--:-- Good morning, girlies, it's the toast. It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast-fired things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly, it's the toast. I sound amazing. How do we start? I'm cracking up. I just had this thought. I'm like, oh, I got it. No, I got it. No, you just hit him with the welcome. Welcome back. Welcome back to the Toast. Happy Monday. The first episode of 2026. The first episode of season nine. Season nine. We're feeling fine. Jax is back. The Toast is back. So much to celebrate. Happy New Year, Jax. How you doing? I'm doing good. This is the first Monday of the new year. This is my first official day back at work. And so it's the Monday is Monday that's ever Monday in the history of Mondays on a Monday. It's so true. Jax, let me say we are thrilled to have you back. Even for people who aren't coming back from maternity leave. Right, right. No, it's a big day for everyone. I was seeing some content about how this holiday season felt longer than other holiday seasons. And why? And it's because Christmas fell on a Thursday. So then Friday is a wash. Then the days leading up to New Year's are a wash. And the New Year's is on a Thursday. Friday's a Of course we take the weekend off. Another weekend. Yeah. It was amazing. It was amazing. And I feel very excited to be back in the saddle. Back to some routine. The holidays were so great, but you can't live like that forever. I could. I just want to say. So funny that you say that, actually. Because I've always thought, like, you know, obviously one day I'll reach a level where I don't need to work. That's obviously in the goals for me. And I could never be that person. I always thought, like, I always need to have something. No, I haven't worked for the last, like, month. And I've been totally fine. extremely fulfilled in my personal life and I just want to say I could definitely do it. Okay. Yeah. I'm learning new things about myself. So we'll work towards that. One thousand percent. Now let's just kind of set the table here. Jax is back. How are you feeling? How are you doing? How is Bebe? Talk us through your journey. So I'm feeling good. I think I said this on a Patreon. And I feel like in the past when I've like come back from maternity leave, it's like, rat-a-ta, I'm back. Bounce back. Rat-a-ta, rat-a-ta. And I feel like this time I'm putting like a lot less pressure on myself because it's like, I have to go back to work, but I'm not out of the bubble. I still feeling very soft physically emotionally spiritually so I still like newborn bubble jacks doing the toast um and i just like want to honor that space that i in you know yes so i just trying to hold space for the two truths while still being able to do this show because like this show is so fantastic we support mamas we support new mamas and whatever i'm feeling is what i can share on the show whatever i'm experiencing whatever i have to bring to the table as well bring to the show and does me still being in Florida make your return to work harder or easier? Because if I was home, I'd be working from home. You'd be working from home. But because I can't leave, we are like out and about at a studio. So what do you have to say to me? So I did have that thought because on the one hand, she's been thinking mean thoughts. No, because initially I was like, well, Claudia is here. That's amazing. Like we're going to podcast together. There's nothing better. But then I'm like, well, shit, I have to commute. I'm out of home. Like when I was working from home, I just like pop upstairs i feed before i feed after right and i don't miss a feed now i'm like pumping all that jazz but it is such a treat to be able to do it in studio with you you know i love my commute even though this morning tesla navigation took me the worst way two trains 1000 red lights um but i am i'm excited to be we love this studio like we love coming to the office also yeah jack and i did not commute together because we are not living together you guys she moved out i moved out You know, I knew my time. I feel like an empty nester. I knew my time being like a guest at your house was coming to a close because like, you know, you had another baby. I had a baby. And it's just like a lot of like people in the house. It was just like a lot, you know. And I think also I spend a lot of time here and I always like would spend more. But you're like living in someone else's house. You know, like you want to get back to your place. And I'm like in your hair. But I really was not ready to go back to New York. So Ben and I got like a little place with a little rental. And it's nice to have our own, you know. Space. Own space. And I knew I was going to be seeing you every day. And I still pretty much come over every single day for like lunch and hangs and play dates. So like, it's fine. Yeah. No, it's been great. And now we're really like coworkers. Okay. We're out front. Did you? I got a great parking spot. I did. See, I don't know if you know, there's also parking in the back. I do know. For girls like me. Yeah, I know. I parallel parked with one hand because I was holding a coffee. Tasty coffee. Oh, I want to move back just quickly. You were talking about how you're in a soft era physically. Yes. And I just wanted to say like, I'm not. I know. Yeah. I started my ZetBound journey after the toast wrapped, so I haven't been able to update everyone. But yes, I just took my fourth shot, so it's been three weeks. Yeah, it's been three weeks. And I lost six pounds. Slay slay all day Yeah it kind of annoying because I started saying I lost six pounds in the middle of last week So it like you kind of plateaued When I had actually lost five pounds Five and a half And then I did my weigh today and it was six And I was just hoping for it to be seven. It's fine. Let's not split hairs. Yeah, no. It's six. That's very exciting. Yeah, it's been wonderful. Highly recommend The Zep Bound Life. Like just try not to rub it in because not all of us are there, you know? I know. And you would say this to me when I was complaining on my breastfeeding journey. like your time is coming and Jackie it's coming no I know and I say it to myself I saw a reel from of course you did people about like the pressure to bounce back versus the pressure to breastfeed yes not even like about anything else like because and I saw in one of the comments by an astute user that it's the dichotomy of woman in order to breastfeed adequately you need to be in a calorie surplus in order to lose weight you need to be in a calorie deficit they're butting heads yeah you cannot bounce back whilst breastfeeding it's just science unless you're a supermodel but for us regular no even the supermodels they're not breastfeeding no like some people like the weight they can't keep it on right breastfeeding right not me not i not i um so yeah i'm just honoring that like i'm a breastfeeding supremacist so i'm just gonna like keep right along right and if you don't like it you could listen to the audio instead of watching the video okay you're talking to yourself because nobody cares but you yeah no it's true I've got some like nice comfortable clothing and by the way a great thing about me still being in Florida and us being forced to use this studio is it's chest up yeah lower half like it's so not my business I find our studio though our home studio is flattering so flattering yeah so I don't really know no trust like if I can like the monitor like chest up she's one pound thank you so much now I do think we should take a minute to talk about you know this year at a glance it's the beginning of the year that our intentions and just clarify with one another this is our ninth season correct you said it is and I said it is because I have a distinct memory of like this episode last year our title being about Like season, we ate with that or something, like ate something. I think maybe that was two years ago. No, we have confirmation. So this is season nine. Yeah. Okay. This is season nine. This is season nine. Let's set some intentions. How do you want this season to be different? How do you want to tackle this season? I want to lead in this season with authenticity Yuck Okay how so by that I mean cold hard truth I love that and that's what authenticity like once meant right right well I have some intentions as well please set them it's gonna be a little bit more of this you know I think that that is authentic yes so when that leads to cold hard truth the last time I was in Florida I wore glasses because I was just like not feeling pretty. And it gave me this power. I wore sunglasses. You lost six pounds. Do you still want to wear them? Oh, sweetie, six pounds. That's sweet. It's five. No, I'm kidding. It's six. I swear it's six. But when I put these glasses on, it emboldened me to just like say things I wouldn't normally say. Like, yes, body blue is a whore. And like, I should be able to say that. And I loved wearing glasses. I loved the energy it gave me. So my goal this year is to bring that energy without the glasses, you know, just sort of sort of year round. It's a performance. Oh yeah, I planned this there in the car. Like I just loved being able to like be myself, be free. I just want you to know in our own ways, we've just said the exact same thing. A thousand percent. And you know, we talk about, especially on the Patreon when we do audio only episodes, why are our audio only episodes so much funnier? Like why can't we be that funny on the regular show? And it's because we have this sort of anonymous like veil over our eyes. And that's what the glasses represent. And let's be veil-less this year, okay? Okay, I'm so down. yeah I'm so down except like then something happens and I think it stops our veils in our and it happened to me last night actually um and also I feel like over the break like a lot of people became toasters I don't know if it's just like a coincidence while I wasn't here but like celebrities and such yeah and oh Jackie I was thinking about that this morning because somebody we're covering today in the fast five um actually reached out to me and told me that they listen to the podcast every day I won't say who it is um and I just want to say what I'm going to say about the story about this person my my take hasn't changed because you know maybe this person needs to hear that okay love that last night I posted like this quiz that I took online about like your reading type because so many people were like you should take this quiz it tells you your reading type and recommends books so of course um the reading type was like bad and the book recs were bad and it didn't describe me at all so I like I posted that and said like I took the inventor of The quiz is a toaster? The inventor of the quiz, wife. Wife is a toaster. I'm screaming, no, it's terrible. He posted my screenshot, I was like, sorry you feel that way, like, Oh no, oh no no oh no not the funding i can't even post a my speech i was like sorry you feel that way like oh no oh no not the funding i can't even post a quiz okay be honest so funny i actually went through something similar last night where i had the like great misfortune of watching that new show on netflix palm beach members only what a piece of zach and i turned it on for five seconds find a bigger group of losers yeah a less cool influential group of people except for that one girl um i wouldn't even like we literally turned it off immediately and i was like this is not a real show and that was before i saw that like people are actually watching it and talking about it i thought it was like the kind of trash that only i watched i was gonna like make i was about literally typing a post being like this piece of shit and i just knew like somebody was gonna somebody like send me like oh my mom's on that show like i just didn't want to be a part of it um so yes having this great big platform is both a blessing and a curse and one that we try to walk as gracefully as one can yeah i'm sorry about that quiz that's terrible so awkward like that's terrible who that goes in the like the philip phillips hall of fame who i didn't think a person a lone man one person made the quiz and i thought it was a company so credit to him your quiz looks like a company your coding is amazing he said he needs more funding yeah quiz better yeah it's not my problem yeah i didn't like the quiz yeah maybe it'll be better for you guys but i also think like you can't put me in a box okay it's true like maybe she'll like the quiz next week or something when it comes to reading like i right i like a little bit of everything you're unpredictable so like a quiz predicting your choices is never gonna work um speaking of reading redheads i know the mystery of the redheads like where did everyone's talking about where's she been serena right um redheads are coming back this week our book for this month was my choice next to heaven by james fray amazing you would love it really our vibe of like wealthy drama i need to start reading again this is the book to get you back into it. I didn't even know that when I picked it three months ago. I'm back, baby. Okay. Reading is like something I've lost in motherhood. And you know, I don't like to talk about the things that I've lost in motherhood because I really haven't lost anything. And you've gained so much. I've gained so much and it's really so wonderful. But I have lost the will to read. And it's not even like I don't have the time. Like we have nap time. Like I happen to have like a wonderful baby who sleeps long hours. Like I have time. Yeah. I just don't have the will. I understand you can't do it all I can't you can't how are you Doing so glad you asked I'm actually Doing amazing like life begins When you stop breastfeeding like People like people always say postpartum Is longer than just the nine months Because one pregnancy is ten months they call it The fourth trimester Yeah And then like the three four months before you start really feeling like yourself again And I feel like that extended while you breastfeeding There are so many hormones. Like I am doing the best that I've been in honestly two years. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. When you were like thinking about weaning, I was telling you like all the pros, all the cons. And then I like called you and I was like, and by the way, like when you stop breastfeeding, like sad like right but like you get to be like the woman and the mom that's exactly what you said you said you're gonna love the type of mom that you're able to be I also didn't realize how much physical energy I was like expending right I had I was so tired all the time Ben would like take Ruby for walks and be like honestly just come back later like I can't do it now I'm doing the walks like the physical energy is huge yeah yeah no I have a whole new lease on life you guys like you're not ready we can't talk about it too much because like we're putting down like the thing that I That you're doing. No, no. It's such an important thing. I know. And until we get our in-house wet nurse, this is just something that you and I have to deal with. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. We decide on the Patreon that our next hire at Toast HQ will be a wet nurse. Yes. She has to live at Jackie's house because we need her to be absorbing our germs and stuff. Yeah. No, she needs to be part of the family. She needs to be Margo. Literally. Margo, start lactating. We also did so much content on Patreon while we were gone. And if you're not a patron member, I'm sorry that you missed it. It was fabulous. I feel like we also said like a lot of, a lot of truths on there too. Yeah. A lot of truth. We're kind of in our truthful season. Okay. And I feel like when, when, when we look at culture, we're always talking about, oh, this generation, like they're, what do they need? They need truth. Hard truth. This is just truth social. Okay. Like for real, I am taking the glasses off. Okay. And I'm ready. In a physical sense, but not in an emotional sense. Wait, what? You're taking the glasses off physically, but not like emotionally. Verbally. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Should we get into. Oh, and there's also so much to talk about. There's so much to talk about. Alex Earl, Kelsey Ballerine. The theme today is love. Zach Bryan. Yeah. In all different forms. And your cup is a beautiful symbol. A beautiful reminder of that love. Like every story today is couples news. I guess, you know, the holidays people couple up, people decouple. People get married. People thank their partner of three years. Things happen. People what? Thank their partner of three years. Oh people thank their partner of three years You my partner of nine years You literally are Actually you my partner of like our lives Oh that so beautiful i thought you were like but you not counting the breath when you do oh that true we don count the breath we actually been podcasting for 10 years we don get enough credit for that but we only say nine because we don't talk about that one year i still had my mole um i was like it just doesn't count and it's like it's not really our year like we don't own the intellectual property yeah um so yeah we could split hairs we could but i think nine feels right next year when we're double digits like i don't we're having a party obviously we're always having a yeah right but it's weird because like two years ago we celebrated our toastiversary that was for six then seven we skipped a party so coming up on eight but we're on season nine yes okay we have this conversation every year it's our ninth season our eighth year Right. But how does that make sense? Joggers. Joggers. Not my problem. But we've had this conversation every year. It's correct. Okay. So happy season nine. Should we get into season nine? Give you a taste of what you can expect for Toast 2026? I guess that we should, except for the fact that it requires me to do the ads. And I haven't done an ad in like three weeks. I don't know if I can do it. I think you're a professional, a consummate professional, doing this for eight or nine years. depending on who you ask. So now without further ado, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you to do need to know. And the Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by Bear Bells, which is certainly fueling my life. Are you like one of the many Americans who are making protein their 2026 New Year's resolution? Well, if you are, you need Bear Bells, the protein bar that put taste first while still bringing you 15 to 20 grams of protein in every bar. Honestly, I was never a protein bar girl. Stop. I was never a protein bar girl. And then when I went on a Zempik, I really needed to start eating protein. And Ben made me. And everyone recommended Bearbells. And I had one this morning. Actually, you want to do something crazy? Me and Ben both eat them. But Ben only has a half in the morning. And then this morning, I go into the box. And there's two open halves. Like, that's just what it's like to live with Ben. But that's not what this ad copy is about. So Bearbells is the number one protein bar in the US. They've really nailed the perfect combination of indulgence and convenience. So they have 20 delicious flavors. They're the best tasting protein bar out there. Because I think a lot of protein bars have a lot of protein. But they're literally disgusting. No, this is like a Kansy bar. It's so good. I love the chocolate dough flavor. It's the blue one. Chocolate. Chocolate. 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And then when you're ready to launch, you can use our code toast to to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain squarespace use code toast Get a welcome You welcome Thank you Koji What the first one Alex Earl right yeah okay Alex Earl was spotted canoodling with Tom Brady in St Bart so much so much so even before she was seen with Tom Brady I was so excited to talk about she was having the best holiday ever she was on a yacht filled with celebs Kelly and Miles Teller Glenn Powell and Michelle Randolph manager miles like lots of famous people it was just like a pargy place for her to be and i let me into dobrev i loved it i didn't need anything else honestly i was like girl love that then the tom brady thing and i will say i first saw it on dumois and it was one video and they were just talking and so and but she was rubbing his back in wide circle but that wasn't the first one i saw oh okay so i was like okay you know what like love that but it's obviously not like you know it's just like yeah they're in the same group and they're talking yeah just like you would talk to like your dad's friend like whatever and then i saw like the rest of the content everyone on same parts doing the lord's work in getting all the different angles and i was like oh my god it's what we think it is and immediately like obsessed a lot there are a lot of different takes i want to know what the streets are saying before i share my thoughts so the streets are like jealous bitches this like it's important to know like all the jealous bitches live on the street okay and that's why they're jealous bitches and they're like this is disgusting what about braxton like girl shut the fuck up like you would do it too if you were alex earl she is so hot she is so famous she is so young she is the name on everybody's lips and it's like yeah there are a lot of jokes like tom brady since the roast he's definitely like a loser but like he's tom fucking brady like everyone acting like they wouldn't do the exact same thing like girl yes you would and sorry like i don't give a fuck about braxton like i don't i love this for alex earl and it's so funny because if i'm talking about it from two different perspectives like tom brady like you're literally disgusting like that could be your daughter you're disgusting Alex Earl yes queen yes like I have two different perspectives based on who I'm like talking about got it it's definitely a confounding one it's not like the immediate slay and I don't ship to be clear I don't know he's not good enough for her he's disgusting but he's Tom Brady like she had to do it I guess if the opportunity presents itself like you should do it but to me this is like the first signal that like maybe her and braxton ended a little bit contentiously because you don't like go and like publicly hook up with your man's idol like he probably had posters to be clear she wasn't publicly hooking up with him she was hooking up she actually also i didn see them kiss did you they just like chatting and like the friendly the rubbing back the rubbing on the back Also like that something you do like when you hella mature like I know like very tactile right? Like you would think like she's the underdog, right? She's so much younger. He's the goat putting the moves on that back rub. Like she's in control. She's in control. I completely agree. I wasn't, once I saw the back rub, I wasn't worried about her. I'm like, this bitch knows what she's doing. I'm not worried about her at all. Um, but I feel like depending on who you ask, like what Tom Brady means to them, like for some people, this is like, the catch of all catches like for me it's a little like leo it's very leo and it's sort of a rite of passage if you're gonna become an it girl yeah i get yeah yeah no it's all good for like the alex name yeah you know and now she's in even more homes and she's pen and she could date anyone now sports world and i said it more significant way i just feel like i'm always calling it with alex earl i feel so like obsessed with her not in a weird way in a very healthy and normal way for a woman my age um and i knew like i like that she like had a rise to fame with a boyfriend who was like stable and i feel like it was actually really good for her but at some point like she's alex earl and something like this was just bound to happen i'm so glad that it did i loved just being a user and a regular regular person enjoying all of the content i don't ship i don't think that they will ever see each other again i think that the reaction online it's too much for tom brady like i think that like it was a moment i don't think they're dating maybe i'm wrong because i am wrong about stuff classic yeah like taylor never met before like taylor travis but i do think it was just like a vacation like romance a fling fun thing to do perfect for her celebrity i don't think she needs to see him again um and i don't want them to start dating they do both live in florida but i don't want them to start dating like this is just this solidifies Alex is like a true A-list celebrity. Actually now I kind of want them to start dating. It would just be so interesting. Yeah. Did you see the video with his flashlight on? No. So somebody was filming them from the back and his phone was in his back pocket of his jeans and his flashlight was on. It was like as if their age discrepancy like couldn't have been more obvious. Yeah. Like he can't keep up. She's dancing and he's like definitely getting tired. And then his flashlight's on. It's like, girl. Yeah. It was a sign. Go home, dad. Literally go I loved watching everyone in St. Bar. It's like, ugh. It looked purgy. Do you see Bethany went and like hated it? She did a whole video about how it's like the hunger games of celebrity fashion socialites. And I think she left early, like she hated it. And then everybody got stranded there because they closed the Venezuelan airspace on like January 1st So they couldn get home Oh I didn know that part of the story Right So I think the party continued I didn know how the capture of Maduro affected those on St Bart The capture of Maduro is like an extremely linear event. And like it actually impacted Alex Earl directly. And you wouldn't think that it would, but it did. Those two things could be related. So yeah, everyone got stranded there. Like that's so interesting. I liked Bethany's take. I thought what she said about like everyone's at the party, like wondering if they're at the right party. It's extremely real. Yeah. And I would just say, like, if you were on that boat, you wouldn't be worried. You were in the right place. Right. But she was also on the Bezos boat. Who was? Bethany. That's where she spent New Year's. That's like the close friends that she spent New Year's with. She was with Lauren, her close friend. Like what I think about dream friends. That's also another boat that would be the right boat to be on. Well, setting our intentions for 2026, I think like befriending and having Lauren Sanchez Nicole Bezos on the podcast should be like a big goal of ours. She lives in Florida. You know, she's one of my favorite children's book authors. Oh, really? Yeah. I have to give you her book. I read it. The Fly Who Flew to Space. It's awful. That's not how you're going to make a friendship. No. Okay. Cut that out. Okay. Cut it out. It's literally the best book. I was reading it and I was laughing. It's literally the best book. I was reading it. I was laughing. Like, it was just, I actually have never read a book. You really loved it. No. And like, I know Homer think he like did something with the Odyssey, but he had never read The Fly Who Flew. to space. No, and there's a sequel coming up. No, I'm on the wait list. Like I. Stop. And I just think she's like such a prolific woman. She is. And I'm not being sarcastic now. I love her. Like I really want to become friends with her. She's done like really great things for culture and the bridge between like the business world and the celebrity world. And I think that's actually really like a skill set that she has that she should be teaching others. I love that Bethany was on her boat. Slay Bethany. Slay mama. Yeah, I think they're friends. I believe it. They're definitely like of the same elk. Yeah. Hustlers. Yeah. Hustlers. Much like us. Yeah. Makes you think. So Licks and Tom. Tom and Licks. Literally like the best moment of my life. That's like a where were you type of thing. It was a shock. Some things you just can't predict. You know, you couldn't write it any better. I know. But I can't explain why for me. Like it didn't do everything that it did for you. Oh, it was one of the best moments of my year. And it just started the years off to a great start. Yeah, I loved it. Yeah, well, let's see what happens next. And I just wanna thank Kelly Teller. it was one of the best moments of my year and it just started the year's off to a great start yeah it was one of the best moments of my year and it just started the year's off to a great start yeah i loved it yeah well let's see what happens next and i just want to thank kelly teller i just feel like in some way she was responsible she is always at the intersection of like giving the fans what they want and like major celebrities like it's so crazy she's married to literally the most famous man in the world and she's in the best rooms ever and at the end of the day she's just a girl you know no and the girls on the trip looks like they were having so much fun you know she's like coming back to the boat like oh my god should i with tom yeah and they're all sitting down yeah yeah no and i just know in some way that she was responsible and we owe her like a huge debt of gratitude yeah are you ready for our next story if we have to stop talking about alex we could always go back i just feel like she'll come up she will our next story though is some more beautiful relationship news timothy chalamet declares his love for kylie jenner in a sweet critics choice awards 2026 speech so the critics choice awards were last night if that's the sort of thing that you're into. Timothee Chalamet won an award for his performance in Marty Supreme. Which we need to see. Oh, I just want to say, I am so behind. I have not seen anything since November. I didn't even see Wicked 2. I haven't caught up with anything. There's a couple of things we absolutely have to see for the job. We need to see Marty Supreme. Agreed. I do think I'm going to go on that journey again that I did last year, watching all the Oscar movies so I can give real takes. What are the other ones? Nothing popular. Just we'll hear about them when they're nominated. Wicked 2. So I need to see it. That's not good. That's not. And by the way, Trader starts this week. We're going to be so busy. My new favorite show. I'm watching all the shows this week. Yeah, I'm watching all the shows. I'm seeing all the things. I need to see Marty Supreme. I'm so close to being caught up on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. So you can expect recaps from me. Like I haven't watched anything except for David Attenborough, Our Planet. I'm obsessed. Like I've just, it lulls me to sleep. I've been such a bad influencer. I've only watched Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. At least you're doing something. I've been on episode three of last season reunion for like 10 days. My life starts today. Like I'm back. Yeah. When does The Bachelor premiere? Usually it's the first week of January, but I haven't, like it's not. It was like when we were 16. I don't know if they're still on that schedule. They should be. That's a miss for you guys because I was ready to take you on. Timothy and Kylie. I feel like they've done a couple of award shows together. Not always walking the carpet, but they've sat together. He's never won. And I feel like when somebody wins, we study like who he kisses first. What does he do? Does he go to his mom? And this was the first, hopefully of many. because I do think Marty Supreme like last year that Bob Dylan movie I sorry Timothy was never winning Like him um nominated was like seriously charity work the worst movie ever this year he actually has a shot at a bunch of awards so i do think this is not going to be the first the last time we see like kiss whatever like you know and it was genuinely too much his he literally went straight to kylie he he loves her thanked her in his speech he said lastly i would like to thank to say thank you to my partner of three years thank you for our foundation I love you I couldn't do this without you thank you from the bottom of my heart and then she mouthed I love you no stop okay so I'm literally giddy first of all second of all I need to discuss the use of the word partner it feels like because at a certain level like I feel it feels like a domestic partnership because they're not gonna get married they're not right it reminded me up until recently of Taylor Swift like Joe was her partner they were like basically married um and i feel like the use of the word partner is extremely intentional and we need to like look really deep into it because it's not girlfriend no and at some point it's like i'm sorry but if you get up there and think you're girlfriend what are you 12 agreed yeah fiance sounds nice partner sounds great i feel like there are words you can use that make it say would sound nice yeah but there are words you can use to make it the relationship sound more serious and him using the word partner yeah is crazy i agree i i can accept if they never get married same or but he should at least like propose to her so that she can have a piece of jewelry that um so i'm really on baby watch because i think that's what's next for them yeah and i think they're gonna be in each other's lives forever no i think timothy would make an amazing father yeah and she's an amazing mom of course i'm sure he's already like a great I don't know what you would call him. Like step. He's not the stepfather. He's the father who stepped up. The step partner, you know? Yeah. I wonder what Stormy thinks about Timothy. She seems like really like a lovely girl. So I'm sure she's really jazzed. Kylie looked gorgeous. She did. They also went to the Palm Beach Music Festival of the Arts or whatever for this movie. And Club Chalamet was in attendance. Did you see? I did. the Palm Springs Film Festival. Whatever. Yeah. Generous for them to go. I just feel like they wanted to spend the weekend in Palm Springs. Yeah. That's an easy one. Like we'll stay at my place. Right. Right. We'll check it off the list. Club Chalamet was in attendance and Club Chalamet did let everybody know on Twitter that she said hi to Timothy, wished him a happy birthday. And then somebody was like, did you see Kylie And she was like it was civil Like she But at this point like if you love Timothy like you have to accept kylie because that his partner and that his foundation that got him to win these awards that like you love him for right that shit bitch the year of truth um so this is just like really really beautiful i'm so happy for my girl i need to see him handling like this spotlight this is a new spotlight for her like being in the arts in the arts the partner of a beloved actor very serious and she is just floating through graceful with style and grace and you know she's still being kylie uh-huh sexy like the the faces are the same she's just i can do it all so i don't know if you saw jimmy and his assistant from hacks they dressed up as kylie and timothy which like when i saw it i rolled my eyes i'm like okay huh and then they did an interview like it was so funny i was laughing so hard and like i wanted to hate it but it was funny what was so funny that they like lent them the exact habits and meg salter was like it's like a glove It was funny. Yeah, I know. I know. That is funny. Yeah. I liked it because it felt like already Timothy and Kylie and their red carpet style. It's like Britney and Justin. Yes. It was duplicated and triplicated. That's an amazing comparison. Thank you. And to be able to recognize it like weeks later. To reference or not reference. To reference or not reference. Put it in a blender. Mix it up. Give birth to it. Breastfeed it. Hate breastfeeding. Yeah, right. right before me i just want to say this was so magical i feel like this the theme of the stories was like everything every time i saw one of these stories and that's why we really should be doing podcasts every three weeks because the stories like every single one of them like i had such heightened like when i saw kylie and timothy like and i heard the speech like giddy straight up giddy yeah loved i love love i love love um i just need to see him on kardashians like that's how you know but she's not even on kardashian it's so true so it should give us nothing this season like literally she could not have given us less if she tried he would sooner be on life of kylie like she the best show is committed to giving the kardashians nothing yeah that's unfortunate yeah maybe on her youtube you know no why like a vlog of him cooking with cookies with stormy okay nicola and brooklyn like cooking well she she does kylie does love to cook shrimp tacos always yeah really need a life like that insane that i know that that would be like someone knowing that like you love chicken rocks Okay so it not weird because everybody knows I love chicken rocks Yeah Thanks guys Are you ready for our next story No, I went to, like, now we're, like, the family who does stuff, you know? That's what it means to have kids. Yeah, we're always doing stuff. And so we're, like, looking at, like, local. We went to Butterfly World. It was amazing. And this girl came up to me. She was like, are you the girl who lost six pounds? It was funny. Oh, that's hysterical. Yeah, I was like, wait, it is me. Yeah, it was really funny. now are you ready for our next story thank you for sharing that anecdote like i guess yeah i just feel like at some point i'm gonna have to do the next ad and like i just don't want to stop swirling with my swirl i understand um and like if we were giddy about like the stories before we're about to like nosedive a bit because chase stokes and kelsey back ballerini are back together after a messy year for the heart oh yeah yeah yeah the heart was messy yeah um so he posted on instagram after like a lot of instagrams that i personally didn't keep up with no we were talking about it on your maternity leave he was like making these sort of lame ass desperate pleas on instagram um dumois was saying that he had been unfaithful kelsey found out and was like absolutely not and also i think like the song that she put out put out which one um the park people please oh yeah i sit in i sit in parks like is also germane to this conversation okay and so you need to study the lyrics at ac lyrics.com to understand how kelsey feels and kelsey's like in a like a serious era of her life like she's making big decisions she's thinking about the future and like he's out over here like filming in charleston like fucking other girls i don't think so and then like being messy on instagram like sorry guys i tried wishy-washy back and forth to the fans like making kelsey the villain when i saw that i was so done with him whilst also i think a sprinkle of what the children called love bombing and euphemisms for his bad behavior, such as a messy year for the heart. It means like I was a bad boy. I did my girl dirty. So after all that they posted, I think on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day, like a bunch of pictures together saying they were together. Kelsey gave had to have given like some sort of caveat being like, sorry, I've changed my mind. And can you read what she wrote? It was like, oh, well, I have what he wrote, which is something I've learned this year. Don't take advantage of the most beautiful thing that in 33 years of life are fleeting. Take accountability. Learn from mistakes, lean into love and say it often. 2026, my year of growth, my year of truth. Oh, okay. We're aligned. Okay. I changed my mind. I'm team Chase. Starting here, starting now. Happy New Year's. She wrote messy year for the heart. Oh, that was her quote. Yeah. Messy year for the outside. Hey, I changed my mind. Hey, I changed my mind. I'm team Chase. Starting here, starting now. Happy New Year's. She wrote messy year for the heart. Oh, that was her quote. Yeah. Messy year for the outside coming in. Messy year for the way it became an out of our hands portrayal of it. Well, that's his fault. Yeah. And, you know, the public and fame. Of course, of course. But what I'll say and all I really care to share indefinitely with my personal life anymore is that I really love love. I believe in it. I believe in him and I believe in breaking patterns. Now go kiss your person and stop speculating. Okay. So she said he cheated. Yeah. He cheats. He's a big fat cheater. And I am going to give him another chance because I believe in more chances and that people can change. And I believe in the love that we share because I love him. And I think what she's saying is like at the end of the day, if I get screwed over, like I was just like being positive, you know, and I actually heard when I saw this, I like rolled my eyes and then I read her thing and it did like ward me off a little bit. I'm like, you know what? That's sweet. Like, how do you expect to find love if you're not like open to whatever? I fear that this is just sort of like a canon event that every woman has to like learn on their own terms like we can't interfere you know like these are the type of things that like shape a woman the only thing with Kelsey and I'll say that kind of sucks for her is she's opened up opened up so much about her personal life in the last couple of years and it's all like very empowering it's all like accept nothing but the best and then you know sometimes you have to accept a little less and it just like she put herself in a bad position because it's like she's always writing and everybody like uses her music as like inspiration it's like you know what yes like you can walk away from this marriage if it doesn't serve you and it's like you want people to show up for you and it's like well she girl boss a little too close to the sun because like you know sometimes we all just like you know we put up with what we put up with it's just a part of life and people are not perfect and so her being the face of like accepting nothing less than the best through her music she's kind of like set herself up for failure because you know we've all been here it's fine right no and it is a really high bar to set in general but then you're with the big fat cheater and it's like well they're certainly better than that even if it's right the best right so i personally i believe that people can change i'm big into chances from what i've read in the blinds and such like dumois says it's like a pattern yeah it wasn't like a one time you know i tripped into her vagina type of thing or a two time right three time but what does dumois know you know it's always important to ask yourself dumois either knows everything or nothing dumois I was like going hard in the paint with this. With this one yeah I think he cheats a lot I think he a big cheater Okay chase the cheater that you should i think that sometimes you have to compromise in a relationship i don think that's something that you should accept especially like in actually period there's no but this is supposed to be like the best of times right um so i i just don't know how someone can like change that drastically but then bringing her song into it like she does want a future kid right and And I don't know that this is the way there, but. But she's trying. Yeah, these two just took such a nosedive. To me, they were like the happiest, most perfect couple. Not only that, as a couple, they took a nosedive, but also like when it comes to personal like image and likeability, these are two people who have never really had anything but glowing reviews for them as people. And now once they posted this, everyone's like rolling their eyes. And it's the first time I think either of them are encountering like fatigue with fans because up until this point it was like everything like yes yes yes give us more and that's a girl and i think that's going to be hard for their relationship because they're used to being beloved and it's easy yeah when when everyone loves you it's easy every time you pose a picture it's like you want to keep being in love because everyone loves it yeah but now we're all like well should we and then i feel like it starts to sour because these aren't two people who are totally offline they know yeah sometimes like everyone's rooting for you it makes you root Of course. For you too. But sometimes the public perception of your relationship cannot penetrate your relationship because you are so removed from the internet. Highly intimidating. Right. But. Not to compare. No, no. But Chase, he took to Instagram stories to like plead for her love. Like these are two people who are not offline. They know. And I do think it actually can penetrate. So my advice then would be just to like unplug. Yeah. Or just, you know, see it through. Maybe this is just dying a very slow death. Right. Some things do. Right. slow and painful right i don't know i'll also say like i don't really i haven't kept up with their relationship as much as i just like keep up with her music right um and there hasn't been a lot to keep up with in the relationship it's just been good yeah it's just been good in the beginning right right everyone was following in the beginning he was coming to shows knowing the words cheering on and then they just like sailed off into happy bliss so no one really kept up with them they sailed back right and then it got really weird yeah smash burger in croatia but i'm I'm gonna like also blame that on his personality a little bit. 1000%. If there's something wrong here, it's him. I'm just saying, I'm calling it now. I'm calling it now. Are you ready for our fourth story If it our fourth story that brought to you by Thrive Market Yes Oh I just got a Pargy delivery from Thrive Market to set the year off right Well it a new year but same chaos in the kitchen What if your pantry could actually make your life easier And what if shopping did not have to be a physically backbreaking, strenuous, and also stressful experience? Well, introducing Thrive Market. It is grocery shopping done entirely online and done in a healthy way. So if you're looking for snacks, cooking ingredients, kitchen supplies, cooking cleaning supplies. Thrive Market has everything that you could need from any grocery store, but it's all being delivered right to your house and it's all being done with the best possible ingredients. So I'm actually have the distinct honor of interviewing the biggest customer to ever shop at Thrive Market. And it's Jacqueline Follet. 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Go to stamps.com, use code TOTES to get 60 days risk-free. 60 days gives you plenty of time to see exactly how much time and money you're saving on every shipment. That's stamps.com, S-T-A-M-P-S.com. Code toast, stamps.com, code toast. It's a risk-free 60-day trial. Go to stamps.com, use code toast for that 60 days risk-free, giving you plenty of time to see how much time and money you're going to save. Thank you, stamps.com, for your long-standing support of our show. It doesn't go unnoticed and we love you. Thank you very much. Our next story, wedding bells for Zach Bryan. He married- Spooky wedding bells. He married Samantha Leonard in Spain after a whirlwind romance. So the country singer posted a photo on Instagram of him in a tux carrying his beautiful bride. It was leaked online first. It was like a video of him running through the streets of Spain carrying a girl in a wedding dress and he was wearing a tux and they got into a convertible that said just married. So and then we saw this photo. So it's giving more like actual wedding. Yeah, I saw a photo of the inside. It was definitely planned. It was like looked like, you know, a Mindy Weiss affair. I was just like, oh, they got hitched. No, them being married is not crazy. Like him having this whirlwind romance with a girl that looks like Brianna Chicken Fry like none of this is surprising to me the thing that is surprising and that like actually takes a lot to shock me I'm a woman who's seen a lot was the caption of course tougher than the rest so he posted a photo of him carrying his blushing bride and the caption was tougher than the rest which on its face like might not no even on its face it's insane he's basically saying history is what makes it so crazy no because even if we didn't know like he was like had a history of abusing women, making your first photo with your wife about your exes, like that's just like a toxic thing to do. But say you like didn't know about the exes. Oh, I guess everyone has exes. Tougher than the rest. Not like can't wait for our beautiful life together. Referencing your exes, even beyond what we know about him, is such a toxic thing to do. I would be like, oh, girl, run. When the rest of your exes have left you because you have been so abusive towards them, it makes the caption even crazier. It is literally, first of all, it's an mission, right? Right Yeah I can even wrap my head around what he possibly meant like thought he was saying because for me I just like Hung up on like the abuse. And I know the day like she's it's not going to work out, we're going to hear from her and. You think so? I don't know. Like, I just want to say one thing, and I'm really not trying to be a woman who doesn't support other women. But like Brianna Chicken Fright, she turned down 12 million dollars to save other women. Right. like we know and if you chose not to believe her whatever like how does a girl like this end up in this situation and i know he's famous and rich and it's very alluring and at some point you are powerless but like it was the biggest story in the world maybe she's tougher than the rest stop like no it's it's a really hard line it's it's hard to know what to say like because because i do feel like we will hear from her and and like it's terrible i don't even know what she's going through and it's like i just know it's horrible i know he's like the scariest person on the planet. Maybe we won't hear from her because maybe she will take the money, like a million other things. But it's like, did Brianna Chicken Fry die on the cross for nothing? For him to literally get married to a twin less than a year later? I don't know. I don't know what the right thing is, but it's like, girl, I'm praying for you. I'm seriously praying for you. And like, I do believe in change. I do believe people can change 100%. And I don't believe that he can. I'm just like, when I talk about people, I'm not talking about Zach Bryan. Yeah. You have to want to change first. And I don't think that- You have to know you're wrong. I don't think anything that happened in the last year, like had him like sit down and think hard. He's just like, you know, going hard. He is who he is. Yeah. The caption is so crazy. The story of them getting married, like I literally don't care. Then Brianna like took to TikTok. She posted a Taylor Swift song as like a reaction, you know, for Taylor Swift's mastermind. And then she was voicing the lyrics like checkmate. I couldn't lose. I don't feel like that applies here. Maybe she was just making a TikTok. Like that audio is like common. Oh, so you're just saying like they're just, she didn't. She makes a lot of TikToks to Taylor Swift lyrics. And sometimes you could be like, well, if she made one to Dear John, for sure. This song, read the lyrics again. Mastermind? I don't consider. Pull up with a TikTok. Maybe seeing it. Sometimes when people describe a TikTok in an article, everything is lost. TikToks cannot be orated. And I just want to say, I don't think that Travis was really saying him and Taylor don't fight. Speaking of things lost in trends. Yeah, I agree, by the way. Okay, cool. Okay, Brianna. Let's go to the primary source. How about 2026 is the year of primary sources? Ugh, fine. I know. Well when it just a TikTok like that fine That not it That not it It looks like this Oh here Oh she just says checkmate I couldn lose That has nothing to do with him I'm just saying. She should have posted, you new girl is my clone. And then I would have. That would have been really on the nose. But maybe she's saying. I just think the first TikTok. And she has to post TikTok. She is a TikToker. I think the first thing she posted after he got married was going to be like, it's about Zach. And I actually don't think it is. I feel like she's saying like I didn't lose. You know, because sometimes when your man moves on and married, it's like, well. No, I really don't. I don't really want to think about it anymore. I really this man has been foisted on me. I just want to say I've never been a Zach Bryan fan. I'm genuinely proud to say that. And his music. So we talked about it before we knew he was like a crazy abuser. His music missed us. And it was like, well, we should. We love country music. I got him confused for a while with Zach Brown. And like justice for Zach Brown, like you just know people get him confused with Zach Brown. Zach Brown's ex also has things to say. Yeah, that's true. They're similar. But he's with Kendra Scott. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. One of my faves. I know. I forgot what I was saying, but it's like. You want to move on from this story is what you said. Did I? I feel like you said that and you want to move on. Sure, sure. No, no. I feel like you said it. Did she say it? She didn't say it. No, thank you. I didn't say it. She didn't say it. Okay. You did. You did. No, I know I did. I thought you said it too. I just feel like if Rihanna was going to respond in the form of a Taylor Swift lip sync, like there's so many other things she could do. Okay. So that's, you're saying she's not responding. No, she might. She will. She's not never, she's not like shy about talking about it. And people are like, when is she going to stop? It's like, girl, if that were you, like if that were me, you would never fucking hear. I would be shouting from the goddamn rooftops. And I feel like a lot of people talk about like abuse they endured and they don't say the person's name. And like, I just, I name them. I love when people name them. yeah because like when i google that person like it should come up for other girls too so leave her alone honestly sounds good yeah are you ready for our fifth and final story a little confirmed new couple news sorry to turdy but joe jonas is dating model tatiana gabriella more than a year after settling his divorce from sophie turner have i updated everyone that like i'm so back on my joe jonas crush you have i don't know if it was on this show or on the patreon joe jonas Jonas was like my celebrity crush my whole life. And then like John Mayer took over and then I got so over John Mayer and Joe Manganiello was like a brief fling And I kind of been like looking for a celebrity crush and I so back with Joe Jonas and now he has a girlfriend how do you feel about that well I also have a husband so like it's only fair that he could have a girlfriend for sure but like it might influence your thoughts on his couplings I don't know anything about her I feel like he's in this stage he's been spotted with a couple of people sort of like this is gonna be so mean but like nameless faceless models like they mean models they mean nothing to me um I don't know why everyone's acting like this one's different I just feel like he's commented on her Instagram yeah he's like claiming her yeah no and that's good like I I just I don't think that this is the one you don't think she's the next Jay sis I'm not threatened okay but I'm happy for him that he's happy you know his brothers have love and yeah Sophie and Pellegrino yeah he deserves that too no Sophie and Chris Martin no but she's like back with Pellegrino and then Dakota and role model a ship sure yeah she's gonna be sally i feel like she wouldn't do a good job like she wouldn't be a good sally i feel like she would i feel like she has more charm and charisma and riz than people think yeah i think i think she has a lot of charm and charisma but like personality wise not like dancing no i think she's always surprising people that's true i feel like we're she's constantly being underestimated 1000 however like when it comes to dakota and roll this is a blind spot like that i'm happy to keep in the rear view. I want to give you three chances to guess a role model's real name. Tucker. You knew it. What? You're lying. No, you knew that was his name. It's not it. Yeah, no. His name is Tucker. It is? You're lying. You obviously knew that. Why would you say Tucker? I just want to say, I did not know. You did. I want to say that was completely a guess. However, it's possible that I once read that. That is somewhere in my mind. Obviously. Why would you say Tucker? I don't even think you know that name. I'm like, I just, I guessed it. She's fucking with me. I'm not. You're lying. I don't know his last name. Okay, we're fucking with you. His name's not Tucker. Now you know I'm a truth teller. It is Tucker. I'm Googling it. It is, it is, it is. It's Tucker Roll. Model. I don't know his last name. It's Tucker. Roll model singer. Tucker Pillsbury. I just want to say. Are you messing with me now? If I ever saw his name, I would have remembered Pillsbury too. And I just want to say. It makes me feel like I didn't know it was Tucker. I do think that a lot of times celebrities change their names unnecessarily. Like for a stage name. I would have remembered Pillsbury too. I would have remembered Pillsbury too. And I just want to say. It makes me feel like I didn't know it was Tucker. I do think that a lot of times like celebrities change their names like unnecessarily. Like for like a stage name. And Tucker Pillsbury was never becoming famous. And I think him coming up with his own stage name, which for a while, like I didn't understand why he had a separate name. I totally get it now. It's more than that. It's Tucker Harrington Pillsbury. He's like royal, but fat. He's giving like billionaire. Totally. From the Pillsbury fortune. He's from Maine. Maine is very, you know. It's both. Quiet wealth. Yeah. His father's a real estate appraiser. His mother's a special ed teacher. That's so cute. As a child, he was heavily inspired by Elvis Presley. And why is his name role model? Okay, first he went by Tucker. then he changed his name to role model and switched from rapping to singing oh yikes they didn't say oh he allegedly took his name from paul rudd character in the 2008 film role models oh in an interview i must have missed that one zach saying he confirmed this was a joke i'm sorry okay it turns out like he's not that interesting so yeah oh he used to date emma chamberlain oh yeah and then emma chamberlain recently like that's the only time i'd ever heard of him and he was a really small artist like she was definitely like you should quit music like It was like not happening. And then the Sally thing like really made him. The song went really viral on TikTok. And then the whole concert like, who's my Sally tonight? Really made. And then that audio of him saying, who's my Sally tonight? Has become like really viral. And Emma did it the other day. And like the internet broke. It was cute. So I think that they're on good terms. That is cute. They did it for a while. And Emma was with Breener for New Year's. Was she? Yeah. She was in Breener's carousel. Breener has like a couple of like random famous friends. She's like best friends with Joey King. Okay. And I guess Emma James. cute I don't like that I just said that I'm a James I felt like really chewy can you guys cut that out what else do you want to talk about like I'm so sad I don want to wrap this up yet I know but we have a great week of shows for everyone we gonna be together doing our thing and like I did you feel like in the beginning like it always like we get our feet wet a little bit Like I feel like we were a little shy in the beginning of the episode Oh, I don't think so. I think we came out guns blazing. I think this is one of our best episodes of the year. Oh, it's our best episode of the year. And what are you thinking for the title? Like what's our tagline of the year? I guess it's like truth. The year of truth. We can like, we can either like go that route. I feel like we say this every year, by the way. We're going to care less. like we're always like we give no thoughts well i feel like when we think well now that the year is over like we can talk about it at a glance or fave um and i wouldn't say that 2025 was necessarily the year of truth like for me but i wouldn't say it was a year of lies no no but for me like the theme of 2025 was growth wow okay for you for uh like i'm not just speaking for myself for you as well oh okay man personally we're pregnant you had a baby right yeah yeah lots of growth for me lots of growth like the toast expanded we had two maternity leaves like we were growing yeah and we said this on the patreon we do apologize for the double maternity leave we did not plan it and we actually are going to try to plan it next time so that we can like ideally sync up and have one shared maternity leave because it not reasonable like this is a crazy year yeah yeah but i don know how that really would work either well let start spending more time together and our cycles will be synced and then we just have to leave it up to the lord yeah so i do think that 2026 like is poised to be the year of truth um which i think it poised to be the year of the toast like i'm just putting it out there yeah always always um so we could go with that title wise truth social like that was a cackle fest the whole episode was a cackle fest Also, cut that out would be like a really fun. Like, oh, what do they want to cut out? Right, right. Heavily edited episode. Click here. Yeah. That's our title. So yeah, we'll noodle on it. Yeah. Okay. Ready? Yeah, and now our favorite part, we get to have lunch together. Yes. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Man I'm Worrying. Oh my God. He's resting. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast of the Millennial Morning Show, where we deliver the fastest high stories so you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, and give us a video thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere a podcast can be found. So it's Spotify, Instagram, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you can listen to podcasts, find us on social media, five-star review, about how beautiful, about how stunning, and how wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye.
