October 23, 2023

“You’re Not Obsessed With Your Ex, Patsy; You’re an Addict.” Mel’s Advice, Listener Questions, and More!

00:42:15

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

The podcast episode, hosted by Mel Robbins, features rapid-fire questions from listeners, which Mel and her colleague Amy McGlynn answer. The episode covers a range of topics, including mental health, relationships, parenting, and personal growth.

Main Topic:

The main topic of the episode is Mel's personal experiences and insights gained from her podcast guests, which she has implemented in her own life. She shares three key takeaways:

Anxiety is a signal that we feel separate from others, and soothing that part of ourselves is crucial.
Mental health issues are often solved by making physical changes, such as exercise, sleep, and nutrition.
Intermittent fasting has improved her life, and she recommends it to her listeners.

Key Points:

Mel shares her personal experiences with anxiety and how she has learned to soothe it.
She emphasizes the importance of physical habits in mental health, such as exercise, sleep, and nutrition.
Intermittent fasting has improved her life, and she recommends it to her listeners.
Mel discusses how to argue with a partner in a healthy way, using the "red light, green light" concept to signal when you're not ready to talk.

About this Show

The Mel Robbins Podcast

You can change your life and Mel Robbins will show you how. The Mel Robbins Podcast is the #1 podcast on the globe for a reason: Mel’s simple, research-backed advice has changed millions of people’s lives, and in every episode, she’s giving you all her hard-fought secrets, science-backed tools, and deeply personal stories, so you can change yours too. If you’re a new listener, you’re in the right place. Every episode will empower you to create a better life and help you take a step toward the life you want. Want more? Follow along at @melrobbins Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast ad-free. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

Recommended Episodes

8 Small Habits That Will Change Your Life: The Best Expert Advice I’m Using This Year

Mental health issues are often solved by making physical changes, such as exercise, sleep, and nutrition.
Intermittent fasting can improve one's life.
Arguing with a partner in a healthy way involves using the "red light, green light" concept to signal when you're not ready to talk.
Dealing with difficult parents of your kids' friends involves setting boundaries and not trying to control their social lives.
Taking action in personal development is more important than just consuming content.
Worth is created internally, and it's not something that can be proved by a job or another human being.

Show Notes

Welcome to another round of your questions and my advice. I have a stack of your crazy, raw, and unbelievably direct questions, so we are going to have an unfiltered conversation about sex, competitive parents, getting over your ex, and this light and easy question... Is there a God?

You are getting the coaching you need right now.

The questions you asked are juicy:

Why am I still obsessed with my ex? It’s been 7 years.

My partner refuses to have sex with me. What do I do now?

The parents of my kid’s friends are so competitive; how the hell do I get out of this rat race?

Is there a God?

Imposter syndrome is killing my career. What the hell do I do?

What are the 4 new habits I can’t stop? (Because they are THAT GOOD.)

Why do I feel so trapped in my life? What do I need to know to get out?

Why can’t I fix myself after years of personal development courses?

Get the tough love, “ah-ha” moments and laugh your ass off at some of the crazy stuff that goes down in this episode.

You asked… and I can’t wait for you to hear my answers.

Xo, Mel

In this episode:

1:00: The 4 best tips I’ve learned in these first 100 podcasts.

4:25: How do you stop checking in on your ex’s social media?

7:50: 3 techniques to help you argue with your partner in a healthy way.

10:30: The “red light:green light” technique that’s worked for me and Chris.

14:15: What’s my astrological sign?

15:40: Here’s what I believe about faith and signs and a higher power.

22:30: What happens when we die? This is what I think.

24:20: How do you deal with difficult parents of your kids’ friends?

30:10: Husband is ready for sex months after his wife has a baby, but she’s not.

35:08: This is how I learned I was dyslexic.

35:35: Hard line advice on promoting your business without feeling egotistical.

37:30: Why all your personal development work doesn’t feel like it’s working.

41:50: Behind the scenes and blooper clips just for you.

Want more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com/podcast.

Disclaimer

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcript

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Mel Robbins: Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. A couple weeks ago, I took a bunch of your questions rapid fire. It was such a freaking home run that you nearly crashed our website at melrobbins.com with more questions. And so we're going to do it again today. And if you guys continue to crash our website, just go to melrobbins.com/podcast and you could submit a topic. We're going to keep on doing this. Without further ado, you ask, I answer. My friend and colleague, Amy McGlynn, is going to be reading your questions rapid fire. Let's go.

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Amy McGlynn: Lee asks, Mel, what are the top things you've learned from these guest speakers you've had on the podcast that you've implemented yourself?

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Mel Robbins: Oh, I love this. Great question. From the first 100 episodes, I've learned a few key things. Number one, Dr. Russell Kennedy talked about anxiety as an alarm in your body. It rings when you feel separate from others or your power. Soothing that part of yourself is crucial.

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Another thing I've learned is that mental health solutions often come from physical habits. Getting out of bed, making it, seeing bright light, walking outside without listening to anything—these boost my mood.

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I also learned about intermittent fasting from Dr. Mindy Peltz. Going 12 to 16 hours without eating for 21 days, then taking seven days off. It's changed my life.

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And Dana K. White taught me about tidying. Instead of making piles, I walk things to where they belong. It's a game changer.

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Amy McGlynn: Patsy asks, Mel, how do I stop looking at my ex's social media to catch a glimpse of their new life? She's been split for seven years.

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Mel Robbins: Patsy, you need to block them. Delete their contact info. You're addicted to the negative sensation. It's a toxic cycle. Block them on every platform. You can't trust yourself. It's like an addiction. Block them, block them, block them.

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Amy McGlynn: Nikki asks, how do you argue with your partner in a healthy way?

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Mel Robbins: Couples that fight stay together. Assume good intent, listen as much as you speak. Don't walk away without a plan to continue. Use red light, green light to signal if you're ready to talk. Don't let unresolved issues linger. Go deeper into the real issues, like feeling unseen or unsupported.

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Amy McGlynn: Sarubi asks, what's your star sign?

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Mel Robbins: I'm a Libra, born October 6th. I feel best when balanced, though I'm not always perfect.

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Amy McGlynn: Missy asks, do you have faith in a higher power?

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Mel Robbins: I believe in a higher power, some greater force. Signs from the universe guide us. We're all connected. When you believe and look for signs, the world aligns to help. Like my daughter Kendall's story at the music festival, where she met Phil, a keyboardist, and they performed together. That's the higher power at work.

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Amy McGlynn: What happens when we die?

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Mel Robbins: I think we're born into another world, like leaving the womb. Death might be similar, a transition to a new consciousness.

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Amy McGlynn: How do you deal with difficult parents of your kids' friends?

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Mel Robbins: It depends on the kids' ages. Let them manage their relationships. Don't force inclusion. Focus on finding better friends. Parents' insecurities drive this behavior. Stop pushing your kid into unwanted situations.

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Amy McGlynn: Phil asks, how to show love and bring back intimacy after having a new baby.

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Mel Robbins: Focus on affection over penetration. Have conversations about what feels good. Cultivate intimacy through actions, not just words. Be patient and understanding.

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Amy McGlynn: Betsy asks about life insurance.

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Mel Robbins: Not my expertise. Next question.

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Amy McGlynn: Nay asks, how did you know you were dyslexic?

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Mel Robbins: Found out when my child was diagnosed. It made sense in hindsight.

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Amy McGlynn: Ann Marie asks, how to promote her business without feeling egotistical.

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Mel Robbins: Marketing is an act of service. Don't deny people your products due to insecurity. It's not bragging; it's necessary.

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Amy McGlynn: Kath asks, what are you looking forward to?

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Mel Robbins: Taylor Swift concert in Paris with my daughters for my 55th birthday.

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Amy McGlynn: What if you're doing all the personal development work but still don't feel enough?

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Mel Robbins: Write down what a worthy day looks like and act on it. Create worth through actions, not external validation.

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Amy McGlynn: Sprinkles?

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Mel Robbins: I don't like sprinkles.

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[Legal disclaimer played]

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Mel Robbins: Thanks for tuning in. Remember, I love you and believe in you. Keep up the good work.