--:-- Mel Robbins: Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. So the other day I was talking with our oldest daughter, Sawyer, who is also the co-author of *The Let Them Theory*, and she said something to me that was just so cool. She turned to me casually and was like, "You know, Mom, you want to know the coolest part about *The Let Them Theory* being everywhere and so many people talking about it, making content about it and discussing the book? It's literally the biggest book club in the world right now that everybody belongs to, because everybody's talking about it and saying, 'Let them' and 'Let me.'"
--:-- Mel Robbins: And she's right. In fact, 3 million of you have already read, listened to, recommended, gifted, reviewed, discussed, or checked out of your library *The Let Them Theory*. And what's so exciting is that you're not only reading it and listening to it, but you're reading it with people you love. You're sharing it. You're talking about it. You're learning from it. You're making videos about it. You're making jewelry about it. You're making t-shirts about it. You're making it your own.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And that got me thinking: I don't want this book club that we're all in discussing this theory to end. And I don't think you do either, because so many of you have written in saying, "I just love this so much. Mel, I'm curious, what are some of your favorite books? What would you recommend that I read after I read *The Let Them Theory*? What are the books that have changed your life, Mel?"
--:-- Mel Robbins: Well, today I'm answering that question. I have thought long and hard about this because I'm a voracious reader. I've been a bookworm since I was a little girl. But today I have got the four books that have changed my life, and they're going to change yours. These are books that gave me a new perspective. They found me at times in my life where I needed the exact message and lessons. These are books in very different categories by very different authors that have helped me connect with people I love, navigate challenges, and find peace when I've been really scared and stuck in my life. These are the books that have given me the courage to take chances and to trust that there is something bigger in my life that is meant for me.
--:-- Mel Robbins: So these are the four books that I am going to recommend to you today, and I'm going to explain why and the backstory. And what was so exciting about getting ready to talk to you about this is that I realized as I put this together, holy cow, these four books also reinforce exactly why I wrote *The Let Them Theory* in the first place. So let's do this.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Before we get into today's episode, I want to let you know that I've got something really special for you at the very end on how you can still reach the goals that you set for yourself at the beginning of this year. And it's all thanks to our friends at Walmart Plus, the membership that makes life easier by saving you time and money with free delivery and so much more. I will see you after the bloopers, and you're going to love this bonus segment.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I am so unbelievably excited to talk to you today. I can't wait to share these four book recommendations with you. You're going to be blown away. It's always such an honor to spend time with you, to be together.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I also want to say, if you're a new listener, I wanted to personally take a moment and welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I am thrilled that you're here. And because you hit play on this particular episode, I already know something about you. I know that you're the kind of person who not only cares about your time, but you spend your time doing things that help you grow and learn and feel inspired. That like me, you're a reader, you love books, and you're listening to this episode because you really are interested in getting some good recommendations for some new books that you can read.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And I also want to point something else out. If someone sent you this episode and recommended that you take a listen, you know what that tells me? It tells me that they care about you, that they want to feel closer to you. And I think it's a super cool thing that somebody is taking the time to share this with you. And you want to know a great way to feel closer to somebody else? Reading a book together, which brings me to today's topic.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Today you and I are going to talk about one of the most asked questions that I've been getting lately, which is: Mel, what are your favorite books? What are the books that inspire you? What are the books that you recommend to other people? What are the books that you give to other people as a gift?
--:-- Mel Robbins: Today, I have four different books that I'm going to recommend to you, and they're not just any book. First of all, they're not even in the same genre, so they're all different. Second, I am recommending them to you for very different reasons. And some of these books, it's not just that they're a great read. It's that there's a really cool backstory about the author and how the book came to be. In other cases, the books themselves have come into my life at a pivotal moment and changed my life or the way that I think. And I'm going to even recommend a book to you that has brought me so close to my daughters. It's the kind of book that I never would have picked up without them making the recommendation: "Mom, you got to read this."
--:-- Mel Robbins: So four books today. And before we jump into my four books, I want to tell you a little story about me that you might not know. Books have been a huge part of my life forever. I was in this program in my public elementary school that was called Great Books. It was a book club for elementary school students, and the discussions about the books were led by slightly older middle school students. I not only loved Great Books, but I became a leader in Great Books when I was in middle school and high school. So books have been a huge part of my life.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Books are just so magical because as you're sitting there reading or listening—and let's just set the record straight, listening to a book counts, okay? I know there's a lot of debate: "Oh, well, I'm not really reading a book." That is not true. There's actually research around what part of your brain you're using when you read and when you listen. It all counts. But what I love about a great book, don't you, is that you can get lost in a different world. It opens up your perspective. It makes you think differently. It helps you do something that can be very meditative and calming. So I just love reading.
--:-- Mel Robbins: One final thing before I jump into the four books that I'm going to recommend: I have to take a minute and just say thank you. I cannot believe how much you're loving *The Let Them Theory*. I mean, I'm just so blown away by it. My daughter, who I wrote this with, Sawyer Robbins—shout out to Sawyer Robbins and I—we are so humbled. Seeing all of you reading this with your friends, with your families, in your book clubs, recommending it to friends, talking about it online, it is so cool.
--:-- Mel Robbins: People keep asking me, "What does it feel like, Mel, to have the number one book in the world?" And I'll tell you what it feels like. I just think it's so cool that everybody is excited about a book that can help you change your life. I think it's cool that in a moment in history where people are spending on average six hours a day on social media, they're excited about reading again. To me, that is the coolest thing here: that a book is what everybody's talking about. A book and a theory that helps you change your life, a theory that's bringing you closer to people and making you feel peaceful and more powerful, is what is in the zeitgeist and trending. What a wonderful thing that we're excited about reading again.
--:-- Mel Robbins: So many of you, because of your enthusiasm for *The Let Them Theory* and how much it's changing your life and your relationships, have written in and said, "Mel, what are you reading? What are your favorite books? What should I read next?" And so I thought, why don't we just do an episode about some of the books that have changed my life? These are books that have changed my life for very different reasons. They're in very different genres. They're not all personal development or mindset or relationship books at all. They're not even that serious, for crying out loud. But I think you're going to love them.
--:-- Mel Robbins: These are the books that I give as gifts. These are the books that I've read over and over again. These are books that have come into my life at moments in time where I've really needed the message that's in the book. These are also books where, in some cases, the backstory on the author is so extraordinarily inspiring that just that story alone is something you're going to be really interested to hear today.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I've thought a lot about what books have changed my life. I have come up with four books that are completely different from one another that have made a deeply personal and deeply impactful difference in my life. And I cannot wait to share these with you.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Before I do, though, I really just want to take a moment and say thank you, for real. I sat above the garage with my daughter for a year, basically in a cage fight, as we were working on *The Let Them Theory* together. This is the first time on my podcast that I've talked to you in any detail about *The Let Them Theory* and what's happened in the wake of publishing this book. This book is a phenomenon. It's on track to become one of the most successful nonfiction books of the entire year. Three million copies sold in two and a half months. That doesn't happen. I don't even know what to say. I am so excited that this concept is helping.
--:-- Mel Robbins: The reason why this is selling and so many of you are interested in it is because it works. You don't recommend a book that you don't love. You don't buy a book for other people that hasn't made a difference in your life. And that's the phenomenon of this book: that it's actually making a huge difference. To know that what my daughter and I, with the help of our team and our publisher at Hay House and Penguin Random House and our partners at Audible and everybody that worked on this, and the 94 books—did you know that there are 94 books that are cited and that were part of the research of me making a case for *The Let Them Theory* and how to use it in eight different areas of your life? I mean, that's how much I love reading. That's how much I love books. I have been a bookworm since I was a little kid. Never in my life did I imagine being an author. So to know that I'm now an author and I'm not only writing books, but the stuff that I'm working on, I can do with my daughter, it's just the coolest thing ever.
--:-- Mel Robbins: So thank you for giving me one of the most remarkable experiences of my life: to see the lessons and mistakes and the things that I write about that are deeply personal in this book make a huge difference in your life. The reason why I know that it is goes way beyond the posts on social media. I want to read some very meaningful things that you've written to us. There are two people in particular that I'm going to share today because I think the most exciting thing about this is how it's impacting your relationship with people you care about, and the number of ways that you are using this in your life.
--:-- Mel Robbins: We are receiving hundreds of emails every single week. I am blown away by the avalanche of comments of how "Let Them" and "Let Me" is changing your life. And more importantly, in my mind, yes, it gives you instant peace. It gives you instant power. But what I love even more is seeing how it's bringing you closer to people. I want to read you something that Aaron wrote in to me.
--:-- Mel Robbins: [Reading] Aaron wrote in and said, "I bought two copies of *The Let Them Theory*, one for my mother and one for me. And we both waited to read our book on vacation. And every night, once we settled in, we'd grab our book and start to read. And we kept stopping to discuss the different chapters that both of us could relate to. And we could relate to all the stories that Mel and her daughter Sawyer mentioned."
--:-- Mel Robbins: And here's the thing: if you haven't read the book, I'm the villain in the book. This book is filled with stories from my life and from my daughter's life, and in almost everyone, I'm the jerk. I'm the one that's the control freak. I'm the one that's judgy. I'm the one that's insecure. I'm the one that's jealous. And what you're going to see in this book, and what you probably are seeing—and I think one of the reasons why this is resonating so much—is as you read the book, you have these realizations where you're like, "Oh God, I'm just like Mel was. Oh my God, I do the same thing that she does." Or you have the other realization, which is, "Oh my God, I have to deal with somebody who was just like Mel. What a nightmare. Now I know how to let them. And now I know how to say, 'Let me. Let me protect my time and energy. Let me show up differently.'" So the dynamic shifts between us.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Another thing that I'm really proud of is that my daughter and I argued day and night about what stories went in. I'd literally be like, "Well, why don't we talk about this time when dad and I were..." and she'd be like, "Nobody my age cares about that." Why did we argue so much? Because we wanted absolutely every story and every book that was cited and every piece of research to be relevant to your life. Because if it's not relevant to your life, then it's just some intellectual nonsense that's a waste of our time.
--:-- Mel Robbins: We fought night and day. We did 11 and a half versions of the manuscript. We had teams of people that would sit around and read it with us and dig into the research. I discussed the concepts with experts on 19 different podcast episodes before they even made it into the book. The amount of research and refining and just trying to craft the single best book that we could for one reason: so that it would be entertaining and relevant and impactful to you. To see it embraced on such a global scale, and more importantly, to see it making a difference in your life, because as Aaron writes...
--:-- Mel Robbins: [Reading] "I love 'Let Them,' but what helped open my eyes and my mom's eyes was the 'Let Me' part of the book. 'Let me' do what I need to do for myself, and 'let me' learn how to accept and love the people in my life for who they are instead of trying to change them. Really an eye-opener and life-changing book. Our vacation lasted four days and three nights, and the book was finished by the time our trip ended."
--:-- Mel Robbins: How freaking cool is that? That's the other thing that I love about the book. It is such an easy read because it's entertaining, because you literally will have so many cringe moments as you're reading the book like, "Oh my God, Mel, seriously? I can't believe you're admitting you feel that way. And honestly, I've done the same thing." And that's the power of this: to see yourself in the pages. If you can think of any book that you love, you love it because it brings you either to a completely different world or it awakens something within you. And that's what's so cool.
--:-- Mel Robbins: With that, let's get into the four books that I want to recommend to you and the reasons why. Since *The Let Them Theory* has spread around the world, you are now asking me, "I love this book, Mel. What are you reading? What do you recommend? What do you give to people?" So let's jump into the four books that I love.
--:-- Mel Robbins: The first one that I'm going to recommend to you is *The Book of Awakening*. It is the 20th anniversary edition that I am holding in my hands. It is written by the extraordinary Mark Nepo. There are so many reasons why I want to recommend this to you. I think the first thing that I want to say is that this is the book that I give as a gift more than any other book. I think that's an important thing to say to you: when I'm thinking about a book that I want to give to somebody, or I'm going to a dinner party and I want to bring something other than a bottle of wine, I bring a copy of *The Book of Awakening*.
--:-- Mel Robbins: This book is so meaningful to me. I'm struggling to even find the words to explain the profound difference this book has made. First of all, I've been reading this since 2016. One of the things that I love about it is it's just short daily meditations that are one to two pages long. It is broken out by the day of the year. So you literally open up the book and it's like, "Oh, July 21st." Here's what I love about that, especially when you're in a moment in your life where you're super busy. Oftentimes you think, "I don't have time to read," or "I don't have time to pick up the book," or "I picked up the book and I started reading and then life got busy and I can't remember where I was."
--:-- Mel Robbins: You can pick this book up at any time in your life. You could buy it today, and based on the date on the calendar, you might be flipping all the way back to literally the last 10 pages of the book, and you're exactly where you need to be because it has meditations for October 23rd, October 24th. Here's a meditation I'm flipping forward for May 4th. How cool is that? These are timeless meditations. What I love about this book is that it is so digestible and reassuring and encouraging. Just like everything I'm doing here on the podcast, or at least I'm trying to, I'm always reminding you that the power is inside of you. I'm always reminding you of the simple things that are within your control: your attitude, the things you do or don't do, what you focus on, how you process your emotions and create space for what you're feeling, and giving yourself grace. That's what these episodes are about.
--:-- Mel Robbins: In the introduction of the book, Mark writes: "Each of us, in our own way, is a truth seeker looking for an authentic path that will let the saint in each of us show itself to the world. Along the way, if blessed, we come upon an opening that feels eternal, and suddenly there's nowhere to go. So we build a fire and stare into life, surprised at the tenderness our endurance and presence has led us to."
--:-- Mel Robbins: Why is this making me cry? I don't know why this is making me cry. I guess it's making me cry because I'm thinking about how my husband not only reads this every day, but he leads a men's retreat called Soul Degree three times a year. This is one of the books that he gifts to the men that attend the retreat. There's a part of the retreat where every night they sit around a campfire and there are things that they discuss as they stare into the fire. This book helps you slow down on a daily basis whenever you have a moment to just pick it up and read a page. It helps you stare into that fire of life, and you'll be surprised at the tenderness that your endurance and presence can lead you to.
--:-- Mel Robbins: He wrote this during an experience where he almost died from cancer in his 30s. He writes: "Almost dying from cancer in my 30s—he had a tumor in his brain and in his back—was the opening through which I stared into eternity, and the fire I built was *The Book of Awakening*. I had no idea that this fire on the edge of everything would warm so many. It's hard to believe it's been 20 years since it was first published. And all that time, I've been humbled by the many ways this book has been embraced. More importantly, the vastness it points to remains an irrepressible resource available to everyone."
--:-- Mel Robbins: I think it makes me emotional because in 2016, things were really shitty. Chris was really struggling with depression, and I was out trying to make money however I could to get us out of debt. We were just starting to rebuild our lives, and we were at a point where it was like, "God, just get out of bed and do what you need to do." I know so many people feel that way. When you are in that position in your life, it's easy to beat yourself up and it's easy to convince yourself that your life is never going to feel different. I think because Mark wrote this as he was facing a cancer diagnosis that he thought was going to kill him, you can feel in the words that he writes this grappling with where you are versus what's possible. This book just gave me so much hope and the encouragement that I needed to really move forward, especially in those moments when things just felt impossible. It really provided a lot of guidance and hope for me at a time when I desperately needed it.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Even though I'm not in that place anymore in my life and I've worked extraordinarily hard, and so has Chris, just like you're working incredibly hard, it still is relevant every single day that I crack it open and I turn to the day that it is and I read the wisdom on these pages. I'm just grateful for it.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I just literally flipped to a page that Chris has highlighted. [Reading] "Too often we struggle stubbornly in an attempt to protect ourselves from the friction of being alive when it is precisely that friction that works our spirit into a seeable gem. We are more malleable than we think, more durable and changeable than all hope. Thin and fragrant petals do not hide from the wind. They survive to die and break ground again. Even within one life, we shred and reroute. We break, bleed, and rearrange into yet another beautiful thing that learns how to reach. Resisting this process doubles our pain. Singing our way through it is the source of wisdom and beauty."
--:-- Mel Robbins: The reason why I'm recommending this to you is because having something like this on your bedside table that you can wake up to or go to bed to, so that the first thing that you read in the day—the input that everybody talks about—is empowering and hopeful and centers you on your capacity and your capability to rise and to meet whatever it is that you're facing in your life, good or bad. I think that's an incredible resource to give to yourself. This is why I give it as a gift, because we all need words of encouragement. We all need to be reminded of the power within us. You can't always be with the people that you love. But when you give somebody a gift of a book like *The Book of Awakening*, you're giving them almost like a surrogate for you that can sit on their bedside table so that when they pick it up, they know that they're not alone. And they also think of you and the fact that you cared enough to give this as a gift to them.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I see a lot of you doing that with *The Let Them Theory* book. I think it's the same thing: when you share an episode of a podcast like this one that made a big difference in your life with somebody, it's a way of saying, "I love you and I care about you. I think this is going to be something you're going to enjoy or get something out of." When you buy somebody else a book and you write an inscription on the inside, you're doing the same thing. You're literally taking something that represents how you feel about a person and you're giving it to them to act as a companion.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Mark Nepo, *The Book of Awakening*. That's number one. I just love that we're having this conversation. It's almost like we're in a book club together. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing this with people that you care about. Even just talking about the book makes you feel like you've already read it, doesn't it?
--:-- Mel Robbins: If you love what I've already shared so far, you are going to absolutely love the next three recommendations. We're going to get into that second book when we return after a short break. Stay with me.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Welcome back. It's your buddy, Mel Robbins. I'm so thrilled that you're here with me today because today I am sharing four books that have changed my life, the reasons why, why I think they are worth your time and consideration, what you can get out of them, the backstory of some of the authors.
--:-- Mel Robbins: That brings me to book number two. We've already covered Mark Nepo's *The Book of Awakening*. Let's talk about book number two. That book is *The Alchemist* by Paulo Coelho. There are so many reasons why I love this book. I recommend this book. I have also given this book as a gift. If you have not read *The Alchemist*, this is a must-read in my opinion. I love this book.
--:-- Mel Robbins: It is a simple but profound story about a shepherd in Spain by the name of Santiago who has this dream and goes on this spiritual quest in search of treasure. The entire story has all these beautiful twists and turns and delays and upsets and setbacks and epiphanies. It takes you on this amazing journey out there and within. The major, major takeaway from this book is a quote that you may have seen before, you may have heard it, but it is what I do believe to be true about life. The quote is: "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."
--:-- Mel Robbins: Isn't that a beautiful idea? That if you can be clear about what you want, and if you are willing, like Santiago, to walk toward it and to believe that it exists and that it is out there for you, if you are willing to journey in that regard, to go after the treasure in your life that you feel calling to you, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
--:-- Mel Robbins: One of the interesting lessons of this book that I also love is a lesson that you got to be careful what you ask for because you tend to get it, but you just don't get it in the way that you thought that you would. I have read this book over and over and over again. There's another quote that I want to read to you from this book that also is deeply important and incredibly difficult to absorb as a truth about life. Here it is: "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving."
--:-- Mel Robbins: What does that mean? It means that your mere existence makes you worthy of love. And so many of us are out there chasing it. What if you could just believe that you are loved because you're loved?
--:-- Mel Robbins: And no reason is needed for being loved. And the major takeaway from this book, it's really about self-trust and love and learning to listen to your inner compass. And this gigantic takeaway that when you find the courage to believe in yourself and to believe in a vision for your life, and you have the guts to start walking on the path toward this vision that you have for your life, the universe, the world, people, they do conspire to help you. Things do start to change. And I believe that. I believe that so profoundly.
--:-- Mel Robbins: This book has been an important part of my life for over 20 years. In fact, when I wrote my first book, *The Five Second Rule*, which is now eight years old, I write about *The Alchemist* in *The Five Second Rule*. And I want to read to you the reason why this book—not just because of the story of Santiago and the lessons in the book. There is a backstory to this book that was so resonant for me. And I want to tell you about it because a lot of people don't know this.
--:-- Mel Robbins: A lot of people know that *The Alchemist* has sold 65 million copies. That's a lot of books. A lot of people know that it was on the bestseller list for over 300 weeks. And even though this thing is over 25 years old—heck, at this point, it might be over 30 years old—it still will pop on the bestsellers list now and again. That's how relevant and incredible of a book this is and how profound of a story it is.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I would give this to your adult kids. I would read this again if you've read it before. We all need this reminder that you have within you a deeply personal vision for your life. That is your treasure that you are seeking. And you also have within you the capability to set out on an adventure and a journey to go find that treasure that is buried within your life and buried within you. It is a journey of trust. It is a journey of twists and turns. And the more you walk toward it, a magical thing happens. The world, the universe, God, people—it all aligns to help you, if you're willing to start to see the world that way, which I do.
--:-- Mel Robbins: One of the other things that I think is incredible about this book is most people don't know the backstory. So I want to read to you what I wrote eight years ago in my own book, *The Five Second Rule*, in a chapter called "Courage Changes Everything." This is on page 217.
--:-- Mel Robbins: "Have faith. I believe you can make anything happen as long as you listen to your heart, do the work, and give up your timeline. One of my favorite books is the international bestseller, *The Alchemist*. It's one of the best-selling books of all time. It has been translated into 80 languages. I've recommended it for more than a decade, and as I was writing this book, I bought myself a new copy to keep me inspired and remind me of the message of the book: the whole universe conspires to help you when you follow your heart.
--:-- Mel Robbins: "Now, when I cracked open the 25th anniversary edition, I was blown away by the story in the forward of the book. I had no idea that when *The Alchemist* was first published in Brazil, it failed miserably. Miserably. Listen to what Paulo Coelho, the author of *The Alchemist*, wrote in the forward of the 25th anniversary of his book:
--:-- Mel Robbins: "'When *The Alchemist* was first published 25 years ago in my native Brazil, no one noticed. A bookseller in the northeast corner of the country told me that only one person purchased a copy the first week of its release. It took another six months for the bookseller to unload a second copy, and that was to the same person who bought the first. And who knows how long it took to sell the third. By the end of the year, it was clear to everybody that *The Alchemist* wasn't working. My original publisher decided to cut me loose and canceled our contract. They wiped their hands of the project and let me take the book with me. I was 41 and desperate. But I never lost faith in the book or ever wavered in my vision. Why? Because it was me in there. All of me, heart and soul. I was living my own metaphor. A man sets out on a journey, dreaming of a beautiful or magical place in pursuit of some unknown treasure. At the end of his journey, the man realizes the treasure was within him the entire time.'"
--:-- Mel Robbins: You know, when I read "41 and desperate," holy cow, I got chills when I read that line in the foreword of *The Alchemist*. That's how old I was when I discovered the five-second rule. And that's exactly how I felt: desperate. And what I've come to realize is that there is no expiration date on discovering and expressing the power in you. As Paulo Coelho wrote in the foreword, it starts with a belief in yourself, and that belief is grounded in the courage to push yourself forward, set out on a journey, dreaming of a beautiful or magical place, in pursuit of some unknown treasure.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I'm going to remind you exactly what Paulo reminds you of in *The Alchemist*. At the end of this journey, the man realizes the treasure was within him the entire time. But you're never going to find it if you don't push out on the journey. That's what this book has meant to me.
--:-- Mel Robbins: But of course, the story didn't end with failure. As I wrote in *The Alchemist*, when you want something, the whole universe conspires to help you. I started knocking on the doors of other publishers. One opened and the publisher on the other side believed in me and my book and agreed to give *The Alchemist* a second chance. Slowly, through word of mouth, it finally started to sell. 3,000, then 6,000, book by book, gradually throughout that next year.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Eight months later, an American visiting Brazil picked up a copy of *The Alchemist* in a local bookstore. He wanted to translate the book and help me find a publisher in the United States. HarperCollins agreed to bring it to an American audience, but it still took time to sell, slowly finding its audience in the United States by word of mouth, just as it had over the years in Brazil. And then one day, the sitting president of the United States was seen with a copy of it. *The Alchemist* became a spontaneous and organic phenomenon.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And this book was originally published in Portuguese 37 years ago. Isn't that incredible? Isn't it incredible that it was not a success with the first publisher? Isn't it incredible that just like Santiago keeps moving forward, even though there are all these delays and twists and turns and danger, but he believes in the treasure in his heart, that *The Alchemist* is now celebrating its 37th anniversary? And the book is still very much alive. Like my heart and like my soul, it continues to live every day because my heart and soul are in it. And my heart and soul is your heart and soul. And that is the story of this book. The story of one person is the story of everyone's. And one person's quest is the quest of all of humanity. And that is so true.
--:-- Mel Robbins: We all have a treasure that is buried deep within us. No one can take it from you and nobody can prevent you from going and seeking it. Only you can do that to yourself. And if you pick up a copy of *The Alchemist*, I promise you, you are going to be so inspired by this story, but more importantly, you are going to feel so excited and just hopeful and encouraged about the treasure that exists within you that is uniquely for you, that can only be discovered by you. And that is when the journey to go find it will actually begin.
--:-- Mel Robbins: *The Alchemist*. I did not expect to get all profound and emotional about all this stuff. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to take a short break so we can hear a word from our amazing sponsors. And when we come back, I think my recommendations for number three will certainly shake things up. And number four, very different genres, very different reasons why I'm recommending these books. So don't you dare go anywhere because these next two recommendations are going to surprise and inspire you. Stay with me.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Welcome back. It's your buddy Mel Robbins. Today, you and I are talking about four books that have changed my life, the stories behind them, the reason why I love them. Thank you for sharing this episode with people that you care about. Thank you for being here with me today. I'm so excited to jump into the third recommendation.
--:-- Mel Robbins: We've already covered *The Book of Awakening* and *The Alchemist*. Now, we're going to switch gears, and I'm going to recommend a book that is in a completely different category. It is a book that has brought me so close to my daughters, and I don't think every book has to be some big fanfare thing that is deep and profound or self-help or mindset or leadership or relationships. You don't always have to be working on yourself. It's fun to read a book or to listen to a book that helps you escape your life. It helps you imagine a different world, perhaps a world that doesn't exist.
--:-- Mel Robbins: We here in the Robbins household are big lovers of all things Harry Potter and Game of Thrones and *The Hobbit* and *The Lord of the Rings*, but I've never considered myself, oddly enough, like a fantasy reader. You know what I mean? That sort of fantasy that's also sexy fantasy. And that brings me to my third recommendation, which is the *A Court of Thorns and Roses* series, otherwise known as ACOTAR to people on TikTok. This is a fantasy series that is five books, I think, that my daughters recommended. They were absolutely psycho about these things. They were like, "Mom, Mom, Mom, you've got to read *A Court of Thorns and Roses*." I'm like, "I don't care about fairies." They're like, "Oh, no, no, it's so good. And Mom, don't just read it. You have to listen to the dramatic audio."
--:-- Mel Robbins: Have you heard of dramatic audio? This changed my life. Dramatic audio is like a movie in your ear. Dramatic audio is when they take a book and they don't just read it. When you listen to a dramatic audiobook like *A Court of Thorns and Roses*, holy cow, it's like a completely transformative experience. There are actors, there are sound effects, there is so much sex in this book, it's unbelievable. Yes, it is acted out. You literally will blush as you're listening to this thing. It is so fun and fantasy and gripping in all ways that you could think of the word gripping. It is just absolutely incredible.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Once I started listening to *A Court of Thorns and Roses*, I couldn't stop listening. It was like discovering a soap opera that I didn't know existed. I became so invested in the characters. The sound makes you want to escape to the world. What's so cool about dramatic audio is that I would have my earbuds in all day long. I would be washing dishes, but I'm not in my kitchen with my hands in my soapy water. Oh, God, no. I'm literally flying with Rhysand through the skies of Prythian. It's unbelievable. And then I'd be folding laundry or I'd be on a walk. And I'm not in Vermont. Holy cow. No, I'm in the snowy underbelly of the mountain where the evil person and the king is. It is magical how it takes you away.
--:-- Mel Robbins: The coolest thing about dramatic audio: nobody knows you're there. It's not like you're sitting on the couch watching a movie and everybody can see that you're just watching a movie. Oh no, because it's in your mind, you actually feel like you're there. It awakens something as you're picturing what they're describing and the sounds are bringing it to life.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Just like you are talking about *The Let Them Theory* with your sisters and brothers or your mom and dad or your friends, the *A Court of Thorns and Roses* series became an obsession of my daughters and I for probably six months because I literally listened to these books for like six months straight. And every time it was done, I was so disappointed and they were all fantastic.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Another thing that I have to give a shout out about is that the cover for the paperback version of *A Court of Mist and Fury*, number two in the series, was the inspiration. Shout out Sawyer Robbins. Shout out Sarah J. Maas for the inspiration of the green cover and the yellow effects. This is where we got the idea. And you want to know something interesting? When we said we wanted the cover of *The Let Them Theory* to be green, everybody's like, "Oh no, no, green books are bad luck. No, no, there's a thing in publishing: there are no green books. Green books are bad luck. You don't want a green book." I'm like, "I'm sorry, I don't think it's bad luck. Have you seen *A Court of Mist and Fury*? That book is green and yellow and it's selling. I don't think people care about the cover of the book being green. We're going with green because we're inspired authentically by *A Court of Mist and Fury*."
--:-- Mel Robbins: Now, obviously, it looks nothing like it. It's just the same sort. It's not even the same colors because this is sort of aqua blue. But this was the inspiration. I love, love, love it. And in fact, we talked about it so much. My husband, Chris, listened to the entire dramatic audio series. Thank you for doing that, Chris. Because one cool thing about books is they bring you together. That's why people love book clubs. And aren't you seeing a resurgence of book clubs? If you're not in a book club, don't you kind of want to be in one again? How about you start one? And not all the books have to be serious. It's fun to escape your life. It's fun to have something to listen to that takes you to an entirely different place. It's fun to have something that you can't wait to get back to.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I know so many of you feel this way about the podcast, but I got to tell you, I just mainline this. I know that she is working on now the sixth book in the series. I cannot wait, wait, wait until it is completed. And if you've never listened to fantasy, if you're not quite sold yet, let me just hit you with a little bit of research. Reading or listening or watching fantasy is so great for your creativity, your emotional intelligence, your problem solving, because it actually helps you imagine an entirely new world. I mean, just think about things like *Star Wars*. Think about all these different fantasy worlds that we get pulled into that make you imagine life in a whole different way. That is exactly what this book did for me.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I literally started as I was listening to it going, "I want to write a fantasy book." In fact, 10 years ago, my daughters and I were sitting around, we were on vacation, and we started riffing this idea for a book. I'm not going to tell you what it is because we're actually, I think, going to do it. But this is 10 years in the making, and it was listening to this book, especially the dramatic audio, and just immersing myself in world making and thinking about different worlds and wars. It just cracked open a level of creativity in me that I hadn't accessed before. And I think it might do the same thing for you.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And if not, it's just a great book about fairies and wars and sex, and you're going to love it. And it's a great way to blow off a bunch of time as you're driving a car or taking a walk or passing the time while you're washing dishes or doing laundry. And I'm just going to warn you, you might just get sucked into it and you're going to love it. And that's my third recommendation: *A Court of Thorns and Roses*. And I'm now so hooked on the genre, I'm now listening to the dramatic audio of *Onyx Storm*. So once you're in, don't blame me. It's hard to step back out, but you're going to love it.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And my final recommendation is *The Firm*. Yep, *The Firm* by John Grisham. Now, this is a book that came out in 1991. And the reason why I love this book is because this was the first page-turning thriller novel I had ever read. It was like discovering an entirely different genre. And it blew my mind. But it not only blew my mind because of how incredibly gripping and what a page turner it was. I stayed up all night reading this book.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And do you want to know why I remember staying up all night reading this book? It's because I was a first year law student. I didn't have any time. I needed to be spending my time reading law textbooks and researching the law so I could actually be prepared for class in the morning. This was a book about a lawyer who literally discovers after he joins this big, prestigious law firm that, oh my gosh, the law firm is actually tied to the mob and they're laundering money. The FBI gets involved and this young new associate is now in the fight of his life to save him and his wife. As all of this is unraveling, he's discovered it and now they're chasing him trying to kill him. It was unbelievable, but that's not the only reason why this book was unbelievable to me.
--:-- Mel Robbins: So in 1991, when I discovered this book, I was in my first year of law school at Boston College Law School and I felt like I had made the world's biggest mistake. I hated law school. The second I got there, I don't know if you've ever had an experience like this, whether it's in a job or a relationship or a school, or maybe you move into an apartment, you're like, "Oh no, not here." I knew with every cell of my being that this was not me. I hated all the reading. I hated how intense it was. I hated how competitive everybody felt. I didn't want to be a lawyer. I just didn't know what to do with my life. And so I applied to law school because people around me had applied to law school. And so I felt like I had made the biggest mistake. I felt like I was going to be stuck being a lawyer my whole life. I felt like I was going to just forever, forever, forever, like never be happy. Like there was no turning back.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And when I read this book, I was like, "Wait a minute. The guy who wrote this is a lawyer. You could be a lawyer and you can write fiction books? What?" And it opened up my eyes to a very simple fact. You're not stuck anywhere. You're not stuck with the degree that you have. You're not stuck in the profession that you're in. Just because you've studied to do one thing or you dropped out of college and didn't study to do anything doesn't mean you can't write a book. Doesn't mean you can't try something new. Doesn't mean you can't start a YouTube channel. And so it was this huge epiphany to me at a moment in my life where I felt like I had railroaded myself into the wrong profession that, wait a minute, maybe this law degree is actually leading me somewhere. Maybe I'm going to learn a bunch of stuff here, but I don't have to go to a big law firm, especially not one that's laundering money for the mob. I don't have to practice law. I could do what John Grisham did. I could actually just get a law degree and figure it out. And that's what I've done.
--:-- Mel Robbins: There's also another reason why I wanted to recommend this book, and it's because John Grisham's story is freaking unbelievable. It reminds me a little bit of Paulo Coelho's story in terms of *The Alchemist* and the twists and the turns and the failing. But I want to tell you the backstory here because this man, John Grisham, has sold 300 million books. 300 million books? That's insane. But he didn't start that way. Wait till you hear his career path. And this is important to hear because it's easy to gaslight yourself into thinking that there's only one career or that making a mistake or being told no is the end of the story. It's not the end of your story. It's just part of the story.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I want to share some facts with you about John Grisham because it just shows you over and over and over and over again, you're not stuck where you are. You literally are not stuck where you are. Everything that you are doing in life is leading you somewhere else. Every experience that you have is not a waste of your time. It's actually experience that you're gaining that is going to help you down the road. You are on a journey in this thing called life. And absolutely every twist and turn, every no, every setback is preparing you for something.
--:-- Mel Robbins: So let me tell you a little bit about John Grisham's life before he wrote *The Firm* in 1991. He attended community college because he wanted a baseball career, but then he was benched. And check this out: he failed English class in community college. He then transferred to Delta State University as a walk-on player for baseball, but was cut from the team. Why? Guess the universe had some other plans for him, because how are you going to sell 300 million books if you think you're going to be a baseball player? And it's so important that you actually adopt this mindset: what if this all works out? What if all the no's, what if all the heartbreak, what if all the disappointments is actually the world's way of pushing you in the direction you're meant to go? It's incredible. That's how life works.
--:-- Mel Robbins: So he leaves Delta State University after one semester. He changed colleges not once, not twice, but three times before completing his degree. Initially studied economics, then he switched to accounting. He earns a BS, Bachelor of Science, from Mississippi State University in 1977. He was inspired by a Vietnam veteran classmate to pursue law. Now check this out: when he enrolled in the University of Mississippi School of Law, he intended to be a tax lawyer, but then he shifted to civil litigation. He graduated in 1981, 10 years before he wrote this book, and he practiced criminal law for nearly a decade in Southaven, Mississippi. That's the exact kind of law that I practiced for the Legal Aid Society in New York City when I graduated from law school. He was also in the House of Representatives in Mississippi.
--:-- Mel Robbins: His first novel was called *A Time to Kill*. And he was inspired to write that novel because he witnessed the harrowing testimony of a 12-year-old in 1984, and that's what inspired him to start writing *A Time to Kill*. Now, check this out. Was it an instant success? Nope. He was rejected from 28 publishers before he published *A Time to Kill* in 1989. He began writing *The Firm* immediately afterwards. And holy cow, this is unbelievable.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Here's what John Grisham said in an op-ed piece in the *New York Times* in 2010: "Writing was not a childhood dream of mine. I do not recall longing to write as a student. I wasn't sure how to start. Each year from January through March, I was at the state capitol in Jackson, wasting serious time. But now I realize I was also listening to great storytellers. I took a lot of notes, not knowing why, but feeling that someday these tales would come in handy. *A Time to Kill* didn't sell. I stuck with my day job defending criminals, preparing wills and deeds and contracts. Still, something about writing made me spend large hours of my free time at my desk. I had never worked so hard in my life, nor imagined that writing could be such an effort. It was way more difficult than my former jobs of laying asphalt, and at times more frustrating than my former job of selling underwear. But it paid off. Eventually, I was able to leave the law and quit politics. Writing is still the most difficult job I've ever had, but it's worth it."
--:-- Mel Robbins: So *The Firm* by John Grisham is my final recommendation, not only because it was such an important book for me in 1991, where I felt lost in my career, and it opened my eyes to a whole different possibility. And what's interesting is I didn't think, "Oh, I could write a book." I just thought, "Oh, I don't have to practice law." And just like John Grisham, when I was little, even though I was a voracious reader, I never thought maybe I'll write a book one day. And so I also love this book because I love his backstory. And his backstory, step by step, point by point, proves something that I believe is true, that I fundamentally share with you in any way that I can, which is what we've been talking about today.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Your life is preparing you for something extraordinary that hasn't happened yet. And learning how to wake up every day and focus on the power that's inside of you. Buoy yourself up by encouraging yourself and embrace the fact that there is a treasure inside of you. There is something uniquely that is yours, that is meant for you, that is contained within you, within this life that you have. And I do believe that the universe is nudging you along all the time.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And you may be listening right now at a moment in your life where you feel completely stalled out, where you feel like you've just faced nothing but rejection. I promise you, if you hold on to the faith that all of this is preparing you for something extraordinary, it just hasn't happened yet. If you can reframe all of the painful things, the heartaches, the rejection into lessons that are trying to teach you something. If you can take every experience that doesn't seem like it adds up, I promise you, I promise you, one of these days off in the future, you are going to wake up and you're going to look back on this moment in your life and you're going to say, "Oh, I can see exactly why that happened. I can see exactly what I learned from it. And I can also see that this entire time, the universe was nudging me and trying to push me in the right direction all along."
--:-- Mel Robbins: And your job and my job in life is simply to wake up and be present and recognize it when it's happening. And in case nobody else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you and I believe in you. The reason why I say I love you is because love is a very simple thing. Love is literally just admiring something in someone and having them in mind. And if I go to the books that I recommended, in *The Alchemist*, one is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving. And see, I admire the fact that you're the kind of person that makes the time to listen to something that makes your life better. I admire that in you. So that's why I say I love you. Because I admire that in you and I have you in mind.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And I also tell you that you can create a better life because there is no doubt in my mind that you have the capacity and the capability and the treasure inside yourself to do so. And it is my hope that these four books and *The Let Them Theory* are going to help you achieve it. Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a few days because I'll be waiting to welcome you in to the very next episode, the moment you hit play. I'll see you there.
--:-- [End of main episode. Bloopers and bonus segment begin.]
--:-- Mel Robbins: I shouldn't have signed books till 2:30 in the morning. 12:30 in the morning. What is going on with my fucking dry mouth today? We do need food. Holy cow, I got chills. Why is this making me cry? I don't know why this is making me cry. How cool is that? Great.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Okay, let me say one more thing. Can you hear me, hon? Can you hear me now? Can you hear me now? Okay, great. Got you. I'm going to take this off because I'm starting to sweat. And I'm glad that you're a part of us. So I'm Mel Robbins. I'm glad you're a part of us. I know.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist. And this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Stitcher.
--:-- [Bonus segment begins]
--:-- Mel Robbins: This bonus segment is sponsored by Walmart Plus. If you're ready for a fresh start this spring, how about making life a little better? Whether you're focused on spending more time with family, tightening your budget, or making healthier choices, Walmart Plus is here to help you. It's a paid membership program with tons of benefits, and it's super easy to sign up at plus.walmart.com. You get free delivery when you spend at least $35, gas savings, free shipping with no order minimum, and video streaming at no additional cost. It's all designed to save you time and money.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Remember a couple months ago, it was New Year's? You were all excited to set your goals, all these resolutions and things that you wanted to do, and then boom, stress got in the way. Or maybe you've been waiting for the perfect time to just get started and waiting and waiting. Or perhaps you have a dream and you have had this dream for as long as you can remember, tucked in the back of your mind. You're probably beating yourself up about it. Stop. Beating yourself up because you couldn't stick to the things that you wanted to do or you haven't started on that book you wanted to write or whatever it was, that's not going to help you.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Dialing back into those dreams that you have for yourself or those goals that you have for this year, it doesn't have to be overwhelming. You just need to do three simple things: reframe, refocus, and reprioritize.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Step one, reframe. How are you going to think about your goals? Because it's so easy to get stuck in this sort of all or nothing mindset. "Oh, I already messed up, so what's the point?" You're not going to do that anymore. We're going to reframe, and here it is: every small action matters. Did you skip your workout? Who cares? Go for a five-minute walk. In fact, Harvard researcher Teresa Amabile has written all about this thing called the progress principle, and I live by this. Taking even the tiniest steps forward towards something meaningful for you is one of the most powerful ways for you to stay engaged, motivated, and happy in your life, period. You don't have to complete it. You just need to make progress. Thinking about it or journaling about it or holding space for it in the back of your mind counts. You don't lose any of the ground that you've already gained. So let's just reframe it.
--:-- Mel Robbins: Step number two, refocus. So once we've shifted your mindset, now it's time to refocus on why does this change or this goal or this dream matter to you? Not why do you think it should matter? Because you're not going to do anything about something you think you should do. Why do you want this change?
--:-- Mel Robbins: When your reason why is strong, refocusing and following through becomes easier to do. And research by Nick Stwaner at University of California shows that when you tie your goals to your values, you actually enjoy the process and the progress a whole lot more. Doesn't being pulled towards something sound better than having to drag yourself to it? Of course it does.
--:-- Mel Robbins: And that brings you and me to step number three, and that's reprioritize. Instead of feeling paralyzed by all the things that you're trying to change, here's what I want you to do. Pick just one thing. So you may have started the year with all kinds of things that you wanted to change. That's nice and all, but you're just one person. What one goal has the strongest pull right now? And just make that your focus.
--:-- Mel Robbins: When you try to chase multiple goals at once, they just compete with one another. And then you feel like a failure because you can't do any of them. When you focus on one thing, you will start. And once you start, momentum can take over. And the next thing you know, you're going to be making progress and you're going to be feeling back in control again.
--:-- Mel Robbins: I want to give a huge thank you to Walmart Plus for making this bonus segment possible. Thank you to you for being here and listening all the way to this point, because creating a better life doesn't happen overnight. It's about the small things that add up. And that's exactly what's so great about Walmart Plus. If it's right into your everyday routine, saving you time and money with free delivery, free shipping, gas savings, video streaming, and so much more. Walmart Plus can make the rest of your life easier as it should be. Start a free 30-day trial at plus.walmart.com. See Walmart Plus terms and conditions. $35 order minimum. Paramount Plus essential plan only. Separate registration required.
