John Bickley: And it's worth noting, nearly all of those disparities are seen across all income brackets. So while kids in a home without a father are more likely to be living in poverty, even those in wealthy households are still far more likely to fall into these categories.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: For more on this topic, I spoke with Brian Slipka, an entrepreneur and the author of Winsome, Five Proven Life Strategies to Win in Relationships.
--:-- Brian Slipka: The brutal truth is that there's 72 million or more fathers across this country and almost 18 million children in America live without a father in the home. And so when you think about the impact of that and you play it forward throughout a generation, and then you think about the decisions they as future adults will start to make and that sort of thing, you can start to see the cascading impact and the peril around it.
--:-- John Bickley: [unidentified host]: If we can solve the fatherlessness problem in America, we're going to have a cascading favorable effect and impact on society as a whole because the statistics do not lie.
--:-- Brian Slipka: It will result in an indisputable reduction in crime and high school graduation rates improving reduced mental health and behavioral issues. And so think about that for a second, how powerful that is.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: What is your message to young men who at this point in their life might be scared by the prospect of fatherhood and view it as a burden or view it as daunting, what would you say to those people?
--:-- Brian Slipka: Oh boy, I mean fatherhood is one of the greatest earthly benefits and rewards that men in our society can experience and realize. And so while the perils of the short term or the short term strife or adversity of supporting and helping raise young kids and children can be difficult at times, the long term realization and benefits is so far out, you know, overwhelmingly return on investment.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: Right? And so that's the business guy in me talking, by the way. But there is such a strong effect. And it's really not just oneself, it's all of society.
--:-- Brian Slipka: Now, what advice would you have for the millions of Americans who might have frayed father-child relationships and have a hard time when Father's Day rolls around every year?
--:-- Cabot Phillips: So Cabot, you know, in the book Winsome that I recently authored, we talk about the five-tool framework for really building deeper, more personal relationships. And so when we think about Father's Day that we're all experiencing, let's use this as a rallying event, as a compelling event to build deeper, more lasting, impactful relationships.
--:-- Brian Slipka: And the method to be able to do that is really to seek more of a win-win environment. I think so often in relationships, and I think we all can emphasize, if you're a son or you're a grandfather or you're a father that has some strife with, you know, whether it be your father or be your son or daughter, I think one of the most powerful things that you can do is surrender selfish ambition.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: Surrender selfish ambition, surrender a win-lose mindset, and focus on more of a win-win, on a relational dynamic that surrenders discord, surrenders the strife elements, and most importantly, surrenders your selfish ambition or desires.
--:-- Brian Slipka: It's really easy to say like all the baggage of the past gets carried into the today's moment. And if we can surrender that as a society, as we approach this year's Father's Day, I think we're gonna have a really good heart for serving and advancing deeper relationships. And that's what's so exciting about this opportunity.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: You're big on the responsibility that dads have to be present in the life of their kids. And I think we all know being present doesn't just mean being in the room with them. I'm a new father. I have a three-month-old. And I know being present doesn't just mean, oh, he's sitting next to me.
--:-- Brian Slipka: Boy, and that's easier said than done, right? You know, I wrote this book, Winsome, frankly, because I'm a mild version of the protagonist in the story and in the book, Sam Masterson. And it was basically me failing at what you just asked, right? It was me not being present in the moment.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: I may have been present physically, but I wasn't there mentally or emotionally.
--:-- Brian Slipka: And I think the visual that folks can really think about as they think about being present this Father Day is this triangle right Mental emotional and physical.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: And I would even submit that physical is probably the least important If you mentally and emotionally present even though you aren't physically there, if you're fully engaged, you build in a relationship.
--:-- Brian Slipka: And so I think that's a good visual for all of us as we enter Father's Day. Are you present mentally, emotionally, and physically this Father's Day? And if you can really surrender, surrender all your other thoughts and feelings and emotions and really, really check the boxes on those three, you're going to have a profound Father's Day and it's going to be, it's going to be a good one.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: I want to close with a powerful question that your father asked you that in your words, it really led you to reassess your priorities in life. Tell us that story and the impact it had on you.
--:-- Brian Slipka: So I'll try to keep it really brief. But when my father was dying of cancer 11 years ago, on his deathbed, I was visiting one workday over lunch. And I had a frustrating day professionally. And I showed up and spoke to him and saw how he was doing and all that sort of thing.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: But then I went on to rant about my issues of the day, my selfish frustrations with, in this case, professional stuff.
--:-- Brian Slipka: And he stopped me about face knowing he was really two weeks away or so from passing away. and he said, Brian, I'm going to be leaving this world in a couple of weeks. I'm going to be gone. You got a lot going on for you. You got personal and professional success. You got a great wife, great kids. You're a great father, all this stuff. However, what on earth are you chasing? What on earth are you chasing?
--:-- Cabot Phillips: And so I think it was an about face for me personally. And one of the reasons why I wrote the book, Winsome, is to really realize that what matters is the personal relationships and the head and heart around building personal relationships, deeper, more meaningful relationships that I was failing in at the time.
--:-- Brian Slipka: Because we can pursue all of these other selfish ambitions, things that benefit us, benefit our, you know, whatever it might be. It might be social media followers. It might be success, fame, fortune, you know, financial gains, all that stuff. Personally, that all may sound well and good, but what we're going to ultimately realize is that's very shallow and empty.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: What was truly fulfilling, especially as we approach this Father's Day, is the relationships that you carry with you and that you can build deeper, deeper, and deeper every day.
--:-- Brian Slipka: And so that's really the point of my dad's challenge to me is what on earth are you chasing? And that's really when we all are about to leave this world, what we're going to reflect most deeply on.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: A very profound, important message, Brian. We will leave it there. Thanks so much for your time.
--:-- Cabot Phillips: That was Daily Wire senior editor Cabot Phillips talking with author and entrepreneur Brian Slipka. And this has been a special Father's Day edition of Morning Wire.
