--:-- Joe Rogan: And they move shit around and put things in weird places. And when you read the translation, you're like, what the fuck does this mean? Well, they're figuring out how to translate it, not just both word for word, but figuring out how you would say that same sentence in English. So it structures well.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, so it's clear what you're translating. It's fucking fascinating shit, man. It's fascinating.
--:-- Joe Rogan: And I also wonder after 50 or so years of everybody using English on the internet, how many kids are going to grow up just as English as their new language and their original languages like the old-fashioned thing their parents did. Could you imagine if there was only one language? Could you imagine how much shit would get done?
--:-- Todd McCormick: You know what's interesting, though, when you say that? Languages are going to go away by technology very, very, very fast.
--:-- Joe Rogan: No languages? So what's going to happen?
--:-- Todd McCormick: I think translators... You'll just sit there and have something translate it to you in real time. It's going to be voice detection and everything like that. But there'll still be languages, though. People are still going to want to talk to each other. Traditionalists will still be there playing with their whole thing.
--:-- Joe Rogan: But what if a few generations go by? I think things are going to change profoundly. Well, you're a proponent of the isolation tank. You actually have John Lilly's tank, don't you?
--:-- Todd McCormick: I do. I actually, after I met John, he gave me his tank.
--:-- Joe Rogan: He's got John Lilly's isolation tank. You're my only other friend that ever had one, actually. That's like having Willie Mays' fucking baseball bat. You know what I mean?
--:-- Todd McCormick: You know what's cool? I've got his shower shoes to go with it.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, shit.
--:-- Todd McCormick: So I actually get out and walk in his shoes every time I go from my tank to the shower.
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's crazy. They're not high heels, are they?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No, pretty boring brown shower shoes.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Imagine when they figure out how to stimulate the mind to create certain states, and they do it in conjunction with the tank, which is really the way to do it because it eliminates all the sensory input from this world. If they could figure out how to do that, put some electrodes on your head and set you in that fucking tank and light you up like a Christmas tree, and you just go into some other world, then maybe people will stop talking.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I think Dr. Lilly did that to me with 1cc ketamine injected.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, you told me about that.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, what a rush.
--:-- Joe Rogan: What did he do? What did he do exactly?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, when I got there, actually, I was going to go into the tank just straight. And you get a rinse off and everything before you go in the tank. And the guy was prepping me. And he says, "Usually when we do it, we go in with 1cc injected intramuscularly, ketamine. Would you like some?" And I hear part of my brain go, "No, no drugs, thanks." And then I hear my mouth go, "Oh, absolutely, I'd love some." And then I felt like a complete third person in my own reality because he said, "No problem." You know, it's injected intramuscularly. Is that a problem? And my side of my brain went, "Needles, no." My mouth, however, went, "No problem. That'd be great."
--:-- Joe Rogan: You didn't want to offend him.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah. And you know what? And he walked away to go get me the stuff. And I stood there for a minute and my brain was saying, "No way." And my other side of my brain went, "Look, you're at Dr. Lilly's house, man. You've come all this way. There's no way you're saying no." And he walked back in, and I felt a little alcohol swab on my muscle. And I heard my brain go, "No." And then I heard my mouth go, "Thank you very much." And then I made the most naive... Sorry, I said, "How long does it take to kick in?" And I will never forget his face when he went, "Oh, you haven't done it before? Oh, you should lay down. About 45 seconds." And he, like, put me in the tank.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Now, when you do it, what if you do something like that and you have sleep apnea? Do you run the risk of, like, choking and not breathing?
--:-- Todd McCormick: I don't know. I didn't have sleep apnea, but the last thing I was thinking about was sleeping when he slipped me into that tank. I thought I was there to watch the entire world come to an end. And I had, like, a ringside seat. It was pretty interesting.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So they shot you up with this ketamine. You lie down in the tank.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, you get into the tank and you float. And for me, it was the first experience ever floating.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So your first experience floating was with ketamine?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, my God.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Hey, it happens. How do you say no to Dr. Lilly? I'd watched the movie *Altered States* dozens of times. I'd owned the laser disc. That's how long I had it.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So what happened after it kicks in? 45 seconds in, what happens?
--:-- Todd McCormick: I thought I was freaking out. And the funnier side of this was my good friend was in the other room, and I was back around panic noise while all this was going on, and he didn't know about the ketamine entering into the equation. And he was sitting there with Dr. Lilly and his assistant at the time, Craig, and they had no concern of me sounding like I'm drowning. And finally he asked, you know, "Is he on ketamine?" And Craig said yes, and he said, "Would you go get me some?" And my friend was totally blown away, didn't think that was going to be the answer to the problem. And John put some ketamine into his leg and told my friend to have a nice night, and he went into his bedroom, and my friend could see into the bedroom where the tank was next to a bed. And he didn't touch the tank. He just went in and laid down next to the bed.
--:-- Joe Rogan: And I actually stopped screaming at that point.
--:-- Todd McCormick: And my friend was looking in the bedroom.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You were screaming?
--:-- Todd McCormick: I was freaking out, man. I was fucking losing my mind.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, my God. So you're in the tank. I shoot you up with ketamine. You panic. You start screaming. John Lilly says, "Give me some of what he's having."
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, and honestly, for me, I felt like, well, when I stopped screaming, I remembered it was conscious. I felt like somebody came into my trip and just said, "Yo, take a deep breath, calm down." And I was like, "Okay." And you know what? I just channeled the energy and it actually was a really positive experience.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So you think that John Lilly joined you in your trip? What if he joined you in the actual isolation?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No, he didn't. Me and my girlfriend later on tried to get in. It's like that dentist. It's not a cool place to have a friend.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Massage your tits. Yeah, come here, let's cuddle. It didn't work.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You know what? In a sense, yes, I feel like he did. I felt like there was a telepathic communication as much as this is going to blow all of the credibility I just had about talking about pot.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, I actually felt like Dr. Lillian and I communicated on a level that was more telepathic during your season, your shot.
--:-- [Ad break for DraftKings Sportsbook]
--:-- [Ad break for The Farmer's Dog]
--:-- Joe Rogan: The time I was under the drug. Now, do you think the tank even has— It's a true story. Don't want to believe it. I don't care. Do you think the tank would even work, though, if he took the same amount of pills and just laid on something comfortable or something?
--:-- Todd McCormick: The tank— No. I don't think the pill—I wouldn't think that your environment would have that big of a deal.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Here's how McKenna— The tank's huge. Right. No, it's huge. Here's how McKenna described ketamine. He said that it was like you – he believed that when you did psychedelics, you somehow or another connected to the experience that everybody had doing those psychedelics before you. That's one of the reasons why the mushroom experience is so rich and diverse. It says thousands and thousands and millions of people over the years have done mushrooms, and you're connected to this one big, gigantic, growing experience. He said doing ketamine – he said ketamine is so much more rare that really it gave him the feeling like he was in an abandoned warehouse or an office building with no furniture in it.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's interesting. I felt very alone in my trip initially. And then when I felt like there was another energy around me, it did feel different. And it was weird. I had a long conversation with John after it. And I really liked the old guy. He was really a nice guy. And then afterwards when I left, whatever, the next day his assistant showed up and said, "You made a real impression on John. He'd like you to have his tank."
--:-- Joe Rogan: He just gave it to you?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Wow, that's crazy. He probably felt bad. He probably didn't want you to sue him for fucking whacking him with ketamine and throwing him into a fucking bathtub. He's like, "This dude might sue me, man. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to work this. I'm going to work this. I'm going to stroke it. I'm going to call him up. I'm going to say, 'Yo, man, you are the shit,' and I'm going to give you my tank."
--:-- Todd McCormick: Oh, you know, Oliver Stone went the night before me in his tank.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, and freaked out, too.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I wonder if he peed and jerked off or anything.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, he took a huge shit.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oliver Stone's a big pooper when he sleeps. I had never really thought about that until just this minute. I would have definitely thought about it.
--:-- Todd McCormick: No, he did K, though, and did it. We both did it. Yeah, we got to talk about it years later, him and I. Sit down and chat about our weekend at John's.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Wow. What a fucking freaky dude. Whack people out with special K and throw them into a fucking tank of water. You do know this is the guy that *The Day of the Dolphin* was made about. He's the guy that did all of the research on dolphins.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Dude, I got all his books. All of them.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You have all of them.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Oh, he's a bad motherfucker. He was awesome. He's got a great book where he actually shows the deep self has directions on how to make a tank. Shows you how to make it.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, that precursor to the Sanamari tank I got, isn't it?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Samadhi.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Samadhi. Yeah, that's what I had too. I had one of those as well. Now I got a Float Lab one, the new crazy version. Have I showed you that?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Not yet.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I can't wait to see it. It's in the basement. You're going to trip. It's the craziest thing of all time. I think they're awesome. And I think a lot of people have never really been able to meditate within themselves. And when you get in this tank and there's no resistance on your body and you can actually really hear and you don't really see and you feel the same temperature as the surroundings around you, you really feel so boundless. And it's truly... You're flying through space, man. You're flying through space. It's a spaceship.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's a spaceship, man. That downstairs is a fucking portal to another world. It really is. It really is. When you learn how to relax, once you learn how to relax, and it takes a few times. You have to do it a bunch of times. And depending on your personality, how good you are at truly letting go. But if you really learn how to let go, man, you go on trips in that thing.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Dude, I used to... I'd set an alarm at like 4 a.m. if I went to sleep before midnight. And I'd just like walk because I had mine in my bedroom. I'd walk right to my tank, get back in it, and go back to sleep. And like 4, 5, 6 o'clock, I would always wake up before 7 feeling like, man, I just slept for so long. And I felt great. And my dreams would be so lucid, so incredibly real and tangible. And holy shit, I want to go write them down lucid.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's intense. So you only had to walk a couple steps, so you barely woke up.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, I barely woke up.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's right. And you went right back out.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Right back out. Bam.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Oh, that's amazing. You got it. It's awesome.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Mine's too far from my fucking bed. In the walking I'd wake up going, "What the fuck are you doing with your life, Rogan, getting up at 4 o'clock in the morning you fucking weirdo to go meditate?" And then I would go on the internet and check my Twitter on the way down. Ooh, UFOs. Congress is what's going on here. Next thing you know it would be an hour later. I'd be like, "I'm gonna go get some breakfast, man. I'm fucking hungry." Totally awake, sipping coffee. Did you see that shit that was on CNN? What are all these former US Air Force employees coming out about UFOs around nuclear arms, around nuclear facilities? That's fucking trippy shit, man.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I wonder if these guys are all just nuts. I wonder if these guys are all kooks or if they're like disinformation guys that work for the government and the government wants us to think there's fucking really UFOs so they can just distract the shit out of people. Meanwhile, Obama's passing all this legislation making it easier for people to wiretap your emails and get into your fucking Twitter account, your Facebook pages. They're passing all this legislation right into everybody's noses. I wonder if that's what it is. I wonder if it's just a distraction tactic.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I truly believe it is. I mean, they appointed, the UN appointed some chick to be the ambassador when the aliens come.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Listen, bitch, you don't speak for me.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Is that real?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yes! The UN just appointed an ambassador. And what the fuck's her job? Just sit around and wait? She is a, I believe she's an astrophysicist, and her job is to communicate with the aliens.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You don't talk for me, Hooker. Can I just say something? I got a dog. We have been on this planet evolving with dogs for thousands of years. And we don't speak Doberman. We don't speak German Shepherd. And how do we think that they're going to show up and suddenly we're going to be like, "Sit. Good alien." It's fucking hilarious.
--:-- Todd McCormick: The idea is that they're going to be so much more intelligent than us. They're going to be able to understand what our language is. They'll be able to decipher our language. That's the hope and the dream.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I think they're going to show up and think, "Food, man. You look soft and juicy." That's what we do. I'm going to fuck these people. If you look at what every single intelligent life form on this planet does, they're going to make sure that they exploit everything weaker than them. That's the ethic of space. It seems like it's the ethic of life on this planet. That's survival of the fittest. And when you're the fittest, you get to fuck the ones who are not as fit. That's just the way it is. What human beings do to dolphins and SeaWorld and what we do to killer whales. We know that killer whales rescue human beings that fall off boats. We know that there's never been a case in the wild of a killer whale, a documented case killing a human. The only times they've ever done it, other than SeaWorld, that's the only times they've ever done it. It's in captivity. And we know what dolphins do. Dolphins kill baby dolphins so they can force the female dolphin to fuck.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Is that true?
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, it's true. They kill the baby dolphins.
--:-- Todd McCormick: How do they kill them?
--:-- Joe Rogan: They kill them with their face. They kill them, yeah. And that's one of the reasons. Yeah, dolphins rape the fuck out of each other too. And one of the reasons why female dolphins are whores. Is female dolphins are super slutty. And the reason being is because they have to fuck as many male dolphins as possible so that when they have babies, those male dolphins won't kill the babies. So the male dolphin will go, "I fucked that piece, that might be mine."
--:-- Todd McCormick: Damn. They like her because they get to fuck her. It's all from documentaries. And so the idea being that the mother does not breed while she's with the babies. It takes like six years or something like that before she's willing to breed again.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, before she breeds again?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Before she breeds again because she has to take care of the babies. How long does a dolphin live?
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's a good question. I don't know. I don't know, but dolphins... You seem to know a lot about their sex life.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Dolphins are... I'm a freak. I'm a freak, son.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I'm just thinking about fucking one of those dolphins. I'm just saying. I'm thinking about fucking one for a while.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Oh, my God.
--:-- Joe Rogan: They're so pretty. If it only had a sheep's pussy, but it was a dolphin.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Right. I'd be in there, son. Put those two together.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, if you get... Fuck it, and it could drag you through the water at the same time. Take you on trips. And fuck it. You're going 30 miles an hour. You better be able to hold your breath.
--:-- Todd McCormick: God damn. You're going to need to design some new dolphin that you can fuck.
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's right. Or maybe you could just climb on the back of a dolphin and just get a fleshlight attached to the dolphin. You could probably do that.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Could be. I heard it already feels good. There's videos on the internet of people fucking dolphins. Have you seen those?
--:-- Joe Rogan: No. No. That can't be real.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's totally real.
--:-- Joe Rogan: No one's fucking dolphins, dude.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I'll show it to you.
--:-- Joe Rogan: How's that possible?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Huh? Their penis comes out and the woman gets underneath it. I don't remember.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Are you making this show?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No. I'm not. There's tons of videos of people fucking dolphins.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Can't be tons. Actual sex, Brian?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yes.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I need some clarification.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I'll show you one.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Okay, we need to go deep on this one. Sorry? We can't just leave people out there thinking that there's human beings. I wonder how many people are right now going, "This is bullshit, I will look myself."
--:-- Todd McCormick: Oh, a lot of people, that's the beautiful thing about the internet now. Instantly, you can find out, you can Google and at least get the general consensus.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I mean, you can't find out who killed Kennedy. There's some shit you can't find out. But you can Google YesOn19 and help us win in California.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, Proposition 19. It's like 34 days away.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, it's YesOn19.com. 34 days away, and what are the most recent polls?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Recent polls show us winning. It depends on whose poll you look at, Fox or what have you. And, well, they make very human sounds.
--:-- Joe Rogan: What are you doing, Brian? He's looking up. You said it wasn't true. Is she doing it? Is it real? Don't tell him it's not true.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's not real?
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, he's on an iPhone. That one's a guy with a fucking dolphin uniform. Apple isn't going to let you look at porn.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, man. How do you think you're going to look at that on that? They're going to say, "No, dolphin porn, no good."
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, but they can't stop you from going to all those websites now. They go to HTML5 because of the iPad. All the porn websites, none of them are Flash-based anymore.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Oh, really?
--:-- Joe Rogan: You can't get on the iPad? Oh, let's just change this shit up, son. Whoa. They change everything to HTML5, and then that works on your iPad, and then you can watch porn on your iPad. Who would have known innovation leading the way again?
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's porn leading the way.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Hey, there are a lot of Christians who need their porn. They do. You know. How about that new dude that got busted? What's his name? Eddie Long. Is that his name? The new big black preacher got busted.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah.
--:-- Joe Rogan: How's that? Banging some boys. I'm just saying. What is his name? Dude, that's double bad because, you know, brothers ain't supposed to be even thinking like that.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah. Brothers do not get down with the gay. No homo, man.
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's why the Proposition 8 passed in California. A lot of gay people were really pissed off at black folks. Because black folks voted some ridiculous number, ridiculous percentage voted for it.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Those white folks should be mad at their Christian siblings who brought Christianity to all these poor people, because that's really the problem.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Okay, well, you're going back a little bit far with your blame there, fella. Whoa. What is this guy's name? Ed Long? What was the guy's name that got busted? I want to read this online.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It could be Ed Long. That like his poor name. No, you right. Due to the size of the dolphin dick, the best way you can have sex with a male dolphin is to masturbate him.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Brian, Brian, Brian.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, his name is...
--:-- Joe Rogan: What about a female dolphin?
--:-- Todd McCormick: His name is Ed Long. His name is. It's Eddie Long.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yes. Eddie Long?
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's true. Eddie Long.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You couldn't write this fiction. You really couldn't, man. It's like, you remember when that... There was a... Eddie Long.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah.
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's his name, man. It's all in the name. You know it right from the top.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Here's the best part. Homie's got a pink tie.
--:-- Todd McCormick: How about that?
--:-- Joe Rogan: So he's the one taking it.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, we're watching it.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Not necessarily.
--:-- Todd McCormick: With the pink tie? Kind of soft.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, everything else is black. Whoa. His outfit's dark and strong, powerful. He's just like, you know, I'm into that boy pussy.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Whoa. Bring him the flashlight. This is a big ad. They make you watch ads now.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, they're good at it. Captive ads. They're saying, "Fuck your TiVo." I know. It's like the only time I ever watch ads now are when I'm trying to watch a YouTube clip. It's evil.
--:-- Todd McCormick: This is CNN.com. A&E.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Hey, you know what, man? It's only 30 seconds. Whatever. Whoa, of my life added up. So this guy, this Eddie Long, another Christian man in a position of power that it turns out was actually banging boys. Shocking. What if the Catholic Church has been run by gays who are angry at the straight people this whole time? Right? And they get to wear their dresses and have their fabulous cards and drink out of their gold chalices and be covered in all these colors and live in total secrecy and then pick out the little gay kids right out of the straight audience.
--:-- Todd McCormick: The only flaw is that they hate Madonna.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Whoa, what do you mean Madonna?
--:-- Todd McCormick: The churches hate Madonna. And gay people love Madonna.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Gay people love Madonna.
--:-- Todd McCormick: See, therefore, your analysis does not hold water.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Whoa, I think it's true. That's what you think it is? Is it an ancient gay cult?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah. Makes sense. Pope, wearing a dress?
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, of course. The whole deal. What's up with that crazy fish head hat? All of them at the Vatican. Let me think. I don't want to fuck women. I want to go live with men for the rest of my life. Pretty much a gay. And you're not even allowed to masturbate? Why not just... Oh, nocturnal emissions. Whoa, you can't even dream about getting off.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, how about Salt Peter? That shit they give them to keep them from getting horny?
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's not true.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's not real?
--:-- Joe Rogan: It's an urban myth, pretty much.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's an urban myth? But they still actually give it to them.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Salt Peter's real shit, dude. Some sodium stuff, I think. No, I don't think it is. They say it in jail all the time. And they say, "Oh, it's Salt Peter in food."
--:-- Todd McCormick: Really?
--:-- Joe Rogan: I don't know. Whatever. I can't say.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah. I still dream of my girlfriends and wake up feeling fairly arousy.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, I don't think there really is Salt Peter in jail. That's one of those urban legend type things. It's a total urban legend. The whole idea is ridiculous. The whole idea that anybody would ask you to not have sex. Like, why would God give me a dick if I didn't want to use it? God, don't procreate. Go.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah. God does not only not want you to procreate, doesn't want you to feel affection, doesn't want you to love someone.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I love how people that talk about, you know, there's no evolution. There's just creationism. They don't want to talk about incestual relations between Adam and Eve and all their kids.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, what's up with that? Where the fuck that come from? God showed up again with a new boat.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Hey, I got new fresh meat.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, there's a bunch of brothers and sisters fucking like crazy. That would be what it had to be, wouldn't it? If you go with the Christians. And then they did all this in 6,000 years. So what's up? You're my brother. What's up? Yeah, that's okay. My Christian brother. Don't eat that apple. That shit's bad.
--:-- Joe Rogan: No, and you know, I love that in the union. That was the first prohibition. The prohibition of "Thou shall not eat from the tree of knowledge." And who was the big cop? Right? God. And how many people? Two. Two people he had to police. And God, according to Christian mythology, couldn't handle prohibition.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, how hilarious is it that God would make some shit that he didn't want you to eat? He'll tell you, "Don't eat it. I'm telling you, I will fuck your world up. Oh, oh, oh, you ate that apple that I told you not to eat? Well, guess what? You don't ever get a second chance. You're fucked forever. Your whole species is fucked."
--:-- Joe Rogan: Joe, do you ever wonder if that snake? Do you wonder if that snake, that one snake, the original snake, ever made it? If he made it on Noah's Ark? Do you ever think about that?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No, because that snake was the devil. It wasn't really a snake.
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's how much I know. I was hoping that snake made it. Maybe that snake is all around us all the time.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Pretty much. The whole idea that they'll make fun of fucking Muslims. They'll make fun of Scientologists. They'll make fun of, you know, like, "Oh, they've got the wrong thing. You better come to Jesus." But see, I argue that everybody's an atheist, because a Jew doesn't believe in a Christian God, and a Christian God doesn't believe in Buddha, and a Buddha doesn't believe in a Jewish God, and none of them believe in Muhammad. So it's really, they're all atheists, because they don't believe in anything but their little fantasy, truthfully. So they're all atheists to somebody else's shit.
--:-- Joe Rogan: To somebody else's shit. They don't believe in their other gods, so bam, suddenly we're in alignment. I just don't also believe with any of their gods. It's amazing that there are so many different religions, hundreds, literally. We were lost. We needed direction. We needed someone to walk up and go, "I know where the food is. I know where you'll be warm. I know how to heal you sick when you die and come with me."
--:-- Todd McCormick: Right. It's amazing that there's so many different religions. But even though we know that they all say different shit, everyone is willing to die believing that the one they believe is right. Even though there's so many examples of contradicting ideas. For whatever fucking reason, we compartmentalize that when we go down the road of being a Mormon or go down the road of being a Catholic or a Baptist. We just don't look at it. We just say, "This is my team and screw your team." And it's a very NFL mentality.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You know, rah, rah, my team, boo your team. It's all the same shit.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It is all the same shit. When I was in Indiana for UFC, anybody who fought somebody from Indiana, even if they were American, they would boo them.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Because you're not from Indiana. Boo! It's our local boy. It's Hoosiers.
--:-- Joe Rogan: But think about it. Indiana's great, don't get me wrong. But the mentality is so fucked up that you're booing against other Americans because they're not from a similar place. They're not within a certain distance of where you sleep. So you don't even like them right now. Boo! He's going up against our guy. We don't just have Americans versus the rest of the world. We'll go down to neighborhoods. We'll break it down to neighborhoods. We'll break it down to the Hatfields and the McCoys.
--:-- Todd McCormick: The problem with Indiana is there's nothing else to fucking do there, and they're not known for much in Indiana. And so that movie *Hoosiers* came out. Everyone was like, "Sports is now our big thing." So now it's like, seriously. The movie came out because sports is a big thing.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Right, right, right. But they're so proud of that movie because that's all they have living in Indiana.
--:-- Todd McCormick: They used to have this thing called the Indianapolis 500. That was kind of big to rednecks, too.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, they have a lot of shit, dude.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, so it's very sports-y.
--:-- Joe Rogan: We've got to bring farming back to the Midwest is what we've got to do. Weed farming.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You bring it back to weed, right? Not weed, man, but hemp. We need hemp, man. Look, Farm Aid right now is in its 25th year, and the problem with it is 25 years, and they've gotten where?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Because all these people they're trying to convince, they've built their farms on corn and cotton, are completely wrong. And they're not going to have any economic independence back until they get their hemp back. In Indiana, John Cougar Mellencamp came onto the screen, and they booed him.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Really? Boo. In Indiana?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yep. He's from Indiana.
--:-- Todd McCormick: They didn't get the cue card. He's a liberal.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, he's liberal. Fucking liberal. Whoa.
--:-- Todd McCormick: They got Willa. They got my daughter. I need to find her.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You came high. It was crazy. They showed him. I expected everybody to go apeshit. Boo.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Wow. Boo.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You know, in Ohio, the farms are getting so bad that they're closing farms left and right. A lot of the farms are turning into shopping centers. Where my mom lived, just in five years, used to be farms everywhere. And now it's like commercial buildings. And they're losing all these farms because there's no money in it or something's not going on right in the farming industry in Ohio.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, it's very difficult to run a farm and make a profit. It's incredibly difficult. It's so fucking hard. Especially when you're up against unfair trade practices and fuels that come from 9,000 miles away.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, how about seeds? You don't even own your seeds when you're a farmer. When you get seeds from Monsanto—
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, GMO is a big deal.
--:-- Todd McCormick: And hemp is the one thing that we need to really push that we don't have GMO control of. We have to stand up and ask for our civil rights back. We have to demand them back, in fact.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, let's explain the seeds thing, though. What I was saying is seeds, when you buy seeds, if you're a farmer, you buy these seeds that have been made by this company.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Monsanto.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, you don't own those seeds. You got those seeds, and when you plant your new plants and you grow, like, say, if you grow peppers, you can't take the seeds out of those peppers and grow more peppers because you don't own that.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's right. You don't own that. They will sue you.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Is it like copywritten?
--:-- Todd McCormick: They will sue you. It is. Yeah, it's incredible. Monsanto has actually people that go around and test crops of people that they suspect are using a generation away from their last seed.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Wow. And it's really scary. How crazy is that? Now, can you take those seeds and make new versions of that seed?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Or it can't have any trace of it at all? Is it even traceable?
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's genetically modified so they know what the genome of this particular plant that they've created is. So if you have that shit in your field, you have to pay them every year. Every year. You have to pay for new seeds. You can't – the way people always did it is you grew tomatoes, you took the seeds from the tomatoes, you grew more tomatoes. You can't do that now. It's illegal.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Wow. That is the nuttiest shit ever. And that's the number one reason for genetically modifying food is to control the market. And that's the number one reason also why marijuana will always remain illegal to a lot of people. Or they'll want to keep it illegal rather is because they can't control it.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You know hemp is grown in every industrialized country other than America. It's amazing. How crazy is that? Canada, right up north, right above us. They're growing it. They grow all of the seed products that are in whole foods and all that nutrition stuff. So all this is money that farmers could be making. All this shit They're stealing from them. These cunts. The government is stealing from them. And it's stealing it by denying them their own history.
--:-- Joe Rogan: It's the best country everywhere. It's the fucking best country. Proud to be an American. At least I know I'm free.
--:-- Todd McCormick: They're gonna bomb California.
--:-- Joe Rogan: What are they gonna do? Proposition 9 takes over? Proposition 19? I was thinking gay. One of our eight. When that shit goes into effect, if and when, it's going to change the culture. That's the big change. It's going to be in people's behavior. Because you can talk all the paper you want, but the most fascinating thing to me is what it does to people socially. It changes the fuck out of human beings.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, you know, some of the things that people are coming out against Prop 19 is saying that it's going to lend itself to corporations. And it's not true.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Who's saying that? Who's saying that?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, believe it or not, we have a lot of people that are in the medical marijuana industry that don't want to see Prop 19 pass because they're comfortable right now and they're profiteering. And they don't want to see a status quo change. And it's really sad because these are the people that benefit the most when their local communities allow them to start selling to anybody over 21 without a doctor's note.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Right. But the doctors who've been making their living for all these years giving away prescriptions and charging $150 a pop, that's that source of income these guys have.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's the problem. The doctors were historically wealthy, and they'll do fine actually practicing medicine, I'm sure.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Maybe, but when you're set up for years and years and years just giving out medical marijuana prescriptions, and you're comfortable with it, then all of a sudden something's going to come along to make your business go away, and you're going to have to come up with some whole new business. If you're a selfish douchebag, I could see where you'd be like, man, I don't want this to pass.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Isn't that why the alcohol beverage industry is giving to the campaign against us? Of course. Isn't that why all these self-interested companies are stepping up?
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, it's all the same thing, but we don't expect it out of the medical marijuana doctors.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Another lie I heard was that big tobacco money is behind this when it's such bullshit.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Proposition 19?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yes, when you can look up and see where all the money came from. The dumbest thing ever. Realistically, though, Prop 19 was passed by somebody that, as somebody I've known for over 15 years, he's a really good person that really just wanted to do the right thing. He wanted to put forward a more liberal initiative, but he had cash, and he polled the initiative, and he found that more liberal initiatives were not polling well enough to actually pass. So he actually pulled back, pulled back, pulled back on the verbiage until he got an initiative that polled well enough to pass. And what a lot of people don't realize is that this is not the means to the end. This is just a means to the end. It's not the end. It's just one small step in the evolution of getting our freedoms back. And this Prop 19 is going to be one step closer to having our rights back. And what a lot of people aren't talking about, which is pissing me off, is that we got Meg Whitman buying her way into the governorship. And we have Steve Cooley, who has been the guy down here in L.A., for those of you who don't live in L.A., who has been closing down all the Los Angeles pot clubs. And if this guy gets the top cop position in the state of California and Prop 19 loses, all of these idiots, and I'll say you are idiots that are going against Prop 19 that are selling medical marijuana, are going to lose your businesses and lose your freedoms. And the only thing that's going to protect you right now is if everybody in the state gets the rights that you have been getting for the last 14 years since medical marijuana.
--:-- Joe Rogan: What's that cop's name? Let's not concentrate on these dildos. Let's concentrate on that cop. What's the cop's name?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Steve Cooley. This is the guy that's running for attorney general and he's basically running as somebody that's against the death penalty. And in California, you might as well be running against somebody unopposed.
--:-- Joe Rogan: He's running against someone who's against the death penalty?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yes.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, so he's running unopposed in that sense.
--:-- Todd McCormick: He is absolutely. And when he gets in, his agenda is to do in the state what he's already done in L.A.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, why does he want to shut down medical pot stores? Ideologically?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Who knows. Who knows what he's invested in. Who knows what his reality is from. It's whoever is a part of his campaign. It's all part of his life. Who knows who really he's loyal to in that sense. But there's something. There's some campaign contributions. There's something. There's something going on. I would love to be able to follow the money forensically and see exactly what changes these people. Because in some ways, there's got to be strings pulling them. And it's not cheap to run a campaign in the state of California. You need to get on the side of people with a lot of money.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, that's where that Meg Whitman chick is strange. And hot people don't have a lot of collective money.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Oh, Meg is blowing big money. She is very, very rich.
--:-- Joe Rogan: What was her position in eBay? She had something to do with eBay. She, I thought, founded.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Not founded. She was the one that was brought in and brought them from being a very small company to a very large company. She helped organize them, and she rode their growth curve.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Okay, so she made a ton of money off eBay, and now she wants to be the governor. And she's spending how much money to do this?
--:-- Todd McCormick: She's already spent over $100 million of her own money to become governor.
--:-- Joe Rogan: $100 million for a job that pays $200,000 a year? Google it, people. How much does it pay? It pays nothing. And this is a scary part. It's like, what do you think she's going to accomplish with this $100 million influence? What is she doing this for?
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's a testament to their ego. It's building a big, you know, why did Arnold do it too?
--:-- Joe Rogan: And you know, this is the part. Did you just turn my volume down?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No.
--:-- Joe Rogan: This is the part that kind of bothers me is that this is more of what we've had for a long time. It's just that now we're looking at it and we're grossed out by it. But don't think before newspapers and internet carried the word that robber barons weren't running politics going back to the 30s and 40s and 50s. And when I say they, I don't mean to sound like some conspiracy nut. I mean to sound like somebody that's realistic about the fact that alcohol got together after prohibition and went, yo, who's our competition? Oh, these kids are smoking this loco weed out of stuff. And then we should go after that. Let's look at it this way. But that's true.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Okay, okay. This Meg Whitman woman, she is obviously very wealthy. So it's going to be very difficult to buy a person who's very wealthy. She's very wealthy. So why would this very wealthy person want to stop medical marijuana in California? Because that is what she wants to do. What would be her motivation? Because it would not be financial, right? She doesn't need the money. She's paying $100 million to become governor.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You don't think that alcohol companies for sure are not giving her $100 million to kill weed.
--:-- Todd McCormick: When you have that much money, Joe, it isn't sitting in a locker at the edge of your bed. It's sitting in investments. And I'd love to know what her portfolio is vested in because she has people that are actually standing there saying, this is what I'll advise you to do. And anybody that's advising somebody that has literally hundreds of millions of dollars vested away is going to say, listen, this initiative is bad for your liquor investments. It's bad for your pharmaceutical investments. It's bad for your petrochemical investments.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So you think it's purely a financial decision on her part?
--:-- Todd McCormick: I think a lot of why we're dealing with prohibition and why we're dealing with people that are against it is because of the financial connections they have. And the more wealthy they are, the more people lean against them. How few, in a sense, do we have of you? Because here you are a guy that made it in TV. Five years on news radio, five-plus years on Fear Factor. You have a career. You will have advisors around you saying, listen, Joe, if you do stupid stuff, it's going to not get you the big jobs. It'll pay a lot of money. And then I'm not going to make money. So are those persons going to advise you to go be the activist that you've become? Or are they going to say, bro, really? Because I know that a lot of other actors have to stop and think, man, I won't get hired if I start getting all radical. And that's what they really believe. So they tow the line. You are so rare because you haven't towed the line. He said, fuck it. I'd rather be happy and be myself than be some slave to a corporate dictation.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, well, you don't have to do it that way. Those guys are pussies. A lot of them are. That's really what it is. But when I look at it, you can be yourself as long as you're a nice person.
--:-- Todd McCormick: But how few Woody Harrelsons and Joe Rogans do we have speaking up for the right reasons?
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, you know what? A lot of people have families and they want to play it safe and they feel conservative and they get paranoid and they don't trust in the greater good of humanity and people's ability to see what they're saying. They don't have faith in their ability to express themselves so that people understand the point of view that they have and where they're coming from.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Right.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I have confidence in my ability to express myself.
--:-- Todd McCormick: And you do it for us all in a way that—
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, I think it's important for everybody. I think everybody should and would do it. If you're a rational thinking person, why would you live your life pretending to be something other than who you are? Why would you not want people to know about something that's radically changed the way you look at the world? Why would you not want to? Why, because fucking Meg Whitman says it's bad? Look at that bitch. Get the fuck out of here. Did she quit or get fired from eBay? I don't know. She's a woman who wants to be in control of things. That's always freaky to me. I don't need a mom. Isn't eBay, 75% of eBay's audience stoned people in the middle of the night buying shit? She should know her audience.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I don't know. She probably pulled a Sarah Palin. She probably got fired.
--:-- Joe Rogan: She's whacked away for more lucrative investments. It's creepy, man. Women that want to run shit creep me out.
--:-- Todd McCormick: No. I know it sounds gross, but it's totally true.
--:-- Joe Rogan: No, it shouldn't sound gross. Hillary Clinton, she doesn't creep you out?
--:-- Todd McCormick: She is a creeper. Creeps me the fuck out.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Right. Condoleezza Rice, if Condoleezza Rice was running things, don't you think you'd freak the fuck out? Way creepy. But there's a lot of creepy guys. Dick Cheney creeps me out. It's creepy too. I'm not saying I want guys running shit, but at least they've been doing that forever. When a chick wants to hop in there and compete with the men, I'm like, what are you, crazy bitch? What are you doing? You're not balanced. You ain't no fucking yogi. You're not going to see through the maze. You're fucking just as crazy as the men, if not crazier, because you're a woman. And because they're going to prove that they're tougher than the men they're replacing. I was terrified. That scares me. There was a moment where Hillary Clinton was running for president where I was thinking, you know what? She's going to win. What if she wins? And she gets into a position where one of these crazy fucks from another country tests her because she's a woman. I mean, assuming that political power is real and that the president really has any say and that anybody in another country really does pay attention to him, that it's not all this big, gigantic Bilderberger meeting group, assuming that a president is real. Could you imagine what Putin would do if he sat across from fucking Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin at some sort of negotiations? It's horrible. He would crush them. He would mock them.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, because most cultures put their most intellectually capable people in power and not their best idiots. They're class clowns. It's not that men should be running shit. It's not. It's the most capable people.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I think the idea of the alpha, the idea of having a leader is fucking ridiculous. I think it's some archaic shit that we have to figure a new way around. So I'm not saying that men should be running shit. But I'm saying that anybody who's a woman that wants to run shit, that's kind of crazy. You don't even have a dick. Why are you trying to control everything? What are you doing? Why are you trying to fucking grab the reins? What are you doing? I don't want to be president. Okay, I don't want to be a leader. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I am better than a woman who would be doing the job. I'm saying when I see a woman who wants to be a leader, I understand the man wanting to be a leader. It makes sense to me. Even if I don't believe in it or agree with it, I understand it. When I see a woman that's wanting to do it, I'm like, look at that crazy bitch. That's what I think. I think you want to be the king of the world and you're a chick? Whoa.
--:-- Todd McCormick: But yet Iceland's not in wars and they had a female president.
--:-- Joe Rogan: They ain't got shit over there. It's frozen.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I was starting to think of all the female leaders around the world. I'm like, there's a lot actually.
--:-- Joe Rogan: It's totally sexist to me. A whole lot of queen Beatrices. It's totally sexist. Don't get me wrong. But I don't think anybody should be a leader. I think the whole idea is based on some leftover fucking shit from back when we were a tribe of 200 monkey people. And we needed a leader to protect us from the other monkey people who wanted to rape our women and take our food. I mean, that's what it is. The idea that one person can represent the whole country like a president, I don't give a fuck if he has a cabinet. I don't give a – the idea that there's a one guy that stands there and, ladies and gentlemen, the president of the United States. You know, like, come on.
--:-- Todd McCormick: He's just the voice, though.
--:-- Joe Rogan: But it's even the voice, even the figurehead, even the representative. It's a descendant of royalty.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It certainly is.
--:-- Joe Rogan: It's an avatar. It is. The whole idea is ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. But they created our whole structure in America to compete against what they were fighting. And then they became that and worse. And they became way worse.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Right. Way worse.
--:-- Joe Rogan: It's beautiful. I love this. I'm going to hear so much shit from my female friends. You don't think women should be running things? What does that mean? You think men do it better? Maybe men have been doing it wrong for so long. Maybe it would be good for a woman to give it a try.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You're definitely comfortable in your relationship, John.
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's not a worldly thing to say if she's a woman. Meaning, like, I would never – you know what I mean? I'm not going to be like, yeah, fuck, women should be presidents. You know, right now I'm like, yeah. What was his name, John Bobbitt? Women should totally be presidents. What are you talking about?
--:-- Todd McCormick: He's saying he's afraid to get his dick cut off when he goes home, and he's obviously saying you're not.
--:-- Joe Rogan: No, bro. What he's saying is – you misread. He's saying he's trying to pretend to be someone indifferent so he's attracting females. I'm not going to start bashing the female race right now.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's what it is.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I'm not bashing the female race. Listen, most women... Well, the women that take that are cunts. I'm not bashing the female race because I'm not bashing the male race that doesn't want to be president. Most of the male race doesn't want to be president. You don't want to be president. It's not a male thing. It's a leader thing. What I'm saying is I understand the creepy fuck control freak men. I understand that instinct. When I see a chick that wants to rock that, I go, what's going on there? You see like Sarah Palin. I guess one way Sarah Palin is just this dummy that got stuck into a nice position and she's trying to make some money. I mean, that's really what it is. But after a while, it's not that anymore. After a while, it's like, well, you're the figurehead for the retard movement and you're just like them and you got a microphone on you and there's a spotlight on you and oh, now you're a fucking problem because you never were supposed to get to this point and somehow you've artificially been inserted into the public consciousness with no merit and now all the retards go, just like me. I hope they rise up and start these fucking tea party rallies. Have you watched any of that shit? They're crazy. God damn. And Glenn Beck is just making gold underwear and gold socks and diamond covered fucking cars. That guy must be just scraping it in with rakes. He's so obviously full of shit too. It's like his game only works on the dumb. But there's so many dumb people. It's a very effective tactic. Him and her together, man. They scare the fuck out of me. Double dumb. Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, if they combine forces like they did at their tea party meeting, dude, they could run for president, man. That's real shit. I hope the first president is a black lady with a lisp that's totally a lesbian. I hope it's like every single horrible thing that's wrong with banning gay marriage, women presidents. I hope it's all combined into one. Like super president that just pisses off everybody. I hope it's an alien.
--:-- Todd McCormick: An alien?
--:-- Joe Rogan: I hope an alien wins in disguise of a human being and then tells everybody. Now that we have a diplomat, we'd like to. Now that I'm in place and I'm running shit, bitches need to sit the fuck down. We've been thinking about exterminating you fucks for about 50 years now.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I thought your concept of us being mold was really accurate.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, it is a giant life form. It's a giant life form on a superorganism. That's what the human race is. The human race is on Earth. Earth is a life form. It is a super organism. We don't think of planets that support life as a life form because it's an environment where life grows, but I'm not so sure about that. If you look at lava and the center and the magnetic core and you look at the magnetosphere and the atmosphere, this is like it's not just a place where life is. It's almost like a system. It's alive and we're in nerve endings. It might be conscious. We don't know what's conscious, man. We're guessing. And we assume that conscious means that it can talk like us and move like us, but we don't know. There's a lot of evidence that there might be something going on inside trees, some sort of a reaction that trees and plants have to people.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, think of cellular intelligence. And that's really where we've always thought, oh, it's in our brain. And then there's this myth that we don't even use our own brain, all of our brain. And it's like, really? How many of us – are you stupid that you believe that your whole body is not actually shooting at all marks right now? And I think that our capability of intelligence is really, really deep.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, that's a metaphor, I think, for wasted potential. People have this idea that we're only using 10% of our brains if we just really concentrate. No one even knows what that means. What does that mean, you're only using 10% of your brain? What's going on with the other 90% of your brain? I think it's useful.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, you know how we know how the brain works? When we blow holes in parts of the brain. We shoot people in parts of their head and then we go, oh, he can't see anymore. I guess that's the part where you see out of it. You know, oh, we drill a hole here and all of a sudden he's calm. Well, I guess this is the part that makes him aggressive. We'll just drill a hole in that bitch.
--:-- Joe Rogan: That was the lobotomy. That's what they did when people got a little nutty. They go, look, what do you want to do? You want to kill him? You want to drill a fucking hole in his head and see if we can fix him? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, it went too far.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, they would fix people by drilling holes in their head. Holla back. Holla back, yo. You know, there's a whole group of humans that voluntarily put holes in their head, and they believe that it alleviates pressure and gives them euphoria, and that the pressure of the growing brain trapped inside the skull causes headaches and all sorts of problems. And in Africa, there's cultures that have done this where they literally, they cut the entire skull. I posted it on Twitter. See if you can find it. I mean, I don't know what you would look under. There's a term for it. There's a term for it for cutting holes in someone's head. Where they call... Shit, I'm fucking up here. Because there's an actual term for it. But people do it on purpose. It's like it's a... See if you can find that. Voluntary holes in the head.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yes. Trepanning.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Leave pressure beneath a surface. Yeah, and there's a video of these African dudes where they do it with no anesthesia and they do it with these stone tools. They like strip away your scalp and cut out your bone. Oh, they don't just do it once. They do it as many as 20 times in a life.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, and they fuck their brains up. Not only that, they have to wear hats because their brain is exposed. There's like a canoe shaped cut out on the top of their skull.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Dr. John Clark was the first one to do it in 1664... 1964. And he taught the Africans how to do it?
--:-- Todd McCormick: They're saying U.S. I'm sorry, U.S. U.S. American.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, no. It might have been just like religion. We brought Christianity over to Africa. It's just his first physician to perform it in the U.S. And he did it as alleviating pressure on someone?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Whoa. It's like, if you can think about it, someone's out there doing it, man. You've seen those women in Suri. Is that where it is in Africa? Where they cut their lip and stick a plate in it? Have you seen that shit?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You've never seen the plates in the lower lips?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know the Siri. I didn't know the name.
--:-- Joe Rogan: It's the most insane thing. It's not just weird. The bigger the plate, the more cows they're worth when they get married. So, like, say if you want to marry my daughter, okay, and she's got a giant-ass plate, I'm like, bitch, that's a 50-cow plate. You've got to come strong, son.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Right.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So dudes would have to give up a herd because she's willing to carry around this giant plate in her lips. What else is she willing to carry around? They bang their teeth out, too. They have to bang their lower teeth out because the plate sits there, and you can't get a full plate in there if you have the lower teeth. So when the plate starts getting big, they have to smash their teeth out. You imagine what blowjobs feel like? How much does Africa suck that people are willing to do that?
--:-- Joe Rogan: You're willing to put plates in your lips and cut holes in your head. The neck thing where they stretch the neck out. It's all Africa. That's fucking crazy. They must be so freaked out that they got stuck in Africa. They're like, "Look, we're going to make this interesting."
--:-- Todd McCormick: Right. Pretty much. Stuck running from hyenas and getting eaten by crocodiles and shit. We're going to have to stretch our necks out. Let's make our necks real big.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Whoa. Who knows why they do these things. Well, how about those heads they found in Peru where they stretched their head out gigantic like a big alien head? They did it to a huge percentage of the population. They put boards on their heads and tied them down and literally extended their head. And people were thinking, well, is this to emulate something? Is it to emulate the gods, all the Anunnaki people? See, this is evidence. They were doing this to try to emulate. Maybe not, because look at these Africans that are cutting the fucking holes in their lips and sticking plates in there, or the dudes cutting holes in their heads and letting the air out. They're not emulating anything. They're just practicing medicine. They're fucking nuts, man. People are nuts.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, they're still kind of nuts, too. Or they're trolling everyone. You know what's freaky? The disease I had as a child, I found out in the mid-'80s, they stopped treating aggressively. When I was in the 70s, I was more a victim of fucking chemotherapy and elective surgeries—or not elective surgeries, but surgeries that weren't needed and radiation—than I was of the actual disease because they were practicing.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah. You know what's fucked up too is the X in histiocytosis X meant that the etiology of the disease was unknown. When I first asked an adult, "Where did my disease come from?" And they went, "We don't know." And I was like, "Wait a minute, who's we? You and me? Or like, we like humanity?"
--:-- Joe Rogan: So what exactly is the disease?
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's like an overactive immune system. It's histiocytosis X.
--:-- Joe Rogan: And it's an overactive immune system?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Right. I would have too many white blood cells, and they would, in a sense, accumulate. Usually it was in bone marrow and areas like that, and it creates blowouts. So my spine, it blew out. My arm, it blew out. My hip, it blew out.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Would it get better if you got sick? Like, if you got a cold?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No. No. But I don't usually ever get sick. What's funny is I don't really ever get sick. Either I have problems where it was overgrowing in marrows and stuff, or I'm always healthy. I went through prison five years. I didn't get a cold.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Whoa. That's crazy. And that's a germ place, let me tell you. You start licking toilets and stuff.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, yeah. I don't like touching doors and shit, though. I'm not a germaphobe, but I'm careful. People are gross.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah. People are nose picking, ball scratching, ass wiping. Just disgusting. Which is why I always recommend you use a tissue from the bathroom when you open the door to any public restroom. I kick mine open like a man.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Not if you've got to pull it.
--:-- Joe Rogan: What are you going to do if you have to twist it and pull it? You use a piece of towel. There's ways you can protect yourself. And if we had hemp, we could be using hemp towel, man. You just have to clean it. We should get some hemp flashlights.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Which is why we have to vote yes on 19.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, vote yes on 19. It's very important. And if you're one of those people out there that goes, "Man, potheads are fucking annoying," unfortunately, there's a lot of potheads that are annoying. Most potheads are just like most people.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, like most people. A good percentage of people are annoying. The reason being is because we do not have a direction book on how to properly live a healthy, fun, satisfying life. We live our lives based on myths and bullshit TV shows and movies. We have this distorted perception of what this fucking world is all about. With the situation we have now, it's so easy for a moron to just drift through and be taken care of every step of the way, and yet have opinions, and yet be able to vote.
--:-- Joe Rogan: George Bush Jr. Well, Sarah Palin, man. That's way scarier than him. At least he was a man. That's right, I said it. I don't give a fuck.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Gary Coleman. We can vote. Angry as fuck. I'd be angry too after his whole bad life.
--:-- Joe Rogan: The saddest part of his life. When he was in the hospital, dead, dying, and his fucking crazy cunt ex-wife takes a picture and sells it to Matt of him all strapped up with pipes and shit, dying in bed, and she's right next to him with her like dead—
--:-- Todd McCormick: She did that?
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah. Dead. Fucking rubber face. Just like didn't have any emotion in her eyes. Nothing. Like, "Yep, here he is. He's dead. And this is me. I'm next to the dead guy."
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's horrible.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, it's gross, man. She probably has that shit on mouth pads. I'm pretty sure it's true.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Whoa. I've never seen that. I did not know she did that.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, it's pretty dark, dude.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I'm learning. I'm learning. Well, you got it saved even, huh?
--:-- Joe Rogan: I think I should. Whoa. Usually I do.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I can't thank you enough for coming out and supporting Prop 19, man.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, dude, you know I enjoy the marijuana. So of course I've got to support Prop 19. A lot of people have been really confused on what this really does, man. That's been a big problem for us.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's what I was talking about. When I'm saying most people, when you look at potheads and you think they're annoying. Really, I'm finding them annoying right now because I can't believe all these people I was working around that I thought was working towards a common goal are now working against it. A lot of people are against Prop 19.
--:-- Joe Rogan: For financial reasons?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Financial reasons or just inaccuracies. That's how much most hippies are though. Every time I hung out with hippies, they were trying to make money, making profits and selling.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, there's a lot of non-hippies that are just commercially motivated. There's a bunch of people that have just got in this industry in the last few years. Since SBF420 passed and allowed for clubs, they're trying to make money. Right now they think, "Oh no, you're going to change this and we like this, so please don't change this." That is really what we're up against. When it comes from the enemy within, if you will.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, there's a lot of people that aren't hippies. They're opportunists. I know a bunch of people that are in the business. The people that own dispensaries, they're doing it purely for profit. There's a lot of good ones—Berkeley Patients Group, Arborside. They're all good. They all provide something that's good. Marijuana's good. But there's a lot of people that you wouldn't expect. They're not like old dudes with gray hair and ponytails. They're young dudes that look like they're fucking doing squats.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, Prop 19 is going to make it so these people aren't having to get away with it. They're going to be able to service their neighbors who have a right to have pot. And everybody in the state is going to have a right to grow pot. That's going to be a big, big deal.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, so all these people that are selling it, the shit's going to go under because no one's going to need to buy it. You can just grow your own. It's so easy.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, you're going to see the prices drop, thankfully.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Radically. Radically. And profits are going to drop. Right now, it's the liquor companies. It's the big drug cartels. These are the people that are against us.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I'd be more than willing to pay exactly what I'm paying right now. Just keep making it just as good. I'll pay just as much. I'm not growing a shit.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, can I say this, though? There's always going to be $1,000 bottles of wine. And there's going to be people that do things with a high quality. Grandma could grow better pot than me, for instance, and you'll want Grandma's pot over mine. That's reality.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I want to bulk like Cheetos. I want to just be like piles of it. I've just been like throwing joints out my window.
--:-- Todd McCormick: The only thing about that, though, is that it doesn't really lend itself for quality with quantity. When you have large amounts of it, you don't have as good a quality control as in smaller batches.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Now, let's talk about one thing for the non-marijuana smoking amongst us. This is one of the things that really fascinated me the most when I first found out about marijuana. When I was a kid, I thought marijuana was bad for you. It made you stupid, all these different things. But when I first started smoking weed, the thing that fascinated me the most was that there are two completely different strains that have very different effects.
--:-- Todd McCormick: They're not different strains. Okay, let me break this down. There's a lot of confusion in this. Before I went to prison, a friend of mine, he wrote *Marijuana Botany*, and he later wrote the book *Hashish*, been revised. His name is Robert Carnel-Clark. He's forgotten more about cannabis than I've had an opportunity to learn. While I was in prison, these scientists actually looked at the specimens of sativa and indica. And sativa and indica were questions. So if I walked up to you with seeds, Joe, it would actually be, "Does this make clothing and paper and all this stuff? Or is it like India?" Because if you look up the word indica, indica means "of or like India." When you go to India, all of the cannabis that's grown there is indica because it's in India. But when you go there, you'll find tropical varieties down by Goa and northern varieties up by the area that's now Pakistan and Hindu Kush. That is the entire range of cannabis, and it's all indica.
--:-- Joe Rogan: The history lesson is interesting, but for everyone today who wants pot, there's two different effects. Indica makes you sleepy, and it makes you couch weed. It makes you what a lot of people think of as a stoner. Sativa is a totally different experience, and it makes you much more introspective. It makes you start looking at fucking telescopes and space documentaries. So if it's not a strain, what should we call it?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, it's an equatorial variety. It's from near the equator. Let me break this down.
--:-- Joe Rogan: There's two different effects, though, correct?
--:-- Todd McCormick: It is. But think of it like this. In the 60s and 70s, all the pot that was coming into America was like Acapulco Gold, Michoacan, Maui Waui, Jamaican. All of these strains were from near the equator. Tropical. They made you happy, horny, well-organized, wanting to do things like protest. Then the hippies went to Afghanistan. They found this short, fat-leaved plant that they thought was indica, and they started mixing it with all these tropical varieties like Maui Waui and Thai stick. They shortened the time it takes to flower cannabis, and they picked varieties that yielded the most amount of pot because it was prohibited.
--:-- Joe Rogan: The reason being is that the ones that were equatorial, the ones that were growing on the equator, needed a longer cycle of sun.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Right. Because they're in a 12-12 growing cycle. Those are the ones that have the different psychoactive effect. The ones that come in contact more with the sun are the ones that make you—not so much more with the sun. It's just the varieties that develop near and around the equator where there was a longer cycle. They wake you up.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So to be grown in America, they have to be grown indoors.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yep. And then what happened is the hippies started breeding this Afghan with all of their tropical varieties. Through the 80s, we kind of developed this one-hit wonder pot that took away all that good energy. Now, for me, I always smoke haze. I like super silver haze and then a high-by haze.
--:-- Joe Rogan: For people who don't understand what you're saying, haze means sativa.
--:-- Todd McCormick: In a sense, it does. In the sense of our terminology of sativa. But sativa really means "most useful."
--:-- Joe Rogan: Okay, that's true. But that's not how it's used in dispensaries.
--:-- Todd McCormick: They're changing. Indica and sativa is how it's used. Sativa is the heady, more trippy space weed, and indica is couch weed. High energy. Indica is low energy.
--:-- Joe Rogan: My whole point in the beginning was I did not know there was two different types of pot. I thought pot was pot, and then all pot had a similar effect. Some pot may be stronger than other pot, but it's basically all pot. You'll either get really high or whatever, but it's not the same. It's not even remotely the same. There are two different experiences, and almost everyone is used to indica because indica is the easiest shit to grow. Indica is the shit that you're getting if some dudes are coming down from Canada growing in the forest. It grows the fastest and yields the most. Now that we're getting through Prohibition, we'll see these varieties that take longer and yield less but have a profoundly different effect on our energy and our thinking.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Exactly.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So how is it wrong, what I was saying?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, it's not sativa. Everybody's calling it sativa, but sativa really means hemp. It's Indo-European hemp varieties.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Right, but we've decided. They're all just names, though. But everyone universally in the pot community, they're looking at two different things, indica and sativa. That's what they called it, right? That's universally in the pot community. They're all just a noise you make with your mouth to describe something.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Absolutely.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Okay, so there's two different things.
--:-- Todd McCormick: But we'll be making a different noise soon.
--:-- Joe Rogan: We're not going to call it sativa and indica?
--:-- Todd McCormick: We won't call it sativa.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Well, it's going to confuse the fuck out of people. That's what it is. Right now, what are we going to call it? High weed and couch weed?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, no. We'll call it names like Arrowhead or Avion or whatever we're calling that water at the time. We don't go, "Give me a bottle of water" when we're sitting in a five-star restaurant. We say, "Do you have Avion?"
--:-- Joe Rogan: No, I say bottled water. What am I, a fucking water connoisseur? I just want water.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Okay, now trip on this. The same way right now you walk up to a weed counter, it's almost like the same thing because you can't make distinctions like you do liquor. When you walk up to a bar, you know the difference between wine and whiskey. If somebody orders whiskey and they hand you wine, you're going to be like, "Yo, douchebag, this isn't what I asked for."
--:-- Joe Rogan: Right, but when I go to the pot store, I say, "Hey, where's your sativas?" "Oh, we got Jack Cleaner, we got Trainwreck." "Give me some of that Trainwreck." And that's what we do.
--:-- Todd McCormick: But technically, all drug varieties are indica.
--:-- Joe Rogan: What? No. There's two different types, though. When you go to India and you get indica and it's from Goa and it's tropical. Fuck India. Indica sucked my dick. There's two different experiences. We've broken this down. For people who don't know, practical knowledge is very important. What all he's saying is all nonsense. There's two different experiences. There's the couch weed, and there's the weed that makes you think about the universe and want to be creative. So that's sativa. That's what they call it. The indica shit is OG Kush. "I'm going to take a nap and eat Cheetos all day." That's what they're selling it as.
--:-- Todd McCormick: OG grows very much like a sativa, just so you know. It's long and leggy and grows tall and has small buds. I hate to break that. It's a more potent version of the indica. But you want to know what's weird? My haze, your sativa, came back at 23.7 THC. And my OG Kush, your indica, came back at 20.6. There was a 3.1 difference in THC.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Right, but aren't there a bunch of different things—cannabinoids other than THC—that make up the high? It's not just THC.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, actually, I think that there was a doctor—
--:-- Joe Rogan: By the way, we should point out that Todd knows his shit. Where's your book? Before we go any further, you're like, "Who's this guy talking all this shit about weed?" Well, there was a doctor at the Institute. Fucking faggot, what does he know? This is what he knows, bitch. He's got a book, *How to Grow Medical Marijuana*.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You're out of Europe.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, I'm right here. No, no. I came back. It's on a delay. This is a book, *How to Grow Medical Marijuana*. And it's not in print right now, right?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No. To get it, you go to Amazon.com and maybe get a used copy.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, you probably do that, right?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah. My next book, *Grow Medicine*, is going to come out. I'm going to be talking about strain-specific growing.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, you could write a lot of books on growing weed. It's very complex, isn't it?
--:-- Todd McCormick: It is. And there's a lot of differences. When people try to say, "Oh, it generalizes how you grow pot," you can tell they've never grown pot. Pot is very different to grow.
--:-- Joe Rogan: This is a question I need answered because I do not understand it. Now, there's a female plant and a male plant, and you need the female plant where the medicine comes from, where weed comes from, right?
--:-- Todd McCormick: There are psychoactive properties in both.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Right, but they become one or the other. You have to get the males out. Explain what happens, how it pollinates.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Males are sex much like men. In irony, you'll find funny.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Is that normal with other plants, by the way?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Some plants are either dioecious or have both sexes on one plant. Cannabis actually can be both because it does hermaphrodite and sometimes spews on itself. So when you get a male, you've got to get it out of there. Males actually create their pollen sacs faster than the females actually develop their buds. In hemp, for instance, the males pollinate and then die off early. The Roman Catholic Church miscategorized the male and female plants, even though the female had the seeds and even though the male blew the pollen. They didn't like that the male died off early, so they called the male the female and the female the male.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Wow. Yeah, they were heavy into their dogma, you know? Can't rattle their cage. That's fascinating. But the way cannabis works is—so how do you tell? So say if you've grown a bunch of weed plants, you have to keep an eye on them bitches because they're all males. It's like certain leaves, like little tiny ball leaves.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It's not leaves. What they do is they develop these little male pollen sacks. They come off the plant and they hang like little ball sacks. They open up, and then the pollen—this is a male flower open. The pollen is carried to the—if you've ever seen little red hairs on your pot, those are the sex glands. They are what the pollen is used to.
--:-- Joe Rogan: They don't get you higher at all.
--:-- Todd McCormick: What?
--:-- Joe Rogan: The red? Yeah, the red hair doesn't get you higher at all.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, the red hair doesn't have crystals on it. They just have these non-glandulatory.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So it looks cool, though. You get some weed and you're like, "But that red hair skunk is not what you want." That's funny because it's so pretty.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, when that male pollen hits those pistils, what it does is it causes that to fertilize and the seed grows in that little pod. If she doesn't get fertilized, that pod just swells and swells and swells and the resin develops deeper. That's why we grow seedless cannabis. It's like tricking the female into really producing a lot of resins. She's waiting and waiting to be fertilized and it never comes.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So it makes it more potent?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, potency is an interesting conversation. There was a doctor at the Institute of Medicine who got up one day and said, "I gave my patients 10 milligrams THC and they had a known effect. Then I gave them 10 milligrams THC and one milligram CBN and it doubled the effective dose." I shot my hand up and said, "Hey, would that replicate in nature?" And he said, "I think it would." When I put my hand down, my publisher said, "What did you two geeks just ask each other?" I said, "Basically, he told me to breed hemp in with my drug varieties." CBN is a chemical that's mostly found in hemp. As we have bred away from the characteristics of these equatorial varieties that are more hemp-like, we have actually bred more towards the drug varieties. We've lowered the chemical of CBN down while raising THC up with less of an effective rate. So now we have THC levels over 20% that don't hit us as hard as I believe if we had a little bit of CBN mixed in with it.
--:-- Joe Rogan: How many different cannabinoids are there inside a marijuana plant?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Well, there are over 400 chemicals created by the cannabis plant, and that's the definition of a cannabinoid. The reality is that 60 of them are known to be therapeutic.
--:-- [Something vibrates]
--:-- Joe Rogan: No, your shit's vibrating. It's okay. We'll ignore it. It's coming through the microphone.
--:-- Todd McCormick: What's going to happen is that as science understands these elements of it more, they'll be able to better direct what the different chemicals and also terpenes. Terpenes are these volatile oils that are on the bud. They're kind of steamed off when it's dried. If anybody's ever picked up a cannabis flower and it had good body and you squished it and it still had moisture and you could smell it was real strong, those terpenes were intact. That has a psychoactive effect as well. And a synergistic psychoactive effect with the chemicals.
--:-- Joe Rogan: And the weed's not good if it's over-dried. Joey Diaz likes to take his weed and put it on the heater. I put that shit on the windowsill and let it dry out. It's perfect. Sometimes I put it on top of the TV.
--:-- Todd McCormick: But the reality is, because a lot of what he's getting is people that are hurrying to market, they sell pot that's not dry and not cured. The best cannabis is actually not just dried but cured and then stored for about three months.
--:-- Todd McCormick: And then the oils set up, and they're the smoothest.
--:-- Todd McCormick: And then there's a window of when those cannabinoids actually keep themselves, which is between three months and nine months.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So after nine months, your weed's no good?
--:-- Todd McCormick: After nine months, your weed starts to degrade. Chemically decomposed, in a sense, yes.
--:-- Joe Rogan: So old weed's whack. What about if you cook with it?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Different.
--:-- Joe Rogan: How about different? What if you cook with it? What if you have an old chocolate bar? An old weed chocolate bar? How long does that last?
--:-- Todd McCormick: If you have an old weed chocolate bar older than nine months, the dairy product in it would be moldy and you wouldn't want to eat it anyway. You would have other issues with the chocolate bars.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Even if you went to dark chocolate, they're wrapped up well. Not the kind that the hippies make, probably.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I agree. I have some of those old fucking Nestle's Quick bars that they made with weed. A lot of why I don't eat cannabis that's provided to me by people is because I don't know the conditions in which it's made and I don't trust the way they handled it. Not just measuring, because you don't know how strong it's going to be. Interestingly enough, in Holland, hash bonbons and brownies are considered a hard drug. Totally verboten. You can be 16 and go into a Dutch coffee shop, buy hash on your way to high school, and you're cool. But you can't buy brownies.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You told me about first. You were the first person to tell me about 11-hydroxy, that eating weed. When you eat weed, it goes through your liver and kidneys, and it actually turns the psychoactive chemical THC into another chemical called 11-hydroxy metabolite. That 11-hydroxy is two to five times more psychoactive than the cannabis.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Actually, it's three to five times was the estimate I saw out of the University of Mississippi. And you don't get 11-hydroxy in your bloodstream when you smoke cannabis. It's such a different experience.
--:-- Joe Rogan: You and I were talking about it one night. I don't remember what the context of the conversation was, but it was probably I ate something that was just too fucking strong. And you had to explain it. So many people have had it, and they're like, "I'm on acid or something." It does not feel like pot. And you're not used to it because when you smoke pot, you're only used to dealing with THC in your bloodstream and not 11-hydroxy. So different, man. There's nothing. Ari Shafir, we were on a plane the other day. We were flying to Austin, Texas, and Ari ate a cookie in his car on the way to the airport. Then he got there, and it takes an hour and 20 minutes or so to kick in. We were on the plane, on the tarmac, and he was seriously thinking about telling them they had to let him off the plane.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Because he was that high?
--:-- Joe Rogan: He was that high. I didn't know until we landed. Some model did that the other day I saw on the news. Dave Chappelle did that too. Dave Chappelle had a panic moment on a plane.
--:-- Todd McCormick: It might have been that. That's one of those things that you wonder if you really want to go with it. What if you get off the plane and the fucking thing crashes?
--:-- Joe Rogan: Thank you baby Jesus. I'm now religious. It would be a moment, I guess.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You got your hemp parachutes.
--:-- Joe Rogan: That's what saved George Bush's grandfather. Yeah, right. And the first draft of the Declaration of Independence was drafted on hemp.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Yeah, yeah. Motherfucker. This was an integral part of our history, man, and this is why I'm trying to convince people they need it back.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, Betsy Ross, bitch. They had no other options. Canvas was the only thing they had. There was no cotton gin when she knitted the first American flag.
--:-- Todd McCormick: We only need to look at our history's timetable to realize what we were using before the invention of some of these things. This is all lost information, ladies and gentlemen. If you want to find out more about this, if you're really fascinated, go pick up this book, *The Emperor Wears No Clothes*. It's the one that was written by our late friend Jack Herrer. Herrer is how you say it, right?
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, think Terror. Yeah, Herrer like Terror, he used to say.
--:-- Todd McCormick: His weed's still available, though.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Yeah, you can still buy a strain. There's a strain named after him.
--:-- Todd McCormick: Is there a Todd McCormick strain out there? Thank God, no.
--:-- Joe Rogan: No, thank God, no. There's a Joe Rogan out there.
--:-- Todd McCormick: There is? Is there really? Can I get the plan?
--:-- Joe Rogan: I don't know, I don't know where it is.
--:-- Todd McCormick: How about you make your own, man?
--:-- Joe Rogan: I was just going to say that.
--:-- Todd McCormick: That's what I'm talking about, man. Fuck it, I'll give you permission. This is an officially sanctioned Joe Rogan strain. Will be created by Todd McCormick.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Do you want it to be sativa or indica?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Sativa, son. I don't fuck with that dope weed. Maybe just a sprinkle of indica. A sprinkle sometimes makes you a little silly. Just a little sprinkle. You're going to have to do some research. I'll have you try some.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Thank you everybody for tuning in to the podcast. Once again, thank you to the Fleshlight for sponsoring. I don't know why I hold this up. I can't just say it. I can just say it. But I feel like it's right here. I have to show you that it's really here. But does it light? Is it light?
--:-- Todd McCormick: No, there's no light, man.
--:-- Joe Rogan: There's no light. It's just all flesh. Fuck it. Nobody's fucked this one. I'm not doing it. It's just rubber. It's just rubber. It's just rubber. Oh, that's fucking weird rubber, man. It's pretty good, man. I don't know what's up with that.
--:-- Todd McCormick: I'll tell you what's up. It's better for masturbating.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Do you masturbate at all? Don't lie. Of course you do, right?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Of course I went to prison for five years. What the fuck do you think I did? But if you masturbate, why wouldn't you want one of these? Because this is masturbating.
--:-- Joe Rogan: I could give you a long list of reasons. It just pops right off my head. Cleaning it. Dealing with it.
--:-- Todd McCormick: This is crazy. This is how you deal with it, right? You open up the top, right? So you shoot your load in there, and then you unscrew the bottom, and then you release the crack in there. And you also use the bottom.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Is it dishwasher safe?
--:-- Todd McCormick: Dishwasher? No. That ain't a dish. That's your girlfriend, son. You're not getting that clean.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, yeah.
--:-- Todd McCormick: You attach the faucet to the top of it, and you shoot it through.
--:-- Joe Rogan: Oh, you just stick the load through there. Or you shoot it on your face. You do whatever you want to. Shoot it on your face. I like how you think, Brian. Play us out with a song. What's this song, Brian?
--:-- Joe Rogan: This is called "Walking on a Dream" by Imperius Sun. Thank you, everybody, for tuning in. We may or may not be doing one of these on...