You Have No Idea What You’re Capable of Until You Hear This

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. You are in for one heck of a conversation today. So let me just start right at the top. If you've ever wondered why you feel stuck, or if deep down you feel like you're acting like someone you're not, let me tell you something. This is the truth you need to hear today. I'm talking real talk because we're going to go there today. If fear, shame, regret, or resentment are holding you back and you feel like you can't break free, if you've got big goals but you're the one who keeps putting them off, if some part of you believes it is just too late to change, this episode is going to be your wake-up call because today you're going to meet one of the most inspiring human beings I've ever met. His name is Wallace Peoples, but you may know him as Wallow. Wallow spent 25 years in prison, but this is not a prison story. This is a freedom story. See, when Wallow walked out of prison, he had $1,000, a used iPhone, and a promise to make his life count. Today, he's a media powerhouse with millions of views across every social media platform every single week. He's a truth teller, a man who's built an empire from a blueprint he wrote when he was behind bars. And he says something I'll never forget, and neither will you. There's more people incarcerated mentally in the free world than there are in prison. And after you hear what he has to say, you're going to realize he's right. If you've ever wondered why you feel stuck and how to finally get moving, this conversation is going to shift you. This is real talk about how to eliminate self-doubt, stop waiting, and start becoming the person you know you're meant to be. And by the way, I gotta tell you something. I don't want your kids in the car if you're listening in the car. I don't want you turning this up in the kitchen because this conversation is gonna get passionate. And I've already warned my team, when Wallow starts going, you better keep your hand on the recording dial because holy cow, it's like part sermon, part halftime coach. Your team is down, the coach is mad. he's yelling at you and he's telling you the truth and this is the truth you need to hear because the fact is you're the one in your own way and so i don't want to be hearing from you because this is a conversation for adults and sometimes adults need to hear words that are a little harsh because that's what it's going to take for you to wake up all right i've warned you and here's another warning don't even bother listening to this if you don't want to hear the truth. Don't listen to this if you're not interested in motivation. You still here? Good. So am I. Let's go. Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. I am so excited that you're here. It is such an honor to be together and to spend this time with you. And if you're a shared this with you. I just wanted to personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. You are in for an unbelievable, unbelievable experience today because our guest is one of the most powerful, raw, and respected voices in culture right now. His name, Wallace Peoples. He's also known as Wallow267. He is the co-host of the massively popular podcast, million dollars worth of game. He's a viral motivational speaker with 7 million followers, the best-selling author of two books, including his brand new one, Yes to You, New to Them. He's the chief marketing officer of Reform Alliance, the criminal justice reform nonprofit founded by Jay-Z and others. He's helped raise over $5 million for small businesses, built partnerships with brands like Puma, Foot Locker, and the NFL. He's also given a TED Talk on forgiveness that left people in tears, and he shares stages with everyone from CEOs to formerly incarcerated youth. And here's the part of his story that is a testament to Wallow's unbreakable mindset. He did all of that after serving over 20 years in prison. No college degree, no corporate ladder, just grit and vision. So without further ado, please help me welcome the remarkable Wallow to the Mel Robbins podcast. Thank you for having me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm happy to be here. Thank you for jumping on a plane. I have been a huge fan of yours for a long time. I am so excited to be in the room with you. I'm excited for the person who has made the time to be here with us, to be able to be inspired by and learn from you. And I can't wait to dig into your story, but I wanted to start by asking you this. If you think about everything that you're about to share from your life story, from your experience, from the impact that you're making with millions of people, what do you think is going to change about my life if I take everything to heart and I apply it to the way that I live my life moving forward? What's going to change? You're going to stop caring about things that don't matter and you're going to stop making problems for yourself. That's the most important thing. Stop making problems for yourself. Nobody make problems for us. We make problems for itself. If you don't like me, all right, or if I'm talking to the viewer, if somebody don't like you, that's none of your business, number one. Number two, what they say about you, that's none of your business. That's their business. They own them thoughts. They own everything that they say. They got ownership of that. But what we do is we make problems when we get into their business. You minding their business now. Oh, I don't like Mel. Mel is not this. Mel, fake. She don't really help nobody. Mel, why are you worrying about their business, Mel? Mind your business. That's not yours. That belongs to them. The thoughts belong to them. Stop giving power to other people, words, ideas, thoughts, feelings. Why do they like? A lot of times, Mel, a lot of people don't dislike you. They don't even hate you. Some people just want to hug you and they don't know how to get your attention. So that's what it really be about. And some people just like, Mel got it going on. How can I get close to Mel? I DM-ed a thousand times. Mel don't even answer her DM. She ain't got time for that. She's running. I'm just, but that's the reality of it. Yeah, yeah. But I think if you, if you got to really be able to cut on that fuck it button. The fuck it bucket. The fuck it button. The fuck it button. Fuck it. Like, fuck what they think. Like, as long as you living in that world of every, you're not going to live. Listen, I look at this like this. You, guess what? If nobody told you, you're going to die. But guess what? Caskets don't have no bunk beds. It's going to be you by yourself. Why are you worrying about anybody else? Wait, did you just say caskets don't have bunk beds? Yeah, they ain't got no bunk beds. Ain't no bunk beds in caskets. Like, what you worrying? You got to go by yourself. When it's time to leave this place, you're going to be, and the music is playing, it's just going to be you. It's not about nobody else. Like, we got to get out of here. Mel, do you know one day, do you know one day they're going to be reading your book, they're going to be reading my book, and they're going to be like, yo, they're going to be looking at old videos of us. We're going to be well off and going. That's why you're here. And I tell people, the moves I make is secure the futures of the family members I won't be living to meet. The moves I make will secure the futures of the family members I won't be living to meet. That's all I'm here for. I'm just here to work for some people that I'm never going to meet. You too. You too. You're just here to strengthen your last name up. So it's like, listen, we got to go, Mel. We're going to the party, Mel. You see that party that be going into the graveyard? We're going to be there. Well, let me ask you a question. Why are you motivated by making a better future for the relatives you haven't even met yet? Because that's our job. Why is it your job? Because everybody, listen, the reality is everybody's just not going to be male and wild. They're not. Everybody in our bloodline is not going to be like us. Some people are just going to want to just get up every day and just get a regular job. It's not everybody's job to push and encourage, want more for other people. That's just not it. So why, if we here, why not take on the responsibility to say, you know what, there's going to be some people that I'm not going to meet that's going to have my bloodline that I want to look out for. Are you motivated by that because your family didn't look out for you? No, it wasn't about that. My family always looked out for me even when they couldn't look out for me. See, back in the day, we didn't have nothing, but we had everything because we had each other. That was the community that I come from. My thing is like this, Mel. You got to understand this. Yeah. You got money, Mel. I do now. You can't spend it all. Somebody going to take that money when you get up out of here. Somebody going to run through some money of yours. They going to run through it so quick. They going to do so many things to that money. So it's like, why not do things to help people when you're out of here? That's true. Because you can't take it all with you. No, I've never seen a hearse pulling a U-Haul. No, no. I've never seen a bank teller in the graveyard either. You don't see no bank tellers in the graveyard. I've never seen Chase. Out of every funeral I went to, I never seen Chase in the graveyard. I never seen PNC. I never seen Bank of America, Wells Fargo. None of that shit's there. So it's like, only thing you see is the dash. The most important part of the graveyard is the dash that's on Tombstone. And you're trying to figure out what did they do? What was a part of that? What do you want on your Tombstone? I just, listen, listen. My Tombstone, I don't want speakers on there. I want the music to be playing because I'm going to be dancing because I left it all up here. I'm not going to be crying. I'm not going to be complaining in the graveyard. Every time I go to graveyard, you be hearing people. A lot of people, some side you see, they be music playing, they happy. Some side, they be crying because they didn't do what they wanted to do and they left it up here. So true. So true. You're 46? Yeah, I'm 46. So I read that you spent more than half of those 46 years either in juvie or in prison. Yeah. Tell me a little bit about that. What happened? So what happened is, grew up great family. Rest in peace to my brother Steve, my mom, Jackie, extraordinary woman. You know, that's why I got a lot of my crazy stuff from My grandma I'm loving Strong woman, the strongest person I know My brother Jalau I grew up, my pop Wallace Roundtree My step-pop, Hip I had some great people around me growing up Great family, different size My grandma, Ora, rest in peace Grew up in the streets of Philadelphia Inner cities of America I wanted to be down And because when I grew up And where I grew up at in the ghetto the only person that got the most attention was the person that was still in the American dream, the drug dealer or the criminal. Because he had the fancy cars, he had the jewelry. He dealt with the most beautifulest woman in the neighborhood. So it's like the movie. So as me sitting on the step as a kid, when I see the car pull up, the nice music blasting out, the Mercedes Benz, the jewelry. And I'm like, I'm sitting there, Mel, and I'm like, hold up. You mean to tell me? I noticed Ms. Johnson, Ms. Brown, and Ms. Green, the older ladies, they spoke to that guy getting out of the bins. They ain't speak to Mr. Carl walking down the street as a plumber. I said, I got to go out there and steal the American dream. That's the only people like America only respect the successful criminals. They love them. That's why so many movies made about them. So I'm sitting there. I'm like, yo, I got to be down. I was smart enough to know right from wrong. My grandmom, she taught me a lot. But I got into the crime life because I wanted things that I wasn't willing to work for because I'm a kid. June 30th 1990, I get arrested for armed robbery. Philadelphia I get and I'll never forget when Nanny came in shout out to Nanny she's 91 now she's like 91 but she moved around like she 31 sent my Uncle Tommy to come get me the next week I got locked up again for all my I kept getting locked up so I wound up spending five years in juvenile June 30th 1990 I was 11 for like seven days something like that I wound up kept going back they sentenced me that year to a year and I wanted to spend five years in juvenile. Okay. In and out. So by the time I turned 17, I got locked up for two armed robberies, two firearm violations. Got sentenced to a total of 19 and a half to 52 years in prison. They certify me as an adult. They said, no, you're not a kid no more. You're good with crime. You're not a due crime. How mad were your grandmothers and your mom at you? Because you just kept getting in trouble. Because I can tell, I can just feel their energy right now. They were just like, come on. They was mad. And my grandma used to always say, you're going to get it. You're going to realize one day. Because you know what's crazy? Your grandma older, you saying to yourself, she don't know what's going on out here, but she do. Of course she does. She always tell me, you don't understand, baby, why you the only one that always go to jail. You always go to jail. And I remember one of my homeboys, his mom was saying, y'all can't do wrong wrong. Y'all need to start doing right right. It didn't hit me until later on in life when I was sitting in prison during time. What does that mean? What you mean? You're all doing wrong, wrong. You got to start doing the right, right. Basically, y'all don't know how to be criminals. Oh, because you keep getting arrested. Yeah, y'all can't do wrong, wrong. I mean, y'all can't do wrong, right? You might as well do right, right, basically. So it was like, y'all can't even do wrong. Y'all don't even know how to do wrong. You know what I mean? So it was like, y'all are really not good criminals. Y'all always get caught. Most criminals do, so we're really not that good. So it was like, you know, and you don't think about that. But being you, being you wasn't cool. See, what's the name had a song out back in the day But we heard it, we might have danced to it But it wasn't that cool It was a nice song, you probably hear it on the TV You probably hear it on the radio Huey Newton in the news had a song It's hip to be square But you don't think about that You're not thinking about that It's being outweighed by all the other music that you're hearing When Revenge of the Nerds come out You don't even think, you don't even understand about today You don't know technology gonna come So everything was based on being cool, dangerous. Mel, let's be honest, Mel. You was in school. Y'all didn't want the nerds. Y'all wanted the cool guys. Y'all wanted the jocks. Y'all wanted the guy to come with his caliber. Y'all wanted the fines. You didn't want that. Nobody want that. Nobody want the good guy. Everybody loved the bad guy. They loved Scarface. They loved Al Pacino. They loved, you got to think about that. America loved the successful criminal. They loved the bad guy. So think about it. When you talk about institutions, when you talk about juvenile facilities, Juvenile facilities, prisons is a business. And I need to ask you out there, to everybody that understand about businesses, what business do you know that don't want their customers to come back? What businesses do you know that don't want reoccurring customers? So if I change it up, you're never going to be my customer anymore. So how do I make money? How do, like, so now the counselors is out. the psychs that work in the place is out probation officers is out just imagine that we fix this system and everything is fixed no parole officers no probation officers we don't need a court cloaks we don't need stenographers in the court we don't need a lot of judges we don't need a district attorney we don't need a lot of these people so I didn't understand until later on so then when I get sentenced and it's time for me to go to prison I was scared to death I was scared to death I get sentence I get up to the big house It's a big wall It's called Greatest Full Prison They open that gate Gate closed behind us I'm shackled up I got shackles running from A belt around my waist The shackles right here I'm cuffed And it's going to my feet To the chains on my feet The main thing that I'm thinking about When I go to prison I'm looking at the TV And you should see all this stuff But you never think it's going to be you Nobody think it's going to be their turn To going to prison when they're part of the life of crime. Everybody think they smarter than the system. So it was just crazy for me. They give us our box. We get our stuff. We had to walk up and we had to go through the general population where the big yard was at to get to the hole in Death Row where they had you locked in because we was juveniles. As we walked through that hallway, I seen some of the biggest muscular human beings I ever seen in my life. I couldn't believe it. They coming out of the yard, their shirts off. I'm like, I can, please don't put me in a cell with him. I don't know what, I don't know. I'm like, I'm just like, please. But they wound up taking a cell hole and the other younger guy that was with me, I'll never forget, as I covered my head with the pillow in that cell, because we shared the cell because we was both minors, I heard him cry as I was crying at night and wishing I was home and wishing I had another chance. And it just was, it just was different. But that started my road and my journey being in prison. And it just, it got realer after that. It kept, it continued, continued to get real. But what happened was I was in the cell, it was hot. Summertime, no air conditioning, none of that. And I got up to splash my face. But when I got up to splash my face, it was like the devil was dancing in the cell because it was so hot in there. Walls were sweating. And I just looked in the mirror and I said, damn, you ain't here doing all this time for being somebody you're not. the power, the power of wanting to be down with a bunch of people that really don't care about you can destroy your life. It can mess your life up, even if it's not about crying. It could be about, I just want to be down with these people in college because they're supposed to be the in-crowd. Or I just want to be down with these people because they do business. Or I just want to be down. It could mess you up because what it do is it removes you from you. And now you got to be somebody else to be accepted by some other human beings that breathe like you, got 24 hours like you, that drink the same water you drink. You shitting me. So once I realized that, it was crazy. I want to go back to that moment where you're looking in the mirror and you're reflecting on the fact that you're doing all this time in prison for being someone you're not. And I'd love to have you talk to the person that's having this epiphany as they're listening to you. And they're thinking, well, I am where I am because I've been being someone I'm not. You. I'm talking to you. You right there. You. You ain't tired yet. You out there being somebody that you're not. And guess what? You just keep losing. you don't feel right. You know you're not where you want to be because you don't feel right, but you choose to take this path because you wanted to be accepted by a bunch of people that don't even accept they self. Because if they accepted they self, they wouldn't put pressure on you to be with them. Why do they need you to be around? Why do they need you to change who you are? Think about it. But think about this journey you're going on and say to yourself, hold up, this might not be for me. This might not be my ideas. This might not really be what I want to do. But the crowd is telling me I should do this. The crowd is telling me this is what's cool. The crowd is telling me this is what accepted. When you gonna say fuck the crowd and start accepting you? When you gonna cut the fuck it button on and say fuck what they think? Huh? What you scared for? Huh? What you waiting for? Like, you think time is on your side? time is not on your side the only thing you got on your side is the decision to let go of everything that's not supportive to you everything that's forcing you to change who you are in order to be a part of this idea of what's right and what's wrong man come on it's bullshit let go get free be you love you respect yourself enough to choose you Say yes to you and no to them Oh yeah that the new book coming out too My new book And buy it while you're at it. Yes, buy it. Yeah. Well, near the end of the time that you were serving in prison, you started writing something called The Book of Life. What was that and what were you writing in it? the book of life is something I wrote in every day and I used to write the book of life was really important because I believe people don't write stuff down. Right. And that was it. That was a major thing for me, but in the process of me writing stuff down, what were you writing down? What do you mean your people are right? I wish I had to bring it. I wrote everything down. Um, the States I wanted to go to, I wrote down the different peanut buttons and jelly. I wanted, when I got out, uh, stores, I wanted to go to movies. I want to watch songs. I wanted to collect in my, in my MP3. I wrote down everything, places I wanted to go. If I seen something in a magazine, I'd write it down, whatever. I will always write all types of stuff down. You know, one of the things that I love about you is that your story proves that all of the excuses you have, I don't have this, I don't have that. I mean, you're in a freaking prison cell, for God's sakes. You still have years on your sentence. And you had this incredible way that you thought about being in jail after that moment. Can you explain that breakthrough to us? I used to tell people, I'm not in jail, I'm in Yale. I'm not in prison, I'm in Princeton. I'm not in the state pen, I'm in Penn State. Right? What does that mean? That means that I'm not just sitting around in here. I'm in here to educate myself. It's not their job to educate me. It's their job to house me. And at this time, what's so crazy about it, my mind was clicking so much because in the state prisons of Pennsylvania, you could buy a TV off commissary. Whereas though you get some certain TV channels, cable channels, whatever. You pay for it. My cellmates, they used to always say, why do you always turn the TV? Because I'm turning the TV all the time. You mean flipping channels? Yeah. And he's like, someone, come on. I was addicted to commercials. I was addicted to advertising and marketing. Because I always say, hold up, man. Big Mac never looked like that when I went to McDonald's. It's be sloppy. It don't be like that. Something ain't right. Then I realized, oh, they outsourced that to advertising agencies. I start learning about marketing. Damn, why is, when they got the car commercial, they got a black person doing it, Latino person doing it, Asian person based off the channel. Oh, what is marketing? Oh, I ran into a book called Damn Good Advice by George Lois. Oh, I'm reading all this guerrilla market. I'm starting learning about marketing. I started learning about advertisement. I'm learning about, oh, they paying all this money for that. So now I'm starting, I'm thinking more. I'm thinking, I'm just looking at that. I'm looking at that. And then one day as I'm changing the channel, I come across this guy, right? One of my mentors, right? When I come across a skinny guy, man. skinny white guy right and I'm like what's going on I look he here the next day he here he just always eating food his name was Anthony Bourdain my mentor so when I see him I'm like hold up Anthony Bourdain taught me in a cell that the world is your playground go play he taught me that the world is bigger than your neighborhood he taught me that. Wow, though. They're waiting for you. Go out there and connect with your people. It's people, places, and things that's waiting for your arrival with a sign on it. When I seen Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown, No Reservations, The Layover, I was like, this guy used to get high. He got his life together. He was a cook in New York City. He had a New York Times bestseller. Life, he didn't let hard times beat him up. And his name, Anthony Bourdain, I watched every show religiously. I never stopped watching him because Anthony Bourdain, he gave me a passport while I was sitting in the cell. He used to talk to me through the TV show. And I was like, damn, because this will happen. When you come from where I come from, if you're not willing to be exposed to other cultures and other ideas, Sometimes you'll miss out on a mentor like Anthony Bourdain based upon his color of a scanner. We work so hard to find so many differences in ourselves when it's so easy to find something that connects us. He connected us because he was a teacher and he was able to say he connected with me because it was like, I didn't know that I was looking for him in our family. In life, the greatest moments is going to happen when you're not prepared for them, when you're not looking for them. And Ant came through. I used to call him Ant. Ant came through and he just, he'd be like smoking a cigarette, drinking a hot tea, eating the craziest stuff. But it was like, wow, little go out there and live. It's waiting for you. It was waiting for me. I didn't give up. I could have overdosed. I didn't give up in New York City. I didn't give up. Ant didn't give up. I didn't give up. And what he did, he showed me that I'm going to get out and I'm going to create what Anthony Bourdain created. But I'm going to show people that's where I'm from. So as I'm looking at Anthony, I'm reading books, stuff on George Lewis. I'm reading all this type of stuff. And I'm in there in this university mode. And that was the whole thing. I'm not in prison. I'm in Princeton. I felt as though like, because I felt as though the information that I could learn here, I could go out there and make his money, make as much money as somebody that's in Ivy League right now. But the only thing different, I had to pay with my life. I ain't going to owe them no back money. I ain't going to owe them no lungs. I ain't going to repay that. I just got to get out here and perform. I got to get out here and do my thing. See, you only get paid for your performance in this life. Performance is when you get up every day and you put your energy into something. You only get paid for your performance. So if you got a nine to five, you getting paid for your performance. If you got a business, you getting paid for what you put into there. You got to perform. And the more you perform, the better you get. If you're an athlete, you go out there and you score more and more points, you won't get bigger, bigger deal. So it's about you only get paid for your performance in life. Nobody's coming to save you. Nobody's waiting for you. Nobody ain't shit falling out the sky for you based off of, oh, I know you. You're my friend. Oh, we went to the same college. Oh, we from the same neighborhood. Nobody give a fuck about that. Everybody trying to win. So perform and win. And if you don't do that, you're done. Well, you were dropping so much wisdom. I cannot write fast enough. And I also do not want to interrupt you. As you've been talking just now, I have three people in my mind who need to hear this. I bet as you're listening and as you're watching right now on YouTube, you have people that are coming to mind. So we're going to take a quick second to breathe. And while we're going to listen to our sponsors for a few seconds, I want you to take a moment and share this conversation with someone you care about. And stick around. We've got so much more to cover. And Wallow and I are going to be waiting for you after this short break. So stay with me. Welcome back. It's your buddy Mel Robbins. I hope you're feeling as fired up as I am because, Wallo, I don't even want to waste time. I really feel like the person who is with us right now has no idea what they are capable of until they hear all the information that you're going to be dropping on us today. So let's just jump right back in. And here's what I wanted to ask you next. You have also said that there are more people mentally incarcerated in the free world than in prison. Talk to me about that because I love this university mode and people use all kinds of freaking excuses to not improve themselves, to not educate themselves, to not learn new skills, to not seek out other mentors. And I think you're right that there's more people incarcerated mentally in the free world than in prison. But what does that mean to you and how do you get yourself into university mode? Because you know what's happened? Tell me. When people used to come the prison, they fresh off the streets, I used to interrogate them. I used to interrogate them about what life is on the streets and the free world because I had it. I never wanted to be the person that was stuck. A lot of people, when your family member go to prison, they're stuck in the time that they was incarcerated. So I didn't want to be stuck there. So in order for me not to be stuck there, everybody that would come to prison, I wouldn't interrogate them. Sometime I would have I would have had a CO on the block, the ones that was, you know, all right. I had them keep my cell as a transit cell. So somebody come and they not be in there for long, for like a week or two. Then I get somebody else because I used to love to stay up and just ask people questions about the free world. So this kid told me about Google in the yard. So we walk in the yard. He said, yeah, it's this thing called Google, man. I can find anything about anybody. I said, yeah, that's decent. He said, I can find stuff out about you. I looked at him. I said, man, you think I'm stupid? I've been in jail, but I'm not dumb. I ain't even on the planet Earth no more. how you gonna find me? I'm in here. Nobody know nothing about me. So I typed my name in here, Wildest People. I'm like, all this stuff popped up. I dropped the phone. I'm like, damn, the feds on me, the CIA, they watching me. I didn't know what was going on because I never seen nothing like this. I've been in prison all this time. This 2000, like 2013, 12, something like that. I don't even know. So I'm like, once I got that, I set up the social media and that's where the 267 come from, Wildest 267. 267 was my prison number, DG267. And when I go to set up the Instagram, somebody had Waller, so I had to add to 267, even though that's the Philly zip code, but it also was my number. I mean, it's Philly area code, but whatever the case may be, when I went on social media and I started seeing people in life, I'm like, hold up. Everybody was locked into an idea of what they think they should be based off of somebody else. And I was just seeing different cities. I just seen a bunch of people doing the same thing. And I'm like, it wasn't like that when I was growing up. Mel, if you're going to school in Boston, you ain't know what they was doing in Duke. If you went to Boston College, you ain't know what they was doing in Duke. You ain't know, because we didn't have no social media to connect it. So now we're living in a world where everybody emulating everybody. Everybody got the same hairstyle. They wear the same clothes. They wear, nobody, like, like you got to think about it. Some of these big people, they would have never got this stuff. They would have never had this influence back in the day because if you ain't get on Oprah or MTV, Nobody knew about you. Correct. So now I'm like, hold up. Don't nobody got no independent thought no more. So I'm like, oh, there's more people out there in prison. It's going to be easy out there. There's more people incarcerated than it is incarcerated because everybody out there walking around with a cell around their brain. And how would you describe that to somebody who doesn't realize that they're in a cell in their brain? Because they're afraid. The reason I say they're in a cell because they're afraid to go out there and do what they want to do. So they even in a cell based off, you're in a cell based off of worrying about people opinions, worrying about how people think of you. So now you can't move. You can't move. You're in a cell when you just, I'm just going to follow what they doing. I don't want to have my own thoughts. I'm a part of this group that I don't even know why I'm a part of this group. But I think it's okay to be a part of this group. And I might only be a part of this group because where I was raised, who my parents are, the influence they gave me. I don't even know why I'm here. It's true. You know how many people that's like, hold up. I'm a part of this. I'm a part of this. And they will argue with you about why you're so wrong about being a part of something. And you like, I don't even, you can't even tell me why you're a part of what you, was you arguing with somebody else and telling them that they wrong and they a part of this over there. Think about that. People is just a part of something based because somebody told them to be a part of something or just because their mom was a part of something, their dad was a part of something, or people in their community was a part of something. They don't even know why. It's true. And then people get to a point in their life and exactly what you said happens. You start to say, I don't really like my life. I don't like how I feel. Why am I doing this? Why am I an accountant? How did I end up in jail? Why did I marry this person? This is the issue. And I realized this is what happened. We don't value the most important thing in every human being life. We use it for the wrong things. We use it for humanity. We use it for the most important thing. in your life will always tell you the truth. Even if you duck it, will always be real for you. Will always show you who you truly are is the mirror. Not your friend, not somebody's show. The mirror will never lie to you because when you look in that mirror, you see who you is when nobody else is around, when nobody else is looking. When you get about the bed and your hair not done, you not got that shave, your breath stinking or whatever it is and you go and you go to splash water on your face. Even before that, you go to use the bathroom and you walk by that mirror and you see yourself. You got all the answers there. You just keep running away from it. You're scared to be you. You're scared to be, the raw truth is there in that mirror. That's the raw truth, but you use it for vanity. And you know what's crazy about the mirror? A lot of times when you go to the mirror, a lot of y'all be getting pimp by people, future perceptions of you. Really be getting pimp. Because when you go to the mirror in the morning, you know what you use it for? use it for dumb stuff. You go to the mirror, especially if you got the big mirror in your living room or where you're getting dressed at, you put all this stuff on, you're looking at it, and you say to yourself, oh, I don't like this. It's not that you don't like this. You don't think the people at work is going to like it. You don't think the place that you're going to is going to like it, the wedding, the party, whatever. It's not even about you no more. See, you're using the mirror in the wrong way. You're supposed to be using the mirror to empower yourself and have real conversations with yourself and really look at who you truly are, but you don't use the mirror for that. You use the mirror for vanity. You use the mirror to keep punching yourself back. When you're going to use the mirror to lift yourself up? When you're going to use the mirror to get forward? When you're going to stop being a scaredy cat? When you're going to grow up? Guess what? Time is not on your side. One day you better realize that. Take advantage of the mirror. How do I do that? Like, I really mean this. I don't mean this like a cliche question, because being honest with yourself can be a very difficult thing to do. So many people sit in the wrong relationship for years. They stay in a job that makes them miserable. They keep making choices that are the easier choice now, but it makes your life harder, whether that's drinking too much or spending money that you don't have or spending time with. with people that really aren't your people and bring you down, how do you have that moment of honesty? Because it didn't happen immediately for you. There was so much shit that went down in your life and so much pain that you had to experience to get to a point where you're like, I'm just done with this shit. I got to this unhappy place by being someone I'm not, and I need to change. So How can I use the mirror, not for vanity, but to truly cause that kind of moment of truth that you need to have in order to change your life for the better? Mel, look at me. I'm talking to you personally. Okay. You know how you say, let them, fuck them. Okay. Fuck them. You got to be violent with it. And when I say violent in the inside, this violence got to take place, not to anybody else. Okay. But you got to be ruthless within to say, you know what? I'm tired of you taking advantage of me. I'm tired of you being in my life. A lot of people is out here sleeping with the enemy. Their biggest hater is somebody that's laying next to them. Their biggest hater is one of their friends. Their biggest hater is one of their parents. Their biggest hater is one of their siblings. You got to be violent about it. Let them fuck them. Fuck them. Say it, Mel. Fuck them. Say it loud and bell. Fuck them. Fuck. On the count of three, we're going to say it together. One, two, three. Fuck them. You got to be like that. We're not going to be here forever, Mel. We got to leave. And until you embrace the reality that you got to leave, you're going to keep catering to somebody else for their benefit. Mel, you got it all. You got money. You got this. You got that. But somewhere in your life, you got to cut that fucking button on Mel. Even Mel got to do that. Melly Mel. Come on, Melly Mel. That's what my friends call me in high school. You got to do it, Melly Mel. You got to be able to, even you. Yes. You got people. There's lots of places. Actually, the more you actually say it, the more successful and free you become. Because you realize you have been a prisoner to other people's opinions. You've been a prisoner to making things easier for everybody else. You've been a prisoner to the easy decisions because you didn't want to make the hard one. and that freedom comes when you are able to truly choose the harder path. Be honest with yourself first that shit's not working. And the main thing that's not working is you and the decisions that you're making. And stop blaming everybody else. Like, that's the other thing. The bottom line is you got to really do the big thing. You got to say, fuck them. you gotta like like because it can't be if you keep because this one it is yeah you keep negotiating with yourself and renegotiating with yourself you're supposed to cut them off two years ago they've been told you that they do not deal with you they do not support you they do not value you know what's even more interesting you know what's even more interesting about this wallow and why this is so important is that nine times out of ten the fuck them that you have to say is really more about your own resistance and bullshit that you're making up in your mind about what you think other people are going to think if you do the thing. Like it's even like before, it's one thing if somebody treats you poorly, that's pretty obvious when it's happening. But you treat yourself so poorly because let's say you wanna start a YouTube channel or you wanna go into real estate or you wanna go back to nursing school. Most people hold themselves back not because of what other people are actually saying, but because of what you're saying to yourself. Well, I can't go into real estate because my friend will think I copied them. Let me tell you something. The reality is, don't nobody give a fuck about what you're doing. It's true. Don't nobody really, like nobody gives a fuck. Like don't know, like everybody keep thinking that day is so important that every, oh man, nobody gives a fuck about what you're doing. Like they don't care as much as you think they care. Like a lot of stuff is a mind game. a lot of this shit be mine and we be battling in our mind and we be like hold up I gotta go this way because they gonna say this I gotta do this because they gonna say this I gotta wear this because they gonna say this man fuck what they think at the end of the day you gotta be willing to have people mad at you but that's why you gotta say yes to you and no to them the discipline of saying no and the freedom that follows get that book but listen Listen, at the end of the day, you gotta get my book, it's coming. Listen, at the end of the day, that's why I created Yes To You. Because it's like, everybody's saying, like, we live in this world where it's dope. If you say yes, you the hero. If you say no you create a victim Like we live in this manipulative world today Everybody is using words Oh I a victim This ain go right This ain go right Listen we all play a part If you fuck me over today, Mel, and I allow you to fuck me over, I like being fucked over. That's it. That's dual accountability, right? I got to be like, we both accountable, right? You said fuck me. You don't I think if it happens once, that's once. If it happens a second time. It always happens a second time because people keep holding on to yesterday. Tomorrow is going to be better than yesterday when you say yes to you and no to them. But if not, you're going to keep reliving it. It always happens a second time. Well, that's the test. That's the universe and God seeing if you're paying attention. It always happens a third time. People is too comfortable with being comfortable. You got to be uncomfortable and really to win out here. You got to be, listen, every, all the winners that we see, nobody see them up all night doing research. Nobody see them in the gym, working out, shooting a thousand shots in the gym. Nobody see, it's uncomfortable. Your body hurt, you ache, you tire, you sweating. Like that's what life is about. But as long as you keep saying yes to them, you're saying no to you. All right, let's be honest. This conversation, can we agree it's a masterclass, mindset, purpose, real life growth, the truth. If your brain needs a minute to catch up, I get it. I feel like mine does too. So we're gonna take a beat. And here's what I want you to do. Text this episode to somebody who needs it. I have a few people in mind who for sure need a little bit of wallow in their life. And while we're taking this quick break and we let our sponsors shine for just a few seconds, don't go anywhere because we've got so much more with Wallo coming up right after this. Stay with me. Welcome back. It's your buddy, Mellie Mel. That's right, Wallo. I love that you called me that, and I love that you're here, and I love that you're sharing this with everybody. All right, Wallo, I got so much more I want to jump into with you. Here's where we're going next. I want to ask you a question because I feel like people change because of one of two reasons. One is pain. That's always the source for me. And the second is clarity. But clarity often comes from these deep moments of pain. When you were about to be released from prison, after being in prison for two decades, you had this video where you said that you had $1,000 saved up from the various jobs you worked in prison, from money that your family sent you, and you were so clear about what you were going to do when you got released. Can you share that? Because I want to unpack the power of that intention and the power of being clear, because I feel like one of the things that really gets in people's way is they don't even, they're not even clear about what they want. And you were so clear that I could tell in the video, I'm like, this guy's going to do this. So tell that story and then tell me about the power of being clear about who you are and what you're out to do. See, when I came home from prison, number one, the first day it was time for me to get out, I was scared. You were scared? The scariest day of prison was the day that they let me go. And I'm going to tell you why before I get to where I'm going. Because I never was who I told my family that I was ready to be. I never was that person before. The person that I said I became, there was no temptation to show that I was that person. I was that person of the mind. But I wasn't that portion off of lived experience and action yet. So I was scared walking out because I'm like, wow, I got to deal with temptation. once I got out there smelled the air breathing oh man when I did that video I said in Nanny Middle Room shout out to Nanny when I put that money on the bed it seemed like yesterday when I did that video I wasn't out of prison that many days I was so clear in knowing if you ever seen that video you know what I'm talking about she might put it in here if you ever seen that video you could see it I knew I spoke with conviction and I'm clear about everything because you ready to know why I was so clear, Mel? Yes, I am. Who the fuck gonna stop me? Ain't nobody worrying about me. Ain't nobody worrying about you. Nobody is going to get in your fucking... Don't nobody care. Who is going to stop you from materializing your dreams? And guess what? And guess what, Mel? Tell me. Americans be teaguing, playing games. What would they got? I said, I'm gonna destroy them out here. They're out here playing fucking games. They don't even know where they live at. I said, I am going to destroy him like I'm an immigrant. Like I just got here. I'm going to destroy him. Nobody is going to stop me. Do you know how easy it is to set a business up? Do you know how easy it is to get a trademark? Do you know how easy it is to do these things? Do you know how easy it is to open up a bank account? Do you know how easy it is to get a passport? Do you know how easy it is to get a real idea? Do you know how easy it is? Nobody block you from doing them. So you mean to tell me, hold up, I could go on one of these sites, and I could set up my whole business. I could just walk in the bank with two pieces of paper and say here in my ID, and they could open up an account. I could get a card. I could get a miracle. I could go on social media and promote my products for free. Like, I'm sure somebody's going to stop me. I'm sure somebody's going to say, no the fuck you're not, Walo. You can't come on from prison and start. Who is going? Don't nobody care. Can't nobody stop me. Nobody is going to get in your fucking way. Can you please tell that to the person listening? Nobody is going to get in your fucking way, but you. Because what happened is, this is how it be. You be going to do your thing, right? You be going to do your thing. And this is what happened. You jump right in front of yourself and say, uh-uh, you ain't going nowhere. You ain't going to be great. No, you can't do it. You're your biggest fucking hater. You. You always talk yourself out of ideas. Soon as you say, here it is. I put the idea down. I'm ready to do it. No, you're not. do you sit back down? I'm sorry. It's so fucking true. You sit back down. You do all this research. You got, listen, we walking around with computers in our pockets. When I grew up, I didn't know nobody in the neighborhood that had a fucking computer, man. You only see that when you go downtown and you go into one of them buildings and the computer was big as this table back then. You walking around with a computer in your pocket. You mean to tell me you could ax a phone or anything? Back in the day, we had to go to a library to figure out something. And some books that we had, first we had to find a book of the information we was looking for and hope they told us what we was looking for. Nobody is going to stop you, but you. Now let me ask you a question. When is you going to stop being the biggest enemy in your life? You're your biggest enemy. Nobody cares. Nobody's going to stop you. So what? They're going to talk about you. So what? They're going to laugh at you. What does that mean? Haters is your marketing team. Let them work. Haters that you're marketing team, let them work. They tell people about you. You know how many haters that get you followers from laughing at you or sending your stuff around to their friends? Look at this clown. Look at this. They did that to me. They laughed at me. So what? They was laughing at me because I was different. I was laughing at them because they all the same. What makes you cool? Look at it. Look at what's going on. The smart, fearless people is out here destroying shit. the people that say i'm gonna sit here i don't care not i'm gonna stay on this chair i'm gonna i'm gonna build my app i'm gonna i'm they're running stuff when you're gonna start running your life because you don't even run your life you know what came to mind as you were saying that is that here you are free and you're building wealth and you're doing your thing easy and you are just doing your thing and the people who are in prison are the ones that are calling you names and hating on you but the haters are helping you build your wealth but but listen you know you know what i'm saying like in the prison of their mind yes because think about how incarcerated you are if you spend any of your time and energy tearing people down online yeah when you could take that time and energy and actually put it into educating yourself or building something that you want and getting out of your own way you talk a lot about energy how important it is to protect it let's talk about energy energy is very important right right you got different levels of energy you got positive energy you got negative energy then you just got floating energy energy that you don't know what the fuck's going on you don't know what you want to do energy I think there's a lot of people with that. Like, yeah, yeah. But because a lot of times, like the reality is, it's sad. And the sad truth is some people just don't got the energy to change. Change is uncomfortable because you got to cut that switch on. You got to be willing to be talked about. I did a post and I said on the post, I said, strangers make you rich. Strangers make you rich. Stop worrying about the people that you know. Stop worrying about the people you went to school with. Stop worrying about the people that you went to college with. Strangers make you rich. Strangers made Bon Jovi, bitch. It made Guns N' Roses rich. Michael Jackson rich. Michael Jordan rich. Just think if only people that was Michael Jordan fans was the 15, 20 people, 30 people, 100 people we know. That's not enough. Stop worrying about, oh, they don't support me. They not want me. Oh, man. Shut up. Strangers make you rich. When you go to Mel's show, there's people you never knew they didn't go to college with you Mel they don't know you they wasn't your childhood friends Mel no no no everybody that Mel was talking about let them, them people that they don't matter the people that support it and understand the mindset shift they matter we spend too much time worrying about the people that's not supporting or the people that's not there that we forget to say, I want to give a shout out right now on Mel, Melly Mel's show to everybody that ever supported Wilder 267. I'm talking about everybody that reposted me, that liked it, even the people that talk bad about me. Like at the end of the day, if you want, if you, if you're talking about wealth, you're talking about getting, you got to have that right energy and you got to have the energy. You got to have the energy to put yourself in position before you get in position. I was a millionaire before I was a millionaire. Let me tell you something. What does that mean? You were a millionaire before you were a millionaire. I was a millionaire before I was a millionaire, and I was preparing for my bank account. I was preparing for everything to come because, let me tell you something, Mel, I'm living in Philadelphia. Tell me. I'm living in nanny middle room, right? So I'm living in the middle room. I used to get on the subway. I had my backpack on, or sometime I walked from Broad and Allegheny all the way to downtown, Center City, Philadelphia, whatever. It depends. I got my earphones on. I'm listening to Sanford. and I'm jamming, I'm singing to myself, I'm laughing. People thought I was crazy because I just dance all through the streets. Sometimes I throw Bruce Springsteen on, Streets of Philadelphia, come on. He's singing, I'm walking through the streets. I feel like I'm in the movie, but I feel like Bruce, I'm like, Bruce, I'm like, yeah, the boss is singing to me. He's singing, he's my, he, listen, you know how when you, every time I come out the house sometimes, like a couple of times a week, I had that Streets of Philadelphia playing by the boss and I'm like, yeah, he's doing my theme music. It's like, I come out, you're not like superhero. Yes, yes. Everyone needs to walk on, man. I'm like, yeah. So I go downtown, right? And I'm telling you, you got to be bold. I was cocky with my imagination. And I'm going to tell you about how me going to prison from 17 to 37, it fortified my imagination. So I came back out with imagination like I was 17. But let me tell you about my imagination. I used to go downtown Philadelphia, the Four Seasons, one of the best hotels in the city, right? I go down there, right? I go to the bar, right? Just give me a hot tea and it's a go cup with lemon and honey. Because I'm like, it's on the top floor. I can overlook the city. I'm the man right now. You got to know you're the man and you got to, listen, you got to know that you him. You got to know that you her before you become there, before you arrive. So I go there, get my hot tea. Right after there, I leave. I go see one of these luxury condos downtown. I'll go look at, because once I realize it, hold up, I can go check out an apartment luxury condo, I could go test drive a car and I ain't got to have no money in my account like that. Oh, it's on. So I'm just preparing myself for the lifestyle and I'm going to live. Like I'm preparing myself. So I go in there and I never forget, I put my backpack down, I go in the condo, lady be sure. Yeah, I'll be sitting back. So what do you think I should put here? Should I put my painting on the wall? Should I put my art here? Should I put the couch there? They're like, yeah, see, what I would do is, and I'm just like, yeah. And I'm taking my time. I'm not in no rush because I'm filling it in. I'm like, I would like to see the, let me see the rooftop. Go on the rooftop, smell the air, overlook the city. Mmm, it's nice. Do y'all got a jacuzzi in there? Pool? Okay, let me check that out. Oh, yeah. Lead air. I go to the dealership. BMW, Benz, whatever. I'll be like, test drive. Yeah, you like to, yeah, let me test drive that. I'm talking about, I want to test drive the most expensive car. Get in that John driver. Seatbelt on. No, hook the Bluetooth up because I need to play my music. Throw my theme music on. Coming through. Window down. Hand hanging. I'm like, this is nice. I get used to this. He's like, what you thinking about it? I said, I'm thinking, man. Let me go a couple more blocks. They in there. They on their phone. They don't even care. I'm just prepping. I'm getting ready, right? I'm getting ready for the life that's coming. You got to be ready for the life. You got to live inside the life that you want before you get the life. And you got to live inside it right here. See, what happened with me that was different than people out here. When I went to prison 17 to 37, my imagination was fortified. I didn't have to deal with the real life issues that tear you down and beat down your imagination. Having getting married, divorce, heartbreak, getting lost, losing the job. So when I came out, I believe I could fly. Well, I also want to unpack one other thing that you were doing, which I think is really important because it's available to anybody. You were doing it in a prison for 20 years, which is when you were fortifying your imagination and it began with the story of Anthony Bourdain. Yes. You allowed yourself to imagine a world where you were traveling to all those places. You weren't just a person watching Anthony Bourdain doing it. you in your imagination taught yourself how to live that before you did. And in imagining it, visualizing yourself there, I believe you were training your mind to believe that it was possible for you because your mind doesn't know the difference between what's actually real versus the things that you allow yourself to imagine. And what's so beautiful about the way you just described, I went up to the Four Seasons. I ordered my tea like Anthony Bourdain. I enjoyed it. I smelled it. You're now pulling in your five senses, which then make your brain imprint on all of this experience. Now your brain is like, yes, this is where I belong. I do belong at the Four Seasons having a cup of tea. I do belong in an apartment that feels like this. And that is an example. And the story is amazing. Like the detail of the arm hanging out, the window down and the themes. I'm no kidding. You weren't. But that is actually how you do it. You invoke your senses and you don't just watch what people are doing. You step into the scene and you've become a master at that because you did do what you said you were going to do in that video. You did turn the thousand dollars in cash into millions. I turned it up. Yes. So what happened after doing all that and preparing for it? Like, how else did you prepare yourself? See, I used to always, like, when I walked the streets of Philadelphia, right? Because I was doing these videos, right? When I first got out, I used to do these marketing videos because I felt as though I was a marketer, right? I felt as though I was an ad agency by myself. So I would go to people's business. I'd be like, damn, I go to Mel's steak shop. I'd be like, Mel, how you doing? She'd be like, hey, what's going on? I'd be like, my name is Wallow. I want to do a commercial for you. You're like, what? What type of commercial You want to do Well Mel You got a steak shop You know what I mean I want to just Let people know About your steak shop She'd be like What you mean I'd be like Mel Do you understand that There's so many There's so many people Living their everyday life That people 15 blocks away Might don't even know You're here What I need you to do I need you to make A real nice steak Mel When you make this steak I want it to be dripping The onions I want it to look great And I want you to Stand right by me And just Only thing I'm going to give you I mean You're going to do this Minute video but I'm going to give you the say something at the end, but I got you. And this is how it will go. What's up, everybody? I'm Wild O2. I'm right here at Mel's Steaks. Let me tell you something. If you want to get a steak, I'm talking about Mel's is the place to eat the steak. I'm talking about this is a different type of steak. This steak right here, I had your tongue breakdance. I'm talking about your tongue will be doing moves you didn't even know your tongue could do. This is the best steak in the city. I'm telling you, it got the peppers, it got the onions. You might don't like peppers and onions, so it won't be on there. Well, you want American cheese, you want whiz cheese, what type of cheese you want. I'm telling you, these steaks is a different type of steaks. You're going to run home about these steaks. You might even go running the Maritime after you eat this steak. This is the type of steak. Hey, Mel, tell them what type of steaks you got. Tell them what you got going on. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yes. So then I leave. Next week, you'll call me and be like, Walo, thank you so much. You can eat here at any time. Because I'm coming to do it free. See, I had to get my proof of concept. Yes. So I do a bunch of places free to get my proof of concept. And then what you do is, somebody will call you, hit you on social media, and they'll be like, you might know, I got a friend. He got a laundry mat, Walo. He want to pay you. Right. So I'm like, oh, man. So because the first time the first time that I really got paid for a commercial is when my cousin Gil called me. Gil called me. He's like, yo, man, somebody want to pay you three hundred dollars. I said, man, I do them drawings for free. He said, you did enough for free, man. What you talking about? Gil, like you did enough for free. They got three hundred dollars. I'm like, oh, yeah, you right. So I would have got it. And then I started charging it, but whatever. But it was like I knew that people need to advertise and I knew that everybody don't see everything. so I became that dude and I just filled my page up with examples like people don't understand whatever you're doing go get examples I'm talking about some of the most some of the most valuable stuff you could do is free when I did my first TED Talk it was this girl named Nicole Purvey that I knew from Philadelphia she called me and at this time I'm charged with what's her name so they called me by the TED Talk TEDx and Lana I'm like TEDx I don't even know who TED is I'm like who the fuck is TED I don't know nobody named Theodore TED I don't know him I know Theodore Roosevelt but I don't know no TEDx or TED talk. I don't know none of that shit. So I'm like, all right, bet. I said, all right. I said, what y'all want? I said, how much they charge? I mean, how much they paying me? I got, you know, what's their budget? I mean, I started asking them because I'm getting more professional now. Yes, of course. I got my one sheet. I got everything, right? Pay me $50,000 here, pay for my flight. Oh, I'm getting all this stuff, right? So what happened is she was like, no, Wala, they ain't paying you none. But what he can do is he get your hotel. So I like I like Nicole you sure I should do it She like wow I telling you this is big A lot of people I don know nothing about Ted right I like she like so I go down there And this was for free And the Ted talk that I did, I got two Ted talks. I got three. I made it out of three. I got TEDx's. I got, I forgive my brother's killer. That was my first Ted talk. And I spoke about me forgiving my brother's killer. And then the second one was fuck it, bud. And I forget it. But when I went down there and I did that, But that was one of the most powerful things that I did after getting my brother's killer. Because to this day, it wasn't about the money I made. The impact was more powerful than the money I made from people booking me and all that. Because I had people in airports, restaurants. They get up and say, man, I really needed to see that video. Talk to me about forgiveness. How did you forgive the person who killed your brother? Because it was an unbelievable pain. that somebody shot my brother. He ran down the street. My grandma and nanny opened the door. He fell in nanny arms. She was like, what happened? He died in nanny arms in the childhood house we grew up at in the doorway. It was so painful when it happened because I'm in a cell and I'm watching it on the news. I'm watching somebody was shot. I'm outside of Philly at the prison. I'm like, that looked like nanny house. And I'm like, damn. A couple of days later, my mom bring his kids up, right? My niece and my nephew, so. And when I seen them and I seen the energy that they had as kids and just like so excited to see me and just so like, I'm like, damn. So much going through my mind. And when I say forgive, I mean be willing to live for somebody in the right way. and utilize this as motivation to get up, to make sure that these babies is all right, to make sure my mommy, because he was the oldest. It was him than me. I was second. So I'm like, I got a big responsibility now. So I think the greatest thing that I was to be able to do based off of my environment, because I come from an environment where revenge is God, get back is God. But I said to myself, you're not going to be my God. My God is a different God. And my God forgive. one thing that I realized is that everybody wants forgiveness but who is willing willing to forgive yeah and it wasn't about no ego or none of that because I gotta always think of a logic as I got older and I'm like what is the logical what I'm gonna do go out there try to do something to somebody somebody do something to me or and they lose me or they lose them and I'm back like so it was the the whole thing was just to sit back and I had time I still had years ago in prison where I was like I got to figure out a way to turn the cycle of violence around in my community and show by example of what forgiveness look like and what living for somebody look like. Because if the cycle, the cycle of crime, the cycle of murder is too normalized where I come from, but it's normalized based off of ego. where I come from a lot of people die based off of ego based off of words based off of emotions and I said I didn't want that to be me and I wanted to be example not for it wasn't a natural thought of I want to be example for other people but I was just like I got to be example to my family and I got to be example to these kids and they got a man that they could count on because my brother wasn't able to fulfill that because his life was taken so it was like that there had me more like Okay. And I had to share that. And what's so funny, he said, you only got like 18 minutes. I'm like, all right, cool. Because nobody else is going to share that. I didn't want to, once I seen what the TEDx says, I said, oh man, I got this. How do you forgive though? How did you actually get to the point where you no longer carry that anger with you? Like that you're freed from it? Like what does forgiveness even mean to you? Forgiveness to me personally, my condolence to anybody out there that lost somebody. Anybody out there, if you lost somebody through violence, my condolence to you. And I know the feeling, so I know what you go through. For me personally, forgiveness helped me breathe because I wanted to celebrate my brother. I celebrate my brother by living for him, being happy, and knowing who he was and having the memory of him and not holding on to this dark part of this pain and this anger of the person that did something to my brother. When I got there, my back was straight. I didn't have to—I was able to breathe. It was like, damn. It was like, I'm not carrying that around with me. It takes a lot of energy to carry anger around for somebody to wear as though the anger can supersede the love in the memories that you have for your loved ones. Because it's so much to carry. You carry and it could be unbearable. So now you're in a way, and I'm not saying that anybody have to choose this route. but in a way you're neglecting the memories preserving the memories and and and just the life of your family member that was lost so it was like it's it's just like it's real it's just like it just it just is a lot but i was willing to get to that part of my life and that was one of the most therapeutic things i ever did did you ever tell the person that killed your brother that you forgive him? No, he out there, you know, it never was like to, it wasn't about him. It was about my family and me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. It wasn't even about that, but if I seen him, I'd say that. It wouldn't even be nothing. Do you want to sell him? Look, I don't I don't know you. We never met. but Stephen Keith Peoples that's my brother and I don't know I'm not here to judge you I don't know the circumstances I don't know what took place I don't know what transpired at night on Lippincott Street I don't really know and I'm not even here to judge you I'm not here to try to I don't know what happened I don't know why it happened. I wish it didn't happen. But I know a decision was made by you. And you took away somebody. Like you took away somebody that was a good dude, as we know. you took away a brother a father a son a grandson a cousin a friend a neighbor you took away somebody that I find myself talking to or planning to talk to in my days before I remember that he ain't here no more right Maymay, Tyreena, Muxin They can't talk to their dad My mom can't talk to us Nanny can't talk to their son Their grandson So it's like I wish it didn't happen But it happened But let me tell you something I don't know what you could learn Or how But I hope you learn from this experience And I hope you never do it again I'm not God I can't judge you And I just wish it didn't happen, but it happened. But know that I don't feel no type of way to like want to do nothing harm to you or want something done to you. That's not my job. I'm not the decision maker. God is. I don't make no decisions. But I just want to let you know, if you're looking at this, if you didn't see, but I'm pretty sure you've seen it because I talk about it so much. I forgive you, man. and I don't forgive you just to say it, I forgive you in a way whereas though that was the greatest thing that I did personally for me and for my family because you took Steve away from me from us but you motivated the mother the fuck out of me to be something that I never even knew that I can be so there's a gift and a curse in this whole situation but I would rather have Steve here right now with me and be doing whatever I'm doing. But I just want to say that I forgive you. And I hope wherever you at in life, you ain't do this again and you learn from it. What's so beautiful about, your brother sounds like an amazing guy. Man, he was fucking crazy, man. The best people are. Steve didn't give a fuck, and that's where I got it from. He was this little short guy, but he had the biggest heart, and he was just like, this dude was funny. He was crazy. He was just like, the things he was saying to the house, the things he was saying to people, like he really didn't give a fuck. And I'm talking about in a way where he just lived. Well, here's what I got from what I just experienced with you. that when you forgive, you actually create the space for your brother to live on in you. And so his life gets bigger. And when you hold on to something horrible like that, and you allow the hate and the darkness to take hold, you not only shrink the life of the person that you lost, but you also shrink your own life. And you could feel it. You could feel both the pain that you feel and the love that you have, but you could also feel the freedom. So thank you. Thank you. If the person who's been with us takes one thing from your remarkable life and all of the wisdom and truth that you've shared today, and they take one action, what do you think the most important thing for them to do is? Let me see that book. Yes to you. and no to them. You see where you at? This you. This you up here. You see where they at? The discipline of saying no and the freedom that follows. Yes to you. We live in this world where as though everybody is looking for somebody to come and save them. Everybody's looking for a reason to be upset with somebody when they don't get their way. It's not perfect. But for so long, you continuously choose others and you say yes to others, but you say no to you, when did you want to start saying yes to you and no to them? It's not about them no more. It's about you. You got to start choosing you and letting them go in order to grow, in order to glow, in order to go. That's what this is about. It's not about, when you think about life, it's not even about like trying to appease nobody no more. How old is we, man? Like we living in a world where there's no, even a person at 18 and 19, they know better. Like, we got too much information. Like, you know better. You got, listen, yes to you, no to them. That's it. The people that be in your life, you ever notice how your mom say no, but you can deal with it? The people that really love you can deal with it. The people that really love you can deal with it. Your mom and dad been telling you no, like, and you can deal. The people that really love you, the people that really deal with you, the people that really value you, they cool with it. They ain't got no problem with it. They don't have no problem with it. the people that really love you is going to stay. And the people that don't is going to go. You don't want them in your life anyway. You already know why they was there. So what are we talking about? Like, what is we really talking about? You got to think about that. What is we talking about? And another thing, fuck them. Fuck them. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck them. Capital F. What are we talking about? You know, that's all she said. Let me tell you something. Everybody out there, come here, you. Everybody home that's watching this Mel Melie Mel Universe Everybody out there I'm gonna tell you all a secret Mel really said Fuck them Fuck them That's what Mel said And you also said Fuck me Because I'm the one in my own way Fuck me Yeah Mel Fuck you Mel You in your own way Mel That's right You gotta say that a little louder Fuck me Mel Can you say it louder Fuck me Mel A little louder Fuck me Mel Mel I'm in my own fucking way All the time fucking way. Wow, 267. God damn it. I'm always in my fucking way. Listen, Mel, y'all looking at Mel. She got all this shit going on. She's walking on stage. Crowd, she's like. Whole time. She backstage overthink it. It's my hair. Shut up, Mel. Stay down worrying about your hair. Fuck as you talking about your glasses is perfect. She back there. Oh my God, is this right? Mel, let it go. Let the shit go. Fuck him. What we doing, Mel? You worry about the wrong shit, Mel. You creating problems for yourself, Mel. and that's what it that's the whole thing like you gotta say yes to you no to them man fuck them man stop worrying listen stop worrying about them and worrying about you start loving you start matter of fact before you love you you gotta start liking you then you gotta start loving you then you gotta know listen I ain't got it all figured out but I'm gonna figure it out one day and that's enough and if we keep following and listening to you we're gonna figure it out fast listen man listen 267 Listen, definitely listen, but I'm going to say something to people. Yeah. And this is from my chest. I don't know where you are right now, but if you're living in America, I just want to say something very important to you, very important. Don't let nobody turn you into somebody that you're not. Don't let no ignorance. Don't let no hatred. Don't let nobody idea that you're less than, that you're not worthy, that you're not special. start interfering with your thought process and start having you doubt on who you are. You're special. Everybody on this planet was made different. Everybody is a different person, different. It's cool to have different outlooks on life. And let me tell you something. It's cool that we ain't got to agree. But one thing, we need each other in order for this world to work and for it to be a better place. No matter your color, no matter your sexual identity, no matter where you come. That's not what's important is when humans connect, Great shit happen all the time. We're stronger together. We always got to continue to be an example for the world. The way we be example is be great, come together and do great things. A lot of times some people might not see that, but we got to think above. We got to move above. We got to live above the stuff that divide us. You know, Wallo267, when they say don't ever meet the people that you admire, don't meet your heroes they weren't talking about you because you are extraordinary I have been so excited to meet you I am so proud of you and I'm so grateful that you're in the world doing what you're doing so keep doing it please thank you I appreciate you for having me Mel let me ask you so what are your parting words my parting words is I thought I'd say a lot of parting words, but the parting words is new book coming out. Mel Robb, right? We're going to shorten her name. We know the new book, her name will be Melly Mel. Wild 0267. Fuck them. The new book coming out. The tour is coming all around the world. It's going to be crazy. The middle finger is going to be the t-shirt and the hat. You got to choose. You over choose. It's going to be crazy, Mel. You just got to listen. We taking Mel back to our college days when she was Melly Mel. We're going to show you the other side of the game. That's the Mel We're the other side of the game. See, we wilding out. We not. Come on, man. That's what we doing. Be on the lookout, man. Oh, my God. I love you. Man, I love you too, Mel. Like, Mel, we only got one shot. We living once. Let's live, Mel. Let's live. Like, we, come on, man. You didn't. Listen, do your thing, man. Have fun. Go to a party, man. Go dance at some people party. You don't know. Go crash a wedding. Do something. Fuck it. Like, damn, man. We not going to be here forever. What the fuck is we doing, Mel? Shit. Wasting time. That's what we're doing, but not no more. Not me. Shit. You're out of here. Oh my God. We're out of here. I cannot wait to see what you do with this conversation. And the truth, the truth that you are the one that's in your own way. The truth that you are going to, like, what are we doing? Why are you worried about what Susie in accounting says? Sorry, Susie. Like, why are you worried about what your friends from high school? Stop. Let yourself live. Let yourself be the person that you know that you are. There is nothing holding you back except for you. And if Wallow can do this from a prison cell, you can do this from wherever you are right now. And know that Wallow and I are going to be here every step of the way to encourage you to keep moving forward, to keep saying yes to yourself. And I want to say thank you. Thank you for spending time listening to this. Thank you for sharing this with everybody that you know. it is such an important conversation. It's such an important amount of truth for you to accept in your life and to apply to your life. But in case no one else tells you this today, I wanted to be sure to tell you as your friend that I love you and I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life. And if you don't believe that now after listening to Wallow, I'm gonna tell you what, go back and listen again. Alrighty, I'll be waiting for you in the very next episode. I will welcome you in the moment you hit play. I'll see you there. like somebody that you deep down know you're not. Or if you feel, oh wait, hold on. If you've got big goals that keep, if you've got big goals, there's more people mentally, there's more people and he's here. And here's the part that is a testament to, okay. And here's the part of his story that is a testament to Wallow's unbreakable mindset. I learned a lot from you. You better hold on to that. Fuck them. Don't know. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Sirius XM Podcasts.