--:-- Good morning, girlies, it's the Toast. It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast-fired things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's the Toast. I sound amazing. welcome back to the toast and happy hump day don't forget to hum someone you love and speaking of somebody that i love and as you guys know would do anything to hump it's jackie o jacqueline foley jacqui how you doing i'm doing well thank you happy to be a guest on coachy's corner today yes thank you all for tuning in to this new segment we are calling coachy's corner where coachy sits in a corner and tells you how she feels sounds amazing and she collects community members and QG's. I'm wearing a hat on the show today, a little baseball cap, a little toasty merch, even though our merch takes an eternity to come. You'll look like that. So the hats are top quality fabric. And it's just I feel like it's a different vibe. Like who knows what's going to happen? Do you remember our hat era? Sometimes like clips will come across my desk of like when you and I wore hats a couple of times, like for a week. What? Yeah, we had a hat era. I can like remember I can count on my hands the times I've worn a hat on this show. And it's So few because it's not like I did it and never wanted to do it again the next day. So I wonder how this one's going to go. I just felt like my outfit needed a little more personality. Plus, it was like rainy this morning. So I was like, let me throw a baseball cap on out the way at the door. Who is she? So cute. Your merch. By the way, we absolutely need to like change our merch to be called Eternity Merch. It's kind of a beautiful name. And like we let people know off the bat, like our merch will take an eternity to come. It's a beautiful name. I know. And we can have a logo with like the Eternity symbol. Yeah, infinity symbol. Yeah. Isn't that nice? That's really beautiful. Eternitymerch.com. Like where's your shirt from? Eternity. Eternity apparel. Eternity and maternity. Oh, is that the maternity for eternity? That'll be a capsule collection by eternity. Oh, well, that's like my line specifically. Yeah. Possibilities are endless when you embrace the eternity. Well, the possibilities are eternal. That's also true. Here at eternity. Thank you all for tuning in. Yeah. Thank you all for toodading. How are you toodading today? I'm doing amazing because I didn't stay up late watching Tell Me Lies, but you did. I didn know like we were committed to doing a recap Well we you were at my house yesterday Before you left I was like what on tonight and you were like tell me lies two episodes so I killed myself to watch one and a quarter episodes of tell me lies and I was like so mad but I had to go to sleep and I was like well she's gonna spoil it for me on the show tomorrow because she watched two turns out she watched none yeah I was just like sort of taking it easy last night you know we had dinner together I moseyed on home um what did I do oh at FaceTime with my machatunum sister because she like opened some boxes for me laws in in back in new york like so yeah i just sort of took it easy very self-care kind of happy food so that's well for you no i have a question going down how long do you think tommy lies goes on for oh how many seasons well is it the four years of college like well no because like steven's gonna graduate so like what oh he's older yeah he's a senior thank god get rid of him yeah uh but they're also eight years in the future with the wedding so they can do a lot with it and i imagine it's like if it ain't broke don't fix it like we have a show on our hands why would we end it but I do think that at some point they should end it with dignity right maybe at like season four so if this is three like maybe we have one more season I just made that up yeah but I don't think it's a show that like can go on forever without it getting stupid with like all the different twists and turns that eventually lead us to this wedding yeah it's also really crazy that the two of them are still dating IRL yeah it's kind of amazing but it's so crazy and it's definitely not a PR relationship it's just extremely convenient for the network but I also imagine like when you're and this happens all the time like when you're on these sets of these shows that are like hot and heavy like you can't help but fall in love art imitates life and life imitates art it's beautiful so sort of the message for the first episode of Koji's Corner oh really what about your art is imitating your life and vice versa well our art is our life when you live your art you don't need to answer questions like that you know you live your truth and in an authentic And in a Kojourner truth kind of way. And the authenticity is internal. That's beautiful. I know. The authenticity is eternal. It sounds like you listened to Hunter Hayes in the car on the way here. I didn't. But you were just singing that? I made a TikTok to Hunter Hayes this morning. Oh. Is he going viral? No, I wish. Like, if the world was a good place, Hunter Hayes would be going viral. He's such a p-job. The world is disgusting. No, I don't want good and I don't want good enough. I want can't sleep, can't breathe without your love from porch and one more kiss. It doesn't make sense to anybody else who cares if you all I think about I searched the world and I know now it ain right if you ain lost your mind I don want easy I want crazy You with me baby let be crazy Yeah, he takes it up a notch there. He has a really crazy register. What were you doing? I heard that song on TikTok this morning. Someone was like, give me Hunter Hayes 2014 back. And it was like shocking to me how I literally haven't heard that song in maybe 10 years and I knew every single word. It goes so hard. It has no business going so hard. Don't be near me or my shoulders when that song comes on. No one's a one good day. I'll listen to it in the car on the way home. Yeah. Hunter Hayes actually slays in a lot of ways. No, he has a beautiful voice and he makes amazing music and he has like new music and it's still amazing. He wrote a song called Dear God. Do you know that one? Yeah. Cry. Yeah. Cry. Tears. I want to ask you something about something that's happening on the Internet. Oh, sure. No, not like anything personal. I want to ask you something. What do you think about men and women's sports? What do you think about it? I think that I really value my career as always. And that's just what I want to lead with always. I'm literally the Jimmy Fallon of the podcasting industry. What you need me to say, I will say it. I don't stand for anything. Okay. We love that for you. No, I was going to ask you about this trend that I'm seeing on the internet. And I want to know where it hails from. 2016? 2016. I have no fucking idea. I saw Tink's posting like a collage of her. I saw Danielle Carolan. Okay, so I thought like Tinks was just doing something like on her own. I'm like, oh, that's like a cute thing. Apparently, it's a part of a big trend. And I saw my sister do it, posting ugly pictures of me from 2016. When they met me, I just, I need to participate in all trends. And I did. Check my Instagram. I posted like really cute video. Did you say you're in it? No. Wait. Do you post it to feed or stories? I haven't had a chance to be on my phone this morning. Feed. I posted to feed. You didn't say? No, I haven't had a chance to be on my phone. Oh my gosh. There you are. First one. Butterflies. Love. I heard it's 2016. yeah I'm getting involved okay but like where did you hear that and why oh my god that can't be so literal I don't know it's a trend oh there's me okay if you listen to the I want to enjoy watching yeah later um unfortunately for me like 2016 was the ugliest I have ever been and if I have anything to do with it the ugliest I will ever be so I was very limited in my pool of content because um like I said I was moley and fat and ugly and just like oh my god girl try like and and I was obsessed with eyeliner. When we did the breath and like the first year of the toe, yeah, the first year of the toes, I wore every day the thickest most uneven poorly applied black eyeliner on and like with a wing a poorly constructed one Nobody said anything to me And of course, like if you did, I would have just like thought you were a hater who was jealous of me and my beauty. But it's insane that I left the house that day. And that's how I know actually that Ben really loves me. Like he was with me during that time and he loved me like so much then. It's insane how dumb and like blind he is. That's really funny. I do remember the winged eyeliner. And what did you think about it at the time? Like, were you talking about it behind my back? I didn't think about it. I thought my sister was saying per usual. You and Ben, like two blind idiots. That's really sweet. Maybe I'll go look at like 2016. That was a good year. That was a fun year. And it was like fun to see like snitches carousel. And like for once, I'm in everything. Yeah, right. These days, no. No, she's traveling. No campers to be found. But like we used to hang out so much, all of us. We still do. I mean look at us yeah but we used to hang out so much we used to party so much there was so much good stuff we used to party so much and party so hard when I was watching tell me lies last night I was like getting a pic because like this isn't a spoiler or anything but they do molly and then the next day they're like coming down and like anxiety and not like just that whole like phase of like drinking anxiety like yeah oh my god I was literally having anxiety just watching it whenever i watch people on tv do drugs even if it goes well it's not like a bad drug story i get the worst pit in my stomach because i'm either waiting for something to go wrong i don't know like drugs give me the worst anxiety always so i feel that yeah it was like if that's what i like about the show it really transports you and like you i just have like anxiety the whole time i'm watching it um and they also really capture like that era i'm the era so it's so great and immersive, I would say. But like, oh my God, I don't miss those. Like, it was fun while it lasted. But like, we're looking at it through rose-colored glasses. Nostalgia is a mind trick. If I'd been there, I'd hate it. Yeah, but like, all the partying, I'm good without. Really? Watch Tell Me Lies. No, I know. Well, that type of partying. Like, I've had many party eras. And I would think like, you know, my more sophisticated party era was one of my favorites, you know? What's your more sophisticated party era? Not like club rat dirty eyeliner vibes. Like, I don't know. I just feel like I had a sophisticated era when I was like going to better parties with better people you know what I mean sophisticated era where I was like going to better parties with better people you know what I mean sophisticated parties yeah and like like lots of wealthy people that was fun but what about like the drinking lots of drinking of course yeah yeah so you're wearing a hat so I'm wearing a hat and did um Zach bring that hat and said he thinks you should wear this hat to the party tonight yeah it's an option for a hat I could wear to the party tonight I have others so we'll see I have some other options from eternity merch that's amazing I love their stuff yeah are you okay yeah are you like i was being silly it's not what we do for a living yeah are you okay yeah i'm great do you want to get deep open up um let's think let's think i don't really have anything like new to share okay you know just like plugging along you don't want to tell everyone that big thing you're going through oh my god you're so crazy no i mean i am going through a big thing i just had a baby yeah yeah which is huge thing major uh so yeah just doing that yeah and how's that it's good yeah yeah yeah it is how about you spent the whole day with you yesterday we did spend the whole day together yeah what it was was that i was in the car and in order to like get to my next destination i had to make a u-turn on this big ass Florida street. And I was like changing lanes and actually like was within inches from my life. And I decided that the U-turn was not for me. And then the street, the street I saw next, I do know that that street led to your house. Cause I see it all the time when I drive to your house and I said, everyone buckle up, we're going to Jackie's. That's how I ended up at your house. That's how you ended up at my house. Yeah. Changing lanes is such drama. Changing lanes is not for me. You know, I plan my turns two turns in advance. So I never wind up in the wrong lane and as I become a more seasoned driver with every day you know sometimes I do see the opportunity to change a lane. Correct just to like get to your destination faster like just be a little bit more comfortable in the lanes. Yeah like not with someone in front of me and behind me when the one next to me is wide open of course just like why aren't you guys going into it? What's wrong with this lane? I am constantly like gaming I don't know if everybody thinks about lane changes the whole time. And I was really taught to drive by Ben Soffer, who is obsessed with changing lanes Like beep bop boop like the Pac Yeah goes between every car like just to keep going ahead Frogger And the funniest is when you see someone change lanes from behind you because they trying to like get there faster and then, like, you both end up at the red light together and it's like, what did that get you? Right, you almost killed your whole family. For what? For what? We're still sitting at the same light. So both yesterday and actually on my way again this morning, I had, like, a near-fatal lanes change. Like, to me, if I ever get in a car crash, it will be from changing lanes. Yeah. Do you have a good camera on your car that shows like when you have your signal onto change lanes, it like shows you? Tesla has that. Mine has like, no, I have my rear view mirror. And then on the mirror, there's a little orange triangle. So it's like, don't go. But I do feel like the triangle is like a little sensitive, like bitch, I could fit. So a lot of times I will effectively, I will effectively change lanes, even though the triangle was flashing. But then sometimes like the triangle, I was like, oh yeah, you were onto something there triangle. My bad, my bad. And so this morning, this guy was like, I literally almost killed him. He was so mad at me. And I, it's very important when driving like to not always be on the offensive like to know when you're wrong like i was wrong and i was like so you know i was making friends on the road as well and just sort of taking accountability which is really important it's so good to take accountability on the road when you're driving i take a lot of accountability i've been like digging up my car just dinging it up just digging it up like we have to park a lot we do commuting requires a lot of parking last week i didn't have to eat you guys because it was a friday episode but after i I parked on the street and paid the meter. I like forgot that where I parked, like there was a curb in front of me. So like when I left, you just started driving straight. And did you mark up your vehicle? I didn't see anything, but I saw a lady on the sidewalk and she looked at me. And I was like, yeah, the whole car like, you know what you realize when you drive a lot. when you drive a lot and like start doing it up you realize like your car can take a lot you know like something that you think would leave a mark but you have a white car my car's black like next car i'm getting black yeah what goes on in my vehicle is a really good point is genuinely none of my business and yesterday i parked in a regular parking spot but i guess i went like too close to the what's it called at the front of the parking spot the concrete slab the curb no no oh oh like the um the parking the bumper the line what is that the line that you pull up to that it's like a concrete block I parked like I guess on top of it um so when I pulled out there was another bump there was another um jump the car was jumping you were jumping and thumping and bumping and wiling out yeah so um lessons learned taking accountability for that might be yeah it just like this is again another thing where like for me and my personal journey new york has florida beat like it's seriously the cab driver's problem if i'm in a vehicle and like what happens next i have actually been in motor vehicle collisions like in a taxi or an uber it's not your problem i literally get out like i'm sorry that that happens sir but i have places to be same like i've actually been in a taxi that's been pulled over and i'm not responsible in new york city like you can just get out and i often do i oh i always have i've been rear-ended i've been pulled over and i'm like you're on your own i said we all gotta run our own race yeah and sir I wish you the best, but I have a podcast to record. I guess like it would be in the moment. It feels weird to leave because it's like, what if he needs help? Like, what if I need to give a statement? But in thinking about these things, it's like, why would you stick around? Like, why? You don't know this person, right? You don't like leave. Why are you hanging out in a random car? Yeah. And it's like, I am an empath, of course, but I'm a realist first. And I know like if I stay here and support this man in his journey, like I will be late for work. One thousand percent. And like, is the meter still running? Okay. So let me think. In the times that I have, when I got rear-ended in the Uber, Uber's easy. Like I just said, end the trip. And I had paid, whatever. But in the yellow cab, when he got pulled over, I think I paid. Yeah, of course. He's about to get a big fat ticket. Like it's the least I can do. But he has to end the meter. Yeah, which he was able to do. Meter equal to ended. Yeah. I think also if you're like a New York City traffic cop, you know, like part of pulling over a cab is like the paperwork comes first. Yeah. Speaking of, I meant to ask the gang about where I parked. It said like, I just want to make sure they could said all others will be towed, you know? Oh, I know. Wait, but I do think, no, it's not. Did you park there? No, I parked back there, but, and there's a couple of spots that are safe for a particular tenant. I one time parked there and I got a nasty sticker on my car. Okay. So then there's others that are like, but it's part of the plaza. And I said, but I'm in the plaza. I'm a customer of the plaza. So I'm so glad you brought that up because if you guys saw me texting on my phone right here before, um, I am parked in the other tenant. Yeah. And I just got a text about it. So that's why I just asked her to go out and like maybe move my car. Oh, I was wondering what the drama was. If you saw me on my phone, like there's a vehicle drama, vehicular drama. I experienced that in June. I parked in the other tenant and they take their parking really seriously. And now that we're like doing sort of like a residency at this studio, like how do we go about getting a sign? Yeah Saved for like the most famous podcasters on the planet And that would apply to anyone who uses this studio No it wouldn But we get it at this hour Correct Just someone to talk to the city council about, you know? Yeah. At the next meeting. Okay. I know you like to be like an informed community member. I am. Yeah. Am I? Someone to think about. Well, let's get into the story, shall we? As long as your car is not getting towed. Yeah, well, actually, what's great is that Ben was just wrapping off a t-shirt for me. Right. and so he's working on that. Can you handle the car thing? Are we good? Do we have to move the car? We have to move the car. Okay. I just feel like that person who gets that special vehicle, while I understand that they're an important person. The person who gets the... The special spot. Are they an important person? I don't feel like they are. Well, I know that they're a business owner in this complex and like so I just feel like they could have fucked off and like for once tried to, you know, join the rest of us in struggling to find a parking spot. It's for their customers and I just feel like they don't have enough to justify the two spots. No, it's for them. it's for the business owner confirmed business owner yeah what's the business well the owner of that oh oh they oh yeah yeah oh i thought it was for their customers no no i'm like well it's well i'll buy a watch like it's always open so yeah what does that say now we do have stories to get into even though i don't feel i feel like it's one of those days where the stories are just like kind of an inconvenient truth i agree um and who knows where they'll lead so as always like we We will do the stories. Of course. But if we don't harp on them. Don't be upset. There's not like a lot to harp on. I just feel like it's going to be one of those days where I have no choice but to make every story about myself, which is different from other days, of course. Yeah. We'll see. We'll see where we can go with it. But you're just looking so like, you know. No. Like your little hands, like your nails look so long and nice. I'm kind of jealous. And you've got like jewels and you're just looking cute. it you know like when i'm just thank you for noticing i'm trying to enhance other areas like of course of course of course like no when you're not in transition when you're not loving when you're when you're not living in your dream body like other things do need to just like be amped up like i always wear more makeup when i'm like feeling insecure about my weight i always do my hair like better than ever i wear more jewelry i'm on top of my nails i'm always like waxing my eyebrows as if like it's going to take 10 pounds off you know and then i do weigh myself after because like the the weight of the hair of course and it's very heavy yeah of course heavy is the head so thank you for noticing the little details it's been a pleasure and an honor detailed you are a detailed person i would say i would say but you can't get lost in the details is what i would also say Noticing the little details. Noticing the little details. It's been a pleasure and an honor. Trying to be more detailed. You are a detailed person, I would say. I would say, but you can't get lost in the details, is what I would also say. Focus on big picture. Shop eternity. Shop eternitymerch.com. Yeah, it's actually shoptoesmerch.com, and it will take an eternity, but it's going to be the best things you ever wore. Like, for real. Like, seriously, things you'll give to your grandchildren. This hat is from, like, three years ago. It looks brand new. It's from, like, a year ago, but yeah. I'm like you now. Everything was three years ago. Isn't it amazing to live without that time-space continuum? Everything was two to three years ago. Two to three weeks or two to three years. Or two to three months. Yeah, not sure. Without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you do need to know. In no particular order. In no particular order. I don't know, it feels like the order is a little particular since you're moving things around. Yeah. You didn't choose that crazy headline, did you? I don't know what I chose. No, the one that you showed me before the show. No, no. Can you read it to everyone? Oh my gosh, yes. Jackie was like strolling the Daily Mail and she was like, this headline just kept getting crazier. This is a worst nightmare headline. And just when you think the headline is over and it couldn't possibly get worse, it does. Harrowing moment. 550 pound internet star is lifted into police van by six in caps cops because she was too big to fit in SUV during arrest. Why are you laughing? Before she vanished. You are before she vanished. What? I just want to say laughing at a time like this, you are never beating the fat phobic allegations. No, but like just the story gets crazier and crazier. And like. Was she found? I don't know because it's a Daily Mail exclusive and I don't subscribe. So we'll never know what happened. Not them putting important news behind a paywall. Yeah. And like they just keep like bringing up her weight. It's just a nightmare scenario. I know. And that always was something that gave me peace as an overweight person was that I was definitely harder to kidnap. And now that I'm on set bound, like I'm constantly worried about my safety. I don't even understand. I don't understand the headline. Well, then it's not a story. Like why was she being lifted? Why was she in police custody? She is a modern day. What's eating Gilbert Grape? Not enough people talk about that movie. One of Johnny Depp's earliest works, him and Leonardo DiCaprio are both in it. They're both like 16. And they play this like really poor family who live in the middle of nowhere. and their mother is morbidly obese She can leave her bed and leonardo dicaprio is autistic right in the film um and johnny depp just like trying to keep this family together trying to go to school trying to fall in love trying to do this and eventually spoiler alert the mother passes away like in her sleep and they don't want to call like an ambulance because they wouldn't be able to get her out of the house they'd have to forklift her out it would be too much shame for the family so they end up like burning the house down with her in it it was so like we were watching that movie like I saw that movie I was like 11 I know but like that was like the movie of that year like imagine if they came out now like and by the way that movie was like whatever that what's the opposite of woke like that movie was insane like he wouldn't bring girls home because he was so embarrassed of his mom it was like it was really I remember the point of the movie what was eating Gilbert you know yeah I don't know well let's get into the actual stories not the not story if you just if you want to be upset you should watch that movie our first story i actually would like like to watch that movie now as an adult like see what it was about yeah what all the fuss was about it's like we just remember like the very like dark parts no and like memorable parts and did anybody else see that movie or just us when we were 11 no i think that that was like the oscar movie of the year the same way slumdog millionaire right the movie like that was the movie like the fact that when everyone when there were those jokes that like the oscars leo had never had an Oscar and he had like that movie was his Oscar movie like he was the most profound performance but you know the Oscar is about a body of work and that was like his first movie who cares just I'm just telling you that kid from adolescence just won and like that was his first work yeah they just make shit up yeah okay and like you're not you buying into it I'm just like it's like letting you know what they would how they would respond to that you know today's episode of the toast is brought to you by the container store if you want to start the year off right get to the container store. They can help you organize any space in your home and pretty much your life. My life and home were very disorganized in the last few months being postpartum, you know, just like so much stuff all around, nursing stuff, baby stuff, et cetera. I ordered the Pargias bins, garbage cans, organizational essentials from the container store. And now I can like see clearly again, if you don't know how to get started, the experts at the container store can help you find exactly what you need from high quality organizers for your fridge and pantry that make eating healthier a real possibility where everything like looks tasty to closet storage that helps you see actually what you have they've got solutions this year find real solutions for all of your resolutions the best selection and service at the container store so you can clean out your closet you can clean out your pantry your fridge any area of your home you know get a bin for it get pargy hangers They just have everything for making your home like feel like a well machine Visit ContainerStore and use code TOAST at checkout for a discount on your purchase. That's ContainerStore.com, use code T-O-A-S-T for a special discount. I got some rotten bins. I got a huge garbage can that is actually nice looking from Container Store because I just have like water bottles and a million things that pile up in my room right now and I just throw it in the bin. But you can really get anything that you need at Container Store and it's a great way to start the year off in an organized manner, might I suggest. Today's episode of The Toast is also brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. So it is a one-stop shop for your website. If you want to launch a new business this year, do it with Squarespace. If you want to upgrade your current website for your business and just maximize all of your efforts, do it with Squarespace. You can get the domain that you want through Squarespace. They will help you format your website so it looks incredibly professional, like you write code and you did not write code and you do not have to write code. It will help you grow your brand, process payments. Everything is all in one place. It is the one-stop shop for online business owners and whatever kind of product you sell. What kind of business do you win? You can have a website through Squarespace that will be great for your customers. They will love using it. It will be great for you on the backend doing the admin, feeling like you write code when you do not have to write code. So go to squarespace.com slash toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. using code TOAST. Again, that is squarespace.com slash toast to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain at Squarespace. They have great services for your website. They have cutting edge design, SEO tools for marketing. They'll help you get the domain that you want so you can have a party website like eternitymerch.com. And it's really fabulous. Today's episode of The Toast is also brought to you by Legacy Box. We love Legacy Box here at The Toast. We were just talking about 2016 MEMS and Legacy Box is the perfect brand to sponsor this episode because it is how you can digitize your memories So Legacy Box is like an idea that you wish that you had because it makes so much sense we have all of these photos like physical photos from growing up videos on videotapes and you know we don't have a vcr player anymore so how do we watch those things we send it to legacy box so you they send you an empty box you send all of these uh archival things that you have whether it's tapes photos and they will digitize everything all in one place so that you have it forever and you can share it with anybody else who you want to share it with and everything is preserved. Legacy Box began when the founders realized that most people couldn't even set the time on their VCRs, let alone figure out how to rescue their family's home movies. They bootstrapped Legacy Box from nothing and built the world's largest, most trusted digitizing company so that families wouldn't lose the moments that made them who they are. That is so us. We love our home movies and we've preserved them with Legacy Box and watching them back is one of the best things ever and seeing how we're all exactly the same is the funniest thing ever. So visit LegacyBox.com slash toast for 55% off. That's LegacyBox.com slash toast to save 55% when you digitize your memories. It is something that all of us should do, especially as millennials. Like we've all got those analog things, you know, in a closet in our house and it's time to send them to Legacy Box. Today's episode of The Toast is also brought to you by AG1. AG-1 is a name on everybody's lips because it is sustainable health that is about consistency, not perfection. And you can simplify your nutrition with AG-1, which is a multivitamin, pre and probiotic, superfood and antioxidants all in one scoop. So that one scoop of AG-1 literally has so much in it and it's everything that you need for a par-GU and a better you with all of the health benefits that you could want in one scoop. So AG-1 is the opposite of complexity. It's 20 seconds, one scoop, eight ounces of water, done. You drink it first thing in the morning before coffee, before checking your phone. It will become a micro habit that anchors everything else. And they now have their next gen formula. They've added even more vitamins and minerals than ever, clinically proven to fill common nutrient gaps. So our entire family is on the AG1 grind whenever we're like on vacation or in a house together. It's like, who brought the AG1? Where is it? Our husbands all love it so much and they are nutritionally benefiting. whereas you know they might have some nutrient gaps in their diet I wouldn't say like every day I was packed with vitamins and minerals but they take their AG one and they're feeling great AG one has over 50,000 verified five-star reviews and comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee go to drink AG one comm slash but they take their AG1 and they're feeling great. but they take their AG1 and they're feeling great. AG1 has over 50,000 verified five-star reviews and comes with a 90-day money-back guarantee. Go to drinkag1.com slash toast to get their best offer. For a limited time only, get a free AG1 duffel bag and a free AG1 welcome kit with your first subscription order. Only while supplies last. That's drinkag1.com slash toast. Drinkag1.com slash toast. First up, let's get into the story. Jessica Simpson announces a collaboration with Chicken of the Sea, 22 years after the iconic reality TV moment. Have they not done this already? It feels redundant. It does feel redundant. It obviously feels late. And why now? I feel like there were a couple times they could have done it, obviously right after it happened. But also after her memoir, there were just a lot of big Jessica moments. And that's to be so dumb, but I don't eat tuna. chicken of the sea is a brand of tuna yes and when she was on her newlyweds show she was like well is it chicken or tuna because it is by the way i never like she's so done dumb blonde it's a bad name that's like having a brand of chips that's like cookies of earth like well it's a chip yeah i understand the confusion but it is tuna and if you're eating it i think you would know it's tuna Okay, but also, just devil's advocate here, what makes tuna the chicken of the sea? Just like it being the most ubiquitous animal eaten. I didn't even know that they were still around as a brand. That's quite a feat. I think your husband uses it. Absolutely not. I literally know he does that wild earth salmon. No, but when he does tuna. Oh, sorry. Wild earth albacore. You know that one. Albacore. And like if he has to, he'll do Star Kiss. He does not mess around with chicken, I have to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's very specific. He loves canned tuna. I've actually like recently bought canned tuna because he sometimes makes tuna at my house. Well, he doesn't love canned tuna. He likes to make his own tuna in which you need tuna in a can. Yeah. So now I have that. Yeah. Star Kiss. Yeah. Star Kiss. And the other one. Star Kiss is like available everywhere. But then there's like. Wild Planet, it's called. Sorry, Wild Planet. If I'm at the like, you know, the fancy store. Whole Foods. Yeah. I get that one. It's like yellow. So she made this surprise announcement on Tuesday via her Instagram page. She wrote to her followers, new collab coming soon. I'll give you a hint. It's mermaid approved. She included several photos of her at a recent Chicken of the Sea event where she was wearing a sexy black dress She was a black dress that i kind of need you know i feel like it very my um physique she looks great yeah she does i love jessica simpson yeah me as well important time to bring up she is my birthday buddy so i probably love her more than you okay i'll i'll back down what's your favorite jessica simpson song maybe with you i recently like re-listened to a song of hers it was like on a playlist that i was listening to a lot oh i know it i don't even need to look it up oh i think i'm in love boy i think that i'm in love with you and i've been doing silly things when it comes to you oh yeah um so yeah i love this toasty lions maybe let's see how it ages but like you're a little late i don't feel like it's toasty lions we haven't had a toasty lions in a while really i feel like we recently added one what did we remember i remember we actually added two to list and we weren't sure if they see how they did if they aged well this would be a good day to like sort of clean out the list it's such by the way hashtag clear the list oh koji okay so i'm gonna start with the one i'm gonna do the whole list okay toasty lions by the way are awards um the in branding of the can lions awards it's for the best in branding like best brand partnerships collaborations and ideas things that just make sense what we like to call Smart marketing. Smart marketing. So ones that are officially cemented on the list. Lindsay Hubbard for Kleinfeld's Again, which is where you resell wedding dresses. That she never used. Ryan Merriman, the actor from Smart House, doing an ad for Samsung Smart House. So cute. Flip Off doing ads on the toast. Oh, yep. Alex Earl, Carl's Jr. Oh, I feel like, yeah. Things that feel right. That. Oh, that had the question mark next to it. I haven't thought about it since then. but I do still think it counts. It's good. No, it's like amazing. Like she's a Carl's Jr. girl. That used to mean something. Okay, I'm going to leave it with a question mark. We have to come back in like six months. What was the last one? No, there's a bunch. Kristen Cavallari's e-show podcast tour. I really did think that was like brilliant. Did it ever come out? Yeah, I watched it. Get rid of it. You were on maternity leave. Get rid of it. I was watching everything on maternity leave. Get rid of it. Wow. I hate actually delete. I would rather strike through, you know? Well, you should. because- To note that like- Yeah, no, it's- It was once there. You erasing history I agree hold on Strike through Or just like write delete I just write like no e podcast delete yeah astronomer gwyneth paltrow that there oh did we talk about the astronomer woman like doing her tell all okay i think we did taylor frankie paul that's the bachelorette yeah even though that's not like a marketing no but it was like hulu abc that would be like a feat in casting and i would put that also with hairspray which i do know we have a list of the like things that are perfectly gas movies i think taylor frankie paul would be on that list we also have to wait to see her season true true and then oh the girlfriend amazon show xd or toasters it's good toasty lion toasty lion i feel like the list is slacking everyone needs to step it up no i just feel like it's one of those lists that's been so hyped up you know we can't even go back to it because we're only going to be disappointed yeah um so yeah i guess this wouldn't be a toasty lion what was it again chicken of the sea yeah it's just like low-hanging fruit this is like if i was if i worked in marketing and this was my client and i was like an unoriginal person this would be the idea that i had yeah yeah are you ready for our next story because i feel like it would be like cool and different if it was like nick lachey you know or like those girls from the toast oh of course and let me just say i love chicken of the sea tuna every day talked about Starkist and Wild Earth first. And that's probably what they wanted, you know? Yeah, so that we could then say, we've had Starkist, we've had Wild Earth. What's the best tuna? Chicken of the sea. Bring back jingles, okay? Why does nobody have a jingle? We single-handedly are bringing back jingles. Of course, but I just mean, if you want to have a lasting impact, you know who's holding the jingle industry together? Liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty. we write really great jingles. I don't know who else has a jingle. I think a lot of people do. Goldfish used to have a great one. Snack that smiles back. Goldfish. I love jingles. That's like how, if I'm walking through the store and I see it, I'll like seeing the jingle and then pick it up. Yeah. Jingle all the way, huh? Jingle all the motherfucking way. Our next story, Kylie Kelsey is talking about Donna Kelsey being on Traders. Oh, what does she say? And how she withheld inside scoop on Traders from the family. You know what's so funny? When I think of like the Kelseys and like who, like, I know that she's Taylor's sister-in-law. And I always like I forget that Donna and Kelsey know each Kylie know each other Yeah And they both like the female Kelseys you know Yeah Who have like Kelsey in their name but they actually not related aside from through marriage Yeah No I forgot about them too together Yeah. So also like any excuse to talk about traitors. Donna Kelsey was tight-lipped about her experience on Peacocks, the traitors, her daughter-in-law Kylie tells people. She said she did not tell us much at all, which I respect. I respect. You've got to keep the mystery alive. She said, I wonder. I mean, if I was done, I wouldn't be like shouting from the rooftops. what I did on that show because it wasn't good. Like I would be tight-lipped as well. I wonder if she even told them that she was the traitor and the secret traitor. Like I wonder if she told them that much. Yeah, I'm also really curious. They obviously knew something when she left and came home two days later. You know what else I was thinking about? The contestants that like get sent home, when do they find out who the traitors were? like when they watch or like yeah like you know maybe they have some inside scoop and also they probably like talk to people in the cast and when like they end the show they probably talk you know yeah when they all go home they probably talk to them yeah but most of the people who get eliminated won't know who the traitors are i guess actually towards the end you might start being able to figure it out right even if you get sent home porsche went home say whoever goes home this in the new episode say it's ron or whatever he goes home and like if he can message Portia, not that they're friends, and be like, oh, by the way, Donna was the first traitor. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. But I mean the remaining traitors. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you think Taylor's watching traitors? I do because Travis is watching. Yeah. Do you think Taylor watches reality TV? I don't know why. She does not strike me. Didn't she say she watched Love Island? What did she say she watched? Love is Blind. Love is Blind. You're right. She did say that. also at Coachella remember she met Teresa Giudice and it didn't when you watched the video and she and when Teresa told the story on her podcast it didn't sound like there was any sort of like recognition yeah it just Teresa asked for a photo like if you watch any Bravo you know Teresa even if you don't watch Jersey Housewives yeah I feel like she probably knew who she was I'm sure she watches some Bravo over the years but she definitely watched Traders with Travis like to support Donner. Who knows if she'll continue watching if it was enough of a hook. I feel like no. Yeah, it wasn't off to like an amazing start. Yeah, and they kind of like did Donner. And they bullied her mother-in-law, yeah. So I don't know. Even though like they were right, because she was the traitor. I feel like no. I feel like no. Yeah. It wasn't off to like an amazing start. Yeah. And they kind of like. And they bullied her mother-in-law. Yeah. So even though like they were right because she was the traitor. I don't think Travis is going to keep watching. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like he's more likely to keep watching than her. Just in terms of like things that I think she would like and things that he would like. But I feel like the cast wouldn't be for him. Like I wouldn't. I don't know. They're like athletes. I'm surprised you don't have any like former athletes on there. I'm sure they do other seasons. But yeah, I just feel like he wouldn't be that interested in the group that they have. Yeah, especially after they disrespected his mother. But Donna did say that she and Jason like watch every season of Traitors. He's just a Traitors fan. He's a fan of Jason. I think so. That's the vibe I got that they like watch the show together because they love it. Now, we didn't talk about how actually when Donna said she was a traitor, she kind of slayed with her delivery. You got yourself a traitor. You got yourself a traitor. Honestly, that was the most energy like she gave the entire time. and first of all I thought for sure she wasn't so I was going to be shocked no matter what but I do really respect how she delivered that line it's such an exciting thing to say and you have one chance to say it and I don't know if she practiced in the mirror or whatever but it was really good wow she's really good what I also liked about her is that she never like lied straight up she never said I'm not a traitor and that kind of you know was her nail in the coffin but like yeah anyone can lie but it's like how you can deflect yeah and that's why I do believe I would be a great traitor because I just lie I have no like moral high ground I have no issue lying and I'm quite amazing at it although I do need to work on my whole looking up thing yeah so it's like may the best liar win also the best actor or actress correct um and you guys know like I was kind meant to be an actress yes we do know let's improv ready we're at a coffee shop oh my god you know this is my least favorite game okay fine i'm the barista barista what are you like a customer okay hi hi oh my god you fucking bitch i mean hi hi what can i get for you today sorry um before we get started what are your pronouns and scene that was really good Oscar yeah you should be the barista okay why like asking me my pronouns wait I don get it it very barista yeah that why I asked baristas are always like have funky pronouns Oh just being like a respectful customer A respectful patron Yes. Got it. Got it. Wow. You're very, you're very kind. Well, in my acting life, see, wasn't that good acting? Very good. You should go out for some shit. Like you can do that. I'm just kind of scarred from the one time I auditioned for Law and Order SVU and I didn't get it. Now, again, I was too beautiful for the role. We know this. I've told the story a million times, but rejection hurts. And actually, in terms of all the jobs that I would be fit for, I think I would sooner set up chairs at the beach. Because you guys know that's actually my nightmare job, being a hotel beach attendant, having to sweat in the sun, put up chairs and umbrellas. But I might be better suited for that than I would be for acting because I, rejection and me, we are not friends. Yeah, there's a lot of things that you're not cut out for. Yeah, my mental health, I would be on alert if I was a concerned family member of mine because I really would not be able to take it. Yeah. Okay. So, no. No, no. Chris Knoth is taking a dig at his Sex and the City co-star, Sarah Jessica Parker, in an expletive-filled Instagram post. You know, I am giggling. I'm just thinking. I don't know if you saw. I don't know if you watched every single Maternity Leave episode, but Joey Cabasa said the funniest thing. I was like, we were talking about guns. And I'm like, do you have a gun or would you have a gun? He's like, I couldn't. Oh, yeah. I saw this. I'm like, why? He's like, because if I ever looked past the mirror and looked past it, I would kill myself. he is so funny like seriously sometimes like i'm just giggling he's a threat to himself yeah right understand know thyself a hundred percent and he said like because his joke is that like his biggest enemy in this life is his inner saboteur okay sorry oh yeah chris noth i did see this um so he posted a snap of himself working out in the gym and he wrote fuck new year's let's go and then someone commented saying you mean fuck sjp and her award, right? LOL. She won like an honorary award at the Golden Globes. Did she like give a speech and everything? Yeah, the Carol Burnett Award. Matthew Broderick was there. Like a bunch of people made videos. It was like a big, you know, bat mitzvah type of affair. So the person said, you mean fuck her and her award, right? And he responded saying, right. I feel like that's actually not what he meant because like the picture was like him in the gym. It was very like he knew me. So I actually, I don't think there was subtext within this particular caption. Although I do believe he hates Sarah Jessica Parker. I would love to see him and Kim Cattrall get together because they literally the I Hate Sarah Club Now if I recall there were allegations against Chris Noth after the first season of And Just Like That And he got fired Everybody said like you guilty We're out. He maintained his innocence. You know, I'm sure at the time it was, like, really challenging. Although now in hindsight, getting fired from that show, like, was probably one of the better things to happen to him. I don't know, like, enough about the allegations to, like, remember if he was, like, really guilty or, like, really not. I just feel like as, like, a woman in Hollywood, like, she wouldn't be caught dead even, like, defending herself. this person who she's known for 20 years um right and like recast in the next show even though she had been done working with him and could have gotten away scott free right in the next show right if he was this bad guy and everyone but again i don't know anything about the allegations and literally i'm not stepping in this because like seriously not my plate i've been watching just like that like these people are not my issue there was just like not my stories today not my plate um and i want to talk about the picture i think it looked very handsome in this picture with the dumbbells with the gains making gains yeah he is handsome and he looks handsome did Do you ever do anything acting-wise outside of this show? I feel like, yeah, I feel like he's like. Like what? He just, I just. Oh, I actually, I know what. Tom Selleck. I feel like he's in one of those shows, you know, CSI. I know. Law and Order. No, no, with Julianna Margulies. What's that show? The Good Lawyer or something? What? The Good Wife. Is that Julianna Margulies? I'll go to his IMDb. I feel like it is. Yeah. Yeah. The Good Wife. Yeah. Is he still on The Good Wife? Are you guys shocked that I know Julianna Margulies? I feel like I'm going to get it. I know you want to keep saying her name. Zionist queen, Julianna Margulies. Beautiful. You should watch The Good Wife. Oh, you know what I watched last night? I restarted The Pit. Not restarted, sorry, new season. Great. The show was so good. And you know, because it was just nominated and everyone was talking about it, I didn't know like the lore behind it. So. The Good Wife ended in 2016. the um the actor from the pit noah weill also jewish king looks like adam sandler um if adam sandler were good looking yeah yeah no i just i never saw him before and then i was seeing him at the award show i said oh adam sandler wore a suit and it was not him okay they they maybe you were looking at adam sandler like they don't look like and adam sandler was there okay noah weill w-y-l-e i'm on my way adam sandler are you let me see What are you doing? Dr. Robbie? Hold on. Like in some, okay, in some pictures. I'm like from far away. And if I close my eyes yeah it looks just like him Well I started season two of the pit which is one of my favorite shows and I didn know so he was like like okay look at this still of the pit that looks like Adam Sandler can you agree like it's tiny sure like whatever I just sure um he like kind of came out of nowhere but I didn't realize he was an actor on ER with George Clooney and then like he didn't really take off in the way he loves playing a doctor though he's got the chops my phone is calling me saying someone's calling you maybe claudio sherry claudio australia okay pick up it's you hello claudio sherry is it claudio it sounds like a man claudio sherry yes um can i just call you back in like a couple of minutes yeah that's fine that's fine what a crazy show today yeah today's show is definitely manic a little wacky you know was claudio okay like i don't know why it said claudio like one time i must have like been at something and like made a pledge to like so and I never fulfilled the pledge and they always call like I'm happy to pay but like please don't call me I'm always like email me email and they never follow up via email they just like call back um I will fulfill my pledge at some point in my lifetime they have to make it like a much simpler how would you fulfill your pledge over the phone even you know credit card like yeah correct do not call me do not come I won't be picking up the phone don't call me i agree claudio sherry you know there's a feature on your phone that like numbers that you don't have saved like they won't ring for you they like screen it and yeah i don't like that either well i was missing like really important of course i unfortunately had to turn that off oh i didn't even know you could turn it off i actually need to it's annoying as fuck the screening oh anytime they screen to call it's something i i desperately need now they only screen like spam which calls me every day okay i need to figure that out our next story Oscar winning actress Jennifer Lawrence identifies as a stay at home mom, she said. So Jennifer Lawrence went on SmartLess. I'm sure she's done a lot of stuff. Oh my God, why? That's like perfect for her. Well, first of all, Jennifer Lawrence went on a podcast and nobody knows about it because they don't have video. So like, that's just annoying to watch somebody beautiful. Like we have to listen, no thanks. And two, like, I'm just so sick of those guys, honestly. I'm fine with them. and nobody knows about it because they don't have video. and nobody knows about it because they don't have video. So like, that's just annoying to watch somebody beautiful. Like we have to listen. No, thanks. And two, like, I'm just so sick of those guys, honestly. I'm fine with them. Like, I'm sick of them like for the bit, but like for real, I think they're, you know, fine. Okay, whatever. Anyway, she said, I identify as a stay at home mom. She said that she's obviously working and recently had to juggle a hectic schedule. I normally have a busy three months while I'm filming, but even in that sense, it's calm because there's nothing else to do. I just go to work. I do that. I come home, I sleep and then I do it again. And then like two weeks while you promote, it is hectic. You know, I could see people rolling their eyes at this, but I do like, she is not a celebrity who actively works a lot. She's not like going to a lot of events and doing a lot of brand deals and filming eight TV shows and three movies. She does like maybe a movie a year and she's in that one to your commercial. Like, yeah, those couple of weeks where she's working, the kid's dad can chip in. And I'm sure she doesn't. She does like two weeks of press, like she said. Yeah. And busy two weeks. But yeah, I guess so say it's four weeks out of the year that she's super busy but still even is like around available and then the rest of the months is a stay-at-home mom that's like a nice way to think about it yeah i don't um find this offensive as a mother no i didn't i thought it was sweet yeah do you consider yourself a stay-at-home mom no only because i really don't like to stay at home with the baby like oh my god time moves so slow when you're just like sitting around the house even if you're doing like the good engaging like mat time and all that shit i'm like let's just go somewhere that's why i went to your house yesterday like I can't just sit around in the house with the kid like yeah it's so slow and boring yeah so I'm like no and I know I don't consider myself a stay-at-home mom I'm like a part-time working mom I don't know what stay-at-home working mom I don't know but I'm not staying at home because we work here so like I don't know she likes to go out yeah and I have my studio in the city like I have to leave try and change lanes yeah right and try and kill people myself included while changing lanes are you ready for our fifth and final story i am are you yeah i was this is choose your own adventure but i made my choice but nikki glazer is revealing the swinney swinney joke that she cut from the 2026 golden globes i actually love this when i like what she tells us what share like jokes that they cut she so she shared a bunch of jokes that she cut um with howard stern yes this has become like a tradition after last year she went on howard stern after the tom brady row she went on howard stern she shares she does like the segment where she reads the jokes that she was gonna say yeah and then she like explains why she cut them and i guess sydney wasn't at the award show which is why she cut this one but she said people just aren't going to the theater to see things if you don't believe me there was a movie this year where sydney sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours and it made 14 what movie the christy like the box oh yeah yeah yeah That's funny. That's like a good joke. And I think that it's unoffensive-ish. Like if Sidney was there, like it would have been fine. It's a little demeaning. Well, it depends what type of comic you want to be, right? A man can never say it, first of all. Oh my God, jail. Jail, like literally prison. Lock him up. I don't know. I don't know how Sidney feels about Sidney's self. Do you know what I mean? Like she is this like modern day sort of like Marilyn Monroe, like sex figure. Yeah. sexy woman and that's been an intentional choice on her part so and she leans into it but i also feel like this movie that actually might have hurt her feelings more because this movie was her her serious one project and she like funded it herself it did make three 14 is generous it made three dollars and it wasn't about her like jumping around in tiny shorts right it was about the story anyone but you was like a movie about her body like yeah it was very it was like very male gaze Yeah. And this was like serious and hey, like eyes. Don look at me Yeah So I think it probably would have I mean yeah it a little It a little well It a well joke though You won catch me saying anything negative about Sweeney especially not today She met with two hostages in the last few days Noah Argomani and Avi Natan Orr So she's my queen. A thousand percent. So we're not making jokes at her expense. No. Mark Ruffalo, on the other hand. It's getting worse. He is really, so crazy. And you know what's like really, he's so crazy. and he's in every movie like every year he's at these shows because people keep putting him in movies like no matter how crazy he is he just says like the nuttiest things like about everything and it's like someone's gonna cast him again tomorrow like run it back and do it again we're gonna have to see him at the next show and the next show and the next show and it's just so crazy because like and this is just regardless of my feelings about Mark Ruffalo Hollywood is like a very vain shallow industry and like in terms of men who are aging well Mark Ruffalo is really not one of them like he actually like I'm sorry to be mean like looks terrible um and like if that was a woman like seriously she would never work again how mark ruffalo is more booked and busy than ember when he seriously never looked worse no and he's like actually a raving lunatic and i feel like most of the time like when someone's a raving lunatic it's like okay like we're gonna put you out to pasture right he must have great agents yeah maybe he's a good actor you know i mean just like heaven was so good like i'm i will still watch that movie because i shouldn't suffer yeah maybe he's just like the best man for the job of the acting which requires a raving lunatic acting is really not that hard like there's no way there's no way yeah um there is this like children's books i must have gotten it i didn't buy it myself it just like made its way it's called the gruffalo and it's about this like made-up creature in the forest called the gruffalo um and then like spoiler alert the gruffalo exists um and it's like these wildebeest like this ugly big yeah the gruffalo that person obviously listens to the toast whoever wrote the book. Did you buy that book No I said it made its way towards me in like a gift or something I did not buy it oh i kind of like it okay yeah it cute it has a nice message does it rhyme yeah of course i don mess around with books that don rhyme reminder cameron counselor literally the only book worth having i'm being dead fucking serious and we were talking last night you were at my house and you were like what book should i get any new books i think we're gonna go to the bookstore which is always really fun yeah because like i just have a problem maybe i'm just like a protective mother but i was like reading this book like about a dog and the dog is not listening to his mom and like that's the whole point of the book why the fuck would i be reading that like give him any ideas i'm literally i'm like burning books yeah i'll give you i find problems with everything of course rainbow fish is a communist like i find issues in all books and i'm trying not to be this like sort of nitpicky mother but it's we need to go to barnes noble and sometimes i feel like there's bad behavior throughout the book and by the end like it does get better but sometimes like the kids don't have the like don't want to read through till the end so like They're just getting up in the middle of the book when like this child behaves so poorly. And he's like being rewarded for it. No, I don't mess around like that. Right. And the lesson doesn't come until the end, but it's too late by then. We're asleep. They didn't finish the book. Of course. Another issue. But you don't see that in Cameron the Counselor. She's a queen throughout. I think we can call it. Did we do five stories? Like, I just feel like the stories, like I said, were an inconvenient truth, but this was definitely one of our better episodes. And we'll leave you with that. Thank you so much for listening to The Toast. We have a Samuelize recap tomorrow. Can we say that? I'll be ready. I'll try. Oh my God, they're so not like you. I know. You're always like ball busting me. Like watch your shows, do your homework. I am. You like watch all this stuff this weekend and you were so like watch happy. Yeah. I'll try. Interesting. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Trust the Money Morning Show. We deliver the fastest, first-rate news story every Monday, Friday, and YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please subscribe. It's a video that's supposed to say my first story. We have a beautiful setting and wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye. Bye.
