--:-- Mel Robbins: Hey, it's your friend Mel, and today you and I are talking about how to be a force for good. So get ready for a fun and energizing episode of the Mel Robbins podcast. Oh, I am so excited for today. I'm Mel Robbins. I'm a New York Times bestselling author and one of the world's leading experts on change and motivation and habits. And today I'm bringing it because we've got an important topic. I even put on a blazer and now I'm starting to overheat. And so I'm gonna get comfortable. You can hear me taking my blazer off because we're not gonna be serious. But we are talking about a serious issue. Today, we are talking about how you can protect yourself from other people's bad moods, how you deal with annoying coworkers. And boy, oh boy, do we have a juicy question at the end of this from Celeste about gossip. And I'm so excited because, you know, we all have stories about dealing with people who are energy suckers, and I am bringing some stories today. But I want to make sure that you leave with some tools. And so, one, you're going to learn how to put up an energetic force field. Two, we're going to talk about strategies for how you protect yourself from other people's baloney. And three, I'm going to teach you how to keep yourself in a positive mood because that means no matter what's going on around you, you can protect your own energy, even when people are testing your patience or trying to suck your energy dry. So let's jump right in with a question from a listener named Veronica.
--:-- Veronica: Hi, Mel. It's Veronica. In the workplace, and I'm sure in other spaces too, I find that there are some people who, whether they are conscious of it or not, project their panic and anger in emails and communications, which more often than not, turns my fine day into panic and anger as well. They are people who kind of bring the house down with them. How can you hear what they are saying and not be emotionally affected by it? Thank you.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Veronica, that example of the emails where you can hear the edge in somebody's voice and you're just like, why are you doing verbal diarrhea at me right now through this email? Because you would not speak to me this way. And I have this story. So I was in Los Angeles last week and we were checking in at the front desk. And this woman comes huffing and puffing from the elevators. And she's doing that kind of walk where people are really hustling and shuffling on the floor and their elbows are really pointy, like they're trying to pump their arms to make them walk even faster and with more authority. And she had this high pony and it was swinging in the air. And she had a really fancy piece of luggage she was dragging and a duffel bag. And then there was this woman behind her kind of huffing and puffing behind her too. And they walk right up next to us at the front desk and she kind of slams her hands on the table as Chris and I are in the middle of talking to the woman who's checking us in. Now, keep in mind, the woman who's checking us in, it's probably 915 at night in Los Angeles. She looks like she's probably 24. And I assume, given that I have a 24-year-old and a 22-year-old daughter, that she is probably a recent college grad who has majored in hospitality. And now she is in a two-year program where she is working in a hotel in a city she doesn't live in. And she's got that kind of big blazer on that doesn't fit quite right. And you can tell that she's exhausted. And so I got this huffy, puffy, annoying woman next to me who is clearly entitled and she's angry. What is she angry about? Oh, well, the doors to her balcony, they don't close all the way. I didn't even know there were balconies on the rooms in this hotel. I mean, I'm not in that kind of room. So she starts like venting at this woman, venting at this 24-year-old woman in a hospitality program who does not have the authority to do anything, who is clearly exhausted and who, by the way, is not responsible for the door to your balcony not working. And so why are you vomiting on this poor gal? And you could see the life force just drain out of this woman who was standing at the front desk. And she apologized. She said she would get the manager who wasn't in and would be in in the morning. And then the woman huffed and she puffed. Well, what are you going to do about it now? I can't see anyone in. I can't stand people like this. There's no reason not to be kind to other people. There is no reason not to ask for help in a polite manner. Because the people that you're asking for help from almost never are responsible for the thing that's not working. And the person that's emailing you at work, who's all frustrated because the Q4 numbers and the boop, boop, boop, boop, and the client this and the do, do, do, do, do, like you're not responsible for the stuff that's stressing them out. And so here's what I did in that moment, because a couple things happened in that story. Number one, that woman's bitchy behavior and entitlement, it's like contagious. And when somebody's yelling at you, whether it's an email or you're separated by the front desk at the hotel that you're working at, it still gets all over you. I think about the visual almost like if you've ever walked your dog and they jump into like muddy water or they roll in the mud or heaven forbid you're walking on the beach and there's a big nasty rotting fish on the beach and your dog runs right up to it before you can get to the dog and now your dog is rolling all in it and it's like and then they run over to you. And what does a wet, dirty dog always do when that dog gets up to you? They shake. And when they shake, all of that negative, nasty, muddy fish, blah, blah, blah, it just hits you. And when somebody is in a positive or a nasty mood, it's like a muddy dog shaking. And that energy gets all over you. And so it's critical in these moments that you protect your energy. And for me, I normally speak up when I see this kind of thing, because normally I have really great energy and I'm not going to let somebody get away with that. But the truth is, I was really tired. I had just flown across country and we were in town to do something that was weighing on my mind. And I just didn't want to get into a fight with somebody who clearly had an ax to grind with absolutely anybody. And I'm not going to change this person anyway. And so what I do in those moments, when I start seeing that muddy dog shake or the high ponytail start flapping her mouth and being rude, is number one, I take a deep breath. That's it. I just take a deep breath. And there's a breath technique that you can use called 478. I don't remember who came up with this. We'll put it in the show notes. But you breathe in for four seconds, hold it for seven, then out for eight. And I read somewhere that the eight part is the most important. Because when you breathe out for longer than you breathed in, it sends a signal to your nervous system that it's okay to relax. And the 4-7-8 breathing technique will start the relaxation response in your body. And so if you get that all cap text from a friend or you get that really rude email from a colleague or you're standing somewhere in public and some jerk is annihilating the person and you just don't have the energy to go, hey, you know, you don't have to be rude about it. Do the four, seven, eight breathing technique to signal the relaxation response in your body to protect your energy. I have a second tactic that I love. Oh my gosh, I love this. Here's the visual. I use this all the time. In fact, I just used this in a different situation last night. I call it the snow globe. So have you ever had a snow globe as a kid? You know, it's this glass ball and in it is usually some sort of scene. So imagine a holiday tree, some reindeer, something like that. Or you could think about Cinderella's Palace at Disney. They probably have snow globes with Cinderella's Palace at Disney, right? What happens when you pick up a snow globe and you shake it. All of that crap in it starts flying around. You know what that crap is? It's like that wet dog mud. Think about a snow globe the next time you are around anybody who gives you attitude. Because when you picture the person like the chick with the high ponytail trapped in her own little snow globe and there she is bitching and barking about something and spewing her negative energy. If you picture her having her tantrum in a snow globe, let me out of here. And all of that sparkly stuff is what gets shaken up and all the negative energy. If you visualize her inside the snow globe, you can laugh at her and it doesn't get on you. This is something I use all the time. In fact, I just used this a few days ago and I'll tell you how right after the break.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and we're talking about ways to protect yourself from negative energy. And I just shared one of my favorite strategies, the snow globe strategy. I use it all the time because it is so simple. It's effective and you can pull it out the moment you need it. In fact, I used it just a few days ago. Here's what happened. I was at a coffee shop again at another airport and we were standing in line and we ordered coffee and they were super, super busy. And it was taking a long time. We had 20 minutes before the flight was going to leave. And Chris was getting testy with me because he's the kind of person, my husband, that we have the opposite travel languages. My travel language is be the last person on the plane. Get to the gate as late as possible without missing the plane. Spend as little time in the airport as possible. Chris, on the other hand, he basically likes to stroll through an airport. He likes to sit at the gate for a while and get comfortable and read his book and enjoy his coffee. He loves getting there early. And so we have the exact opposite travel language. He has agreed to stand in this long line with me to get a cup of coffee. He's starting to get agitated, not quite snow globe agitated, but you know, you can tell he's getting nervous and his coffee comes out. And so I say, why don't you take it and go and hold the plane for me? I'll be right there. So he leaves and now it's taking a minute and another minute and another minute. And I start to realize, holy cow, I'm going to miss this plane. And so I go to the counter and I say to the woman who's, they are really busy. I mean, you can tell she's stressed. And I just lean forward and say, hey, is the drink for Mel about to be done? Because otherwise I'm going to just have to you know, say, give it to somebody. And she, ah, like she had a tantrum. I'm doing the best of my hand. See, when somebody throws a tantrum, here's what I know. What I know is they're having trouble tolerating all the negative emotion that they're feeling. This woman behind the counter is feeling a ton of pressure. She's behind. She's frustrated. I'm sure other people have been rude to her. and my question to her, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She just couldn't handle the negativity and the stress anymore in her body. And so she had a tantrum. She exploded at me. Whatever. She's allowed to have a tantrum. It's a stressful job. I get it. And because I can picture her inside her own little snow globe, having her own little tantrum, all the sparkly stuff flying all around her, that's her negative energy. It stays inside the snow globe. I said, no problem, totally understand. And I left and went to my plane. And you know what? I didn't let it bother me. And that's the beauty of these strategies. See, there are always going to be people and situations in life that are triggering. The world is full of jerks and people who cannot tolerate their own emotional experience. And when you do the four, seven, eight breath to trigger a relaxation response inside yourself, you take control. When you visualize the colleagues sitting behind their desk and they're stomping on their keyboard, having their own little tantrum in their little cubicle, inside their little snow globe, you protect yourself. And that way, these emotional vampires that drain you and your energy, they don't impact you. And this is so important because when you look at the research around human connection, our brains are programmed to connect with other human beings. That's how we're wired. It's part of our biology, our physiology. We want meaningful bonds because when we do that, it not only feels good, but your brain releases oxytocin, which is a wonderful feel-good chemical in your brain. It rewards that kind of thing. And if we feel disconnected, we feel unsafe. In fact, if we're around somebody else who's stressful or weird or hostile like the chick with the ponytail, do you know what happens? Your brain releases yet another chemical, the stress hormone. And so you immediately not only sense that something's off with this person, but you also have this chemical physiological response. I think that's why we often, you know, label people's behavior as toxic or icky or gross, because it feels that way to you, just like a dog that is shaking and gets their mud all over you. And I think we know, common sense-wise, that people's moods and energy are contagious. But there's a new study by scientists at Oxford and Birmingham universities that show that bad moods, they're not only contagious, they're more infectious than good moods. And on top of all of this, your brain has something called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons are amazing because what they do is in nanoseconds, they process and register any human being's facial expression, body language, tone of voice. It's absolutely unbelievable. Your mirror neurons make you start to mirror the same emotions as the people around you. This is why when you're watching a movie and that sort of sappy music comes on or somebody in the movie starts to cry, your mirror neurons are what are triggering you to start welling up too. They also work for the positive. If you look at somebody eye to eye and you hold eye contact and you flash a huge toothy smile, it takes less than five seconds for the mirror neurons and the person who you are looking at and smiling at to kick in. And that person will not be able to help themselves but smile back. And this is important for you to know because it works both for the good. You can catch really good energy. And when it comes to bad energy, that's easier to catch.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and we're talking about ways to protect yourself from negative energy. And I just shared one of my favorite strategies, the snow globe strategy. I use it all the time because it is so simple. It's effective and you can pull it out the moment you need it. In fact, I just used this a few days ago. Here's what happened. I was at a coffee shop again at another airport and we were standing in line and we ordered coffee and they were super, super busy. And it was taking a long time. We had 20 minutes before the flight was going to leave. And Chris was getting testy with me because he's the kind of person, my husband, that we have the opposite travel languages. My travel language is be the last person on the plane. Get to the gate as late as possible without missing the plane. Spend as little time in the airport as possible. Chris, on the other hand, he basically likes to stroll through an airport. He likes to sit at the gate for a while and get comfortable and read his book and enjoy his coffee. He loves getting there early. And so we have the exact opposite travel language. He has agreed to stand in this long line with me to get a cup of coffee. He's starting to get agitated, not quite snow globe agitated, but you know, you can tell he's getting nervous and his coffee comes out. And so I say, why don't you take it and go and hold the plane for me? I'll be right there. So he leaves and now it's taking a minute and another minute and another minute. And I start to realize, holy cow, I'm going to miss this plane. And so I go to the counter and I say to the woman who's, they are really busy. I mean, you can tell she's stressed. And I just lean forward and say, hey, is the drink for Mel about to be done? Because otherwise I'm going to just have to you know, say, give it to somebody. And she, ah, like she had a tantrum. I'm doing the best of my hand. See, when somebody throws a tantrum, here's what I know. What I know is they're having trouble tolerating all the negative emotion that they're feeling. This woman behind the counter is feeling a ton of pressure. She's behind. She's frustrated. I'm sure other people have been rude to her. and my question to her, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She just couldn't handle the negativity and the stress anymore in her body. And so she had a tantrum. She exploded at me. Whatever. She's allowed to have a tantrum. It's a stressful job. I get it. And because I can picture her inside her own little snow globe, having her own little tantrum, all the sparkly stuff flying all around her, that's her negative energy. It stays inside the snow globe. I said, no problem, totally understand. And I left and went to my plane. And you know what? I didn't let it bother me. And that's the beauty of these strategies. See, there are always going to be people and situations in life that are triggering. The world is full of jerks and people who cannot tolerate their own emotional experience. And when you do the four, seven, eight breath to trigger a relaxation response inside yourself, you take control. When you visualize the colleagues sitting behind their desk and they're stomping on their keyboard, having their own little tantrum in their little cubicle, inside their little snow globe, you protect yourself. And that way, these emotional vampires that drain you and your energy, they don't impact you. And this is so important because when you look at the research around human connection, our brains are programmed to connect with other human beings. That's how we're wired. It's part of our biology, our physiology. We want meaningful bonds because when we do that, it not only feels good, but your brain releases oxytocin, which is a wonderful feel-good chemical in your brain. It rewards that kind of thing. And if we feel disconnected, we feel unsafe. In fact, if we're around somebody else who's stressful or weird or hostile like the chick with the ponytail, do you know what happens? Your brain releases yet another chemical, the stress hormone. And so you immediately not only sense that something's off with this person, but you also have this chemical physiological response. I think that's why we often, you know, label people's behavior as toxic or icky or gross, because it feels that way to you, just like a dog that is shaking and gets their mud all over you. And I think we know, common sense-wise, that people's moods and energy are contagious. But there's a new study by scientists at Oxford and Birmingham universities that show that bad moods, they're not only contagious, they're more infectious than good moods. And on top of all of this, your brain has something called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons are amazing because what they do is in nanoseconds, they process and register any human being's facial expression, body language, tone of voice. It's absolutely unbelievable. Your mirror neurons make you start to mirror the same emotions as the people around you. This is why when you're watching a movie and that sort of sappy music comes on or somebody in the movie starts to cry, your mirror neurons are what are triggering you to start welling up too. They also work for the positive. If you look at somebody eye to eye and you hold eye contact and you flash a huge toothy smile, it takes less than five seconds for the mirror neurons and the person who you are looking at and smiling at to kick in. And that person will not be able to help themselves but smile back. And this is important for you to know because it works both for the good. You can catch really good energy. And when it comes to bad energy, that's easier to catch.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and we're talking about ways to protect yourself from negative energy. And I just shared one of my favorite strategies, the snow globe strategy. I use it all the time because it is so simple. It's effective and you can pull it out the moment you need it. In fact, I just used this a few days ago. Here's what happened. I was at a coffee shop again at another airport and we were standing in line and we ordered coffee and they were super, super busy. And it was taking a long time. We had 20 minutes before the flight was going to leave. And Chris was getting testy with me because he's the kind of person, my husband, that we have the opposite travel languages. My travel language is be the last person on the plane. Get to the gate as late as possible without missing the plane. Spend as little time in the airport as possible. Chris, on the other hand, he basically likes to stroll through an airport. He likes to sit at the gate for a while and get comfortable and read his book and enjoy his coffee. He loves getting there early. And so we have the exact opposite travel language. He has agreed to stand in this long line with me to get a cup of coffee. He's starting to get agitated, not quite snow globe agitated, but you know, you can tell he's getting nervous and his coffee comes out. And so I say, why don't you take it and go and hold the plane for me? I'll be right there. So he leaves and now it's taking a minute and another minute and another minute. And I start to realize, holy cow, I'm going to miss this plane. And so I go to the counter and I say to the woman who's, they are really busy. I mean, you can tell she's stressed. And I just lean forward and say, hey, is the drink for Mel about to be done? Because otherwise I'm going to just have to you know, say, give it to somebody. And she, ah, like she had a tantrum. I'm doing the best of my hand. See, when somebody throws a tantrum, here's what I know. What I know is they're having trouble tolerating all the negative emotion that they're feeling. This woman behind the counter is feeling a ton of pressure. She's behind. She's frustrated. I'm sure other people have been rude to her. and my question to her, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She just couldn't handle the negativity and the stress anymore in her body. And so she had a tantrum. She exploded at me. Whatever. She's allowed to have a tantrum. It's a stressful job. I get it. And because I can picture her inside her own little snow globe, having her own little tantrum, all the sparkly stuff flying all around her, that's her negative energy. It stays inside the snow globe. I said, no problem, totally understand. And I left and went to my plane. And you know what? I didn't let it bother me. And that's the beauty of these strategies. See, there are always going to be people and situations in life that are triggering. The world is full of jerks and people who cannot tolerate their own emotional experience. And when you do the four, seven, eight breath to trigger a relaxation response inside yourself, you take control. When you visualize the colleagues sitting behind their desk and they're stomping on their keyboard, having their own little tantrum in their little cubicle, inside their little snow globe, you protect yourself. And that way, these emotional vampires that drain you and your energy, they don't impact you. And this is so important because when you look at the research around human connection, our brains are programmed to connect with other human beings. That's how we're wired. It's part of our biology, our physiology. We want meaningful bonds because when we do that, it not only feels good, but your brain releases oxytocin, which is a wonderful feel-good chemical in your brain. It rewards that kind of thing. And if we feel disconnected, we feel unsafe. In fact, if we're around somebody else who's stressful or weird or hostile like the chick with the ponytail, do you know what happens? Your brain releases yet another chemical, the stress hormone. And so you immediately not only sense that something's off with this person, but you also have this chemical physiological response. I think that's why we often, you know, label people's behavior as toxic or icky or gross, because it feels that way to you, just like a dog that is shaking and gets their mud all over you. And I think we know, common sense-wise, that people's moods and energy are contagious. But there's a new study by scientists at Oxford and Birmingham universities that show that bad moods, they're not only contagious, they're more infectious than good moods. And on top of all of this, your brain has something called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons are amazing because what they do is in nanoseconds, they process and register any human being's facial expression, body language, tone of voice. It's absolutely unbelievable. Your mirror neurons make you start to mirror the same emotions as the people around you. This is why when you're watching a movie and that sort of sappy music comes on or somebody in the movie starts to cry, your mirror neurons are what are triggering you to start welling up too. They also work for the positive. If you look at somebody eye to eye and you hold eye contact and you flash a huge toothy smile, it takes less than five seconds for the mirror neurons and the person who you are looking at and smiling at to kick in. And that person will not be able to help themselves but smile back. And this is important for you to know because it works both for the good. You can catch really good energy. And when it comes to bad energy, that's easier to catch.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and we're talking about ways to protect yourself from negative energy. And I just shared one of my favorite strategies, the snow globe strategy. I use it all the time because it is so simple. It's effective and you can pull it out the moment you need it. In fact, I just used this a few days ago. Here's what happened. I was at a coffee shop again at another airport and we were standing in line and we ordered coffee and they were super, super busy. And it was taking a long time. We had 20 minutes before the flight was going to leave. And Chris was getting testy with me because he's the kind of person, my husband, that we have the opposite travel languages. My travel language is be the last person on the plane. Get to the gate as late as possible without missing the plane. Spend as little time in the airport as possible. Chris, on the other hand, he basically likes to stroll through an airport. He likes to sit at the gate for a while and get comfortable and read his book and enjoy his coffee. He loves getting there early. And so we have the exact opposite travel language. He has agreed to stand in this long line with me to get a cup of coffee. He's starting to get agitated, not quite snow globe agitated, but you know, you can tell he's getting nervous and his coffee comes out. And so I say, why don't you take it and go and hold the plane for me? I'll be right there. So he leaves and now it's taking a minute and another minute and another minute. And I start to realize, holy cow, I'm going to miss this plane. And so I go to the counter and I say to the woman who's, they are really busy. I mean, you can tell she's stressed. And I just lean forward and say, hey, is the drink for Mel about to be done? Because otherwise I'm going to just have to you know, say, give it to somebody. And she, ah, like she had a tantrum. I'm doing the best of my hand. See, when somebody throws a tantrum, here's what I know. What I know is they're having trouble tolerating all the negative emotion that they're feeling. This woman behind the counter is feeling a ton of pressure. She's behind. She's frustrated. I'm sure other people have been rude to her. and my question to her, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She just couldn't handle the negativity and the stress anymore in her body. And so she had a tantrum. She exploded at me. Whatever. She's allowed to have a tantrum. It's a stressful job. I get it. And because I can picture her inside her own little snow globe, having her own little tantrum, all the sparkly stuff flying all around her, that's her negative energy. It stays inside the snow globe. I said, no problem, totally understand. And I left and went to my plane. And you know what? I didn't let it bother me. And that's the beauty of these strategies. See, there are always going to be people and situations in life that are triggering. The world is full of jerks and people who cannot tolerate their own emotional experience. And when you do the four, seven, eight breath to trigger a relaxation response inside yourself, you take control. When you visualize the colleagues sitting behind their desk and they're stomping on their keyboard, having their own little tantrum in their little cubicle, inside their little snow globe, you protect yourself. And that way, these emotional vampires that drain you and your energy, they don't impact you. And this is so important because when you look at the research around human connection, our brains are programmed to connect with other human beings. That's how we're wired. It's part of our biology, our physiology. We want meaningful bonds because when we do that, it not only feels good, but your brain releases oxytocin, which is a wonderful feel-good chemical in your brain. It rewards that kind of thing. And if we feel disconnected, we feel unsafe. In fact, if we're around somebody else who's stressful or weird or hostile like the chick with the ponytail, do you know what happens? Your brain releases yet another chemical, the stress hormone. And so you immediately not only sense that something's off with this person, but you also have this chemical physiological response. I think that's why we often, you know, label people's behavior as toxic or icky or gross, because it feels that way to you, just like a dog that is shaking and gets their mud all over you. And I think we know, common sense-wise, that people's moods and energy are contagious. But there's a new study by scientists at Oxford and Birmingham universities that show that bad moods, they're not only contagious, they're more infectious than good moods. And on top of all of this, your brain has something called mirror neurons. Mirror neurons are amazing because what they do is in nanoseconds, they process and register any human being's facial expression, body language, tone of voice. It's absolutely unbelievable. Your mirror neurons make you start to mirror the same emotions as the people around you. This is why when you're watching a movie and that sort of sappy music comes on or somebody in the movie starts to cry, your mirror neurons are what are triggering you to start welling up too. They also work for the positive. If you look at somebody eye to eye and you hold eye contact and you flash a huge toothy smile, it takes less than five seconds for the mirror neurons and the person who you are looking at and smiling at to kick in. And that person will not be able to help themselves but smile back. And this is important for you to know because it works both for the good. You can catch really good energy. And when it comes to bad energy, that's easier to catch.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and we're talking about ways to protect yourself from negative energy. And I just shared one of my favorite strategies, the snow globe strategy. I use it all the time because it is so simple. It's effective and you can pull it out the moment you need it. In fact, I just used this a few days ago. Here's what happened. I was at a coffee shop again at another airport and we were standing in line and we ordered coffee and they were super, super busy. And it was taking a long time. We had 20 minutes before the flight was going to leave. And Chris was getting testy with me because he's the kind of person, my husband, that we have the opposite travel languages. My travel language is be the last person on the plane. Get to the gate as late as possible without missing the plane. Spend as little time in the airport as possible. Chris, on the other hand, he basically likes to stroll through an airport. He likes to sit at the gate for a while and get comfortable and read his book and enjoy his coffee. He loves getting there early. And so we have the exact opposite travel language. He has agreed to stand in this long line with me to get a cup of coffee. He's starting to get agitated, not quite snow globe agitated, but you know, you can tell he's getting nervous and his coffee comes out. And so I say, why don't you take it and go and hold the plane for me? I'll be right there. So he leaves and now it's taking a minute and another minute and another minute. And I start to realize, holy cow, I'm going to miss this plane. And so I go to the counter and I say to the woman who's, they are really busy. I mean, you can tell she's stressed. And I just lean forward and say, hey, is the drink for Mel about to be done? Because otherwise I'm going to just have to you know, say, give it to somebody. And she, ah, like she had a tantrum. I'm doing the best of my hand. See, when somebody throws a tantrum, here's what I know. What I know is they're having trouble tolerating all the negative emotion that they're feeling. This woman behind the counter is feeling a ton of pressure. She's behind. She's
