Drake’s Mystery Shoulder, Super Bowl Propalooza, and a Mega-Parent Corner With Cousin Sal and Jimmy Kimmel

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Sure, they're both captains. but who's going to run your offense? You wouldn't settle for just anything for your team. So don't settle for just any insurance. When it comes to getting the help you need, State Farm is the real deal. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. All right. We're live here on Netflix. I'm Bill Simmons. That's cousin Sal. You can also get this podcast on the ringer podcast network and on spotify um we're going live against the grammys there's a nicks lakers game we don't care we just we have so many props we want to get to um plus the faster we get this up the faster it's just on netflix you did this on hbo didn't you learn you're right you're right yeah there's a lot listen this is what people want to see we have um i have i only have like we can do this fast i only have like 93 94 props written down so We can just blow through it. How many do you have? I have less and I can wait to go through all them I want to talk about this weekend though because it was our first weekend without football in a while which always makes you sad I feel like everybody is getting better at scheduling stuff now Like yesterday we had, there was a Charlotte San Antonio game on like in the morning, West coast time. Right. There was Royal rumble live from Riyadh. Then we had UFC and we had boxing and we had more basketball. and it was like this awesome sports day because I think all the smart people now who run this stuff are like, hey, here's a dead day. There's no football. And plus there was golf. So I actually didn't miss the football that much this weekend. You think the sports gods were saying, oh, look, we can do this. Let's band together. We could figure this out by doing it. I think everybody's getting better at figuring out what the weekends are to exploit. Like, I don't think it was an accident that all that stuff was yesterday because that's a dead weekend. We're going to the Super Bowl next weekend. You know, I don't know that we're going to be so lucky every week to see a boxer get his toupee knocked off his scalp. I mean, that's exciting. If that happens every week, sure, I'll get through the offseason. Fine. I didn't love the Royal Rumble. I don't know how much you want to talk about it. I didn't love it so early in the day. It ruined my family. We do a pool. We all get together, and they had sports, so it was tough. There was no way that we're going to go without finding out who won six hours. It's the one wrestling thing I would not give to a country that's far away. Yes. Because I feel like the people coming out, I love the reactions of whatever arena or stadium we're in in America. I also think that they didn't have the, they didn't have like the, the wacky nostalgia people, you know, we didn't have like the doink the clown type of weirdo stuff. We only had some iguana guy. So yeah, it just, it felt like the energy was a little different. That's the fun, the iguana guy. You pick the iguana guy. You have him 18. It's like, ah, you point to whoever picked him. You're not going to win this. And listen, don't get me wrong. I love Saudi Arabia. Love it. But I just, you're right. And it was too many. Yes, they should have more old timers in there. Now they've been replaced with like sister promotion guys with masks. Even our good friend, Gus, I think he was my friend first, didn't recognize a lot of the songs. Well, there was like five bodybuilder guys came out. And they all kind of had the same body. I'm like, is this the new trend now? These guys come out and they're jacked. And one of the guys came out, they said his name was like Powerhouse Hobbs or something but it not his name anymore And now his name is this And I was like I didn know who Powerhouse Hobbes was either Yeah They had to keep going back and forth to what they were formerly known as Yeah So the guy has two identities This isn't Prince. I mean, to me, it's like, just bring Hornswoggle out there. He's delightful. He's a small guy, right? You're good for a half dozen laughs. Probably don't have to pay him that much. I don't, maybe they're afraid of little people in Saudi Arabia. I have no idea, but that guy should be, he should be on every Royal rumble. It is the Royal rumble is the best when you're in college and you have a bunch of people and everybody draws the numbers and then somebody shitty comes out. It's the funniest thing ever. And then the other time it's super funny. And we've had it with both of our kids, with our sons who, you know, they, they have like four numbers and they're all excited. Their guy's coming out. And then it's like the iguana guy. I remember my son throwing like some of the biggest tantrums of his life because he wasn't happy. I was telling him about it yesterday because we're just watching. It's like, what's up with this iguana guy? And I was like, 12 years ago, you would have been in my mind. The Royal Rumble is responsible for probably 25% of the tears in this house for the last three decades. Well, speaking of tears, we're going to do Super Bowl props. And then a little later, we have some NBA future stuff. And then we have a very special parent corner with a special guest. Yeah. Speaking of tears, I've spent the entire week. My guard was like, we did the pod last week. Didn't know anything about Drake Banshilder. Monday, Tuesday, I'm like, it's gotta be nothing. Then he missed a couple of practices. Then they were a little dodgy in the press conferences for the most part. This is all my text threads. These are all my conversations. This is everything I talked to my dad about. We don't even talk about the NBA trade deadline. We just talk about Drake Mayshoulder. I have some little information that I found out. I have lots of thoughts, but I mentioned this because I think it makes it really hard to figure out the Superbowl props because I don't know if he's a little bit injured. If this is a red herring, he's not injured at all. Is he more injured than they're letting on? We just found out that Josh Allen played with a broken foot for like five weeks and they just didn't tell us. So if he has like sprained shoulder and they're like, well, we're going to check it in a week. It should be fine. Right. That's I could live with that. If it's partial tear in the labrum and he can throw it and we have to shoot it up. Now I'm worried. So I I I was doing these props and I like I have no idea if my QB can wing the ball or not Listen I think you know the Bruce shoulder or whatever he had like what he got sick this week too had some kind of tummy ache or something. He's, he's- Did he get sick or was it like a little, they didn't want to have him throw the ball this week and they're like, you're sick. This is, he's just obviously looking to bail on this game. I think the lights are way too bright, right? Drake maybe. Like Drake maybe. Try to tell us in other ways by fumbling six times over the last three weeks. Just let him step aside. He brought you to the playoffs. He did a good job. No, I don't know how serious to take this because it was all oblique, oblique, oblique for Sam Darnold, and then it ended up being nothing. So I think that's what most people are going off of like, all right, until it's a big deal, until we see it, it's not a big deal. Meanwhile, I have Dr. Chow texting me, is Bill mad at me? I don't want him to be mad at me. I was like, pull yourself together. Dr. Chow is the Woodward and Bernstein of this. He was immediately on it with the video clip. He's like, find out if he's mad at me. I'm like, you're a doctor. Pull yourself together. My goodness. Come on, Dr. Chow. Look, I've watched it a bunch of times. I've been watching. So even today, they land the plane. Drake was carrying his bag with his right hand down the plane thing. I'm like, good sign. Carrying the bag with the right hand. Watching the fist pump he did after the winning scramble in the Denver game. Did that with the right arm. So maybe it's okay. I will say though that like the you know I have some tentacles out there and the Patriots it was a little bit of an off week a lot of them were at the Celtic game on Friday for instance they've been around and when people ask them is Drake okay he's gonna be fine right you figure there's like three ways to answer that question right if this was Sal it's like is Sal gonna be on the pod today I'm like he's fine he'll definitely be on right or you answer it like no no he's playing. And if that's the answer, that makes me nervous. That's what they said? He's fine. He'll be guns blazing on Sunday. It's more like, no, he's playing. Interesting. I just don't trust it, Sal. It's making me really nervous. Yeah, I might be overthinking it. We've had a whole week, but it is his throwing shoulder. They asked Rabel, how do you feel? Are you worried about the whatever? Like, are you worried about the whatever? And he was like, not much. Nobody has just definitively said he's going to be fine. Right. I don't know what to say. I just, look, you should be, you should have to play with the backup after all this nonsense, playing the schedule. Well, if we have Josh Debs. 13 of 17 teams who games, teams fired their coach. Like, well, you don't think you have a chance unless May plays this game? I don't think we have a chance. It does explain a couple of his throws in the fourth quarter, though, if his shoulder was a little banged up. Cause there was a specifically one in the, he's always gotten better as these games go along all year. Right. It was one throw over the middle that he kind of bounced in the, after he took that hit, which was like with two minutes left in the third quarter. And that was the one that I look back on. I'm like, oh man, like, so maybe shoulder sprain, maybe they need a week. Maybe there'll be, maybe on Wednesday it'll be like his shoulders fine. And if he's fine, I'm going over on a bunch of like 20 and a half completions. I can't wait to see how many overs you go with him now. Well, that, but that's, I don't know if he's healthy or not, but if he is healthy, when you think we did this once, it was one of the Brady Superbowls against Seattle. We both love the completions, the over. Cause we were like Seattle, they play safeties back. You got to dink and dunk and pick them apart. It's going to be a lot of completions for Brady. And I think that would be the recipe for the Pats, right? Just six yards, five yards, try to move the ball, keep the ball. And he would have like 25 completions, but if he's not healthy, I wouldn't want to bet that now. Right, but I don't know. Do you think, so let's say he's playing. Let's say he's playing for sure. He's definitely playing. Right, so what information is actually going to get out between now and, you know, the anthem? Like, probably none, as long as he's playing, right? It's like you said, afterwards we'll find out. Afterwards we found out about Josh Allen, right? This is kind of... But you can't hide during Super Bowl week. No, I'm just saying there's points where you have to practice in front of people. It's fine. I'm just saying his completion number is not going to move between now and then, right? But can he throw the deep ball? He's been great on deep balls. You can throw the deep ball in Seattle. How much scrambling is he going to do? Right. I think part of the problem, I don't think it was just that one hit. I think he took a shitload of hits over three weeks, right? Sure. Sacked 15 times, which is, I think, a record for the first three rounds. It's great. He got hit a whole bunch of other times where he got rid of the ball on time. And then he scrambled. I think he had 14 carries and took hits on that too. So it might've been an accumulation thing. That's what scares me probably the most. Well your excuse is pretty well set now I will say you good to go These aren excuses The line hasn moved The best thing that I feel the best about is the line has not budged from four and a half If it started creeping up to five, five and a half, I would get really nervous. Can I ask you, this is exactly what I wanted to ask you. Like which trends scare you? Which give you hope? Which do you immediately write off as inconsequential? I'm going to read, I'm going to read a few. You tell me if you're talking to gambling trends or football. I'll read, I'll read these favorites. four and a half or higher, one in 10 against the spread the last 11 Super Bowls. I love that one. That made me feel great. Yeah. Okay. You love it. Underdogs have won three straight Super Bowls outright and covered five straight Super Bowls and are 15-7 against the spread in the last 22 years. It also sounds wonderful. You like that? Yeah. Okay. Pats in white jerseys, which they'll be wearing on Sunday, five and O straight up this season. White jerseys, 16 and five in the last 21 Super Bowls. I was happy about that as well. You liked that. All right, here's one. No starting quarterback with a name less than five letters long has won a Super Bowl. Starting quarterbacks whose first and last name end in the same letter are 0 and 6 in Super Bowls since the AFC was formed. Starting quarterbacks with the initials DM are 0 and 2 in the Super Bowl. Dan Marino, Donovan McNabb. What was the first name one? There's been quarterbacks with... Five letters long? What about Jalen Hurts? H-U-R-T-S. No starting quarterback with a last name less than five. Oh, last name. Yeah, last name less than five. Here's the thing with Drake May is his name is now one name. Oh, yes. He's like Madonna. Drake May is his name. Nobody calls him Drake. Nobody calls him. Has one person called him May ever in 2025 or 26? You know what? That's true. I took a lot of crap. But if he actually changed his name to maybe, then he's got the five letters and you got the, now he is in company. How about this? Just like which celebrity or influencers bet gives you the most comfort. Like Drake, the rapper, if he bet a million on Seattle, he's number one. The other Drake going big on Seattle. Yes. Combined with Adam Carolla. Also betting on Seattle would be my two, my two most exciting things. Stephen A saying they don't have a shot. That's pretty good. He'll take that. Stephen A saying he could see Seattle winning 60 to nothing. made me feel really good. Yeah. I liked there was some graphic of all the ESPN people and everyone had Seattle. I felt great about that. Yeah. I think that Seattle fans are a little nervous um about the fact that they the favorites and you know they even like in week 18 they were minus one and a half against the Niners right People are like are we sure Like in the Niners had like half a team and it wasn't really until, I don't know, were they even, did they even have their respect in the Rams game? What did the Rams line end up? Not really. I mean, that would have been. It was under three, right? Yep. Yeah. It was two and a half, two and a half, three and a half. Yeah. Jumped around there. Yep. It's funny because their defense is obviously really good, but it's not, it's not like the defense when we've seen defenses just win a Superbowl, like the, like our favorite example, the 2000 Ravens. I think the Seahawks Broncos Superbowl is a good one. There's been a couple where the defense just crushed it. Yeah. The Seahawks don't get like a ton of sacks. Like I was going through their box scores to let, like they had like one sack again in the Rams. Like they'll get pressure. They're good at like, then don't break. They're good at getting stops. But they're not like overrunning you the way like I think the Texans would or something. Stafford had their number, you know. He threw it on them the whole game. They did. He definitely did. So you got to keep that going. And Kendall Jenner has a million dollars on the Patriots. In a way, that's good, I think. Yeah, everything she touches. I don't want to mention this for too long, but the thing that made me the most nervous was Kraft being in a certain set of emails. Oh, I saw that. Over the weekend. I didn't really like that that much. Okay. That was tough. Yeah. It was a couple of tough craft moments in the last week where he's become the family patriarch that you're just worried the entire Thanksgiving, something bad's going to happen. Right. Oh no, we just got to give one more hour with grandpa before we keep moving. Yeah. It's amazing how many people, first of all, the question I get asked the most is why aren't going, which I've already explained. Yeah. And people are really dumbfounded for the most part in person when I tell them, yeah, I can't go. And here's why. And they're just like, I just can't believe you wouldn't go. But I don't think people understand what it's like to watch your team lose at the Super Bowl. No. And it's just not worth it for me. I get it. I definitely get it. But is this really going to continue for the rest of your life? Like, let's say Drake maybe is just outstanding and you are a nine point favorite at some point to win the super bowl six years from now. I think it is. They the only the only thing that could flip it is if my son got really into the Pats I say which hasn happened yet but if all of a sudden like this is happening to a couple of my friends actually have kids around Ben's age or younger where their kids have really gotten into it. Wilds was on the podcast Thursday talking about it. Yeah. And I think if it's your kid and they want to go, I think that would flip it. That's fair. But that's fair. I limping out of those two giants games. I'm still think about it. It's way up there. Yeah. It's really bad. No, it's easier to be home. I don't mean to rub it in because your team hasn't been in. I know you were there. I saw them win the Super Bowl against the Steelers. And it was not satisfying because I picked the over-under wrong. So what are you going to do? How do we feel about the over... Before we go into the props, how do we feel about the actual over-under and all that stuff? Like just the line staying at four and a half. And then the over... What is it? 45 and a half now? 45 and a half. Yeah, it was 46 and a half. than that, but it's been 45 and a half for solid four days now. So how do we feel about that? You know, I think it's like we've seen enough Super Bowl. I think it's too low. And I think like we've seen Super Bowls get out of hand, right? Sometimes they get out of hand early. But I feel like I was looking at this. This is one of my plays. They're number one and number two in explosive play margins, right? And that's basically explosive play offense versus allowed on defense. So you might say, yeah, the defense is good at stopping these. But if you throw in the fact that there's a Super Bowl, there's nervousness, there's trick plays that aren't left in the tank, right? Because you either use them now or you don't use them. There's no bad weather to consider. I really think that 45 and a half number could be off. Like two of the last three years, we saw 62 and 73. You know, I just, and you know, that last time they played, it was 52. Should have been more if not for that fluky Malcolm Butler play. So I think it's a little low. I think you'd take an adjusted over. You know, it's weird. if this was a championship weekend game, so it was like the AFC title or an FC title game. Yeah. I would think it's going to be like 40 or 35, 37.5, something like that. Like a defensive struggle and both teams like trying to have long drives. You're so right. Like the super bowl, something about it just, just makes it just plugs the game into the walking machine. Yeah. And all bets are off and you get the one stupid play. There's always the chance somebody can run it up. I was watching, they were showing Super Bowls all week and I was watching the, the, uh, Seattle Denver game, ironically, that I forgot two weeks ago. How'd you like it for the first time? I was watching, they were showing Super Bowls all week and I was watching the, the Seattle-Denver I was watching, they were showing Super Bowls all week and I was watching the, the Seattle-Denver game, ironically, that I forgot two weeks ago. How'd you like it for the first time? Well, I forgot it started with a safety. Yeah. And it was like five nothing at one point and it was just really ugly, but then they eventually grew the weed. But then the other version of that was the Denver game when they beat, I think it was Carolina 24 to 10. Yeah. And it was just kind of ugly and it just, and I wonder if that's going to be this game. I know I hear your point on the explosive plays, but if, if Drake's not a hundred percent, I don't know how the Pats get to 24 and up. We could be due for that. What was it? Rams. It was Rams Patriots, right? When there was like no scoring forever. And yeah, three, three with 10 minutes left. Yeah. Unreal. Yeah. I hope it's not that, I mean, I don't need it to be 52, 48, but let's see each team score a couple of touchdowns here. Well, cause there's a couple of variables too. Cause we mentioned Drake shoulder, The Seahawks are really down to one running back. And that guy they played as the backup did nothing. And I don't think they feel great about him. But they're not going to have the same pass protection. You know, they have one and a half receivers. Barner's fine. But there's a chance, like, with the way the Pats defense, and the Pats defense, by all the advanced metrics, everything has been awesome now for, like, six, seven weeks. Maybe it'll be hard for them to score. I was wondering, like, that Seahawks-Niners game, week 18, I think the final score was 13-3. There was a lot of settling for field goals and a lot of choppiness. It felt like the entire game was in the middle of the field. That could be that, too. Could be. I mean, that's when FanDuel cleans up, right? Because all the props, everything's leaning towards overs. Speaking of FanDuel, shout out to FanDuel Canada because sometimes in the American sites, it's harder to find all the bets. FanDuel Canada was crushing it. We were passing it. What did they have it on? Like Wednesday, they had everything. It's unbelievable. They had national anthem bets. We really know how to do it in Canada. I think you and I move there. The Southwest go to Ontario. Like, let's just fly out there. I'll get it. I'll spring for a boarding class tickets if we want. Canada's ready to roll. Speaking of Fandle, we're going to take a break and we're going to come back. And it is officially proper. Let's do it. The Bill Simmons podcast is presented by Fandle. 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All right, so before we get to the props, you mentioned how the underdogs are 15 and seven against the spread since 2004 and I've covered five straight. Yeah. Did we realize that trend was happening at any point during the Super Bowl runs when we were making picks? Because 15 and seven, I was actually surprised that that was the number. and maybe I have amnesia. I don't remember. 14 and seven would have been nice. 13 and seven. The problem is like when the chiefs are staring at us as favorites a lot of those years. So what are we going to do? Yeah. And the Pats. And the Pats were the masters of winning, but not covering a bunch of those. All right. Super Bowl props. We've been doing this. First time we did it was the, I think it was the Pats Giants, the first one. Right? Yeah. Because I had my podcast for ESPN in 07 at that point. yeah so I think this is our that worked well that would be our 19th Super Bowl this would be our 19th Super Bowl prophecy yeah do you want to do the novelty ones first that we talked about in Canada or go serious and then we get goofy Yep Yep So Drake May Drake May related stuff We mentioned the 20 and a half completions over plus 108. Mentioned the 50 plus rush yards, two to one. The interceptions minus 138, which I think my, I hate to say it, but it might be the best one either way. If he's healthy, he's going to be throwing the ball a lot. Every, every round he's either had a pick or it seems like he should add a pick. If he's not healthy and his shoulder isn't great, then that might happen too. Darnold is minus 128 for interception. I haven't seen a bet, have you, where you could bet on both guys to throw a pick? I did. What are the odds on that? Plus 200. I like that. All right. So we're going to mark that one down, right? So you like the double pick plus 200? Yeah, it's weird because each quarterback two interceptions is only plus 300. So both teams' interception is nice value there. Yeah, the two plus picks is three to one. Yeah. Okay. All right. So we'll get to that. Let's do one, do MVP first or touchdowns first? Let's do MVP. Let's work. Okay. We already know the result. So there was a great bet for this that I think we talked about on Ringer Gambling Show on at least one of our shows with JSN a few weeks ago. I think Raheem was on that. I forget who else, but I want to say it was like 18 to one before they played a playoff game. and the analogy was like Edelman, Cooper Cup, like sometimes a receiver can kind of own the game. He's really the only receiver that those odds have dropped. So he is in the game. He is now what? Five to one. Is it now? JSN is plus 550. I'm saying. Right. Two favorites are Dono plus 115 and maybe plus 230. Okay. So if you had to bet, so important note for the, for the young aspiring gamblers and people who are going to parties this week, I want to make bets. We're not saying who we think is going to win the MVP necessarily. We're just saying, what is the best value that we're looking at this? Like, Oh wow. That those are the odds. I like it. So what's your favorite? All right. I'm saying both. Actually, I'm saying this is the best value. And I'm saying, this is who's going to win MVP. And you could go MVP, any other position or quarterback, any other positions, plus two, 10 quarterbacks minus two 60. I'm done. I'm done. Simmons. Like, I know this is a boring pick but I going quarterback I know it a giant number but if I had a bet on exactly one thing the whole game it would be that a quarterback going to be MVP Three in a row three Super Bowls in a row 12 out of the last 16 This is becoming like the regular season MVP, where it almost has to be a quarterback. I mean, so what are the odds? It's minus 260. It sucks. And I'm just saying everything else is a sucker bet. Like, I like Cooper Cup at 100 to 1. That's ridiculous. That's way too high. If you want to play some of the fun ones, you'll probably throw out a few defensive players. But honestly, once it gets to like 21, 18, 21, 17, they're going to give it to a quarterback. And, you know, it could be where JSN has three touchdowns and nobody else does anything. Then you have to kind of give it to them. But that's like the only scenario where anyone other than a quarterback gets it in a big offensive game, I think. Yeah, but why wouldn't you pick the team you think is going to win and then just either bet Darnold plus 115 or plus 230? You could do that. You could do that. Or you could just sit back for three and a half, four hours and win. But you have more. Cup is my long shot. What do you like? I'm sure you have some good ones to throw. I thought Ramondre at 30 to one was pretty interesting. I just thought that line was really high. And especially if Drake isn't 100% healthy, I just think they're going to try to run or bust. I actually really liked how the Rams ran the ball last week. I think Coram and Williams, I think they were like over four yards of carry. but I felt like they were moving the ball and the problem was they fell behind. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the holes were there too. Um, so I liked that one a little bit. I think for the wild cards, I mean, honestly, it's Travion, Travion at one 25 to one jumped out at me too. Yeah. Because, and he has been done nothing for a while, but there was a, I'm going to give a reader named John P sent this tweet along. It's from a tweet. somebody named Pete Collins did. And it was about how Travion Henderson has been crushing split safety looks this year. Oh. 68 carries, 319 yards, two TDs, almost five yards a carry. Best in the league among qualified running backs. New England barely saw two high shells on offense. Seattle is the highest rate of two high shells. And they've allowed 5.0 yards per carry against them. And the reason I was thinking Henderson was sometimes the big ass run can like just, Like if it's like a 20 to 10 win and he has like a 78 yard touchdown run and runs for a hundred yards. I just thought those odds were crazy. So he's had two and runs for a hundred yards. it's like a 20 to 10 win and he has like a 78 yard touchdown run and runs for a hundred yards. I just thought those odds were crazy. So he's had two and this plays to another bet I had with him that I thought was interesting, uh, for a running thing, 70 plus rush yards for him is 14 to one, 80 plus. These are all in Fando. 80 plus yards is 25 to one. He's had a 65 yarder and a 69 yard run this year. Yep. Twice. So two in 20 games for them, 10% of the time he's busted one. This is the kind of defense that he's busted. So you're betting 10% of the time he does this, but I'm getting 25 to one odds at 80 plus yards. That's what it is for 80. All right. That's better than the one I wrote down. As long as we're giving love to Travion, I had most rushing yards for Henderson at, at plus 2000. So this makes more, But the 80 plus makes more sense because then that would be like a 65 yard run and he would get like a five and a 10 or whatever. And he would get it. So, so yeah, I had him down. And then for the, the other one is just Marcus Jones. So do you know how many TDs Marcus Jones has this year? How many? No, I don't know this one. He has four. Does he have that many? He has two defensive interceptions and two special teams touchdowns. And he's like an awesome kick returner. Right. And I was thinking like, what if he, what if he had a kick return touchdown? And then what if, what if he had a kick return touchdown and a defensive touchdown? Or would it be the kick return in an interception? But the odds are like nuts for him. They are, I can't even find them. Is it plus, is 125 to one? Is that what I'm looking at? Yeah, I think, I think that's what it is. Ernest Jones. Is that what you said? Yeah. No, Marcus Jones. Marcus is a hundred to one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so it's like, if they play this game 50 times, is there one version of this game where he busts a kick return touchdown and gets a pick? Yeah. And if he gets a pick, he's dangerous. You see, this is what I didn't want to do. I was all set on quarterbacks, and now you're going to make me bet six of these, including Jason Myers and all this other nonsense. But you have to do it. It's the last game. I think the single best bet to me is JSN. I just think for value. Yeah, 550 because odds are he's 10 for 125 with a touchdown. If he gets two touchdowns, he locks it. And we also have really good history of multi I was looking at the multi game history Right And there some good ones like Cooper cup was one of them right We were at that Cooper cup. So in the last 10 years, Jalen Hurts had the three touchdowns. So he doesn't count because they were running, but 22 cup had to 21 Gronk had to for Tampa 20. Uh, Williams had two. He's a running back. 18, Gronk had two, and then 17, James White had three, and I think two of them were catches. Because I was looking at, I think the two plus TD bet is, we get great odds on that. Raheem's always loved that one. Yep. That's a fun one. I was trying to figure out who the best two plus TD bet guy would be, and it's got to be him. That's JSN for sure. Yeah. It's plus 650 that he gets two TDs, so you can do that instead of the MVP bet, because if he gets two TDs, he's probably one MVP. But he might not. Yeah, I see. Yeah, I just, the only thing is you got to get, for the MVP, you probably, all those guys you listed, how many receptions? Seven? Yeah, you have to go. It can't be two one-yard touchdown catches and nothing else, right? No, you got to be nine for over 100, seven, eight, nine catches for 110, 140 yards. And you need at least one TD, probably two. If it's a higher scoring game, I think you need two. Lower scoring game, you need one. I mean, Kopp had a bunch of catches. Andrew, pass interferences towards the end, like three of them in that last drive or next to the last drive against Cincinnati. Well, that's part of my question with Darnold when you talk about how he's a lock. You think the QBs are the best bet. There's probably going to be some pass interference yards, which is always weird for these MVP things. I'm just telling you now, Carlton Davis is going to get a pass interference in this game. I don't know if you can bet on it on FanDuel, but I would bet on that. He'll be a rollercoaster ride this whole game. He's top four in drawing pass interference calls and the receivers in the league. Right. So he gets a 35-yard pass interference. It counts for nobody. It counts for neither Darnold or JSN on that one. And then the only other one, it's like if it's a Seattle defense goes nuts game, that's probably Lawrence at that point. Yeah. He's what, 100? Yeah. Speaking of that, I mean, I'm sure everybody has this, but him for the one sack at plus 122, I think that a put in bold That moved around a lot already this week It dropped from like plus 145 to plus 120 range right yeah i don know i don know so what are we gonna do we gonna take like six of these i think the best bet is jsn but i also like the marcus jones one i think those are my two favorites all right i'm gonna do you like remandre at 30 to one or no yeah i mean i like i i get it that that's the kind of game it would have to be. I think your guys' passing would have to be short passes the whole time. May wouldn't be able to put up big numbers, but I don't know if he could win a game like that. I'm urging people to bet $2.6 million to win $1 million on a quarterback to win this MVP. So if the Patriots win, I think May is going to be the MVP because that would mean he played well and he carried them for some reason. If Seattle wins, I don't think that means Darnold is the MVP. That's true. I think you can, to me, that would be 50-50 at that point. Like in the NFC title game, he definitely would have won MVP. Right. Even though JSN was awesome in that game, but Darnold was like 350 and didn't have a pick. But if you see a Kenneth Walker rushing touchdown, then you see a JSN receiving touchdown, then the needle moves to Darnold, right? Because it's not one player dominating. So usually the quarterback. All right. Touchdown stuff. Your favorite touchdown. You can go anytime touchdown, multiple touchdowns, first touchdown. What was your single favorite one? Let me see. Hold on. I got to find it. Cardi B. I got all this stuff. All right. All right. Well, first of all, under one and a half yards, shortest touchdown, minus 138. Little juicy there. It's a Brother Bryce special. It's hit five of the last six. It's hit 22 of the last 32. It really should be about minus 180, 185, but it's minus 138. You talked about it. The PI calls in the end zone, puts the ball right at the one. We see it all the time. We saw it a bunch of times with Hurts, obviously, but under one and a half. I like Kup to score the first touch and at plus 1,300 and to score at plus 260. I'll find some more. Go ahead. What do you have? Kup, 1,300 for first? Yeah. And then what was the other one? Plus 260 that he scores anytime. All right. This is my favorite. This might be my single favorite bet. Barner to get a touchdown is plus 1230 Um I think that what it is but he 12 to one Oh plus 230 Sorry Is that what it is now Just any touchdown? Anytime. Anytime touchdown is what? Is it plus 230 or no? That's going to be higher than that. I think I had a typo. I'm sorry, America. Plus 230. Anytime plus 230. Yeah. Yeah. Plus 230. First touchdown is 12 to one. two touchdowns is 20 to one. Here's the case for Barner. Not only I see their tight end, so he might be able to get like the first and goal from the five touchdown. He's now their, their tush push short yardage guy because Charbonnet got hurt. And that's a recent development. So any fourth and one he's coming in or any first down and goal from the one, like you talk about the brother Bryce special, Barner is going to be in the game, right? Anything one yard and in he's in and I had the plus two 30. I think, I think that's amazing value. I kind of can't believe it's not higher because I could also get a pass with him too. Right. But I like the 20 to one two for two TDs. All right. I'm writing that down. I don't necessarily like him for MVP because I don't think he'll have enough catches. Cause he's usually like a two for 15, three for 20 guy, but he might catch a five yard touchdown and run for another one and then run for another first down. Any fourth and one, third and one, goal line and one, he's going to be with the ball. That's their tush push guy. But can we talk about how ridiculous plus 230 is for any time touchdown? Barner, when there's JSN, there's Diggs, there's the quarterbacks who can run it in, there's Kenneth Walker. Come on. We can move these up to more than plus 230. Well, so Drake's plus 290. JSN's minus 110. this is for any time. Marcus Jones is 22 to 1 for a TD. I just want to bring him up again. The New England defense is plus 850. The New England defense is 40 to 1 for the first TD. Wow. And I bring that up for this reason, cuz. Cuz. Who led the league in turnovers this year? The Seahawks, right? What quarterback? Oh, Darnold at 14 interceptions. Did he also fumble combined? Sam Darnold had 20 turnovers this year. He had the most turnovers in the league. The number two guy was Geno Smith at 18, and the number three guy was Tua Tagliabuella at I think 15. Sam Darnold had the most turnovers in the league. The number two guy was in the league. The number two guy was Gino Smith at 18, and the number three guy was Tua Tagliabuella at, I think, 15. Sam Darnold had the most turnovers in the league. In the league! And up until week 18, San Francisco, everybody's like, I don't know. Was San Francisco one and a half point favorites on the road, missing half their team. We were like, I don't know if Sam Darnold gets to the playoffs. I don't know. Looked really good against the Rams. Sam Darnold, I trust him completely. Are you sure? We've seen him flame out in these games. No, I think he throws one for sure. What did we talk about? Plus 200 for both to throw one up? It's a long game. I agree. So a pick six, basically, New England D, could also be a fumble recovery or strip sack, plus 850. But that first touchdown, 40 to 1. That's fun. That's a fun one. I had a combination here. Diggs and Walker first touchdown. because there's like a million combinations offered on Fandle. But if you like the idea that Diggs is going to score and KW3. See, I feel like you did this a couple years ago. It didn't work? It seemed great on paper and then it didn't work. Are you saying I offered a Super Bowl prop and it didn't come to fruition? No, I mean, there was a year. There was a year where you were like, these are great. You get this guy or this guy. I know, but this guy or this guy gives you a couple odds. Then, you know, if you have Diggs first touchdown. So Diggs or JSN. And Seattle's at the eight-yard line, you're kind of screwed, right? And then Tonga gets the first touchdown. Diggs or Walker, first touchdown plus 260. Fine, I'm just saying there are a lot of fun combinations out there. So what was your favorite combination? Diggs-Walker. Your boy, Stefan, it's plus 260 that either one of those is the first touchdown. I have my favorite long shot for this. If this is your Gary Russell bet, I apologize in advance. Don't do it. It won't be. Does your Gary Russell bet, is it the last name begins with a T? No. Okay. Tonga for a touchdown is 75 to one. Okay. This is something the Patriots have been doing last few games. They bring in this huge defensive tackle they have. And in the last game, they brought in him and Milt Williams together, which was nuts. They've been bringing in Tonga. Patriots coach Mike Vrabel famously used by Belichick to be a blocking back or like a tight end person but then would catch balls And I think there some crazy stat Like he has more touchdown catches than there. It's like five hall of famers who've played in super bowls. Right. And I wonder if there's some brable symmetry with him getting some non-receiver, non-running back, not interested then like Tonga just ran. Oh my God. Tonga. It's the first touchdown of his career. I like that. Five to one. I flagged lineman scores, a touchdown plus 1100, obviously not as good as 75 to one, but you got the lineman covers that covers everybody on both teams, both teams, Vrabel's devious nature. You got Seattle at the one yard line. Maybe they want to put the whole Malcolm Butler thing. The rest like here's a fake burner burner. That's burner throwing. Exactly. Right. Number 64. Someone 60 pounds heavier than Barner, whoever it is. Yeah. Plus 1100. Not bad. I just, I really feel like Vrabel is going to pass it on. Yeah. If he has the chance to pass it on to somebody. And also this is McDaniel and they do weird shit when they're close to the goal line in, in big guys. I'm going to write. Daniel has done this, this whole, this whole life. The, the, uh, Drake, his odds were plus two 90. he's 30 to one for two touchdowns. And when you see them around the goal line, like they, they did the Josh Allen quarterback draw play for him. Yeah. But if he's not healthy, who knows for the playoffs, he's 24 for one 41 rushing with a TD. And then the JSN bet. So him being minus one 10, he's 12 touchdowns in 19 games. Out of those 12 touchdowns, only two of them are two touchdown games. Right. So he's scored in 10 of the 19 games. I don't think the minus 110 are good enough odds for him. That's the dirty little secret. None of these are good enough, really. But it's fun to bet two or more. That's a good one. Because if they play 75 times, he might score. But yeah, the two pluses are fun. But how many touchdowns are expected in this game? Five? I don't know. Depends if the... I think it's five. Five and a half? Is that what the number is? On Sunday night, I was like, this is going to be like a 30-27. I think we can move the ball on their defense. And now that Drake not as healthy I wonder is this going to be a chew up the clock when you have the ball kind of game I would like to get a separate box of the FanDuel CEO and everybody watching us discuss this And they're like, these idiots just named 35 players to score a touchdown when there's only five and a half touchdowns expected in this game. You think that's going on behind our back? Probably. I think they're probably laughing and being like, these guys, this is great. All their bets are terrible. Speaking of Fando, Super Bowl LX. Are you calling it 60 or LX? I got to go 60. 60's upon us. Unfortunately, that means it's the last call for football. How are you feeling? I'm not feeling that great. I know you set the stage nicely with the Saturday before, but I don't know how we're going to get through this. I really don't. Well, we're doing all of our props. We're doing all of our predictions all week long. but FanDuel has a $6 million TD jackpot place any time TD bet on the Super Bowl the jackpot token applied and if the selected player scores the first TD or the last TD not only do you win your bet you get to split the prize pool with the others who selected the same TD score if you take Tonga that means who are you splitting it with well now it's going to be a bunch of people so we can go first or last TD we want to go first I like Barner at 12 to 1 for the first TD, but I'm willing to be outruled by you. What's your favorite? No, if you like that, that's fine. And I think you got to go big numbers here because like I said, those first four or five are not worth it at plus 140 and 230 and all those. So I would say Cooper Cup, but if Barner is a good, you stayed your case, I like it. It's fine. Barner, I can get the first and goal from the one following the pass interference. Yep. Little tush push thing. or maybe they try to run in, they couldn't get it. Now it's third and one and they bring them in. I could get a little play action. I wouldn't be excited at all. You'd be so pumped. You'd be like, yeah, Barner. We're down 10-0. I'm just going to be silently by myself just freaking out. That's our pick for the jackpot. Listen to Bill Simmons' podcast all week and the Ringer Gambling Show and continue to place your bets on FanDuel Sportsbook for the big game. FanDuel, play your game. Okay. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra with the winter games and end of football season coming up. Suddenly everything's a sport and those competitions are even better when Michelob Ultra is on the line So go race to the bottom of the slope See who gets the best shot in driveway hoops Winner gets the superior beer worth playing for or play for bigger keeps with Michelob Ultra's latest challenge with a chance to get tickets to the biggest sporting events in 2026. 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Before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or if you need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tramfiya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit tramfiyradio.com. Rushing stuff. Drake Bay, under 36 and a half or over. Boy, this moves around so much. Didn't it already move four yards? 40 plus yards is now plus 108. 50 plus yards is plus 200 and 60 is plus 350. If I knew he was 100%, I would be banging the 50 plus for two to one. And if it turns out on Wednesday, Thursday, he's cleared, he's 100%. 50 plus, because I think he's, we've seen it. He needs to use his legs to help them move the ball. So that's my first thought. So you think if he's not 100%, he'd take off more? There'd be more design quarterback runs? He's going to get a hit, but you're going to get a hit though. Yeah, maybe he doesn't take the inbounds and everything. Maybe it's a little more sliding. Maybe he finds a sideline more, but it may be a couple more. I don't like tentative Drake, man. Okay. And we mentioned the Travion stuff. Yeah. 70 plus 14 to one, 80 plus 25 to one. What was your favorite? Well, I like the Travion. trick, man. Okay. trick, man. Okay. And we mentioned the Travion stuff. Yeah. 70 plus, 14 to 1, 80 plus, 25 to 1. What was your favorite? Well, I like the Travion to most rushing yards, although you crushed that with the 80 plus against 25 to 1. How about this? Any player rushes for 205 plus, which would be our Super Bowl record, which, by the way, is held by Timmy Smith, who did this Washington against Denver. Is this an unbreakable record? This is a 38-year-old record. He did it in 22 carries. I feel like at 100-1, you have a couple with great breakaway speed and ability with Kenneth Walker and Travion Henderson as we've met. 100-1? 205? Is this just never going to get beaten? The problem, I was looking at Walker. I actually like the under for him at 73.5 just because the Pats run day has been so good. The problem with Walker is he's been a 15 to 19 carry guy, like his whole career. He's not like a workhorse running back. He's not like a huge guy. He's had a bunch of injuries over the years. And even in that last game, they were pretty careful. Like they, they brought in, uh, the backup. They had wide receivers in the backfield a couple of times. They use Barner. Yep. I don't think he'll get to 20 carries. Do you? He kind of gets lost in those holes though. I don't want to compare him to Barry Sanders, but you're like, Oh, he's going to be bottled up after three. It's like, it really is just the explosive play potential, right? I don't think he's going to do it with, you know, six yards a carry for 35 carries. That's not how he would get this. But, and then you're a guy too. I mean, these guys, you don't see this where these guys have gigantic, what'd you say? 69 and 65 yards. That would help. That would help to get the 205. You almost need to get two of them. Yeah. A hundred and one's interesting. That would be Walker just absolutely murdering us. Yeah. Yeah. So this is for the Drake May. Oh, I'll do the Seattle quickly. I thought the under 73 and a half for Walker under for the backup Polanyi. This one was interesting. JSN 0.5 rushing yards is the over under. I was like, wow, that's low. They'll just do a sweep of them. I looked it up, said four rushes in September. They don't use them that way at all because they need them so badly for the past stuff. Right. They don't, they don't run like, like in the beginning of the Seattle Denver game that I was watching they got the safety They ran that quick sweep play with Percy Harvin that always seemed unstoppable when he in motion full speed and they just hand it off. And you would think they would do that with JSN, but they don't. They run that play for Shahid. So I actually like the under for that. What was Shahid? Shahid's probably... Well, Shahid, that's a popular one. And everyone got killed on that last week. Right, right, right. But they tried it. They ran the one sweep of them. I mean, look, like we said, this is not where you don't, you don't keep the trick plays in the bag, you know? No. Well, yeah, you're right. If you're going to run JSN, this is the week because you're not doing it. You're zagging. Um, but the ones I really like, I like these Romandre odds. Um, his over is 49 and a half. And you look at like, so these are like since the Buffalo game that they lost, he was six for 50, eight for 51 against Baltimore, eight for 47 against the Jets. They took them out. Gets Miami seven for 131, took them out. Chargers playoffs 10 for 53, Houston 16 for 70, and then Denver 25 for 71. Especially if Drake's not a hundred percent healthy, they're going to be trying to run the ball. Yeah. And the other one I really like 20 plus first quarter rushing yards is plus 174. And the Pats always start out slow. They try to establish, you know, try to keep the ball, move the chains, get some first downs. 20 plus sounds great. plus 174 the tough thing with the first quarters you don't know if you're getting the ball right everyone's very everyone's very conservative which lends towards your bet winning right yeah so um and I have some props receiving props that go along with that but yeah how many drives you need for that you need two or one I need I need two and maybe even one if he busts like a 13 yarder which is prone to the other one I like for him was five plus rushing yards each quarter plus 240 just five yeah that's a good second quarter would be the hard one because you have like the there's a two minute drill potential then fourth quarter same thing look you're stuck with this whole this Rabel thing and he's like now copying like Belichick how frustrating it was was it for gamblers to you know worked out Super Bowl wise for you guys but you didn't know the snap count for your running backs ever like that was a secret Ramondre snap count was split with Henderson, like week 17 and 18, as late as that. Then it was like 94 to 6 in favor of Ramondre Stevenson which is crazy So the the Patriots fans still talking about that kick return in the preseason Give some love here Even somebody like Bobo. I was looking at that. Yeah. So can I have Seahawks snap counts? It's like Bobo played. Right. 19, 19 plays last week. Oh, what's that? It goes Seahawks snap counts. We're doing, we have all this. God bless all this shit now. Um, yeah. So I like, I think all out of all those, my favorite is probably just the over 49 and a half for him straight up. But I like that 20 plus first quarter. Any other rushing ones from you? I had more, uh, I have a bunch of receiving. Okay. Let's go to receiving. Yeah. Um, spit the jig, but 90 plus is minus one 28 for receiving a hundred plus is plus one 16, one 25 plus is plus two 65. It's a lot. Well, if you like him to win MVP, you're going to like all those numbers, right? right i would at that point just bet the mvp because you get better odds the question for me is are the pats going to do the thing where they try to actually take out cup and just hope jsn doesn't go nuts or do they try to take out jsn and steer everything to cup and barner and some of these other guys i don't know what the strategy is going to be you know the old pats would do to put the two guys on the one on the best and then uh yes next best on that so that's interesting Make Cooper Cup beat you. This is a big spread in terms of your best guy and their best guy. 93.5 for JSN and Diggs is 43.5. Have we seen a spread of 50 before in a while? No. I don't think so. But yeah, I mean, I have a few here. Well, let's see. Do you want to go? Did you have any? No, go. Let me hear them. All right. Henry, catch on the first drive, plus 250. I don't have the data, but to me, and especially if there's shoulder issues, this is good. Get rid of the butterflies. First pass. Short one. Tight end settles in the first level, four yards over the middle. I would bet AJ Barner at similar odds, right? Seattle 29th in the league against tight ends. So Hunter Henry props in general. There you go. So Hunter Henry, anytime touchdowns plus 230, but Hunter Henry, where the ball is tipped by six or more Seahawk defenders before he catches it is also plus 230. So lucky. So lucky. Stuck that in. I was looking at Ernest Jones for that, too, because Drake's almost throwing picks to linebackers, I think two straight weeks Yeah Yeah that true It close I mean I got a bunch Henry over half a receiving yard first quarter if you want to do that Same kind of thing Very conservative plan Diggs, four plus receptions. They play zone most of the time, Seattle, and he's around five catches a game against teams that play zone. He's like top 10, 11 receiver versus his own. I would go with that. All right, you go. I'll catch my breath here. my favorite guy for this game for this category is Matt Collins who became a really really essential important patriot who is on the field a lot because he's such a good blocker and became a trusted Drake guy and then got hurt and missed four games came back last week he's 30 plus yards is is even 40 plus receiving yards from his plus 188 50 plus is plus 310 70 plus is plus 750. Wow. Let me read you some of the big games he's been in this year in the second half of the year, Denver last week, two for 51 Baltimore, seven for 69 Buffalo, four for 41 Tampa, six for one Oh six Cleveland, seven for 89. I think I, my favorite out of all of these is the 50, 50 plus yards for him. Plus three, 10 is the one I would go with because I think he's going, if they fall behind, great for the bet. He usually has one big play if they're winning, so that's also good for that bet. Either way, in a weird way, I feel like he's kind of more reliable than Diggs. Diggs has been really hit or miss in these big games. He's been awesome, carried them in some games. Other games, like you forget he's out there. Yeah. And he doesn't play all the time either because they keep his snap count. Collins is going to be out there a lot. I do like digs to impregnate a cheerleader before halftime at 30 to one. Male cheerleader, seven 50 to one. I don't know. I feel like four kids this year. It's fine. Oh, that's it. All right. Your Mac Collins is my Keisha on booty. Cause I have him 90 plus yards at plus eight 80. And it's kind of the same reasoning as the, uh, Travion Henderson thing, right? Like he, he busts big plates. He has longs of 39 twice. He has a long of 42, a long of 32, which puts him right in the mix. And if they do focus on digs. So you have 90 plus yards for him? 90 plus is plus 880. Most receiving yards is plus 1300. Same rationale as Trey Henderson. Most receiving yards in the game? In the game. Yeah. 90 plus is plus 880. 90 plus is plus 880. Most receiving yards is plus 1300. Same rationale as Trey Henderson. Most receiving yards in the game? In the game. Yeah. I know it's asking. Wow. JSN. Yeah, that would almost have to be an injury. Yeah. I think the cup odds were interesting just because if they do the thing where they try to take out JSN, cups over is 32 and a half, 40 plus yards, plus 136, 50 plus, plus 225. He has to be out there a lot because he's such a good blocker. Yeah. And, you know, he's trying to win a Super Bowl after the Rams gave him up. I'm sure that'll be a huge story this week, how hurt he was that the Rams kind of cast him aside. If you're Cooper Cup, do you let loose that you might retire after this game? And then you get some MVP love and all that other stuff. I would just do that every year. Yeah, I might as well. Once you're over 30 as a football player, just do it. We should say that for this prop thing. This is probably it, guys. We're going to retire after year 19. This is it. I should start that. Yeah. This could be it. This might be the last time we get to enjoy this. Never know. So your favorite out of all these is what? My personal favorite is 50 plus Matt Collins plus 310. Your favorite is? I'm going to go booty 90 plus at plus 880. That would be my favorite. Yeah. But there's a couple Seattle guys too. Like Helani over nine and a half receiving. He caught 27 last week for, you know, backfields all thinned out. Plus, running backs, I think, account for 25% of New England's allowed receptions, which is the third highest. Everyone's got Kenneth Walker over 20.5, so I don't love that as much, but he did have 78 in two playoff games. He did it five times before that. That's about it. I do feel good about our defensive line against putting real pressure on Darnold. I think they kind of lucked out with who they played the last few weeks, and I thought the Rams' defensive line was disappointing last week, but no Charbonnet, who was their big pass pro guy. Right. Um, the fact that this guy, Holani has to probably actually be out there at least what, 25% of the snaps. So that might help your catch bet. Um, if he's a better blocker, um, defensive stuff really quickly. I mentioned Lawrence was plus one 22 for a sack. Lawrence having a sack and each half was 10 to one. He only has six sacks on the air. So it's not as enticing as it looks. Um, interceptions other than the Marcus Jones one Woodson, Woodson on the Pats rookie safety 24 years old He 9 for a pick I think he been playing really well the last few weeks and he always around the ball and he's either had a pick or dropped a pick. I'm telling you, his hands are on the ball. That one jumped out to me. And then Ernest Jones mentioned him earlier, 11 to one. On that little seven yarder over the middle that either gets tipped or Drake doesn't see the guy. I thought those were my two favorite interception ones. I like, I think we load up on this category because this could be a sloppy game. We sort of like both players to throw an interception, maybe even more than that. So let's just take the best there is. Like, let's take Christian Gonzalez at plus 650. Red hot, add one against the Broncos. You know, if you think Darnold with 14 on the year is going to throw one, you might as well cover your bet with the... And six fumbles. Yeah. He's dying. He's dying to give us the ball. There you go. And so I like them. I like M and Yuri on the other side for Seattle to take one. I think there could be like a safety blitz again. Like they're going to, they're going to like, they're not going to leave anything, you know, left unfold. Like, I feel like I know he's against tight ends. He's not the best, but you know, may already took 15 sacks. So if you can get plus six 50, six 40 for M and yours, that's a sack. Actually, that's not for an interception. So I like all the sack bets for Seattle for the odds of them, just based on the fact that the Patriots have been giving up sacks. Yeah. His entire playoffs. Yeah. Even though Seattle had one, they're basically one sack a week the last couple of weeks, but maybe this is the week they break out. Uh, some random stuff before we get to your really goofy stuff. No touchdown in the game is one 75 to one. Hmm. Double overtime is a hundred to one on Fandle. Wow. A correct score repeat of the Malcolm Butler game. Patriots 28. So all that. Seattle 24 is 350 to one. And then a national anthem, national anthem as of right now, 119.5 seconds. Yeah. Minus one 10. Okay. Take us through some of the wacky ones. Well, let me, let me just read a couple more that, uh, before we get to the pregame and everything else, uh, I'm picking the game right now. I'm going to say 33, 20 Seahawks at 250 to one, um, that, that Patriots score 20 points is 10 to one. 21 is 19 to 1. I know you hate that. Minus 500 that Chris Collinsworth calls the Seahawks blowout when a good old fashioned ash kicking That going to happen Ash kicking I don know if he heard I heard him say that before So he thinks they going to kick some ash Bill, come on. I'm sorry. They're kicking all kinds of ash, Mike. Mike, you know, these guys are getting ash on the side. This seemed mean, but Fandel put it up. Seattle who attempt to pass at the one is plus 650. That's a Malcolm Butler, you know, a nod. I feel like if you're Pete Carroll, do you bet this as an emotional edge. I just... Pete Carroll can't watch. He can't. He's not watching. It's awful. He's three and four. He takes his team to three and 14. He watches Geno Smith get ruined. He's 74 years old. That's your miserable swan song in the NFL. He's fired in disgrace. He wants to be left alone. Here's two more weeks of the Malcolm Butler play, followed by an uninspiring Raiders hire, which is going to further remind you of how great he is at the job, apparently. That's right. I think that's it. Did that go, did that, uh, bust a break already? All right. Would you hire the, would you hire a guy before you made sure he was good in the Superbowl? You know, that's not worked before, right? What was it? Was it the Philly one when they gave up a million times? Is he going to be nervous to be aggressive in the Superbowl or less nervous? Yeah. I mean, Donald's going to throw eight interceptions now because, uh, because of this, um, team the score three times in a row. I'm not doing you any favors with the VIG minus one 66. The Eagle scored six times in a row last year, the year before the chief scored three in a row. The Bengals did it in the Super Bowl out here with so far. This happened in four of the last six. 16 and 10 in the last 26. So you basically need the last two of the second quarter, and then you also have the ball in the third quarter. Maybe a field goal in there kind of thing. I think this should be minus 220 or minus 230. Let me see. Sorry. Did we mention the kicker props about total number of points scored by the kickers? I always thought that was a good one. Oh, yeah. Was it 10 and a half? Well, Seattle's kicker to have 10 points or more. I thought there was good juice on that. I like that. Did you have tie Patriots last week for the Denver game? Didn't you and House have that? It was 16-1. We didn't actually bet it in real life. You didn't make a big enough deal out of that. Yeah, it's also 16-1 if you like the Seahawks and a lot more if you want the Patriots. What is it for the Patriots? I didn't look because they're not going to win. I didn't feel it mattered. But I will say, Pat's over nine and a half. Second half is minus one 28. Don't you like that a little bit? No almost any case like their second half team even if they have to come back that especially good Yeah always second and third quarter seem to be the quarters A quarterback shoulder might not work I'm still positive. I'm ready for the nonsensical stuff, the novelty props. Okay, go. Well, you said 119.5. This is Charlie Puth singing, right? I think he's friends with our buddy Daniel, so it'd be nice if we could find out what that is. but this has gone under in three of the last four, three of the last seven, they'll have come within seconds of this. So, and there's no evidence of, you know, usually you could go to YouTube, seeing him do it. He played this on the piano in a minute and 13 seconds, but that's a bad indicator. So what I would rather do is last brave, home of the brave, that's held over under three and a half seconds. I'm going over. This is your time to show off Charlie Puth, right? and I think you know it's tough because they'll say brave and then director almost always cuts to the fighter jets and so you don't really know when the brave ends and you end up uh arguing with a guy from Antigua on the on the phone calling you Mr. Saul trying to get your money back but those are the old days this is Fandle they're gonna pay up uh over three and a half so there you go yeah that is there was one time I can't remember we were watching together and we had no idea when the song actually ended because they cut to the flyway. And we're like, what happened? Was there an extra second in there? They're too loud. These fighter jets. Is there any way we can get inside information from PR agent of the stars, Louis K? That would be nice. I mean, he steered us, uh, did he steer us right or wrong with this before? Steered us right twice. He did. Okay. He's freaking out. He did. And then he got really upset that we talked about it on a podcast. So we said we wouldn't do that again. We'll never do that again. But Louis, come on. Except for the He gave us winners. Yeah. Does he represent Charlie? He should just for this. You can lose him as a client after the game. Um, will a player or coach cry during the anthem? I say no. Plus one 84. I think it's worth it. You need to see a visible tear running down the cheek. That's how it's explained on Fandle. That's a pretty big threshold. What do you think? It's a tough one. I think in this social media era, you're going to fight off the tears more than you would in like 1990. Right. Where you cry and it's just the moment comes and goes. Now, if you cry, you're a meme for the next two days, potentially, especially if your team loses. I think you fight the tears off. I'm going no. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the same way. Like, cry, you're a meme for the next two days, potentially, especially if your team loses. cry, you're a meme for the next two days, potentially, especially if your team loses. I think you fight the tears off. I'm going no. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the same way. Like the one they go to is the Sirianni, like crying like a 12 year old at a Taylor Swift concert. But I don't think we see that again. I don't think, I think, you know. Yeah. Sirianni can't really be compared to other humans. Right. Right. Just in general. I would say no. Coin toss, tails, heads, minus 104. See if you can find a better VIG than that. The winner of the coin toss, this was interesting, is 25 and 34 in the Super Bowl only. Is that true? If you're smart, you'll try to lose the coin toss. Tails is 31-28. Tails has won two of the last three years, eight of the last 12. The last time the Super Bowl was in Santa Clara, it came up tails. I'm going with tails. I wouldn't say it's never fails, but I think it's the pick. What do you got? You have to be on record. What are you saying? This is where you and I, both of them love gambling. This is where we break. This is where I wave goodbye. I can't bet the coin toss. I just can't. And I don't care about the history of it. It's just, I did. I've lost it. It's just like, you might as well. You have to lose a thousand dollars before the game even starts to consider yourself a traditional. I was more excited. There were bets about, at least on FanDuel Canada, there were bets on temperature of the game and it had these five degree radiuses, but it was all in Celsius. And even though I graduated with a master's degree, I couldn't understand the Celsius. I did the conversion. So you converted them? 16 to 20 degrees Celsius is minus 125. That's 61 to 68 degrees Fahrenheit. I think it's going to be lower. I think we're going to be in the high 50s. So what's that? Oh, really? Oh, I think that's a good range. I don't know. I think you get plus 140 for the lower. That seems to be true. I mean, that'd be amazing for the Patriots. Drake May hasn't played a game in normal weather since like mid-November. Can you tease that to 74 degrees Plus 10 and a half I'm going to ask Bando Can we tease the Patriots with the degrees Tease it down to over 51 degrees There is a weird one How do they know what the weather is a week from now I've never understood that Well that's a big range though They probably don't know Even last week they were saying how Yeah there might be some flurries in the second half It was a fucking blizzard I've been betting on the weather for a while And it gives me an excuse to go outside I do kind of like it I do like betting on the weather This episode is brought to you by Scout Motors You don change the game by standing on the sidelines You do it by building something new Iconic in the 70s and reimagined for today The all new Scout Terra and Scout Traveler are engineered from the ground up with advanced capability and bold ingenuity. Build brand new for what's next. Opposing defenses, take note. Join the wait list at scoutmotors.com. Concept vehicle is not available for sale. Joining and the wait list does not guarantee purchase. Visit scoutmotors.com for details. This episode is brought to you by Spectrum Business. Fast, reliable internet means everything for your business. And even this podcast. That's why I trust Spectrum Business. They keep companies of all sizes connected with internet, advanced Wi-Fi, phone, TV, mobile services, plus 24-7 US-based support. Millions of business owners already trust Spectrum Business. So visit spectrum.com slash business to learn more. restrictions apply services not available in all areas there is a weird one that the coin is flipped and it gets lodged in JSN's throat rendering him ineligible for the game Pats gets so lucky that's plus 250 Cardi B how many times they show her odds are she's with Kraft I would think at this point I don't know if they're going to go less Kraft camera time or if that will be the same amount of camera time? I think they show her at least four times. Really? Oh, wow. What is the over-under? It's only one and a half. Oh. Over. Over. Oh, okay. I'm going to hit that. She just sang on SNL. Yeah. She's huge right now. They'll show her. All right. Does she wear a Stefan Diggs jersey? Yes, it's plus 170. Or does she have like an outfit change? It could be like a Chrome Hearts type of specially made Stefan Diggs jersey that has like stuff on it. I could see that. Okay. Yeah, I could see that. All right. Except bad luck, though. No, I actually think she does wear it. She's also like minus 250 to appear with Bad Bunny, so that could happen, too. She has two opportunities to wear the jersey. Gatorade. I know you don't love this. Orange plus 230. No, I like this more than the coin toss. Orange plus 230, blue plus 250, yellow, lime, green. You get all three for plus 260. Yellow, green last year, one with the Eagles. plus 260. Orange, way too chalky at plus 230 for something that's happened once in eight years But go ahead What were you going to say Does it have to be the Gatorade for both teams Is it the same color on each sideline I can remember Oh I don think so No I think that was always a thing. Like this team might go one way, this team, the other. Cause if it's the Seahawks, they're going to go yellow, lime, green, right? That goes with the jerseys. You with the Patriots, probably like a blue or red. I've been wrong about all this almost every year and I love it. I love going with it. It's the last bet of the game. The game's over at that point. This is it. It's our farewell. Other than the guy crying on the podium. I'll get to that in a second. Plus $1,100 for water slash clear. I like that. 17 years ago water slash clear at a four year run. People are health conscious now. I kind of like that at plus $1,100. That would be my pick. Is there a bet for the Pat's winning and Vrabel doing the, can you dig it on the podium? Cause they've embraced this whole warrior movie thing. I haven't seen it. You've been following this. Yeah. Cause they would have been the road warriors. They're nine and oh, on the road. This would be their 10th road win. And they're really pushing this road thing. Matt Collins came in last week. He was doing the bottles. Um, the only thing they haven't really done yet is the, can you dig it? Cyrus's famous speech. Right. Okay. If that happens, uh, put odds on me not doing the podcast that because you're going to have to tag Joe House and emotionally I'm not going to be able to do it. Yeah, next week, no matter who wins, we're not going live until after the podium because I actually like some of the podium. Yeah, after like the first two and then we'll come on. It's fun. All right, so the very last thing to bet on is the MVP who he thanks, right? God is minus 290, teammates plus 210. And listen, let me just say something. I'm happy for everyone who thanks Jesus. It's great that faith is such a strong presence in their lives. But if God is as great as everyone wants him or her to be, then they have to forgive you for not mentioning them first when you're handed the MVP award. Your teammates, though, who risked their lives getting their heads bashed in for 21 weeks and are right there next to you may not be as forgiving if they're not mentioned and you're standing right next to them. I would say plus 210 for teammates. Hopefully this sinks in. So it's teammates plus 210. God is who is what? God is who is a very tough question. No, God, what are the odds on God? Minus 290 for God. Anybody else in there? Coach? There is coach. Wait, hold on. Let me see if I can find it Because Drake May is a wild card to thank his brothers first He very close to his brothers He the youngest brother God religious figure minus 290 Teammates plus 210 Family plus 1260 That who you like for Drake May Fans, 18 to 1. Drake would go teammates first. And I think Sam Darnold would too, unless he uses the opportunity to tell the Vikings to fuck off, which I don't think he would do. Interesting. That's not in there. Nobody thanks the coach. That's the longest shot at 25 to 1. Even Kraft would get 18 to 1 if that happened. Oh, our special guest is here for Parent Corner. Oh, he is. Jimmy Kimmel. Hey, Jimmy. I know I was going to tell you to log in, but it worked. And we're live on Netflix, so we can't edit this. I've been saying to Ted Sarandos, I said, would you please bring public access television to the platform? Oh, wow. And here we are. our houses. It's even worse. In public access, you'd go to a place. You'd go to a studio. We're in 4K, baby. 4K public access. Wait, Sal was just going through the props and there's a Super Bowl. Is it the MVP? Yes. Who the MVP thanks first, Jimmy? What would you say? So on the podium, and you could go teammates, you can go God, you can go coach, you can go family and friends, whatever. Who do we think the MVP is going to be, just to start with? The easiest is to either quarterback. Both of them we think would go teammates first. Oh, you think so? Yeah. Okay. God is the big favorite at minus 290. God's always the big favorite, isn't he? He kind of has some control over this, too. I guess I would go with God. I'd have to go with God. Go ahead. You throw God in a parlay? Can we put God in a same-game parlay? By the way, I'm looking at this. Yeah. Bowen Yang is 35 to 1. I don't know why anyone would thank him. Here's one for you. What are the numbers as far as Will Aaron Rodgers apologizing, apologizing for suggesting that I was in the Epstein file? It's probably like 10 to 1. He hasn't apologized yet. We're still waiting on that one. No, I'm waiting for that and his wife. Yeah. Listen, I don't want to put a pin in it, Jimmy, but there are still a million documents out there. So you are not nearly in the clear yet. Listen, I don't want to put a pin in it, Jimmy, Listen, I don't want to put a pin in it, Jimmy, but there are still a million documents out there. So you are not nearly in the clear yet. Maybe I'm in the whole million. We don't know if you're clear yet. What was the other? So we had, how many times will they show Cardi B? Was another prop. Yeah. Because she's going to be there on behalf of Stefan Diggs. Yeah. And the over-under is one and a half. I went way over. I think they show her at least four times. Yeah. Yeah. It's got to be over one and a half. It's got to be two, right? It's got to be two times. At least two. At least once a half. they don't count if she performs do they is that part of the during the uh oh man i have to oh that's interesting that would be a that would be yeah i don't they i think that should count i think it's on the broadcast in the game i think it is that counts if she's a cameo how do they keep this stuff so quiet as far as who's gonna i mean there have to be a thousand people in that stadium rehearsing like how did they keep this quiet well that's why the couple of the years when our friend Louis K was working. He was feeding us illegally stuff that we could gamble on. We got very upset that we talked about it on the podcast. We told him not to, that we wouldn't do that again, but I guess I just asked him. He's usually so rah-rah about these things. Yeah, go ahead. Is he repping Bad Bunny now? We wanted him to try to sign Charlie Puth before Sunday to see, because then we would find out the national anthem is 119.5%. seconds. Doesn't our friend Daniel know Charlie Puth? I said that. I know. Can we get word to... He does know. He knows everybody. Yeah, he does. Sal, the only bet before we do a special mega edition of Parent Corner, the only bet you didn't do was the Gary Russell Memorial prop. Let's do it. Can we do that with Jimmy? Jimmy, you know the story. We did this bet. Can I set it up? I'll set it up. Set it up. You do it. All right. So, Gary Russell. So, every year, I come on this podcast the week before the Super Bowl and try to pick an obscure player to do something positive, right? So it's usually like a backup tight end to catch a pass for a half a yard. And I've won with some no names like Henry Hanowski and Fozzie Whitaker. I usually lose. But the first year we did this, actually, Jimmy, we watched the Super Bowl at your house. It was Pittsburgh versus Arizona. And it was 17 years ago tonight. It was February 1st, 2009. What an anniversary. Haven't seen it in newspapers or anything. Yeah. Happy anniversary, Gary Russell. So I had Gary Russell to not score a touchdown minus one He was the backup running back Steelers running back to fast Willie Parker His first carry inside the two, he lost four yards. I'm like, they can't go back to him. Well, they did. I was like, give it to fast Willie. No, they gave it to Gary Russell, touchdown. Yeah. And as legend has it, we found out. It was an actual long email that we got, that I got. from a man. He says he and a woman were at a Super Bowl party. They didn't know each other. They noticed that the other was laughing after the Gary Russell touchdown. And they got to talking and they were fans of the podcast. They're like, oh, is it because of Cousin Sal? But yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, they hook up. They end up getting married because of this prop. So happy 17th anniversary or more likely sorry about the divorce, right? Is that how it goes with this? It's either a happy memory or a terrible memory for them, but it's one or the other. Yeah. I'm trying to imagine a woman sitting through this show and listening to plus 165, plus 238. It's not adding up to me. I don't know what's going on there, but happy anniversary. He's just taking shots at us. We love public access. We have Obama listening to this. Barry O's listening to us. That's true. Did I tell that story last time? You did. You told the story. he's probably not listening anymore I was more excited about that than either one of you I don't know what it was it really was I couldn't wait to get out of the groove probably so Sal what do you have for this year let me just say it's been tougher and tougher to come up with these because we know all the backups we know some of the third strings but I think I came across a doozy which is really going to turn some heads here here we go drum roll please Cahal for my Gary Russell annual prop pick of the year. Here we go. Brady Russell, Seahawks fullback to score a touchdown at 40 to 1 odds. Now, you might say, is he related to Gary Russell? I didn't even know who that was. He is not related to Gary Russell. He's wider than a sheet, and he has long hair. But just the fact that his name is Brady Russell, perhaps one in two in Boston sports legends, and the Patriots didn't sign this guy at the University of Colorado. This is payback for Brady How did the Patriots not sign a guy He should be on the team This is like Seattle having a guy named Marshawn Griffey Jr Or the Patriots. Or New England having it. Yes, that's right. Plus his last name is Russell, tying back to the 17th anniversary of our guy Gary Russell. Right. No relation. Brady Russell. So I think Clint Kubiak, now the Raiders coach, or in eight days, whatever, switched him from tight end to fullback. Couple issues. He only has one target this year, and his hand is kind of injured, I think from the one target. But I think he gets a handoff at the goal line. You don't want to go through any of that nonsense again like Pete Carroll did with the, right? This guy gets the handoff. Brady Russell, touchdown, lives in infamy. 40 to one odds, go get it. Put it in on Fando right now. I think Fando should promote this as a special bet. You'll have Seahawks to win with Brady Russell. And that would be like, I don't know, 60 to one or something. I'd be curious to see what happens to the numbers now that you've mentioned it. I mean, you've got to get that bid in fast, right? Yeah. Did Sal just change the Brady-Russell market? Yeah, he did. Fandel is loving this, by the way. He'll be the only one making that bet. That's great. It's all free money. There you go. Brady-Russell, do it. We brought you on for Parent Corner. You came on at the start of the football season. and your son, your son, Billy, quite a character, is still in his apex mountain for Parent Corner. This is the sweet spot when the kids are, really the little boys between eight and 10, I think that's- The funniest age. Yeah, some people might say six to 10, but the second half of their first decade is when the comedy really comes on. So we haven't seen you in a couple of months. You're gonna tell us some Billy stories. well he's very he's still very focused on his penis you know he's still right all about the penis and we we showed the kids happy gilmore which they'd never seen before yeah hey you know it's one of those things like should we show this to them she's just you know i was like you know i'm gonna show them and now you know that montage where happy gilmore's got the you know gas pump between his legs everything's a penis you know yeah billy does that now all the time it's anything cylindrical as a penis you know chopsticks uh pool noodles broomsticks whatever hot dogs carrots he's got them all sticking out of his pants and he walks around he's really a lot like sal i mean like sometimes i just say to molly like what what happened did was it tell me the truth did something happen with Sal because he much more like Sal as a child than he was like me And Sal is an inexplicable child. Like I could never, ever Simmons, you don't need whatever you've seen from Sal multiply it by 40 to one by Brady Russell. And that's what Sal was like when he was a kid. But Billy's got this super weird thing. And this is, it was a very Sal type of thing. Like he'll walk in the room and his penis is out. Like he's got to either like, like kind of up over his, the elastic of his pants or just flat out. And we'll see him. We'll go. All right. All right. All right. Put your penis away. And he's like, what do you mean? And I was like, just come on, put your penis, put your penis away. It's like my penis isn't out. And then he, all right, that's funny. Put your penis away. He will keep it up until he is crying. He'll be like, why are you saying this? my penis isn't out. It's just penis is out. It's there. Penis theater. So he's praying at night. He's weirdly religious. Like I find on my YouTube subscription, all these Jesus like channels. Oh, wow. What's really? Yeah. Did you tell him about the Super Bowl prop for minus 290 for God? You got to get him in on that. Who does Billy Frank first? Yeah. He says, and I've written some of these things down so I can remember this. It says, Thank you, God, for my squiggly wiggly and my two big ones. That's his balls. He has nicknames for it. He says his penis. It changes every three days. Right now, it's Jiggly Birkenstock Jake is his penis's name. I like it. We bought him a wetsuit so we could go in the ocean in the wintertime, and he just immediately peed in it. Like, immediately. Before he even got in the ocean. he folded his penis up like you know kind of tuck fold type of situation and he walks in the room and you know we're in there and my daughter's in there he goes Jane you have a little sister he also would really like my wife he really wants Molly to touch his penis I mean he's just constantly going bite it touch it Mom, squish my pickle. And Molly doesn't, you know, she doesn't go over any of this stuff. And blame me for it all. That's good. It's good that she doesn't. Game of Thrones, it might work. That's about it. He also will squeeze Molly. She doesn't go over any of this stuff. She doesn't go over any of this stuff. And blame me for all that. That's good. That's good that she doesn't. Game of Thrones in my work. That's about it. He also will squeeze Molly's butt. And he does it to us too, but Molly the most. It's like a stress ball for him or something. And before he leaves for school, he'll double back and he'll squeeze her with both hands. And he says, I got to save that up for the whole day. So now, and I don't know if I told you guys about this, but he's, he walked in, we were in a hotel and he walked in on us. It's pitch black. It's late at night and just in, as we're about to make love. Oh, wow. I'm so glad that's still happening. Yeah. Yeah. When we weren't sure that, we didn't know what he saw because it hadn't happened yet, you know but um we weren't sure what he saw and we were hoping that he wouldn't remember in the morning like he was kind of sleepwalking or whatever because we wound up like walking him back to his bed i had to uh like flip the other way but he didn't remember in the morning and we were relieved that he didn't remember but then three days later we're sitting at breakfast and he goes his sister again he goes oh jane i forgot to tell you something and molly and i immediately knew what he was going to tell her. And he starts telling her. And we started, we're like, and I'm like, what? And Jane's like angry at us and mortified and immediately knows something is going on. And now he brings it up just like out of the blue. Once every like 11 or 12 days, he just brings it up and he goes, and I know what you did. He'll say, when we told him we were hugging what you did and he doesn't believe he oh yeah he was like he doesn't believe it at all and neither one of them believes us now and he'll threaten to bring it up around other people he's like well if you do that i'm gonna tell you know whatever like i'm gonna tell grandma what you were like don't you not talk about this and then the other night he's got this uh stuffed animal and he's like kind of like he's laying down and he's got the stuffed animal like on top of him and he's just kind of like bouncing the animal up and down and he says This is what you did to dad tomorrow He terrorizing us with this This is unbelievable I saw when we came to your first show when you returned and Billy was there wreaking havoc for five minutes and I looked over at Sal and I've never seen Sal happier and more proud. It's the greatest. Like he watched a trained assassin take assassin warfare to another level. He was so delighted. I had to explain to him, like when you come to my work and that is not, it's not so you can scare people. Cause you like to do is just like hide in the closet and just jump out and scare people, everyone at work. And you know, no one's used to this and then no one could say anything. Cause it's right. So it makes it extra horrible, you know? Oh yeah. He was outside. He was outside, um, just outside the house, like right outside the house. And he's playing with Jane and he says, I have to poop. And Jane said, poop in the bush. And. Oh, Next thing you know, he is pooping in the bush. Oh, my Lord. That was when our housekeeper decided to come up the stairs. Oh, no. He's very particular about what he wears. We will lay out clothes for him every night so we can get going in the morning. And every morning he chooses an entirely different outfit. He dresses like a cat burglar. He's in all black. He's got a hoodie on. He's like the burglar in the security company commercials. You know, that's what he looks like. He looks like he dresses like he's one of part of one of those roving gang, Chilean gangs who break into celebrities homes. He's got all black on and then he's got a gold chain, you know, and he loves NBA stuff. You know, it's all LeBron and, you know, whatever he loves. All right. It's messy, too, even though we've never watched a moment of soccer on television. but he likes the merchandising part of it. Okay. Sometimes at night we hear him talking and he's talking to Alexa. He's got a little, one of those Alexa devices right next to his, his bedside. And he asks Alexa, these are real questions that he has asked Alexa. First of all, he asks her about the weather, like more than an 85 year old man, seven times a day. That sounds like your dad. Yeah. He asked Alexa, he said, Alexa, if it was negative zero outside and I was naked, how long could I survive? There a lot of questions about natural disasters about tornadoes if they ever come to California When is an earthquake coming Wow That a lot of questions I asking Alexa how big is your butt You know, that kind of stuff. And then Alexa. It is funny listening to Alexa answer these questions. Does Alexa upbraid him or get mad or does she try to answer? She says, I wish I could answer a question like that. But, you know, it gets in the whole routine. And he's crazy about the iPad. They both are nuts. like kids don't need any more toys and there are no other toys necessary it's just all in the in the ipad you know it's so true you don't need legos any of that stuff anymore that that air is gone molly's mother fainted and had to go to the hospital and molly was like i'm gonna it was gonna leave she was gonna go to the hospital and the kids were upset and um billy was upset and he said do you think to help take our minds off it we could have ipad time oh my god he's so smart so sal i don't know if i told you this but on new year's eve we were um we were planning to go to sal's house sal usually has a party at the house but like everyone else out of town and sal wasn't planning to have a party but we just assumed there was going to be one so then sal was like uh yeah you guys could come over it's like all right we'll stay at home so we we're at home and we decide that we're going to watch happy gilmore too the four of us you know in bed new year's eve and we are you know this is this was a bad year 2025 we're anxious to see it go and i don't know what i had why i had it in my head that once it was over it would like then we'd have a good year start yeah yeah but we're we're ready for it to be done and um and i swear to god this is exactly as it happened we watched the movie we watched the nine o'clock ball in new York. You know, we watched the ball come down. Um, we're up a little while. Billy goes in the bathroom, we're in bed. And then Billy comes back into the room and he goes, there are worms in my poop. And I say, what? He's like, there are worms in my poop. You know, I don't know if he's joking or whatever. And I go in the bathroom and I look in the toilet and sure enough, there are a whole bunch of white little worms, pinworms in, which I guess is a common thing, but none of my kids ever had this before Yeah And um that how we rang in the new year That how we ended 2025 See I would count that toward 2025 It is part of 2025 Yeah I think that thrown in the 2025 pile We made the mistake of thinking we were in the clear by 10 p.m., but it turned out we weren't. So yeah, you can really count 1201 as the official new start. So worms, how did you fix that? Was there like medication? You have to drink this banana-flavored poison and everyone in the house has to drink it and you got to change all the sheets and so I was, I don't know how I got this job, but every night for the next week I practically boiled the sheets on the sanitary setting on the thing and then had to change all three beds every night. You should have lied to him and said he got the worms because he pooped in the bush. Oh, interesting. There was too much time between and you know what I wasn't thinking on my feet at the time I was just like, I really just wanted to scream like, what is What is happening here? That's terrible. I remember our kids got lice and that seemed horrible, but the worms in the poop is like 20 times worse. We've had lice too. Now I feel bad. If I hadn't had a New Year's party, we would have had the worms in my toilet. Right. And you would be washing your sheets. I know. Yeah. So we took the kids to their first Kings game, the hockey game. Yeah. And they didn't really want to go. They didn't know what it was or, you know, weren't interested, but I knew they would like it. We had good tickets. They were right on the glass. And my daughter said, I don't want to see the players fight. You know, she really don't want to see any fighting. And, of course, by the second period, the players were fighting. And she's screaming, punch him in the face. Punch him in the face. You get intoxicated immediately. Yeah, immediately. And then they put me on the Jumbotron. And Billy was sitting next to me. And so Billy. Now, this is, I don't know if you guys know about this. but little boys are, they instantly, I mean, like Billy, like you can't get them to talk to an adult, you know, like other than family members, you know, he barely, he's shy, you know, he won't, he's crazy when he's not around adults, but like he's, he's pretty shy in public. But man, when he would, that camera went on him and he was up on the Jumbotron, he turned into Cardi B and Bad Bunny and Bruno Mars and Dancing Barry all combined. I mean, he's twerking. He's going crazy. He's doing the whole thing. The audience starts getting excited. And then... There's something about that Jumbotron because they... going crazy. He's doing the whole thing. going crazy. He's doing the whole thing. The audience starts getting excited. There's something about that Jumbotron because the NBA League passed this year. When they go to commercial, they don't show ads. They just show the people in the stadium of the Jumbotron and they all do it. When they're on camera, it's like they lose their minds. It's one thing to be an adult and to do it. These kids come out of the womb knowing that when you're on the Jumbotron, it's time to go crazy. seven and up, you just have to start acting crazy. How worried are you at that point that he's going to pull out his penis on the Jumbotron? A little bit, but also hoping it happens. I'm sitting right in the middle. Take more games. Jane was mad, though. Jane said, I'm sick of him getting all the perks. And then Molly said to Jane, she said one of the Kings players was cute. And Jane said, I'm not into adult men being cute, but you go wild. So she's in that stage now. She's in that stage. I remember that one. Sal, I tease this for you this afternoon. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sal and I went to the, we should have tricked your father into going to that anti-ice march today. Told him it was like a Dodgers parade or something like that. Cause that would have been great. he would have been very unhappy they're having a second Dodgers parade whatever Billy's reaction was on the Jumbotron that would have been very very opposite for my father I wonder how long it would have taken him to figure it out so Jane this is a question that Jane asked Molly and Molly wrote it down and Jane said and this is a very I don't know what's going on if they're giving her gummies at school but she said mom have you ever thought that maybe everyone is a robot. We're all robots except for three people. And Molly said, what three people? And Jane said, Jackie Boo, which is our one-year-old nephew, Uncle Sal and Aunt Chippy. Yes. Obviously. And Molly said, why are those three the only ones that aren't robots? And Jane said, because Jackie Boo is just a butterball and he's too round and cute. And no way any robot gambles as much as Sal and Aunt Chippy. It would explode a robot All that smoke from Aunt Chippy would kill a robot Unbelievable I love it Uncle Sal? Yeah, we're all uncle and aunts. Oh, interesting. It could be cousin. I know. This segment is limited, I think, because your kids are getting older. Your kids are adults and Sal, you know, two years earlier. We've had a lot of trouble. We have 12-year-olds still. Bill Harrison's carrying us. Parents and dogs is Simmons' go-to now. This segment is more endangered than late-night television. But I will leave you on my parents who drove me completely insane today. Oh, nice. As opposed to every other day? I mean, it's just like, listen, we marched in a line. We went from one pier to the next pier and back. There was no chance of anyone getting lost, but just the phone call, where are you? What street? It's like, just keep walking in the line. Right. And then forgetting where my house is. It's like, just come to the house. She's like, I went to 35th Street. I'm like, there isn't a 35th Street. There's no way you went to 35th Street. And then I can't leave it alone. you know yeah but the fight they had today they had a really loud fight at the house and um the fight was about so they went to um a music recital for one of the children in our family and apparently j-lo's kid goes to this school and j-lo's kid was in the recital and they were telling us how good the kid was kid was really good right and um then they were talking about the fact that they were interested in the fact that J-Lo has like a big SUV that picks her up. To them, this seemed unusual, right? Right. And then they had a yelling fight about whether J-Lo's car had a loud engine, or as my father said, the car behind that car had a loud engine. Right. And you were yelling at each other about, no, it was her car. No, it was, no, it was a car, it was a race car behind her. No it was her car And they fighting fighting Molly finally stopped him She goes guys I hate when you fight about J car Please stop Oh, no. You're only robots anyway. Leave it alone. You're not real. Yeah. Wow. So there you go. That's great. Wow. Nice job. Do you want to do a quick one? Incredible. That was like seven parent corners. Yeah. I can't top that. That's good. You don't have a, there wasn't a youth sports thing this week? Super Bowl, you know? Yeah. I have to tell a quick story about my dad. Okay, good. You know, a massive blizzard in Boston. Massive. Like, shut down. You're not going to be able to get food anywhere. Like, whatever you have, you got to stockpile. And my stepmother was out of town. So everyone snowed in for like two days. And my daughter is in college in Boston. So she goes to see my dad like a day or so after the blizzard. opens his fridge and he has six venti iced coffees in there. And then all of this food from this place, Abe and Lewis. And so she's like, why do you have, I don't understand. Why do you have six coffees? And he claimed he tried to offer order, um, one coffee and didn't think it went through and did it six times. They brought him a whole bunch of coffees. We're not buying that. We think he stockpiled coffee because he didn't want to go get coffee every day and bought these six coffees with six muffins, but then had this Abe and Louie's food, which he bought like two steaks and he bought like five children's pastas to survive him for the four days. So my, my daughter's in there like, what are all these? And he's like, Oh, there's, I like their pasta, but they don't have adult pasta. I have kids pasta. So my dad was basically like the guy in lost. Who is the guy Desmond who's in the bottom, like has to survive for three months. I think that's what he thought the blizzard was going to be. And he was going to survive on venti coffee, um, leftover steak and kids pasta for as long as it took. I would argue that what he claims he did is worse than what you think he actually did. I mean, accidentally ordering the same thing six times in a row. That's a lot of times. Did it go through? Did it go through? Even Louie saved his life. That would be six different delivery guys. Cause you know how that works, right? That would mean he got six deliveries from six different people. My daughter was like, she was trying to take a picture and he was stopping her. She thought it was just so funny These six iced coffees next to each other Like what is the expiration date on an iced coffee too Like does the caffeine does it kind of die I don even know Depends on the milk Three storms Anyway, thank God. It's still freezing cold there, but I think he has two iced coffees left and one kid's pasta to survive. I like it. It's 12 degrees and he's drinking iced coffee. Yeah. I know. He can't fight it. Anything to plug him on? It's February sweeps month. Do we still have sweeps? Nope. No, there's no sweeps. no we have Don Lemon they don't have sweeps? I don't think so if so nobody ever mentions them we have Don Lemon on tomorrow though you know he got arrested over the weekend really? yeah that's a good one he just got arrested again you didn't see? I don't know oh he did? yeah he'll be out before the show I think alright thanks for joining us I wonder how many times he gets arrested he'll be on the show tomorrow where are you guys watching the Super Bowl? you know are you going to be together? I'm happy to but I'm not looking forward to doing like a giant Super Bowl thing I don't blame you well the last time the Patriots and Seahawks played we were at your house oh that's right for the Malcolm Butler game no I'm going to be by myself I don't want to be with anybody I feel like where can I go we go live like 20 minutes after the game I can't go we're going live right after I live one eighth of a mile from you I know but you're not having a New Year's party or however that works I don't know. No, I have worms in the toilet. I want to be there. You just want to go to your house. Listen, you're welcome to come. I know my son Kevin's coming over and you're welcome to come over, but I'm not going to do a huge party, you know? All right. You guys figure it out. And so if you feel that it, you're not going anywhere. I'm going nowhere. All right. Well, were you at my house the last time? Right. I've had good luck when you've been in the room with me for a Superbowl. Yeah. But I'm not going to push it this time. Well, then, hey, listen, and we'll have a reason. All right. Thanks to Cousin Jimmy. Thanks to Sal. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well and Jack Wilson. That's it for us on Netflix. We are going to be back on Netflix after the Super Bowl podium next week. I hope I have a smile on my face. I'll have my podcast plus rewatchables tomorrow. We did Wild Things. Oh, I saw you talking about that. Yeah, that's going to be it. That was good. Might be the last rewatchables. We might have pushed it too far. What? That's coming tomorrow through. That is on Netflix as well. Fellas, thanks for doing this. Thanks to everybody for watching. See you next week. That's coming tomorrow through that is on Netflix as well. Fellas, That's coming tomorrow through that is on Netflix as well. Fellas, thanks for doing this. Thanks to everybody for watching. See you next week. 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