--:-- Narrator: Support for this podcast and the following message come from Dignity Memorial. For many families, remembering loved ones means honoring the details that made them unique. Dignity Memorial is dedicated to professionalism and compassion in every detail of a life celebration. Find a provider near you at DignityMemorial.com.
--:-- Bill Curtis: From NPR at WBEZ Chicago, this is *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me*, the NPR News Quiz. Warning: there's no lifeguard on duty and you're in the deep end of my voice. I'm Bill Curtis, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Great to see you all. We have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be joined by comedian and actor Tiffany Haddish. But first, we – just speaking for ourselves – are so excited that the federal government shutdown is over. So instead of being defunded because of an emergency, we can go back to being defunded on purpose. But somehow our phones still work, so call in to play our games. The number to call is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924.
--:-- Let's welcome our first listener contestant this week. Hi, you're on *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me*.
--:-- Sophia: Hi, I'm Sophia calling from Los Angeles, California.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Hey, how are things in beautiful LA?
--:-- Sophia: A little rainy, but good.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yeah. Well, that'll be good for you.
--:-- Peter Sagal: What do you do there?
--:-- Sophia: I'm an engineer.
--:-- Peter Sagal: You're an engineer. Ooh, I love engineers. What sort of things do you engineer?
--:-- Sophia: I work in an aerospace company doing a new space station.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Oh, no. Really? You mean like a totally different space station than the one we have?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Wow. I didn't know we were getting a second one.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Yeah, you know what? Trump cut a wing off of the other one. Money saving.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Well, welcome to the show. Sophia, let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, he's a comedian and fashion designer. You can see him December 13th in Chicago at the Kimball Art Center for the Birthday in Babylon extravaganza. It's the Prince of Bronzeville, Brian Babylon.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Hello.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Next, she's a feature writer for the *Washington Post*. It's Roxanne Roberts.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Hello, Sophia.
--:-- Peter Sagal: And finally, a comedian you can see New Year's Eve at the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco. And, of course, she is the host of the weekly podcast *Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone*. It's Paula Poundstone.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Hello.
--:-- Peter Sagal: So, Sophia, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain just two of them, you will win our prize: any voice from our show you might choose on your voicemail. You ready to go?
--:-- Peter Sagal: All right. Your first quote is from an email about President Trump that was in the news this week. "He is the dog that did not bark." After months of people demanding that they be released, that was one of the thousands of emails released this week from the account of whom?
--:-- Sophia: Would that be Epstein?
--:-- Peter Sagal: That would be Jeffrey Epstein, yes. [Audience applauds] In the emails released by the House, Epstein calls Trump, quote, "borderline insane," "so gross," "a dirty businessman," and, quote, "even worse in person than on TV." So, say it with me, folks: maybe Jeffrey Epstein wasn't so bad.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: No, he was bad, just honest as well. I mean, it's amazing. It's this bizarre look into this guy's world and all the people he associated with. But probably the most interesting email was the one from 2019 where Epstein wrote, "Hey, looking forward to living long enough to implicate the president. Well, gotta go. There's a bunch of guys in my cell. Bye."
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Wait, how many emails were there?
--:-- Peter Sagal: There were 20,000 pages of emails.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Wow. And over what period of time were they?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Years and years. Decades.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Oh, my. 20,000.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Yeah, you know what? A lot of it's got to be spam.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yeah, pretty much. But you know what I would love to do? I would love to take all those emails and dump them into ChatGPT and say, "Hey, man, what do you think about this?" That's when you get a nice, unfiltered...
--:-- Paula Poundstone: ChatGPT was like, "Oh, God, I can't."
--:-- Peter Sagal: Sophia, here is your next quote. "It's a Wonderful Life, The Sound of Music, and Ordinary People." That was from a list of somebody's favorite movies released before a big event with Hollywood luminaries at the Vatican this week. Whose list was it?
--:-- Peter Sagal: The Pope, yes. This week, Pope Leo released a list of his favorite movies: *Life is Beautiful*, *The Sound of Music*, *It's a Wonderful Life*, *Ordinary People*, and – this is weird – anything with Sydney Sweeney.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Is that true?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Well, actually, no. It was just the four movies.
--:-- Brian Babylon: That's a weird list, man. Really? You think?
--:-- Peter Sagal: I don't think so. I think it's a good list.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Isn't he from the South Side? He is. I think it's a list that a guy who appears to be a godly person would pick. Like a PR list. If he had put *Die Hard* in there with the rest of those movies, I'd be okay. *Life is Beautiful*, *The Sound of Music*, *Die Hard*, *Ordinary People*.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Or like *Fast and the Furious 7*. Just a little human touch.
--:-- Brian Babylon: No, no, no. That's trash. A legit...
--:-- Paula Poundstone: I am not remotely upset nor baffled by the Pope's list of movies. These are good movies.
--:-- Peter Sagal: What was *Ordinary People* about?
--:-- Paula Poundstone: It's a family drama set here in Chicago. North Shore. Maybe that's why he was such a fan of it. But these are good movies. And a Pope – he started out just as a priest, right?
--:-- Peter Sagal: I believe, yes. That is a requirement to be pope.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Okay. It's not like if you want to be a pope, if that's your ambition, you pretty much have to start as a priest. I thought maybe it was like the Supreme Court where you could just have come in.
--:-- Peter Sagal: There's no actual law that says the pope has to be a priest. It could be a plumber.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Right, exactly. You know, I used to manage an International House of Pancakes. Just naturally good with people. Also a service organization.
--:-- Peter Sagal: All right. Sophia, here is your last quote. "As a Lake Ontario girly who's worked on ships, this day is high key my jam." That was a woman on TikTok, one of many young people commemorating the 50th anniversary this week of the wreck of what?
--:-- Sophia: The Edmund Fitzgerald.
--:-- Peter Sagal: The Edmund Fitzgerald, yes. The hottest thing on TikTok right now is a 1975 shipwreck. Young people gathered in clubs and bars on Monday to commemorate the anniversary of the tragedy on Lake Superior. As always, it seems the two things that cross our society across generations are: what color is this dress, and big ship go down. So if you don't know and you want to find out the specifics of what happened to the *Edmund Fitzgerald*, you can go on TikTok or ask literally any dad.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: It sank. It did.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Was it like a six and a seven clash together?
--:-- Peter Sagal: No. Here's the thing, though, and I love this, that I found out by virtue of these young people on TikTok and their commemorations. The company that built the ship, way back when, named it after their own president, Edmund Fitzgerald, even though he begged them not to. And I just feel incredibly sorry for that guy because he walked around for the rest of his life just muttering, "I said call it the *Centennial*, but no."
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Yeah, that's how the guy who made the new Cracker Barrel logo feels.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Two, I believe, equivalent disasters in American history, right?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yeah. Oh, 50 years from now, they'll be commemorating that on TikTok, what's left of it. Ask any TikTok historian, there are parallels.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Yes, it's true.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Bill, how did Sophia do in our quiz?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Smart engineer there in Los Angeles. She got them all right.
--:-- Peter Sagal: All right. Wow. Sophia, thank you so much for playing. Take care.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Panel, right now it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Paula, residents who live in London near the Olympic Velodrome, built for the 2012 Summer Games, have noticed this odd phenomenon.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Yeah.
--:-- Peter Sagal: The velodrome, on certain occasions, emits loud sounds that sound very much like what?
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Skaters stuck inside.
--:-- Peter Sagal: No. I should also say that the velodrome was for bicycle racing.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Well, that's why skaters would get stuck. That's true. You're right. No ice. They'd just go right in there. Poor things. You know what? Don't just report on it. Get over there with a chainsaw and get the skaters out.
--:-- Peter Sagal: No. That's not the answer.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: It is.
--:-- Peter Sagal: No. Want to give me a hint?
--:-- Paula Poundstone: I guess he who created this audio phenomenon through architectural quirks dealt it?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Oh my gosh! There are like farting sounds coming from there?
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Yes, farting noises emitting from the building.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yeah, that's the bicyclist. People often complain that these incredibly expensive facilities built for one Olympics are useless once it's over. Well, no more. This one farts. So the building has this double curved roof that they call the Pringle because that's what it looks like. And people who live near it notice that during fireworks displays, the loud bangs get reflected off the curves in a funny way that sound a lot like a fart. So we have the audio. The sound you hear is fireworks, and then the sound reflected off the velodrome roof.
--:-- [Sound effect: a loud, comedic farting noise]
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Wow. Wow. Right. Well, you know what? That's accurate.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yeah, I know.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: That could be a lot of noises. That could be frogs. That could be some type of duck mating. When I hear noises like that, I put the dog out.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Coming up, our panelists introduce you to a new friend in our Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me* from NPR.
--:-- [Musical interlude]
--:-- Peter Sagal: Hey, it's Peter. Now, if you are anything like our typical fan, you must be an enthusiastic evangelist for our show. You tell everybody about it. You grab strangers on the street. You lean into cars with open windows and say, "Hey, have you ever heard about..." as they drive away. There's a much simpler and less dangerous way to spread the news about our show if you're a fan. Just go to the podcast site that you get this from and rate us and review us. People really dig that. So if you like *Wait, Wait*, remember to rate us and review us. But, you know, positively.
--:-- [Musical interlude]
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--:-- Bill Curtis: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me*, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Roxanne Roberts, and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Thank you, everybody. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me* Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me*.
--:-- Noah: Hi, this is Noah calling from Washington, D.C.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Hey, Noah, how are you?
--:-- Noah: I'm doing well. I'm very excited to be here.
--:-- Peter Sagal: I'm very excited to have you. What do you do there in Washington?
--:-- Noah: Well, Peter, I regret almost every day moving from my beloved hometown of Chicago.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Thank you. Well, thank you for saying that.
--:-- Noah: So as you sit around in Washington and just yearn for home...
--:-- Peter Sagal: That is very true. I miss my Chicago dogs.
--:-- Noah: Okay, well, I'm always up for a Chicago dog. Let's put the show on hold. We'll go get one together.
--:-- Peter Sagal: It sounds like a blast.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Noah, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Noah's topic?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Her name is Tallulah. This week, we read about a remarkable woman named Tallulah, and her story was so compelling, we just had to share it with all of you. Our panelists are going to tell you about Tallulah, who was in the news. Pick the one who's telling the truth, and you'll win our prize: the *Wait, Wait*er of your choice on your voicemail. Ready to play?
--:-- Noah: I'm so excited.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Well, we are excited to have you try. Here we go. Let's hear first from Roxanne Roberts.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: You can get financial coverage from the *Wall Street Journal*, or you can get it from OnlyFans breakout star Tallulah Bank. Bank, who named herself after the spicy Hollywood star Tallulah Bankhead, is a 29-year-old former Goldman Sachs analyst who gives daily stock market news and advice to more than a million Wall Street bros and other subscribers. She's naked, but covered from neck to ankle in cash. All of this is perfectly legal, or is it? The SEC has reportedly opened an investigation into Bank, says the *New York Post*, alleging that in addition to actual tips, Bank gets privileged corporate information DM'd to her. Her attorney has denied all the charges, telling the *Post* that his client is simply an astute observer of the stock market. Quote, "The only thing Miss Bank is guilty of is rising interest rates among her thousands of fans."
--:-- Peter Sagal: Tallulah Bank, a very successful influencer on OnlyFans, who gives out financial advice dressed only in currency. Your next Tallulah tidbit comes from Brian Babylon.
--:-- Brian Babylon: In paranormal news, 58-year-old Tallulah Adelia Bialo has stepped forward claiming that she and former President Barack Obama once ran an undercover youth ghost elimination strike force in high school. According to Bialo, the duo patrolled abandoned gymnasiums, foggy beaches, and at least one suspiciously cold broom closet at school. Their makeshift team was called the Aborition Opposition. They detailed laws of supernatural encounters, including the time they were in the band room and saw a phantom flute playing the song "Orinoco Flow" by Enya. And this was 10 years before the song was even released. Crazy. "Look, I'm not saying Tallulah and I saved Honolulu from ghostly chaos," Obama said. "I'm just saying the broom closet wasn't cold for no reason." Bialo, meanwhile, is writing her memoir tentatively called *Specters, Senators, and G-G-G-G-Ghosts: My Life Haunting Ghosts with Barack*.
--:-- Peter Sagal: A Tallulah who, it turns out, used to ghost bust with none other than Barack Obama in high school. And your last story of this mysterious mess comes from Paula Poundstone.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: After eye surgery to remove scar tissue due to retinopathy caused by type 1 diabetes, Mark Bryan was beset by visual hallucinations of a large set of Baywatch-style breasts. He named the apparition Tallulah, but the breasts were the only part of her he saw in the hallucinations. He knows nothing about her brains or personality. Although he may have waited some time before reporting the symptoms, Mark Bryan was later informed by his surgeon that the hallucinations were caused by a rare eye condition called Charles Bonnet syndrome. The surgeons placed a bubble of air in Mark's eye to help it heal, and that's what caused Tallulah's breasts to move as if she was running on the beach. As news spreads of this side effect of eye surgery to remove scar tissue due to retinopathy caused by type 1 diabetes, doctors may well be concerned about an unstoppable, unhealthy increase in sugar intake among the male population. Cinnabon may well hire Mark Bryan as their spokesperson, if he is not already the new face of Little Debbie.
--:-- Peter Sagal: All right. One of these is the Tallulah we found in the week's news. Was it from Roxanne: a financial influencer on OnlyFans named Tallulah Bank? From Brian Babylon: a woman named Tallulah who claims accurately that she used to ghost hunt with Barack Obama in high school? Or from Paula Poundstone: eye surgery leads to a man hallucinating a Baywatch babe he named Tallulah? Okay, which of these is the real story of Tallulah in the week's news?
--:-- Noah: I want to give it to Paula's Baywatch breasts, but I do think it's the OnlyFans model.
--:-- Peter Sagal: So you think it's Roxanne's OnlyFans model, Tallulah Bank. Okay, well, to bring you the real story, here's somebody who had some expertise on it.
--:-- Siobhan Midgley (recorded): The hallucinations I've heard are usually landscapes, colors, animals. I have not heard of giant breasts.
--:-- Peter Sagal: That was Siobhan Midgley, a vision rehabilitation teacher in the Chicagoland area, an expert on Charles Bonnet syndrome, talking about the man who really did see a woman he called Tallulah, or certain parts of her, wherever he looked for weeks at a time. I'm so sorry, Noah. You should have gone with your instinct, and you should never, ever trust Roxanne.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Accurate.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Oh, so many men. She has led to their doom with her wiles. But you won a point, however, for her, which is all she lives for. So thank you so much for calling and playing, and come back home soon.
--:-- Noah: Yeah, thank you so much. Take care.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Bye-bye.
--:-- [Sound effect: Bounce, bounce, bounce. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Bounce, bounce, bounce.]
--:-- Peter Sagal: And now the game we call Not My Job. Tiffany Haddish was a working comedian and actor for 20 years when she had her huge breakout role as Dina in the movie *Girls Trip* in 2017. Since then, she has starred in many more movies, TV shows, and stand-up specials. She has written two *New York Times* bestsellers, won an Emmy and a Grammy, and has even been bat mitzvahed. Her new show, *Tiffany Haddish Goes Off*, premiered on Peacock this week. Tiffany Haddish, welcome to *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me*.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Thank you. Hey.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Hey. I have a thing deep in my heart, because I've known so many, for actors who paid their dues. And you did, right? You were out there for many, many years, starting as a teenager doing comedy. Can you tell us about some of the weird jobs you took to support yourself during the lean years?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Yes. So I did a lot of... I was a sous chef.
--:-- Peter Sagal: A sous chef.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Yes, sous chef. Then I was a professional babysitter. Also, I was an energy producer at Bar and Bat Mitzvahs for like 11 years. I was an activities coordinator at a youth center. I did sound work. I did camera assistant, gaffer, set deck. I've done all the jobs.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Wait, back up, back up. I have to ask you. I think you and I have the same question. An energy producer at bar and bat mitzvahs?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Yeah, I did bar, bat mitzvahs, executive parties, Christmas parties, Hanukkah parties, funerals. You name it. My job produced amazing energy.
--:-- Peter Sagal: So wait a minute. So you were kind of a hype woman? You got the crowd hyped up?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: I wouldn't call that a hype woman. What I call it is an energy producer.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: I produce amazing energy. I got you.
--:-- Peter Sagal: I got you. So I'm just flashing back. You call it a hype woman? That sounds like flavor flake to me.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: No. No. That's not it.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Okay. You're producing amazing energy. All right. Let me try to...
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: This is my grandma. Grandpa, get up out the chair. The energy is so good. They got to start dancing. All right. You want to see it?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: So I'm thinking back many, many years to my own bar mitzvah. This was a very long time ago. And I did not have an energy producer of any kind. And it was a boring party, wasn't it?
--:-- Peter Sagal: It was pretty dull. I'll be honest with you. It was pretty dull.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: So it's too late now. It's never too late. We can throw you a 67th birthday party. We can do that.
--:-- Peter Sagal: And thank you for that estimate of my age. It crippled me. But first of all, if you had been at my bar mitzvah many years ago, how – could you briefly demonstrate how you would have energized the party so it was not the drab synagogue assembly room experience that it was?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: First, I would go to you, and I would go, "Young Peter, please take my beautiful brown hand and follow me, darling." And I would lead you out to the dance floor, and I would stand you right next to me, and I would say, "Follow my lead. Do whatever I do, okay? And smile the whole time. No matter how it feels, just smile the whole time." And I would start with a side-to-side step clap, right? And you side-to-side step clap with me. Peter, do it. That's right, Peter! That's what I'm talking about! Here we go! Oh, fuck it up! Hey! Hey! Hey! Fuck it up! Hey! And then they say, you know, the whole room is fucking it up.
--:-- Peter Sagal: I am retroactively very excited and extraordinarily embarrassed.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Because that's, yeah, that – whoa.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: That's the Jewish way. It is.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Well, yes. Yes.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Peter, I'm going to be real with you. I've seen Tiffany. She could make a dreidel spin without spinning it. She's got that energy.
--:-- Peter Sagal: You recently had your own bat mitzvah, right? You turned 40.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Yeah. It was a few years ago.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Who did you hire? Because you have convinced me of the usefulness of this. Did you hire your own energy producer for your bat mitzvah, or did you handle that yourself?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: I hired the same company that I used to work for. I hired them, and we brought in younger, more vibrant energy producers. And then Billy Crystal did my aliyah. No kidding. Susan Silverman's sister. She officiated my whole bat mitzvah. It was the most beautiful. It was beautiful.
--:-- Peter Sagal: I want to ask you, one of the things I also learned is that during your years of struggle, you still had ambitions. You knew, and you said sometimes in public, that you were going to make it. You were going to be big. Now that you have – you became incredibly famous with *Girls Trip* and many things since then – what is the first thing you did when you started making real money?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: I bought a microscope.
--:-- Peter Sagal: A microscope?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Yeah. I bought a microscope that took pictures of bacterias, and I could upload those bacterias to Google and I could find out exactly what it is. To me, it was me developing my relationship with God and just seeing all the things he created. And did you know that some bacterias look just like people?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Really? I mean, I thought they were rod-shaped, and some of them were squiggly. But you're saying that you look through that...
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Yeah, and some of them is ugly as – just ugly. And I'm like, "Oh, God, I see what you was doing." This guy's a bacteria like this, right, like this candida. And I know that. And I'm just curious about all the stuff God does. That's why I like swimming with sharks and stuff, because you see all the plant life and animal life down there. You're just like, "Look how creative he is. He's so creative."
--:-- Peter Sagal: That could be your last thought just before one of those sharks eats you.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: I know. I know, right? You know, here's the thing: sharks don't really like people like that. That's why they bite them and spit them out, because we're too acidic. So as long as I keep drinking soda, girl, I'm good.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Tiffany Haddish, it is a joy to talk to you, but we have invited you here to play a game. And this time we are calling it *Girls Trip* Meet *Girl Strip*. You start in *Girls Trip*. So we're going to ask you about comic strips about girls. *Girl Strips*. Get it?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, I thought it was going to be something else. I'm like, "I know, I know. If you're the boy script, I don't want the boy script club." I bet you do. But no, I wanted to clarify that's what we're doing. We're a weekend show for families.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Okay, cool, cool, cool. Okay, family show. Let's go. Here we go. So answer two to three questions, right? You'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Tiffany Haddish playing for?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Liz Patterson of Atlanta, Georgia.
--:-- Peter Sagal: All right. Here's your first question. The most famous girl strip is, of course, *Cathy*, that long-running strip about a single woman with issues. *Cathy* ended its run in 2010, but it left its mark on the comic strip industry. How? A: The strip in which she married her boyfriend Irving was so bad, the phrase "marrying Irving" now means ruining your comic strip forever. B: Whenever a comic strip writer can't think of something for a character to say, they just say "Ack" like Cathy did. Or C: The highest praise one comic artist can say to another is "I thought I was reading *Cathy*."
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Two. You're going to go for B.
--:-- Peter Sagal: No, I'm afraid it was "Marrying Irving." People believe that completely ruined it. That's like the comic strip equivalent of jumping the shark. Here's your next question. The Barbie doll was in part originally inspired by a German newspaper comic strip called *Lily*. Who was Lily, the character? Was she A: the beautiful wife of an ugly bricklayer named Kenneth; B: a quote "high-end call girl"; or C: a beauty pageant winner who became a surgeon, an astronaut, and an Olympic gymnast?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: I'll go with B.
--:-- Peter Sagal: You're going to go with B?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Yeah, because the way her makeup was and stuff, and she always had her boobs out.
--:-- Peter Sagal: That's right. You have figured it out. That's what Lily was. Lily was a risque comic for adults in the 50s in Germany. The company started making dolls of Lily, and the wife of one of the founders of Mattel was in Germany, saw one, and said, "Hey, I can work with that." All right, here's your last question. The comic strip *Little Orphan Annie* ended its run in 2010. What was the adorable orphan's fate in the very last *Little Orphan Annie* comic strip? Was it A: she was being held captive by an Eastern European war criminal; B: she discovered her real parents were the Romanovs, making her heir to the Russian throne; or C: she instantly aged the 90 years that had passed since the first strip and crumbled into dust.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Like Thanos?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Very much like Thanos, yes. What was A again?
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: A again was that she was being held captive by an Eastern European war criminal.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Ben, I'm going to go with she got kidnapped and that's how they came with the movie *Taken*.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: That's exactly right. Wow. In fact, I believe in the final frame of the final strip, Daddy Warbucks is saying into a phone, "I have certain skills."
--:-- Peter Sagal: Bill, how did Tiffany Haddish do in our quiz?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Are you kidding? She rewrote the quiz. She's a winner in everything.
--:-- Peter Sagal: You have brought the energy in this little right. Peter, I told you. You told me? You did not exaggerate. She's still going. She's still going. Brian was your advance man, Tiffany. Tiffany Haddish is an Emmy and Grammy winner. You can see her in her new show, *Tiffany Haddish Goes Off*. It is streaming on Peacock now. If it is a quarter as fun as talking to her in real life, it will be amazing. Tiffany Haddish, thank you so much for being with us. You're the best.
--:-- Tiffany Haddish: Thank you.
--:-- Peter Sagal: In just a minute, Bill gives you his tip for staying healthy this flu season in our Listener Limerick Challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me* from NPR.
--:-- [Musical interlude]
--:-- Narrator: This message comes from NPR sponsor Patagonia. As environmental progress stalls, Patagonia believes it's on businesses to step up. The company knows it isn't perfect, but it's proving businesses can make a profit without bankrupting the planet. Out now is Patagonia's 2025 Work in Progress Report, a behind-the-scenes look into its impact initiatives, from quitting forever chemicals and decarbonizing its supply chain to embracing fair trade. Explore more at patagonia.com/impact.
--:-- Narrator: This message comes from NPR sponsor Comcast. Did you know that more than 90% of internet traffic on your cell phone travels over Wi-Fi, not cellular? Comcast is redefining broadband leadership with the nation's largest and most intelligent Wi-Fi network, delivering advancements like their most powerful gateway yet, the XB10, enabling industry-leading multi-gig symmetrical speeds and connecting up to 300 devices simultaneously. Learn more at comcastcorporation.com/Wi-Fi.
--:-- Bill Curtis: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is *Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me*, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Brian Babylon, Paula Poundstone, and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, we enjoy the bounty of our annual harvest of limericks. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, we have some more questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, athletic gear can be very expensive. A pair of Lululemon pants, for example, can cost as much as $150. But one solution to get them cheaper is to buy them half...
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Okay. I'm going to say used.
--:-- Peter Sagal: You're right. Used workout gear. It's becoming more and more popular online as people resell their high-end Lululemon sports bras and running shorts, and this time not solely to perverts.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: That sounds like some OnlyFans actually.
--:-- Peter Sagal: But a lot of times with eating pants – or I like to call them yoga pants, or eating pants.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Eating pants? Oh, you mean eating? Like, "Oh, let me get my eating pants on because I got a lot of room in them."
--:-- Peter Sagal: But it's like, I've noticed a lot of times those in the thighs, they're real rubbed in. They're all napped up. They get pilly. They get real pilly.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Okay, Peter is a runner. His thighs don't even know each other.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Wow. Oh, would that it were so.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: I would only trust this if you got with the clothes a detailed description of what the person who had owned them before did with them, right?
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Oh, they just your lounge around pants, fine. Oh, you went to hot yoga in them once, burned them.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Y'all are talking as if you're not aware that you can wash clothes.
--:-- Brian Babylon: But Paula, what I'm talking about ain't no washing gonna help. When your thighs rub together, you can't wash that away. No.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Got a question for you, Paula, right here. Paula, there's a hot new trend in wedding receptions in addition to a DJ, an open bar, you know, the cake. Many receptions now feature somebody walking around, somebody they've hired for this purpose, doing what?
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Energy producing. I wish.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Collapsing. No.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: And they have to be revived. That's not right. But what kind of energy do you think that would bring to a wedding?
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Oval office.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Make a good point. Will you give me a hint?
--:-- Paula Poundstone: I'll try to get it.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Wow. It's like, these people must have paid big bucks... they got Kenny G.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Like an impressionist? Like a celebrity person?
--:-- Peter Sagal: No, like Kenny G.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: What does Kenny G do? He plays the saxophone.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yes, playing the saxophone.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Wait, just the sax?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right, just the saxophone. If you wish your big day sounded like the loudest parts of a Bruce Springsteen song, we have the wedding service for you. More and more weddings are featuring a, quote, loose saxophonist at the reception. And by loose, we just mean, you know, wandering around without a band or anything.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: But yes, he will also be sleeping with your most desperate bridesmaid.
--:-- Brian Babylon: A loose saxophonist.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: A loose saxophonist. That's such a great, I love that phrase.
--:-- Brian Babylon: As in saxophonist on the loose.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Yeah, loose saxophonist.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Why are these couples like asking for a saxophonist? Brides are like, I always pictured that on my wedding day, there'd be somebody there both balding, but with a ponytail. And this seemed like the simplest way to do it.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: I want that slightly mournful Edmund Fitzgerald energy.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Well, I mean, you're limited by the fact that they're loose. I mean, you're not going to have a loose kettle drum player. That's true.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: But I think saxophones are very sexy.
--:-- Peter Sagal: You do?
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Oh, yeah. The beginning of Careless Whisper, is that what they're doing?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Maybe. I think it's a lot. I mean, that's the only thing. I'm trying to think of, like, The Heat Is On. But when it, when it, when it, when it.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: I'm trying to think of all the songs that demand sax energy, and I can't match it up with a wedding reception.
--:-- Brian Babylon: When you're trying to get turnt up, sax ain't it.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Cocaine ends.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yeah. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-wait-wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.
--:-- You can see us most weeks right here at the Studio Baker Theater in downtown Chicago, where Catch Us on the Road will be in Phoenix, Arizona on December 4th, where Tig Notaro will be joining us again on our panel, and we all plan on doing our best show ever just for you. Tickets and info are at nprpresents.org. And if you like our show but can't stand it for more than a few seconds at a time, check us out at TikTok at WaitWaitNPR.
--:-- Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
--:-- Benjamin: Hi, everyone. My name is Benjamin. I'm calling in from Columbia, South Carolina.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Well, Columbia's a great place. What do you do there?
--:-- Benjamin: I'm a musician. I'm not a saxophone player.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Yeah, but are you loose?
--:-- Peter Sagal: It's a shame because there's some money-making opportunities out there. What do you play?
--:-- Benjamin: Yeah, I missed my calling. I'm a trumpet player and a singer, and once I figure out how to do both of those things at the same time, you will see me on YouTube.
--:-- Peter Sagal: I was about to say that those are two sort of mutually exclusive musical specialties. Louis Armstrong did that, right?
--:-- Benjamin: Yeah, but he didn't do it at the same time.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yes, I did. Well, Benjamin, welcome to the show. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to go?
--:-- Benjamin: Let's do it.
--:-- Bill Curtis: All right, here is your first limerick. Those birds with long wings and a wee skull can steal food and squawk and still be dull, but sound like Bill Curtis and they will not hurt us. A deep voice will scare off a...
--:-- Bill Curtis: Seagull, yeah.
--:-- Peter Sagal: A recent study has discovered that talking to seagulls in a deep voice will stop them from stealing your food. But be careful. Many of us have found out the hard way that this is also how you turn them on.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Get out of my chips!
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Pretty much.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Pretty much. And Paula, before you ask, this study, this is how they did it. They closed Tupperware container of French fries and they put it on the ground. And when seagulls approached, a recording either played a neutral bird song, that's the control, right? Or a recording of a loud male voice playing at different volumes. Speaking made them walk away. Shouting made them fly away.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Conversely, speaking to them after inhaling helium made them eat your face.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Because seagulls are savage. There's a video floating around where there's a seagull that flew down and took a lady's full steak.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Wow.
--:-- Brian Babylon: A steak. A steak. That's not a mouse. That's a full steak.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: So, hey, get away from my steak, seagull.
--:-- Brian Babylon: I don't know if that would have worked because that seagull was dedicated. That was, yeah.
--:-- Bill Curtis: Here is your next limerick. To dreamland, I'd like to embark. So this shower is hitting the mark. I'm embracing the nights by killing the lights. I'm washing myself in the...
--:-- Bill Curtis: Yes, in the dark.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Dark showering. Literally, showering in the dark. Apparently can calm your brain and allow for a better transition to sleep.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: And if you slip on something in the shower that's dark and crack your head, a much faster transition to sleep.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Sounds like a safety hazard.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Definitely a safety hazard.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: No, dark showering is very relaxing and very pleasant until you hear a voice from the darkness say, hey, can you pass the shampoo?
--:-- Brian Babylon: Like I can see the Geico Gecko saying, that's not a good idea.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Yeah.
--:-- Brian Babylon: He's in there too?
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Yeah, but for insurance purposes, it's like your premium's going to go up.
--:-- Brian Babylon: But he was in there looking though. That was the weird part. Looking up, man. I don't like it. I don't like it.
--:-- Bill Curtis: All right. Benjamin, here is your last limerick. Real doctors, oh heck, what do they know? I will not take meds on their say-so. Raw and sliced for a rash, for a cold cooked and mashed. I fill up my socks with...
--:-- Benjamin: I'm going to need that one again. The only thing that's coming to my brain is Drano.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Don't put Drano in your socks. That's very important. Don't do that.
--:-- Bill Curtis: Here we go. Real doctors, oh heck, what do they know? I will not take meds on their say-so, raw and sliced for a rash, for a cold, cooked and mashed. I fill up my socks with...
--:-- Benjamin: Aha, potatoes.
--:-- Bill Curtis: Potato, yes. Good going.
--:-- Peter Sagal: If you get your medical advice from TikTok, you've heard that the best way to cure a cold is to put a slice of raw potato on your sock before bed. I thought this was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard, but then someone explained you're supposed to then put the socks on your feet. The theory is that pressing a cut potato against the skin draws out toxins from the body. But according to a leading pediatrician interviewed by the Washington Post, that does not work. She said, quote, that would mean the virus would need to be drawn out of the blood through all the tissue and skin and into the potato. At which point the reporter muttered, I'm sorry to waste your time and left.
--:-- Bill, how did Benjamin do in our quiz?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Oh, boy, did he do a good job. Perfect score.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Well done, Benjamin. Congratulations. And good luck on finding that moment when you can sing and play the trumpet at the same time. It'll happen, I'm confident.
--:-- Benjamin: I appreciate it. You guys have a good one.
--:-- Peter Sagal: You too, take care. Thank you. Bye-bye.
--:-- [Sponsor messages play]
--:-- Peter Sagal: Now on to our final game, lightning fill-in-the-blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Rack them up. Roxanne and Paula each have three. Brian has two.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Okay. So let us say then that, Brian, you're going to go first. Brian, the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, the last blank was minted in Philadelphia.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Penny.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. On Tuesday, a federal judge ordered the release of over 600 people arrested during blank raids in Chicago.
--:-- Brian Babylon: ICE.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. Right. This week, experts warned against President Trump's suggestion of boosting home sales by offering a 50-year blank.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Mortgage.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. Despite the end of the government shutdown, experts are still warning of potential Thanksgiving blank delays.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Turkey?
--:-- Peter Sagal: Flight delays. On Thursday, unionized baristas across the country began a strike against blank.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Starbucks.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. On Tuesday, solar storms meant that the blanks were visible much further south than usual.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Northern Lights.
--:-- Peter Sagal: In what is definitely not a bad omen, a blank was spotted during an oceanfront wedding in San Diego.
--:-- Brian Babylon: Pack of sharks.
--:-- Peter Sagal: No, a sinking ship. Wedding photographers caught the sinking ship out in the water while the bride and groom were reciting their vows. It feels like a bad sign, but it's going to be amazing when the couple hit their 50th wedding anniversary and a bunch of kids on TikTok discover that sinking ship for the first time. Bill, how did Brian do in our quiz?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Very well. He got five right. Ten more points. Total of 12 and the lead.
--:-- Peter Sagal: All right. Okay. Paula, I'm going to select you to go next. Please fill in the blank. On Wednesday, civil rights leader Blank was hospitalized in Chicago.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Jesse Jackson.
--:-- Peter Sagal: That's right. Chief of Jesse Jackson. In response to a buildup of U.S. ships in the Caribbean Sea, Blank announced a massive military mobilization.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Venezuela.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. This week, a new report found that 25% of American families are living blank check to blank check.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Paycheck to paycheck.
--:-- Peter Sagal: That's right. This week, a federal judge permanently barred the White House from sending blank troops to Portland.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Military troops.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Specifically from the National Guard.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: National Guard, that's right.
--:-- Peter Sagal: This week, three men in New Jersey were arrested for planning a huge heist of blank.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: A huge, the Louvre guys. They were going to rob from the Louvre guys.
--:-- Peter Sagal: A huge heist of stuffed animals from a local amusement park. On Friday, the jackpot for the blank neared $1 billion.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: For the lottery.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. This week, police in Indiana had a major breakthrough in the case of a man covered in peanut butter running around a college campus because they discovered blank.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: A woman running around in jelly.
--:-- Peter Sagal: No. That was good. That's actually like, that would be like the plot of such a great romantic comedy. They just keep missing each other, right? They were made for each other. No, what they discovered was that the man is actually covered in sunflower butter. For weeks, people at Prudder University have been looking for who they called Peanut Butter Man after blurry videos showed a man covered in peanut butter wandering around campus like a sticky Bigfoot. But good news, police revealed he was a considerate sticky Bigfoot and was actually covered in hypoallergenic sunflower butter. He also identified the suspect, which was actually pretty easy. He was the one that the canine units could not stop licking. Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Oh, we're running so close. She got five right, ten more points. Total of 13. Puts her one point in the lead.
--:-- Peter Sagal: All right, so how many then does Roxanne need to win?
--:-- Bill Curtis: Five to tie, six to win.
--:-- Peter Sagal: All right, Roxanne, here we go. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Monday, President Trump floated the idea of paying Americans $2,000 from the money collected for blanks.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Terrorists.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. On Tuesday, Jack Schlossberg, the grandson of blank, announced he was running for Congress.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: John F. Kennedy.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. This week, the National Transportation Safety Board arrived in Louisville to determine the cause of a UPS blank crash.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: The plane crash.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. According to a new study, listening to music most days could help guard against blank later in life.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Dementia.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. This week, police in Canada said that the men who stole the bus and took it on a joyride there blanked.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: He made the scheduled stops.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Yes, he did a great job driving, didn't vent the bus, picked up all the passengers, he was doing a good job. On Monday, soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo said the 2026 blank will be his last.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: World Cup.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. On Thursday, Bad Bunny performed at the Latin blank awards.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Grammy.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Right. Police in Ireland searching for a possibly escaped lion instead found blank.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: They found a dog with a lion haircut.
--:-- Peter Sagal: You're exactly right. Wow. They had reports of a lion-like animal roaming the woods, so the Irish police searched for it, and they found instead a very friendly dog named Mouse who had just had his fur shaved to resemble a lion's mane. We are not sure who gave it that haircut and why, but the phrase, an Irish lion was actually a dog named Mouse, sounds like a mnemonic device for remembering a group of regional lakes. Bill, did Roxanne do as well as I thought she did?
--:-- Bill Curtis: She's off the scale. Eight right. 16 more points. 19 wins. She came, she saw, she did what she usually does.
--:-- Peter Sagal: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict what will be the Pope's favorite movie of 2026. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes R. Limerick's. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studiabaker Theatre. B.J. Liederman, composer, our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian in Your Long Shadow King. Special thanks to Mohamed El-Sheikh and Monica Hickey. This week, Tallulah will be playing the role of Peter Gwynn. Our visual host is Emma Choi. Technical director is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilock. And the executive producer, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, is Mike Cableknit. Danforth, now panel. What would be the Pope's favorite movie next year?
--:-- Brian Babylon: Are You There, God? It's me, Leo.
--:-- Peter Sagal: I can see why he'd like that one.
--:-- Roxanne Roberts: Dirty Dancing Three: Vatican Knights.
--:-- Paula Poundstone: Southside Popey: The story of the Pope of the people who fixes his own car.
--:-- Peter Sagal: Well if any of that happens panel, we'll ask you about it on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Thank you Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Brian Babylon, I'm Kyle Labancho and Roxanne Roberts. Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Baker Theater in beautiful downtown Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you for listening, wherever you may be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR.
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