No, I'm Shy: Wednesday, January 7th, 2026

Good morning, girlies. It's the toast. It's Jackson, Claude, and we're your hosts. It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to the toast and happy hump day. First hump day of the new year. I hope everybody's feeling especially humpy, get your pillow-humping saddles, because it's Jackie O. Hey, Jax, how you doing? Hey, Koji. I'm doing good. We are once again simpatico today. You guys, we are not planning this. We're both wearing blue? We're both wearing blue. I told you I keep it cash on a Wednesday, so I'm wearing this new cute sweater I got. Some people do casual Fridays. Jackie does- I do casual Wednesdays. That's when I need a break in my week from all the formality, all the collars. You are wearing a collar, but okay. It's a collared sweatshirt. It's like a quarter zip. And I feel cozy. You look cozy. You look gorgie. Thank you so much. I love that we're on the same wavelength of blue. Yeah, cerulean. It's a blue sort of day. You were wearing a sweater handpicked for you by the people in this room. I love that for me. Yeah, I feel like this actually is what Meredith, whatever her name was talking about, Priestly, like I'm wearing a blue shirt from Amazon, and at one point this blue was handpicked for me by the people in that room. No, and the fact that we think it's a coincidence that we're just wearing this blue when so many decisions and people went into the fact that we're both wearing this blue today one thousand percent that will go down in history as like one of the greatest reads of all time that and porsche i'm kenya moore no why can't why am i having a stroke phaedra phaedra to kenya right so you could have a chat so he could get a coke like literally read of the century there's a couple in the hall of fame oh of course pretty much i would let gemma know probably number one yeah definitely hall of fame in these parts yeah we could do a whole episode on that patreon about that um today's wednesday we've got great stories matthew coma's putting his foot in the celebrity mom saga officially making it not fun um what other the stories uh just like gwen it's not a podcast that's always good bits and bobs my like headline news today of like my personal life is that max is two months old today oh my god okay let's take a trip down memory lane. It's funny how you really stop like counting weeks and months when you know after like second baby third baby just like count less and less Someone has me Are you doing pictures Oh no I didn even do those for Harry I didn do them either I started doing them for Harry like the first month second month and then I dropped off and it like made me feel really guilty that I didn't do it and knowing that I would never have done that like for a second baby third baby like why would I do like I'm so I've forgiven myself it's a new mom thing like if you're gonna do it you're only gonna do it with your first but I'm glad to know you didn't do it either I didn't do it. I have a couple pictures for like month one, month two. They do nothing for me. Like, they're not like I have better pictures of just like them at the beach, like the milestone. Yeah. Like to get them to pose on the blanket. Like it's very difficult. It feels very stage mom to remember where you put all like the circles that you're going to put around the block to remember where the blanket is on the day. Not for me. Yeah. Okay. I'm glad. But the other day, like someone asked me like how many weeks Max was and I'm like, seven eight joggers I don't know I think he's joggers years old I think he is joggers years old and also you know how the bump app when you're done being pregnant like it starts giving you your toddler your baby is one week old two weeks old because I went flex past my due date and I never updated the bump app like they were sending they just assumed I gave birth on my due date and they were like sending me like his gestational his gestational age like on the wrong day so I was Like between weeks. So just like kind of advanced. So today I get to like call it two months. Zach actually reminded me. Right. Of course. Of course. And he's like, happy two months. You're a business owner. You're a mother. Like you can't remember every date. But yeah, two months is major. Major. Well, congrats on making it two months. Thank you. That's also like I used to be like, okay, yeah, the baby's two months. I have breastfed for two months. That's the real milestone. Yes. It is a fabulous milestone. Congrats. And yeah, two months. Huge. Yeah. It's not the biggest one. Like three months is a really big one. Well, actually, two months, they do say technically like the newborn phase is eight weeks. That's what people say. Oh, I've heard 12 weeks, three months. I thought it was 12 weeks, three months, obviously. But you're only considered a newborn at like the eight weeks. No, but eight weeks is a milestone like in life for baby. But no, newborn stage is three months. Everything's like zero to three. I'm just letting you know what I heard. Also, if it's the fourth trimester, the trimesters are roughly 12 weeks. Simply letting you know what I heard. Simply letting you know the misinformation that you want to send me on the show. You guys, I'm not the only person who says this. I can't wait for the comments to be like, no, I heard that too. Like I'm telling you, it's like what people say. On this huge platform well the bump app didn say it Like you no longer a newborn Should we ask chat okay let settle this with chat even though our if we both put it into chat how long is a baby considered a newborn for it'll probably give us different answers wow what a baby's considered a newborn from birth until 28 days four weeks okay four weeks so one to three months is often and called an infant and then three to 12 is still an infant but no longer a newborn so three being the pediatricians use four weeks okay that's wrong okay so you didn't understand the question yeah chat is getting so dumb i'm actually about like thinking about making the switch two i've heard good things about grok is there a grok app or there is no that's the thing i always thought grok was like a part of twitter i'm like okay well i'm not gonna like tweet out my thoughts That would be so embarrassing. Like, what is one plus three? So then I heard Grok has an extra app, like something separate is what I heard. Okay. Yeah. Try it. What are you doing? I'm hearing like a little echo. Oh, I thought you were messing with my headphones. No, I would never do that to you. I know how important your headphones are to you. Well, yeah, they are. I'm hearing a little echo. I think maybe you're just like having like postpartum paranoia. I just am hearing a vibration on the table. maybe you're just like am i screaming you're shaking the roof off this place am i screaming no i mean if i'm the only one then ignore me maybe i should put my headphones on maybe she's experiencing postpartum psychosis even though i was um i've heard it starts at two months even though i was like feeling my hair do you look super cute don't put the headphones on like okay she said don't put the headphones on it's actually a crazy thing to like make a major change to your look in the middle of the podcast because we look at the monitors before we're comfortable even if we don't love it like we know it it's familiar to make a big shift like putting your hair up or taking your hair down the middle of the podcast it's just not done okay so i'm not gonna do it i'm gonna ignore whatever i'm hearing the voices in my head listen just a little schizophrenia you know yeah but it's there it's they're real it's kind of like the lord it's always with you like you jesus yeah so i have this thing where like and most of the time i wear my hair down middle part like most of my hair in front and when i try to like describe this look it's not like a style and I call it the Jesus look because this is how Jesus Christ wore his hair. Straight middle part. I have a cowlick, the only thing. Hair in front. It's the only thing separating me from Jesus. He wasn't like behind the ear. Yeah, the only thing separating me from Jesus is I have a cowlick and he doesn't. So I'm like, that's what's stopping me from having a perfect middle part. A perfect Jesus look Right Where your cowlick Oh you don know about my cowlick In the back Yeah So like I would say say the first two of my part are dead center straight and then the back don look at the do not look at the back of my part i don't look at the back of my part it's none of my business it goes sideways the back of your head is none of your business if god wanted you to see it he would make it the front you right he would give me eyes over there he'll give you eyes in the back of your head what is that from the back of your head is ridiculous like a sketch yeah but like From what show? Like something. Not SNL. Can I have your number? Yeah, what's the... It's, um... It's like Mad... Mad TV, Mad TV. Yeah, okay, okay. Yep, good job. That was everything to me growing up. Was it? Oh, man, that sketch. You were watching Mad TV? No, I was watching that sketch on YouTube. That's so funny as a young child. Not me, like, quoting Mad TV. I've never seen that show. And also, like, Key and Peele. I've never seen that either. But people already, like... Aaron. Jay Quellen. Yeah, you are that skit, Aaron. Like, you read things phonetically. Like, you read things phonetically so that, yeah, like, Toast. Welcome to the Toast. A-Aaron. Yeah, there's a Key and Peele sketch. Ben was, like, very. But I'm Jay Quellen. You're Jay Quellen. I'm Claudia. Claudia. You can't really fuck that up. You could. No. Yeah. I'm saying as a fucker-upper, Claudia's pretty straightforward. Aaron. I love that. Yeah. I love it. Whitney Layovit. Whitney Layovit. Correct. tailored different yeah this is such a phonetic show it is it's hooked on bonnie why are you looking at me like that i don't know you are looking at me weird right i'm not i just like have a lot going on i put on headphones yeah is everything okay are we still stable it's giving the integrated interface today like you're being weird i'm not but how do my headphones look without like i just you know i don't like to talk about the show so much like i actually agree with that like my favorite thing you look gorgeous that's why i was just trying to like wing it i I feel blind. It was crazy for you to put the headphones on in the middle of the show. I feel like a blind person. Okay. Should we turn the monitor on and like. Just to take a look. Even though I don't really care about like my looks on the show right now, because if I did, I would be. We can't be in a place. I'd be very unhappy. Right. We can't be in a place where we're caring. But I do like want to make sure I'm not alfalfa. You're not alfalfa. You don't have like a big hair sticking out of your head. Alfalfa is such a good reference. Agreed. What is that? Little rascals? Yeah. Okay. Adorable. Yeah. Anybody who's ever had like one hair out of place is an alfalfa. Alfalfa energy this year. You know? Alfalfa ate with that. Cause because one thing about alfalfa he didn't give alfalfa energy this year alfalfa ate with that because one thing about alfalfa he didn't give a fuck and he was not a shallow person or else he would have slicked his fucking hair back yeah you know but i think like the sprout was the look i also think the sprout was symbolic like a metaphorical sprout because he was constantly blooming where he was planted and he was a leader yeah a leader in his community a role model for young men today and those rascals needed leadership that movie's really good little rascals it is i get it confused with little giants which olivia's family's obsessed with it i don't think i've seen that one you have the annexation of puerto rico oh the annexation of puerto rico yeah yeah always a slay constantly what do you think about the annexation of puerto rico you mean in terms of your political your geopolitical ideology i feel like whatever situation we have now like seems to be working for everyone and when you say the annexation of puerto rico what does that mean like they're on their own they're no longer with us no no we would annex them completely there would be a state Oh, no, I don't think that's necessary. And I don't think they want that either. Do they pay taxes? No, that's why the Paul brothers live there. So what does the U.S. gain from their partnership? U.S. citizens can travel to that beautiful place without a passport. That's definitely huge. That's major. I think there's some trade. Some trade. And then I actually recently had lunch, not recently, like 10 years ago, had lunch with a native Puerto Rican and she was explaining that like they don't want it either. They're happy with the way that it is. Like it's good. It seems like everybody's happy. Yeah. It's not like something that gets talked about a lot. Yeah. So let's like let's sleeping dogs lie. Viva Puerto Rico, you know, as I'm always saying. So we will not annex Puerto Rico any further. Correct. Than has already been annexed. There is chat about annexing Hawaii. Hawaii is a state. oh sorry anti-annexing what's the opposite de-annex de-annex like when you just like set them free there's chatter about that on tiktok and i think the people of hawaii are actually down like they do not want to be a part anymore i could understand that and then when you look at a map and i only recently learned how random the location of hawaii is and how like not with us they are and i you know i would be down for that like and i have no stake if that's Like I think they're probably good. I would be open to the idea because geographically it doesn't make a ton of sense. Same, let's talk about Alaska. Yeah but I just feel like the people in Alaska are very much the elk of Americans And I feel like the people of Hawaii like they never really wanted to be with us And they they have like they speak their own language of their own culture I don know the backstory but something about it like doesn make sense But Alaska, you know, is geographically closer to Russia. Yeah. But I don't know. Nobody talks about the cultural impact of Sarah Palin on like the Alaskan people, because to me, Alaska is so American. Like somebody from Alaska was almost vice president. You know what I mean? Like, Oh, I thought you were going to say, because she put us on to the fact that they're close to Russia when she said she could see Russia from her window. 1,000%. That actually was crazy if she could see Russia from her window. No, but then it wound up being kind of applicable a couple years ago when Russia was in the mix again. Because it's like, wait, part of us. Let's go to Sarah's house to see what's happening. Part of us, the U.S., is very close to Russia and at risk of Russian retaliation. Right. And then I feel like I wasn't old enough to really understand at the time how crazy it was that Bristol Palin got pregnant during that time. Yeah. That was shocking. That was a cultural shift. It was. And I didn't really understand it. I still don't. But what's to understand? Like how crazy it was at the time when her mom was running for vice president. Is that right? I feel like it was an episode of Veep, like when they all found out, like they were probably freaking. Yeah. So that's your geopolitical segment for the day. Can't wait to read all the hate comments coming from Hawaii. Hawaii is like a very touchy subject. OK. Yeah. At least it is on TikTok. I could understand. I could see why. And I don't know enough about it to touch on it in the touchiness. All I know is that I stand with the people of, and don't call it Hawaii. Hawaii? Hawaii. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, I support. I support. I also support you. I support us. I support the past five. And that's my segue for today. You want to get into the stories? Yeah. Okay. Let's get into. No, I do. I just like know how much love there is for the pre-Fast Five banter. and as a people pleaser, I just like want to give the people what they want. Let's keep going. But when I reflect on what more I have to give to the pre-Fast Five banter, nothing like really comes to mind. I personally had shifted because I was running on empty, like talking about Bristol-Baylor, okay? So if you do want to continue it, you are just going to have to like tell me what you want to talk about. I'm going to have to go in on my own. No, no, no. I'll be there for you, but you are going to have to like provide the topics. For sure. Now it's just like a lot of pressure that like what I have to say is more interesting than the Fast Five. But you know what? I feel like as always, the Fast Five are a conduit to more banter A gateway And if there anything that comes up I will feel free to use my voice on my platform and make mention of it and i know you always feeling shy so don like just you shy you guys no no i recently discovered no that it that all i gonna say okay claudia is shy okay sure fine you know what i've always been the one who's worn my shyness on my sleeve like i'm always like i'm shy and i mean that like i am shy i recently learned about my sister that she is shy okay yeah i'm shy jackie wants to throw me into like the most craziest social situation and then i was like i kind of don't want to and she was like you're shy like okay sure what happened i'm shy sure i don't want to get into it because i'm sure you know i'm too shy to get into it yeah i'm shy i'm shy everyone claudia shy you got me i'm the big shy girl i never would have just call me shy that i am less shy than you yeah yeah you guys i'm shy like after all these years how you don't know that about me is insane you so you agree yeah you're really shy yeah i'm shy okay i'm shy hi i'm shy what's your name less shy yeah yeah yeah less shy shy but yeah i'm so shy i mean my whole life i've described you i'm like my sister claudia she's so outgoing and boisterous And all of this because Jackie was encouraging me to do something so insane. And by the way, I did it. We can't get into the details. We can't. But we can get into the fast five stories that you need to know. Today's episode of The Toast is brought to you by Nanit. What a perfect sponsor to celebrate my milestone today. Nanit is one of my favorite baby products of all time. It is the goaded baby camera. Their newest product drop was almost as insane as the Laboo Boo craze. If you're building your baby registry right now, stop what you're doing and add the Nanit Smart Baby Monitor to your list. So Nanit is revolutionizing parenthood. It is providing the most helpful tools for today's parents, allowing them to find balance and peace of mind like never before. Whether you're a first-time parent or an experienced parent like me, I still rely on Nanit for so much. You can trust Nanit to guide you through all things sleep and development from nap time to wake cycles, bedtime routines, scheduling tips, so much more. 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It's a great experience. You get tailored meals to meet your dog's specific needs. They are perfectly portioned meals in mess-free packaging and they're one of a kind technology through their Ollie app offers on-demand health screenings where you can tap real experts for pup peace of mind. I mean, isn't that the best. They use data from the AliPak to develop new recipes and products for your dog. It is just a great product for your pup and they deserve the world. They deserve the best and they deserve tasty meals. First story, a little update in the mom drama. Mom talk 2.0. This is like mom talk for people on reels. This is mom talk for celebrities. That's what I said yesterday. No, but like the content, it's like for people on reels. It's not on TikTok. I feel like I'm missing stuff on TikTok. Sammy Ryan like posted a TikTok. Who's that? She's the member of the mom group with tattoos. Oh, what did she say? And she was like lip syncing to Meg Thee Stallion like fucking it Hyping herself up Like you the worst I hate you Love that just kidding but it was like a megan the stallion lyric that was like cutting clapping back perhaps i don know now matthew coma is responding to ashley tisdale's toxic mom group essay with a clapback of his own he posted for those who don't know matthew coma is hillary duff's husband hillary duff's husband He's like a music wonder. Allegedly. He's always in the news for things that he says. He's very opinionated. Yeah, I feel like we're always talking about him, not like as regards to his work, but just he's always like starting stuff. He loves to be snappy. He uses social media. I feel like a lot of the times where Hillary can't speak or won't speak, she speaks through him because I have to imagine what he posted was sanctioned by Hill. Well, I don't think she could stop him, but like- I do. No, I don't think so. Like you can't stop Matthew Koma. He really pops off often. Yeah. And here he goes again. He posted a picture of himself and like Photoshopped a fake headline on top that like looked like the cut article. Right. When you're the most self-obsessed tone deaf person on earth, other moms tend to shift focus to their actual toddlers. So it seems as though he's calling Ashley Tisdale the most self-obsessed tone deaf person on earth. And other moms. And that's why. Started leaving her out because they were focusing their shift to their actual toddlers. Now, this kind of feels like what we said yesterday. Like, they just weren't vibing with her, and they decided to move on. And so up until this point, it was very much like team the other women. But something about, like, your husband stepping in, like, this is very much like a women's issue. I kind of get the ick. Like, I appreciate it because we didn't need to know. We really did. I appreciate the clarity. And Cam Tisdale seems to be backtracking and saying this is about another mom group that Ashley's in, not the celebrity mom group. even though she literally doesn't follow half of them on Instagram now. They were like best friends forever. They all went to Ojai. I learned more about the situation after the episode yesterday, looking at like who the people are. And the girls who like, I would think would be like the mean ones in this situation. There was like one girl. I'm like, Oh, it's totally her. She doesn't follow them. So like, obviously there's bad blood. Now her publicist is trying to say, no, it's a different group. Wait. So she has bad blood with two groups. That's weird. Right. And Matthew Coma is bringing it back to say, no, no, no. This is the Hillary Duff group. and it's very much Duff v. Tisdale. The Tisdale response is so strange because it's clear like all she wanted was attention about this story. She wrote about it not once but twice, posted about it like multiple times and she got the attention that she wanted Now we all looking into what she saying and the results aren what i think she had hoped because i don think most people are on her side so now she backtracking it a very weird pick me behavior and i getting the vibe that like as we predicted she definitely seems insufferable that's what matthew coma is kind of saying to us but it already didn't like feel like so much like a fair fight because it's like all the girls against one and now like her husband's getting involved it feels like housewives like when the husband gets involved and like nobody else's husband involved it gives me the ick i don't know i'm not like loving i like that matthew coma responded and like confirmed like yes this is about this group and they left her because she sucks but i don't know when a boy gets involved it's like what are you doing here i agree like pick on someone your own size like men and women's sports agree this is a man and women's sports it's true like it's just not for you and i feel like the second he got involved at first i saw it i was like oh juicy and then the more i sat with it i'm like i'm no longer having fun yeah i appreciated the initial juice and you know what But like, I just, this came from Hillary. Like, I don't agree with you that like anything he posts is not sanctioned by her. Like, she's so famous. So she was okay with him. I don't think she like wrote it herself. No, no. He was like, babe, I'm going to post this. And she was like, sure, whatever. I literally don't think she cares. And I just wish like if they were going to respond, like one of the women respond. It would have gotten just as much. Well, Tammy Ryan seems to have. Yeah, but in a very thinly veiled way. Like a lot. You could say like, oh, I just like this song. Just like we were talking about Brianna Chicken Fry. Right. You can. Mastermind. A lip sync doesn't. This is a very clear. It's a cut. It's clearly about. And so I just wish someone else had posted it. That's like the only thing up until this point I was like writing for the other girls. But you don't feel like devil's advocate for coma's advocate here. Like if someone is trashing your wife, don't you feel like it could be a husband's responsibility to step in and like defend your wife? I do. If someone was like writing articles about you and how you were their feeling. Yeah. I would love to see Ben step up and call them the most insufferable person on earth. I would respect that. Okay. That's actually true. Yeah. And I actually think that's a great example because like Hillary's super famous and like Matthew's famous, but like less very similar to Ben and I. So the dynamics do apply. No, sometimes we make a rep like analogy and they don't. This is a perfect analogy. I am Hillary Duff. Like a former friend of yours who's a woe. And now she's crying on a press tour, crying about her feelings. Yeah. And like, no, Ben has to get in there and check that thing. It's like you're too big and too famous and like you're not gonna respond to this. It's beneath me. This sad little person. But it's not beneath my less famous husband. Yeah and like men should stick up for their wives No you know what You 100 right Something about like men getting involved in women fighting the housewives fan in me Well the thing is you can apply it to housewives Actually, that's really great that you bring that up because the housewives are like have a set of rules that they abide by. And it's no husbands. Because if the husbands stuck up for their wives every time someone called them a mean name, it would be the househusbands. The househusbands. No, they follow a strict code of conduct. In order to keep the show the show, husbands can't get involved. Even though you want to, you want to support your life, you can't. You're right. So it's not housewives. Okay. It's real people's wives. Okay. So the ick factor is subsiding. And I'm glad that we were right. Like what he said is what we said yesterday. Sometimes a friendship doesn't serve you because you find someone annoying. You find them stupid. You find them whatever. And it's clear that they found her self-centered. Very Sharpay of her. So Sharpay coded. So Sharpay coded. So that's the latest on the drums. Yeah. Check back in tomorrow. Yeah. It's a kind of an ever evolving story. Yeah. There's so many players, so many social media accounts to post from. Well, now there's also Haley Duff. So Haley Duff is obviously Hillary's less famous sister. She liked Ashley Tisdale's post promoting her article on the cut. We know, and we've known for years that Hillary and Haley are not on speaking terms. People are led to believe that it has to do with them having different politics, which would be so crazy. That's never been confirmed, by the way. This would be like the second allegation of Hillary falling out over politics. Right. So it's, is Haley and Ashley MAGA? But Ashley literally said, I'm a registered Democrat. This has nothing to do with politics. Yeah. And if it was politics, Matthew Koma called her most self-obsessed tone deaf person on earth. He would have said like bigoted, like, you know? Yeah. Yeah. That doesn't read political. No, you're right. But Haley's involvement is curious. Yeah. She's obviously anti-Hillary. And I want to say something. like I could be beefing with my sister like not on speaking terms for 10 years you will never find me siding like publicly with someone who's beefing with my sister like yeah I hate you I'll never talk to you again but you're still my sister yeah so this is like a major loser check in the column for Haley Duff there were already a couple of checks in that column because like you know um I don't like this on Haley's part I agree I don't know what happened even like family who's not on in speaking terms, there is a line. Like you're still family. I agree. So publicly taking Ashley to still side, like I don't like that. And she knew what she was doing when she liked it. Of course. Because people are, especially like internet sleuths, people are obsessed there is a line. there is a line. Like, you're still failing. I agree. So publicly taking Ashley Tisdale's side, like, I don't like that. And she knew what she was doing when she liked it. Of course. Because people are, especially like internet sleuths, people are obsessed with the rift between Hailey and Hilary Duff. How could you not be? I didn't even know that there was a rift, but that's really surprising and saddening. It's very sad. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Gwyneth Paltrow says she was fired from a movie after her decision to consciously uncouple from her husband, Chris Martin. So Gwyneth Paltrow went on good hang with Amy Poehler. And I want to say I'm kind of like doing a 180 on Amy Poehler. I was just like a hater of her podcast because like, you know, we're over here doing this for 10 years. She comes in and gets nominated for a Golden Globe in less than a year. But you know what? Like the cream rises in podcasting and everything I see from her podcast is fucking funny. Like she's obviously I know she's funny. She's Amy Poehler. But she's a really good podcaster. She gets great guests and she does with the guests like what you want. A lot of people get amazing guests and it's like, girl, move over. Let me do it. But Amy Poehler, like she's kind of a delight. and I'm revoking my hater card. And I don't ever hate her. I was just like not happy for her success. But you know what? Now I am. And then she had Gwyneth and any opportunity to make Gwyneth Paltrow like be less misunderstood, I'm a big fan of because you know I started that committee like 10 years ago. Yes. So Gwyneth Paltrow says her decision to consciously uncouple from her husband bled into her professional life. On the podcast, she said, I was supposed to do a movie at one point and it was like right after the conscious uncoupling thing with Chris. There was a lot of harsh stuff in the press. I think the distributor was like, this might be too hot to touch. She then added, so that was great because I was getting a divorce and then I got fired off. So it was so awesome. Did she say that she got fired because she was going through a divorce or because she was getting so much backlash, like from the conscious uncoupling? Backlash from conscious uncoupling. That's really lame of the movie. And I wish she had said who it was. I would love to know what movie it was. She's really good about naming names. She often goes on podcasts and like tells stories using names. So I wonder why she didn't. Yeah. conscious uncoupling was another like cultural moment that I do feel like sort of missed me and now when I think about it in hindsight like of course that's a crazy way to announce your divorce but I understand the sentiment and in recent years she has gone back and explained fully she doesn't backtrack she's like no I said what I said you guys just didn't understand it and when she explains it it's like oh yeah that's really nice yeah it's just two people getting divorced who don't hate each other who are going to make a really conscious effort to remain a and they've done it successfully. They co really well Like she was ahead of her time She said that on Shark Tank actually Her thing is that she ahead of her time She gets made fun of a lot Like she was doing gluten free grain free actually No sorry gluten free like 10 years ago and she was like, woo woo crazy Gwyneth. Now you can't walk into a restaurant without them having like a gluten free menu. Now she's onto grain free and it's like still, you know, not super and it will be the thing and one of the Shark Tank companies was like a grain free. So she's very on the cusp of like a lot of wellness things, a lot of trends and conscious uncoupling, she was just ahead of her time, mature queen. You know what it reminds me of? Like the sort of fanfare that it had was like entanglement with the Smiths. Yes, that's a great comparison. Right? Yeah. But I just haven't gotten to like the understanding phase of entanglement. Well, it's just like. Because like you had an affair, but I guess the way she sees it is like she just got entangled in something. She just got caught up. Honestly, I feel that. Yeah. It almost like wasn't her fault. She was tangled. Right. What would you do if you just got tangled up? So anyways, per usual, justice for Gwyneth. Per usual, justice for Gwyneth. And Gwyneth goes on choice podcasts. And I think it's a great PR strategy for her because she's slowly becoming much less misunderstood. I think for a while it was like, she's out of touch. She's yada yada. But every time she sits down on a podcast, those like ice chips sort of, for people who don't get her, which is not us, get chipped away. And this was a good one. Like there were a lot of clips that went viral and a lot of funny moments. She should do more podcasts. I know she has one. Yeah, and she does. But it's not about her. It's like she interviews other people. Yeah, but she's definitely long form. Like, you need to give her space. She can't be put in a box. Yeah, she's not like one sentence is going to sum it up. No. No, she's not. There's so much nuance. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. Ex-NFL pro Matt Khalil sues his ex-wife Haley for saying his penis size ended their marriage. So Matt Khalil was formerly married to influencer Haley Bailey. Yeah, do you know her? I do know her. She's TikTok, yeah. But she's like huge now. She's one of the biggest TikTokers. And she's on Reels. Yeah, of course. I've seen a bunch of stuff from her. All the big creators are. It's the place to be. 100%. And she made viral comments about his penis size. She claimed that his large penis size was the biggest factor in their 2022 divorce. Yeah, she went on like a Twitch stream, right? On Twitch in November. So a lot of people don't know. She has like a weird backstory. I didn't realize. I knew she was talking about someone penis size I actually just assumed it was negative Right okay So her backstory And I didn know she was formally married to an NFL player But please tell us She started blowing up on TikTok doing like funny content It like oh she funny and pretty Like it was crazy. She's like a former model. I don't think she had like a ton of success as a model. And that's why she turned to social media. And she talked a lot about how it was just like the worst industry ever. She loves it. She doesn't have to model anymore. And part of her backstory, like as a model, she was married to an NFL player. Her name is Haley Khalil. People don't realize like that's not her born name. That was her husband's married name. And nobody really cared so much about like why they got divorced. Like it's not like something that people wonder about her. But she did a Twitch stream and we're just like always learning more about her backstory. It's like so strange. And she said like part of the reason that they got divorced was because they literally could not be intimate. He had the biggest penis ever. And she was like we tried everything. She wasn't saying it in a salacious way, in a mean way. It was obviously like complimentary. But she was like at a certain point like we couldn't be married anymore because we could not have sex. Like it was just really crazy. I know. It went so viral because like it's literally a storyline in Sex and the City. Like things like this don't happen where Samantha couldn't be with that guy because he was just too big. Honestly, you know, I don't know who could be mad, but he's suing her. So that's crazy. So he's suing her for invasion of privacy as well as unjust enrichment. TMZ reports claiming she's benefited financially and received a surge in traffic as a result of the comments. he is suing for damages with the amount exceeding over 75 000 according to an statement to page six hayley bailey said uh the lawsuit is a shock she said the truth is in the original live stream which is still live on marlin's youtube account i speak highly of him in multiple ways throughout that conversation i'm genuinely shocked and incredibly hurt upon receiving the news of this filing litigation is a harrowing and emotionally draining experience and i'm heartbroken that he is choosing to subject us and our families to this ordeal um yeah i mean i could see him like being upset about it being an invasion of privacy even though like net net it's a positive for him um this does feel like sort of just like a money grab i don't know like how um like much money he's making in the nfl i had never heard of him before this so um maybe it has something to do with that because she's like definitely raking it in she's one of the biggest tiktokers in the world yeah um and she actually um posted a video i had sent it to you what was it about like how she just broke with her boyfriend and she was like, here are all the things my ex-boyfriend did to me. She was dating him for a year and a half. She won't say his name, it's so annoying. I won't say it, but obviously people know who it is. People do know, you said he was in her content? Yes, yes. And it turns out he was just like no Turns out he was just like a grifter using her for likes comments subscribers He was like seeing multiple women Couch potato Couch potato Worst boyfriend ever And she made this video being like, here are all the things that like, you know. My boyfriend did that shit in red flags. Right. But you wouldn't believe. And when I tell you, you could not waterboard this information out of me. Like the fact that she's telling, she has maybe like 15 million followers, telling 15 million people that she stayed with a man for a year and a half who didn't know her middle name halfway through their relationship. who on multiple occasions she had found was like texting seeing other women some of the stuff she was saying it was so shocking and it was like i know it's supposed to reflect poorly on him but i'm not gonna lie i'm like and you stayed with him for another year like i can't remember some of the stuff but i remember sending it to you being like the way i would never tell anyone this like i would take this information to my grave yeah i could find it and play for you guys but i'm not in the mood yeah no um the personal accountability was not in the room no at that very moment no it was not you know the things you do for love koji so true i'll do anything for you yeah this is like this is extreme i i guess he just like wants her to stop talking about him okay that's fair and he could just send a text maybe he did if they like ended amicably as she was like saying and everything's good but now she certainly will stop talking about him yeah it had seemed up until this point like they actually had a really nice quick marriage and a nice quick divorce and when they got married like they were both famous like she wasn't famous until tiktok you know what this reminds me of like brooks nader and her ex-husband like how were you guys married like yeah i was now engaged to naomi olinda i'm obsessed you know and it's like when did that happen how come we didn't see any of that part which part just like brooks and well she wasn't famous i know but it's just oh and no i'm sorry she was famous she was sports illustrated She was famous during a great part of her marriage. Billy. Billy. We should have known they would end up divorced because you would never know she was married. I don't even know if she wore her ring. She never posted a picture of him. I found out she was married through a friend of mine. They were like, you know she has a husband. I'm like, wait, what? Not that she was embarrassed of him, but she was not taking him to events. Maybe he didn't want to go on the carpet or he wanted to be private or she was ashamed of him. I don't know. The two people, the second she got a little bit famous, I don't think she wanted anyone to know she was married. Or it was like such a bad marriage, I don't know. I don't know, we don't know anything. I don't think it was so bad. I think it was just like, at the time that they got married, they were like mostly right for each other and then just like completely went in different directions. And maybe like the lifestyle that he has with Naomi now is like more his speed. Yeah. And I really do ship. mostly right for each other and then just like completely yeah people change different directions mostly right for each other and then just like completely yeah people change different directions and maybe like the the lifestyle that he has with Naomi now is like more his speed yeah and I really do ship me too and I feel like Brooks would even ship yeah it seems like everything was amicable like her dad still like likes him and talks to him you know Brooks went on Watch What Happens Live with Eric Jane and it was like the best episode of Watch What Happens Live in history like they haven't had a night like that was vintage you know they were both like cursing and it was just like amazing they were like obsessed with one another I don't think they had ever met before um and I think Andy asked about it like she doesn't know the Bravo lore but Andy was like would you ever go out with Craig and she was like who's that let me just say a ship like yeah thank you like they could swap I know um they could swap she was like I have no idea who that is but Brooks like you need to I love the idea of a wife swap yeah I think it makes so much sense because if a equals b yes we'll see and c equals d then a equals d Shania Twain yeah just think about it yeah today's episode of the toast is brought to you by haya haya are vitamins for kids that kids enjoy eating and they gamify them they make them so fun for the kids to eat they like can't wait till haya o'clock when they can have their vitamins and that is great for parents that you can make sure that your kids are getting their vitamins no matter what like their diets are that some kids don't want to eat their fruits and vegetables and you can supplement with Haya and make it really easy and fun for kids. 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To claim this deal, you must go to hayahealth.com slash toast. This deal is not available on their regular website. You go to h slash toast and get your kids the full body nourishment that they need to grow into healthy adults Today episode of The Toast is also brought to you by Game Time What time is it? Game Time. I'm so excited to get back out there, go to concerts, go to sports. Like those are some of my favorite memories in my life are going to live events and Game Time It makes it so easy to get tickets. So not only is the GameTime app user-friendly, they will get you the best prices. It is the best hack for unlocking amazing tickets and experiences in a few taps. It's incredibly easy to use. And the GameTime guarantee means you can trust you'll get 100% authentic tickets on time and at the best price. So some of the best features in the app, you get to customize your spot. You can get zone deals. It's an easy way to find and buy concert tickets. I also like using it to find what's going on in my area for discoverability. And I love concerts. And I love sports too. This is a sports podcast. And I love going to sporting events. And I don't love buying tickets all the time because it's not always the easiest. But with the Game Time app, it's like, oh, should we go check out a live event this weekend? Let's go to Game Time. So the Game Time app is the best. It takes the guesswork out of buying concert tickets. Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code TOAST for $20 off your first purchase. Terms apply. Again, create an account and redeem code TOAST, T-O-A-S-T, for $20 off. Swipe, tap, ticket, go. Download the Game Time app guaranteed today. Are you ready for our fourth story? Mm-hmm. Am I ready for our fourth story? Yes. So where do Kyle Richards and Mauricio Umansky stand if they're a touchy appearance at a New Year's Eve party? So Mauricio and Kyle were spotted getting chummy, touchy and warm at a New Year's Eve celebration, sparking reconciliation rumors. That would be so crazy. When I heard that, I was like. Honestly, I would be shocked because so much has happened, so much has happened. And you know what? I wound up weirdly watching a season one episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And I know like hindsight is 20-20, but the writing was on the wall. Okay. So not like we have definitely romanticized Kyla Mauricio. A lot of people forget those first couple of seasons. There were a lot of cheating allegations There was She had like someone they were going to a party the white party It was a season one white party She had like her assistant or someone was like doing her hair and like the way Marisa was looking at the Assistant The hair the girl in the room I was like like that would go viral now. Yes, yes. It didn't even register at the time. It kind of did though. Like people did not like ship them. They're like a holy grail, you know, housewives royalty couple now, but like a lot of people have amnesia. Also a lot of people are new to the fandom that like they forget the magazines. at the magazines. Remember when Lisa Vanderpump made Brandy bring those magazines to Mexico because they had reports of Mauricio cheating on Kyle. So it wasn't this like perfect always forever marriage. Now we look at it like that, especially since they got divorced. And sometimes when you make it so far, it's like, well, every marriage goes through. Even if he like did cheat at those times, like they worked through it, they got through it and they're still together and like stronger than ever. So like if she can forgive, I can forgive and like we can move forward. But I'm just saying like, even like just small details on the show, now in hindsight, I'm like, oh. I mean, there was a reason why Alison Dubois said your husband will never emotionally fulfill you. And it was so. I'm sorry. I don't care what Mauricio does. I will never concede that that bitch was right. Okay. She might not have been a psychic. She could have just been like reading the room and heard stuff around town. Like, you know what I mean? True. Just context clues. Not, you know, her third eye. True. And she had said it. And that's why it was such a big deal. Because like there was sort of like weirdness. Remember where there's smoke? Where there's smoke, there's fire. They said that in the show. And it was like such a big deal. like their marriage was a storyline for many seasons. I thought when she said that she was literally, might as well have been saying like to Adam and Eve, like. Right. She just like was making things up too. Romeo and Juliet. So what does page six say that they stand now? So a source tells Us Weekly that they're not getting back together or rekindling their romance. The insider added that there's still so much love between them and that they're in a really good place right now after announcing their split. Well, that's good. Actually, I could see you like being at the same party as your ex-husband, who you finally like are on good terms with. Like, why would you be, like, warm and cuddly? Yeah, I would hope. I'm, like, sure, separation and divorce. It's hard. Or if they're even divorced. Whatever. Separated is hard. But then I think, like, eventually, like, you would come, like, after all the hurt and pain and, like, if you're both happier now, then you can look back, like, look at this person and be, like, feel warm towards them. Yes, that happens a lot. And there are a lot of couples. And then get back together. If Alex Earle's parents can be in the same room, like, anyone can. Yeah. So I'm glad that they're in that stage of warm and fuzzy. But I don't think they're getting back together. I would seriously be shocked because they have completely different lives now I ended up on like Morgan Wade talk for like a week where I was just seeing lots of videos of her like at her concerts and stuff And you know her and Kyle kind of walk the same You know how like everyone talks about Kyle's walk. It's like stout and like cowboy like. Yeah. They kind of have the same walk. Well, she's a cowgirl. Mm hmm. So I think that's like where that. She's sort of like. It's just so crazy that her name is Morgan Wade and she's a country singer. I mean. Why? Morgan Wallen. Like it's just like one of the odds. I guess. No, it's weird. Okay. It's weird. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Some biz news. Oh, am I? You know, I'm obsessed with this story. Warner Brothers Discovery rejects Paramount's latest takeover offer, says it's still insufficient compared with the Netflix deal. So the song remains the same. Warner Bros. Discovery has turned down the latest acquisition offer by David Ellison's Paramount Skydance, and WBD's board is continuing to back the company's deal with Netflix. On Wednesday, Warner Brothers officially responded to Paramount's latest $30 per share, all-cash bid for Warner Brothers Discovery, its eighth takeover offer to date. Paramount's Skydance offer is not more favorable to WBD stockholders than the Netflix merger and continues to be inadequate, they said, because of its insufficient value taking into account price and numerous risks, costs, and uncertainties. This is where just like math is so important, right? Because Warner Brothers is a publicly traded company, they legally have to take the best offer for their shareholders. And Paramount has said, And we know the price per share, like their offer is more money, like billions more, like a couple of bill more. So they kind of like have to accept it. And so they're saying that it's not better for our shareholders. But like someone's lying. Who is it? Yeah. Yeah. They maintain the Netflix deal is better. They say P. Sky is a company with $14 billion market capitalization attempting an acquisition requiring $94 billion of debt and equity financing. Nearly seven times its total market capitalization to affect the transaction. intends to incur an extraordinary amount of incremental debt, more than $50 billion, through arrangements with multiple financing partners. In contrast, Netflix is a company with a market capitalization of approximately $400 billion. So they're basically saying they can't afford us. They have more money, right. They can't afford us, but they're taking on partners. Like, money's money, you know? Money's green. If it is green. Right, is it red? Oh, no. You know, I've seen red money. Okay, tell me about that. It's kind of like one of my most famous stories. I'm sure you've heard it. I witnessed a bank robbery on 72nd and 3rd. And I want to say... Is red money like a term? okay tell me about that it's kind of like one of my most famous stories i'm sure you've heard it okay tell me about that it's kind of like one of my most famous stories i'm sure you've heard it um i witnessed a bank robbery on 72nd and 3rd and i want to say is red money like a term well i was saying like red like when you're in the red like in debt but no red money so like when you rob a bank and they give you the money um it's actually like wrapped up in these like sort of how when you buy a shirt and it has like a security tag if you try to rip it off they say ink will come out i've never seen that is that true i've never tried to rip it off meaning like i'm not a thief yeah um and i'm not a thief right but if you do rob a bank they give you like a lot of cash it still has a security thing on it so if you rip it off it actually explodes red ink and it like burns a hole in the money so i'm on 72nd and 3rd all of a sudden all this money starts pouring onto the street it's like it was a windy day blowing in the street all the money is red and it has a big hole cut out in the middle it's sort of a security measure that even if you rob a bank like sorry but you can't have the money um and then of course like famously the police showed up and they said did you see the guy i said i did he was wearing a purple lacoste polo blue jeans running up third avenue i actually said because i was watching a lot of lauren otter at the time i said running north because I know third avenue goes uptown um and they were probably save them a lot of legwork I know and it was good right like I had been waiting my whole fucking life for this I was like I remembered everything he was bald he had um a purple I could like literally I could pick him out of a lineup to this day I knew in the moment like how special I was experiencing and I was like remember everything I didn't want to be one of those classic eyewitnesses with poor memory running north up third avenue worked alone which I thought was interesting like your desire to be involved in the case is bias in itself. Of course. But they didn't care. They were like, will you, do you think you could identify him? And I was like, what do I look stupid? Of course I could. It was three seconds ago. You're actually such an unreliable witness because you want it so bad. I know. They didn't know how desperate I was at the time. So they're like, get in the car. Come, we're going to drive and find him. And I was like, obviously, Ben, hold my purse. And Ben was like, you can't go. And I was like, I can't? He was like no are you crazy I like am I crazy I couldn And they were like the police were like ma we don have time get the get your fat ass in the car and i was like okay reliable witness they call am i being crazy like am i being crazy and is this a crazy thing to do and i was like oh i guess like it is crazy ben's right like ben's always right i thought at the time i never thought that again um i was like no sorry i can't they're like we're done with you and they just like got in the car and ran north on third avenue and then like i was walking continuing to walk like a block down two blocks and we were like, that was so crazy. And I look at Ben and I'm like, you're fucking stupid. Like, why did I listen to you? It's one of my biggest regrets, of course, you guys know, listening to Ben. And that was actually the last time I ever listened to him. That's not true. You listen to him a lot. Jacuse, would you like to substantiate that with some sort of claim? Nothing that I can say here. Oh, okay. So I'm back into a corner. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, you didn't have to say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the last time I listened to Ben. That should be the last time you listened to him. Well, I'm glad for this story because it let you tell your favorite story. And you know what? And that's what we mean when we say that the Fast Five are a gateway drug. You're right, though. You did see Red Money. I didn't know what you were about to say. And we've just learned a lot about how to not rob a bank. Yeah. So if you're going to rob, a bank is actually not a good choice for a million reasons. Like, you're most likely not going to get away with it. But also the money that you steal, it's not like in the movies. It's not just like loose bills. And it's marked. It's marked. It can be traced back to you. It's actually not usable. If you take one of those red burned $5 bills to like a bodega, they're going to get out of here. Of course. Yeah. With a hole in it. Right. They're like, no, we only accept like full bills. Right. So just like fun fact of the day, rob a Target or something or get a job. Yeah. Don't rob. Yeah. No, don't rob. That's not the lesson I want to leave you guys with. Robbing is actually bad. I've witnessed so many robberies. Don't rob. I witnessed a robbery in Duane Reade during COVID. It was funny because like it was in the city and like they just like they have a high bar for like what to be afraid of like nobody moved No no customers I think everybody looked at him like shamed him into leaving They were like you not serious right And he had a knife too Like nobody moved Okay. Yeah. And then also when I got, um, why was I doing it? That's CVS. I think maybe I was getting like a flu shot or something. It was like, why was I in a CVS? I don't know. Getting your basic needs met. No, but like I don't go in the city. Like you don't go to CVS. You go to Duane Reade. Oh, it just depends on your location. I feel like maybe I was getting like my COVID shot because like I was I went to this random CVS like where you could get an appointment. It was like the Hunger Games back then. Yeah, I think I was getting it. Yeah, yeah. And it got robbed. He was like filling up his backpack with snacks and they just didn't care. Yeah, they have like they just. No, and it's also like I don't own this store. I'm not gonna put my life out on the line because you want some chips. Like, yeah, I understood them deeply. Yeah. And that's like it's more of a cultural issue. Like, why are we robbing? and this this poor clerk who's like just on his shift wasn't gonna solve it yeah have you ever stolen anything i don't think so and i wouldn't say it here i feel like you stole my jacket that you wore on new year's like right from my closet and i hadn't seen it in years it's a family heirloom what it's a family heirloom that was given to me and me no actually just me i don't ever like i've been wearing that since afterdale i've been wearing that coat like i had that coat in college okay and then and obviously when you were living in that apartment with olivia at seven seven whatever that building was called you obviously wore it on like a night out because like i used it was my night out jacket and you just never gave it back yeah no i remember i wore it on afterdale because it was like very cheryl blossom okay so i lent it to you for a costume yeah it does sound like you had it for a time and then i had it for a time well i'd like it back i live in new york and you What do you need a fur coat for? You can just fucking ask. I give you anything you want. It's true. And say you have to accuse me of being a thief Well you accused me of being shy I have the stuff to back it up So do I jacket And I just want to say it is a family coat and my run with it is done. I would be happy. Your reign has ended. I'd be happy to give it to you. Great. I'd be happy to receive it. I'll be picking it up. I'm actually coming over for dinner, so. Great. No need for jacuzzi. You have big plans tonight? What are you doing? I'm having dinner with you on Forge. Tell that. Oh, but who are you going to talk to because your dinner mate is so shy. No, we are having dinner. Tacos. I'm really excited. I'm hungry. And we're having lunch together, too, if we can stop biting. We are having lunch together if we can stop biting. I thought you were going to be like, oh, we are biting. By the way, tomorrow's a big day. Tomorrow's Traders Day, like the day we've sort of been waiting for for months. We are watching Traders. And I think, if I read correctly, that they're releasing the first three episodes. Okay, good. So how are we going to watch it all in one night? I don't know. That's what I was thinking. Maybe we watch it over the weekend because it comes out Thursday night. Yeah, and it's not like all of you have watched it the first night. So maybe Monday will be Traders. Okay, I think that's good. Yeah. Don't want to take on too much. I also weirdly watched, for some reason, the season finale of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City last night because Ben wasn't home and the show that we watched together I couldn't watch. Well, please don't spoil it. It was really bad, I just want to say. I've heard so much. I've been off the Salt Lake City train for a while. You watched this current? Yeah, in Greece, right? Yeah, I'm not there. Oh my God, it was like not good. Okay But I was intrigued Okay Well I'm gonna watch it My new favorite show That's our show you guys Sorry if you didn't hear A lot from me today Because I was feeling Really shy Thank you guys so much For listening to the Toast and Land I'm warning you We deliver the best Life stories You need to remember My name is Friday YouTube is where I Change I need you to please Subscribe to this video Thumbs up We're also available On Spotify Because we're Back as a We found So it's Not a bad Digital public radio Out here Because it's All the best Love you Bye Leave a message That's right I love it So good you