September 25, 2023

You Asked, I Answered: Don’t Blame Me for Delivering the Hard Truth

00:37:18

Summary

Main Topic: The podcast episode is a rapid-fire Q&A session where Mel Robbins answers questions from her listeners on various topics, including friendships, decision-making, salary negotiation, and personal growth.

Key Points:

Mel Robbins emphasizes the importance of knowing when to walk away from a friendship that is no longer serving you.
She suggests that friendships are a give-and-take relationship, and if you're consistently giving more than you're getting, it may be time to reevaluate the friendship.
Mel recommends using the "let them theory" - letting people decide for themselves whether or not to make changes, rather than trying to force them.
She also discusses the importance of being vulnerable and open with others, and suggests that word vomiting can be a form of vulnerability.
Mel talks about the concept of a "midlife opportunity" rather than a "midlife crisis," and encourages listeners to use their experience and wisdom to create positive change in their lives.
She also offers advice on how to get a loved one to get hearing aids, suggesting a combination of humor, compassion, and addressing the underlying issues.

Participants:

Mel Robbins - the host of the podcast

About this Show

The Mel Robbins Podcast

You can change your life and Mel Robbins will show you how. The Mel Robbins Podcast is the #1 podcast on the globe for a reason: Mel’s simple, research-backed advice has changed millions of people’s lives, and in every episode, she’s giving you all her hard-fought secrets, science-backed tools, and deeply personal stories, so you can change yours too. If you’re a new listener, you’re in the right place. Every episode will empower you to create a better life and help you take a step toward the life you want. Want more? Follow along at @melrobbins Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

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Show Notes

In today’s episode, we are trying something new, and absolutely anything goes. You’ve been flooding my inbox with questions, problems, sticky situations, and big, big dreams and goals.

So today, because you asked, I am going to show up and deliver the hard truth, the surprising advice, the tricks to get you out of any pickle, and the inspiration that you need to take that next step.

Nothing is off the table. So don’t f***ing blame me when I tell you how it is.

I’ve got a pile of hundreds and thousands of YOUR questions, and I’m giving you the coaching you need.

This might be my favorite episode I ever recorded.

We are going to cover:

When it’s time to walk away from a friendship (hint: when these 2 things disappear).
How it’s about damn time you stop dating for potential.
How to use the ‘Let Them Theory’ to protect your energy.
ONE tool you need to make decisions without overthinking.
What’s keeping you from getting a raise or promotion, and more importantly, what should you do to get it.
How to get someone you love to go to therapy (and when it’s time to walk away).
Why a mid-life crisis is actually your greatest opportunity.

Oh, and we will cover my favorite swear word for the season (I can’t write it here, so you’ll have to listen).

You will laugh with me in this episode, and you will also get advice you need to hear.

But don’t blame me if it is TMI—you asked for it!

Xo, Mel

P.S. If any little ones are listening, put those headphones on!

In this episode:

1:40: How do you know when to walk away from a friendship?
9:00: How do you make decisions without overthinking?
10:20: How do women negotiate a fair salary with a boss?
11:55: Mel, what were your dreams when you were a girl?
14:40: How do you get someone to go to therapy when they need it?
25:50: How can you be vulnerable with word vomiting everything?
26:30: Mel, what’s your favorite swear word?
28:20: You need to hear the advice I give about the BS of a ‘mid-life crisis’.
30:50: Betsy’s husband is missing out on life, and she needs help.

Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at https://melrobbins.com/podcast.

Disclaimer

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Transcript

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Mel Robbins: Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Today, we're going to do something a little bit different, and I have a feeling it's going to become a favorite of yours and mine. We're going to answer your questions rapid fire. My friend and colleague, Amy McGlynn, has some of the many questions you've submitted. Let's jump right in.

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Mel Robbins: First question is from Jeannie. She wants to know when it's time to walk away from a friendship. Friendships are a give and take. If you're consistently giving more than you're getting, it may be time to reevaluate. Not every friendship is meant to last forever. It's about energy exchange and vibe.

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Mel Robbins: You'll know when a friendship is no longer worth it if you're always making the effort without reciprocation. It's okay to pull back and focus on relationships that lift you up.

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Amy McGlynn: What does pulling back look like?

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Mel Robbins: It could mean reaching out less frequently or not immediately responding to texts. Friendships aren't one-way streets. If you stop putting in the effort, the relationship might disappear, revealing it wasn't a real friendship to begin with.

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Mel Robbins: Next question from Natasha. She asks how to make decisions without overthinking. Use the "What would [someone you respect] do?" tool. Borrow confidence from others and take action.

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Mel Robbins: Pick a person you admire and ask yourself what they'd do. Then, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1—go! This helps overcome fear and overthinking.

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Mel Robbins: Neely asks how to negotiate a salary as a woman with a male boss. Prove your value by showing your contributions to the bottom line. Keep track of your impact and solve problems. This makes you invaluable, regardless of what others are paid.

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Mel Robbins: Next question: What were my dreams as a young girl? I wanted to be a doctor, but that was more admiration for my dad. Deep down, I wanted to be a performer, inspired by artists and speakers who moved people.

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Mel Robbins: I studied history and film, volunteered at a domestic violence hotline, and eventually found my path in helping others through my work.

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Mel Robbins: Trini says I'm her North Star. I love you too, Trini. Let's take a quick break.

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[Break]

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Mel Robbins: Welcome back. Next question: How to get someone to go to therapy when they refuse. You can't force them, but you can set boundaries. Explain your concerns and offer support, but ultimately let them decide.

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Mel Robbins: If they refuse, express your boundaries clearly. For example, "I can't stay in this relationship if you don't get help." This communicates your needs without manipulation.

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Mel Robbins: Sean asks how to be vulnerable without word vomiting. Sometimes, word vomiting is your form of vulnerability. It's okay to let it out, but practice being more mindful over time.

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Amy McGlynn: What's your favorite swear word?

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Mel Robbins: The F-bomb. It's classic.

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Amy McGlynn: Mine's "dickbag" this season.

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Mel Robbins: I like it. It's fun and a bit French-sounding.

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Mel Robbins: Betsy asks how to get her husband to get hearing aids. Approach it with compassion and humor. Plan a fun outing and surprise him with an appointment.

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Mel Robbins: Address the deeper fears he may have about aging and vulnerability. Make it about improving your shared experiences, like enjoying movies without missing dialogue.

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Mel Robbins: Midlife crisis? It's actually a midlife opportunity. Your 40s and beyond are a time of wisdom and growth. Don't buy into the crisis narrative. Take action and create the life you want.

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Mel Robbins: Thanks for tuning in. Remember, I'm here to give you the truth and advice you need. Keep moving forward and creating a better life. I believe in you.

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[Outro music plays]

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Mel Robbins: This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only. I'm not a licensed therapist, so take my advice as from a friend. See you next time!